It is a beautiful spring day, and we are lazing on the couch in Erin’s sunroom blogging. Erin is absentmindedly stroking her cat.
Erin says as she strokes his chest, “Wow, my cat’s fur is turning red. I thought he was all black.”
Ellen replies, “Cats just don’t turn red. Are you sure “he” is a male? Those are calico markings and calicos are almost universally female.”
Erin says, “Of course I have a male, I’m not stupid. More importantly, who knows this kind of sh*%? <pause> Dork.”
But Erin proceeds to reluctantly flip the cat over and poke around in its nether regions. Oh, yes, there was searching.
Erin exclaims, “There’s no penis! This is not my cat!”
Cat thinks, “WTF? Buy me dinner first.”
Ellen at this point is crying so hard that tears and snot are running down her face. Erin opens the door and shoos the grifter cat out faster than Maria Shriver gave the boot to the Terminator.
We can’t make this mess up. Erin has two “real” cats. She had previously taken one to the vet because he was losing his fur. The vet diagnosed anxiety. Do you think this could be the reason…
By Ellen Williams Erin Dymowski