So I fully realize that this post is taking place well after Halloween. This is because during the week of Halloween, I and my equally computer illiterate friend, Erin, were trying to get this blog up and running. The fact that we were spending HOURS trying to learn all of the computer science that we avoided in college, (oh wait, there was no freaking internet or blogs when we were in college), showcased how much precious time I was wasting on Halloween activities.
But despite the fact this “holiday” has come and gone, I still wanted to record for all of motherhood what took place in my house over a two, I repeat, two hour period. Because yes, I do want a cookie. So, in said time period, Jellybean (10) and I constructed a papier mache zombie wedding cake; I cooked dinner, edited a speech, braided hair (so Coco (13) could have wavy hair when delivering the speech,) mended a shirt (to be worn during the speech), folded laundry, and shortened the pinkie of a Michael Jackson glove. So if you are like,” Ellen, you could have put away the Super Woman cape and passed on the laundry,” I have this response for you: we all desperately needed clean underwear in our drawers. While I generally prefer to have my kids do the laundry; the facts were, Coco was writing her speech and Jellybean is not yet woman enough to multi-task to the level of working with flour paste and clean laundry simultaneously.
Wanna slice with the finger or the brain??
Now out of all of the tasks, I do have to admit that the papier mache was the most fun. As you can see our zombie wedding cake was epic.
But the most annoying task was shortening the pinkie of the Michael Jackson glove that we ordered online for $10. That stupid pinkie was as long as the ring finger. Take a look at your own finger and you will realize how freaky that is! Now before you judge me on the $10 glove, wrap your head around the fact that it was my ten year old daughter that was dressing up as Michael Jackson. That is definitely on the spectacular side of awesome. I will have to delve further into her Michael Jackson obsession at another time.
Now if it never entered your mind to question why I was making a papier mache zombie wedding cake, congratulations, you are a mother. You were doing your own equally stupid things during Halloween, so I don’t seem that far off the bell curve to you. At my daughter’s elementary school, they have this great event, started by a great teacher called Trunk-or -Treat. Parents circle their cars at the fire company’s carnival grounds and the kids trick-or- treat from trunk- to- trunk. Sounds simple, but what would be the fun if there was no competition involved? Of course, we have to decorate the trunks! It is in its fourth year and as with all good things it gets grander and grander. The first year we opened our decoration box and threw a bunch of stuff in our trunk. APPARENTLY, we were not really embracing the spirit of the whole thing. My mommy tiara got a little tarnished. The second year we did an 80’s theme, but alas, the older gentlemen judging the trunks were not feeling that “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” The third year we won a trophy (that is still proudly displayed on the mantle) for “Kid Friendliest Theme.” Check out the “Funky Monkey Hot Tub.”
We have a lot of monkeys.
You are looking at a winning trunk, Sister!
Well, the theme this year was “Zombie Wedding.” (We watch way too much “Say Yes To The Dress” and “Cake Boss”). This involved constructing a zombie couple out of PVC pipe and the aforementioned cake. We’ll just say I spent $100 on this glorious-ness since Frank has promised to read my blog at some point. I swear, you give me PVC pipe, wire ties, duct tape, and fishing line and I can out-design MacGyver. But oh my goodness, this dragged on my time so much that I had to practice deep breathing and drink wine to calm myself down. The killer is that this event replaced a free and simple school Halloween parade. Kids just brought their costumes to school and walked around the school yard; simple as that. But would we really be in the 21st century if we were allowed to keep things simple?
Zombie Implants: NOT FDA Approved
And just to give you some insight into Erin’s “fun-loving/not learning from my tribulations” psyche; she stole the idea for her school. Oy!
Well, to bring this story to a close, we were indeed victorious. Oh yeah, we won “Most Creative!” People were standing next to our creeps for photo ops like it was Disney World. Was it all worth it for the plastic trophy and $10 Wawa gift card? I must admit, we are competitive enough to say, “Yes!” But truth be told, Jellybean’s excitement and pride were pretty awesome, too. I can hear the thump of one more brick mortared into the foundation of our relationship. And here is the Sisterhood Secret: you REALLY need that foundation to be strong by the time they reach their teens. Just ask Coco, who wasn’t too cool to celebrate with the rest of us.
-Ellen
