Flummoxing Technology: The Rubbish List

This post was written in response to a Monday Listicle prompt, but as you can see, it turned into much more than a list. It is actually a little, tiny portal showing some of the nuts and bolts of how two women cooperate to write a blog together. If you have never visited us before, Erin and I CO-AUTHOR the blog posts and transcribe them like our conversations. This requires a level of cooperation that nations should strive to achieve as a model for world peace. Seriously.

So, without further ado, we are linking up to Yeah Write Me #48. Head on over there to check out more great blogs. It is our favorite place to catch up on our reading.

                                       – Ellen

Ellen– Stasha at The Good Life  hosts this fabulous fun party known as the Monday Listicles. (If I get any comments pointing out that it is now Tuesday, I might drop kick a stuffed animal. Do you want that on your conscience?) This week’s Monday Listicles topic comes from Jessica at My Time As Mom, who suggested we make a list of things we’re rubbish at. And since Stasha personally asked/challenged us to join in, I immediately called Erin. (Ok, maybe she didn’t challenge, per se, but I am rubbish at turning down a request.)

Erin– Yesterday Ellen could barely speak, had a fever, and was suffering from one of the more heinous upper respiratory infections making the rounds in our fair county.  This point is significant, because today, slightly less feverish and ill, she rose from her bed and practically BEGGED me to write this list.

Ellen– I was thinking it was so much cheaper than mediation and would require less energy than slugging it out in one of those inflatable sumo wrestling rings.

Erin–You see, I am absolute RUBBISH at technology. This is not a big deal unless you have decided to partner with me to write a blog. And then it’s a big, stinking, miserable deal, because blogging is only partially about writing.

Ellen– It is a whole lot about mastering technology and making it your biotch.

Erin–  I keep hearing Kelly Clarkson singing, “That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Watch out for Ellen then.  Really. After blogging with me, she will be able to lift a bus with one hand. She really will be able to wear those red boots and lasso. 

 

Without further ado, the top ten things about technology that flummox me, thus almost kill Ellen, and at which I am absolute rubbish:

1. My Virtual Mailbox

Erin– Ahh, email. This lovely technology has made my life easier in so many ways and completely highlights how little attention I give to organizing certain things. Like email. In the earliest days of our blog, Ellen emailed me everything she could find about blogging.

Ellen– Lots of these were about technology, folks. Take note that until about four months ago, I would have sworn HTML code was a coupon for H&M.

Erin– She even organized the emails in a folder on her Gmail account—I would NEVER even think to do something like that.  Later, but not THAT much later, Ellen got irritated with me, because she thought I was ignoring her emails.

Ellen- Gee, they were only about getting our domain name pinned down.

Erin-I was responding. Truly. But on further inspection, they were stuck in my outbox. Oy. No words. Just oy.

 

2. My Voicemail

Erin–Yeah, my Voicemail on my home phone and cellphone are both full. I have lost the access numbers and passwords. My BIL Dan tried to help me rectify this over Christmas. He has the patience of a saint, but after about thirty minutes he Pontius Pilated me and washed his hands of the whole mess. When your patron saint declares you a lost cause, you know you’ve got troubles.

Ellen– I sometimes resort to telepathic powers to communicate with her.

 

3. Posting Pictures

Erin– To be fair, posting pictures to a blog is one of the trickier things to learn early on. There’s re-sizing, and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of choices. Thumbnail, medium, full-size. Right, left, center. It’s like the Starbucks of visual media, and all I was looking for was a little coffee. On the Blirth-day of the blog, Ellen was setting up Google Analytics, Twitter, and, well, everything else. Meanwhile, I was trying to put my picture on my bio. It took AWHILE.

Ellen– I was actually generating code and she called me expecting a celebration when she got a picture posted.

Erin– I have gotten better, but it’s SLOW.

 

4. Distinguishing Activity From Productivity

Erin– One of the unwritten rules is that blogs are like houses in a lovely community and you are supposed to make the rounds and COMMENT on them.  Hey, nice curtains, lovely rug–that sort of thing. The first time we linked up to Yeah Write Me, I read like 50 blogs, wrote a lovely, lengthy email to Ellen about who we should vote for and why, but I didn’t write a single comment on a single blog.  Yeah, I know. (Head hung in shame)

Ellen– Don’t worry folks, I’m all about playing fair, so I swept behind and commented up a storm.

 

5. Linking Things Up

Erin – It’s kind of a key part of blogging to link things, but I break links like they are a china shop, and I am a bull. Letters appear out of nowhere and attach themselves in funny places BREAKING the link. I don’t copy the whole address BREAKING the link. I don’t even know WHAT I do and I end up BREAKING the link. To say that it’s a problem might be the understatement of the century.

