Park Quest and 1000 Dollars

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It’s time for our annual Big Love adventure! Five mommas and 14 kids need some serious supplies for a “camping” (quotes because we’re staying in a state park conference center) “vacation” (quotes because this is a family trip, NOT a vacation). We thought for giggles, we would give ourselves a $1000 limit.

Shopping List for Big Love Park Quest

1. Food

You go through a lot of marhmallows when your toasters are this good.

We’re feeding a small army, people!  And when we don’t plan properly our wallets and our arses get bitten.

There was the time we thought we planned, but the Pizza Hut Erin meticulously mapped out for us to stop at was closed. We’re not talking we arrived after business hours; we’re talking the windows were boarded up and the letters were pried off the roof. Friendly’s made their sales quota on us that day.

Then there was the time Erin told us there would be a place to get chicken on the way home from the beach (you guessed it, it was closed, but only regular closed) and Ellen spent an hour driving around looking for food. It was like a Christmas Miracle when she found the McDonald’s in the middle of NOWHERE. If only she had a star or GPS to follow that day. $80 later, the hysterically hungry troops were fed. With greasy crap. Oy.

And yes, we’re starting to realize Erin might have a wee bit o’ the Pied Piper in her soul.

 

2. Hydration

6 x $17.99 = $107.94 spent to protect Mother Earth. Yes, we will accept that Nobel Prize now.

We keep trying to find an economical and earth friendly way to keep us all hydrated. Drinking the tap water: bleh! Cases of bottled water: fail!

This year we are bringing big jugs of water and reusable water bottles. While this is going to be earth friendlier, we’re not sure about cheaper. Erin spent $17.99 on indestructible stainless steel bottles for her and her five kids.

As Erin’s husband Steve quipped, “Lost trumps indestructible.” We’ll see how this goes.

 

3. Sunscreen

Imagine it!

We are serious about protecting our babies from melanoma and that shizz is expensive. It might be cheaper to rent cabana boys to carry umbrellas over our heads. And sexier.

 

4. Mosquito Repellent

When skeeters are this big…

My favorite is O-

..this only makes ’em proclaim, “You taste Skintastic!”

Like icing on a cake. A blood filled cake. Ellen just didn’t know.

So since Agent Orange is illegal…

That’s 40% DEET MoFos!

 

Not Erin’s kit, but close. What’s up with the whisk, though? In case you want to whip up a souffle while waiting for the paramedics?

5. Band-Aids

You just can’t prevent the boo-boos. One year, Erin assured us that she had first aid covered because her son had made a mega kit in Boy Scouts.

So upon the first whimper about the first blister,  she whipped out her suitcase of a kit, her eyes shining brightly with pride. If Ellen had needed to set a broken bone, the tools were there, but NOT ONE FREAKIN” BAND-AID was to be found! Apparently, her family had pilfered the bandages out without replacing them. Boy Scout no-no.

Her son limped away with the plaster cast Ellen fashioned, but we ALL buy Band-Aids now.  And yes, Erin’s Pied Piper-ness is not lost on us. Again.

 

Gas to get to Dick’s: $8.00  Three pairs of adult sized Keens: $239.97  Comfy feet: Priceless

6. Keens

With the blisters comes the knowledge that cheap footwear is well, cheap. We have even tried not so cheap alternatives from Land’s End, but Ellen ended up with  inflamed plantar fasciitis. So Ellen was thrilled when Laura called to tell her Keens were on sale for $30 at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Yeaaaaah, that was for children’s sizes and Ellen sadly learned that even her youngest wears a women’s size now. Mastercard loves her.

 

7. Kayaking Outfits

Okay, so maybe “kayaking outfits” makes us sound as authentic as Project Runway contestants hitting the Great Outdoors, but it’s a joke stemming from the teasing lavished on Ellen when she showed up in her cute little kayaking clothes.  But she knew proper performance clothes meant she’d still be happy at the end of the day. Everyone laughed and made merry, but Ellen had the last laugh 7 hours later when she was the only one to dodge the chafing and diaper rash bullet. She ended up sitting pretty. Get it?

Dry in 15 minutes.

Begging for Desitin 7 hours later

 

8. SD cards

We know, we know, you can reuse them, but we take a lot of pictures. Erin, Mary, and Laura are fabulous at managing their photos.

But Ellen and Vickie? Not so much. We have been tripped up driving all over hell and creation looking for SD cards. So we stock up.

We’re not asking for donations, so stop judging. We mean it.

9. Gasquest

Not that kind of gas. The term for that is “Fartquest” as coined by Mary’s family, fueled by salsa and chips. We’re talking about what makes our mini-van regatta go vroom. Maryland is no Texas in terms of square footage, but we’re traveling from the top of the Chesapeake Bay to the bottom. Not. Cheap.

Alright, we’re PROBABLY drinking box wine out of plastic cups. Shut up.

10. Alcohol

If you’ve read the rest of this list, you know we need something to boost the Sisterhood’s mood after a day of mayhem. We’re only human.

Editor’s Note: We removed most of the actual prices when we realized we busted the $1000 budget. We hereby declare our list “Things we WISH only cost $1000.”

What’s that you hear? That’s the sound of us weeping because we realized we could have funded a kick-ass girls’ weekend in New Orleans for what we spent on this trip. But then again, figure in the babysitting and we might have hit bankruptcy. Plus you really can’t put a price on memories. Humor us.

– Ellen and Erin

 

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37 thoughts on “Park Quest and 1000 Dollars”

  11. sara

    Love this! But i will say these work miracles against the mosquitoes http://www.cabelas.com/insect-repellent-control-clip-8482-repellent-1.shtml?WT.tsrc=CSE&WT.mc_id=GoogleProductAds&WT.z_mc_id1=716034&rid=40&mr:trackingCode=8919DE51-F5D2-DF11-82EF-001B21631C34&mr:referralID=NA&mr:adType=pla&mr:ad=5855053104&mr:keyword={keyword} better than any spray I’ve found …And yes alcohol is a MUST…but what about something to charge your laptops on…otherwise how can we keep up with all your camping adventures? 😉
    sara recently posted..$1000….no strings attached….what to do….My Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      I will check those out but they won’t make it on this trip. Thanks! And we are in a cabin/conference center. It is rustic, but there is electricity, water, and TOILETS! I’m more of a camping-ish girl. 😉 Ellen

      Reply ↓
  16. Aunt Karo

    I wish I was young enough to go with you all–everything is such an adventure. You will have memories for years to come. Love to read what you do!

    Reply ↓
    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      We are leaving today and I am feeling a bit crazy. Just discovered I have 10 pictures left on my camera. Apparently I can write the list, I just can’t follow the list. Ellen

      Reply ↓
  22. Janice

    Awesomesauce list! Looks like you had everything covered. And I bet not one of the kids has any idea about all the work and planning it takes to do this. Gosh. Kids are so lucky. They just pack up and go. Wait….most cases, they don’t even pack up – we pack up for them! They just have to get their butts in the car. I wanna be a kid! Waah!
    Janice recently posted..Money TreeMy Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      What you see here is trial and error. We learned big time from our mistakes. This really was our smoothest year ever.

      But if only we did have a cabana boy. Sigh. We did have a little boy join our herd on the beach. He had a very hot dad, but now that I think about it, he was useless. He didn’t carry one damn thing for us and he got to relax on the beach while we watched the kid. Label us suckers. 🙂 Ellen

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