Ellen– Maybe just checking every link you “think” you have posted, might be a goal? I feel like I just channeled Dr. Seuss.

 

6. Posting Videos

Erin– AGAIN. It bites me twice, because we also like to add videos to our blog posts. Well, the story here starts with my optimistic email to Ellen that read, “Hey, I loaded the video. Blog is ready to go!” Um, well, not really. I hadn’t actually added anything but a link to YouTube that took readers away from our site.

Ellen– And a picture of the video that took you to a blank page.

Erin– Don’t you wish you had a partner just like me??

 

7. Using My Awesome, Superduper, SmartPhone

Erin– This phone is like a bucking bronco I can’t break. It pocket-dials, refuses to return emails, tweets when it feels like it, and only surfs the net when the mood strikes it. I took it back to the store and they claimed it was an ID10T error.

Ellen– Hmmmm.

 

8. Mastering My MAC

Erin– I am the world’s worst spokesperson for the world’s best computer brand. Apple makes products for people just like me. Everything about Apple is supposedly intuitive and user-friendly. I am the unfriendliest user EVER.

Ellen– She actually FROZE the screen. I have spent years having Mac users snarkily tell me to abandon my PC because Macs are so foolproof.

Erin– This is such a rare occurrence with a MAC that the Apple Geniuses almost had me escorted out the door by the cops who stand sentry. The bottom line is that I don’t even know how to harness all my power for good.

Ellen– Yet.

 

9. Attending To Details

Erin– So much of technology in general, and blogging technology specifically, is the ability to dot i’s and cross t’s. I am a big idea person; the details often confound me or in this case poor Ellen. I regularly forget to check boxes that tag our posts or bring readers back to our pages. My husband Steve calls this Erin phenomena “Oh, look, a rock.” As in, Erin is swimming around a fishbowl and “Oh, look, a rock.”  Over and over and over. I get lost a lot too.

Ellen– She DID NOT inform me that her hubby had named a phenomenon about her attention span before I agreed to start blogging with her. Just sayin’.

 

10. Squashing My Utter, Gripping, Handicapping Fear

Erin– Ellen was out for jury duty two weeks ago and left me in charge of the blog. I was sweating like it was a heat wave in August. I know me. Too damn well. I knew I would forget to check a box, or break a link, or post a picture upside down or backward (I know you think it can’t be done, but I am like the anti-superhero of the computerworld—just watch me!).

Ellen– She does produce a force field that makes even my computer go wiggy sometimes. I think she should get her dental work inspected.

Erin– And it’s not like Ellen has all that much computer background, she’s just not terrified of it. I buck, I stomp, I stone-cold back away from the challenge of it all. But the thing about calling a spade a spade, or in this case, myself RUBBISH, is that it takes the power of it all away.  Words can tame the beast. In our house we say, “Fight the Tiger; Embrace the Mountain.” All this time, I thought technology was the tiger at the door, but really it’s just the mountain to climb. And I’m going to get my gear on. Really.

 

Bonus

Ellen– I hope so! But there is one more thing at which Erin is rubbish: giving herself props. She has the most accepting and good-natured disposition of any woman I have ever met. Her kindness knows no bounds. She is the friend we all rely on to deliver hard to hear news to members of the Sisterhood because she truly has a gift for being non-abrasive. She is the Labrador Retriever of women, friend to all. She can also accept criticism like no one I have ever seen. Grace should be her middle name. It is the only thing that can explain why she still takes my calls (of course, she has to have her phone turned on). Let’s face it, it’s one heck of a woman who would write this post.

Erin– I just didn’t want to rent the inflatable sumo suits.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

You will LOVE these too!

Share it real good . . .
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on StumbleUponShare on RedditEmail this to someonePrint this page

Comments

comments

56 thoughts on “Flummoxing Technology: The Rubbish List”

  1. Stasha

    I butt dial all the time and I am tech savvy. Or at least I fancy myself being the Internet guru, armed with my apple squad.
    Anyhow my VM is full, I never ever answer any calls, I reply to emails with 2 week delay and I hide in the coat room when FedEx guy comes( cause I am still in PJ’s-unrelated but whatever)…
    Bottom line, Ellen stick with Erin. At least she can handle her drinks 🙂
    Stasha recently posted..Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      It truly is more like Erin is stuck with me. I am honestly not a picnic. And I know it.
      You hide from the FedEx guy too? I wish I could fit in my coat closet. 🙂
      Ellen

  2. Recovering Supermom

    So fun to read! I love the banter between you, too. And Erin, I can totally relate. I constantly swear at my husband’s smart phone because of that same error. Technology baffles me, too, but I’m with you in trying to climb the mountain. 🙂

  5. Audrey

    Ok you guys have me giggling so hard! I love it! I suck at most things for my own blog like posting decent pictures !

  7. Jen West

    I am married to an Erin. I have to tell him his password so he can update his iPhone. I have to check his email. I have to tell him what his email address is when he has to give it to someone! Okay, maybe he is worse than Erin! A lot worse!

    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Erin claims sometimes she can’t remember if I said something or if her husband Steve said it. She claims our voices sound a lot alike in her head. MOST of the time I think this is funny. 🙂 Ellen

  9. heidi

    I am right there with you on this. In fact, yesterday I had a blog post crisis which nearly reduced me to tears. And all I had to do was ‘update’ my changes. It took me a half an hour to figure that out. Sheesh!
    Glad to know I’m not the only one.:)
    heidi recently posted..what not to sayMy Profile

  10. Robbie

    i can completely relate to this! If you know me at all you know better than to leave me a voicemail on my cell…I will likely never check it b/c it NEVER occurs to me to do so and b/c I NEVER remember my secret codes!

    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Hope it fills up for you soon so that you no longer have to be bothered! That’s Erin’s strategy. BTW, I control all passwords. 🙂 Ellen

  11. stephanie

    Another fun post. I think I’m somewhere in between. I love all the new technology but it takes me some time to figure it out. Doesn’t come easily. There is an Egyptian beer called Stella. On the t-shirts they produce for promotion they write, That Which Does not Kill Us makes us Stronger. Are they referring to their product? Next time I have a difficult tech problem to solve maybe I’ll pop open a bottle, see what happens. And play K Clarkson’s song at the same time.

  12. Delilah

    This was hysterical! I laughed out loud the entire time I was reading and my kids think I’m insane. I don’t even know how to use the stupid voicemail on my phone. People have given up and they just text me now.
    Delilah recently posted..So What?My Profile

    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      I figure if I make it funny, Ellen can see the lighter side of it too. She is my most generous friend—she has given me the gift of time to figure this stuff out. Erin

  16. Jamie

    I always feel tech smart until I try to fancy up my blog and then I remember I have no idea what I’m doing. As for the commenting…. I REALLY wish there was a LIKE button like there is on Facebook. So you would know I was here, that I read but that I just didn’t have the time to comment… but that I liked it and it made me happy to visit you %)
    Jamie recently posted..blog about the blogMy Profile

  18. Louise Ducote

    You ladies rock. I feel so much better about myself now. When I link up with yeah write I can never get the badge to appear in my post, so I just have to make a link (and I think I should get a prize for doing so) and then I feel terrible and un-supportive of the awesome yeah write community, but it’s the best I can do. Loved this post.

      1. The Sisterhood Post author

        She is only saying that because I finally got antibiotics for my bronchitis. She hasn’t been in my personal space for close to 2 weeks. 🙂 Ellen

  19. Jennifer

    You two are the funniest. I loved this post and truly laughed out loud.

    This: “He Pontius Pilated me and washed his hands of the whole mess. When your patron saint declares you a lost cause, you know you’ve got troubles.” HILARIOUS!!!

    I want in to the Sisterhood. Except you make me do math all the time. But I still love you.
    Jennifer recently posted..Signed, Sealed, DeliveredMy Profile

  20. Kim@Mamamzungu

    Erin, we are cut from the same cloth. I have a whole PAGE on my blog about the irony of someone so crap at technology trying to blog. It’s good to know there are others like me out there in the bloggy world. In fact, (this is not joke) this is the second time I’m writing this comment because the first time it didn’t take. (forgot the span filitering math question!) Argh!
    Kim@Mamamzungu recently posted..You’re Doing Everything WrongMy Profile

    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Just for you and in a move of solidarity, we (really, I) have turned the Captcha off. “Our Back Story” under the About tab also contains a history of our tech woes. Ellen

  21. Stacey

    I love how you two work together on every post. Seriously. It is so cool. I’ve never heard of the “oh, look, a rock” phenomenon, but that is hilarious!
    Stacey recently posted..FourMy Profile

  23. Susan

    Y’all crack me up. Tangientally, why does my smartphone think it’s smarter than I am? Although I can say for CERTAIN that wordpress is WAY smarter than I am. What the hell is a codex, anyway?
    Susan recently posted..Here Comes the RoarMy Profile

  27. Pingback: Telephone | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Comments are closed.