It was a lovely Girls Night Out. Good restaurant, good libations, and great friends… until someone brought IT up.
The Spark That Burned Girls’ Night Out to the Ground
Ellen: The conversation was bubbling along. Everyone was laughing. News was being exchanged. Then someone said, “Did you know Andy Griffith passed away last week?” And YOU said. . .
Erin: “I can’t stand Andy Griffith.”
Ellen: And then there was silence.
Erin: For about HALF a second. Before everyone lost their ever-loving minds on me. It was as if I had said “Why, yes, those jeans really do make you look fat”. I would never say that by the way, but the reaction might have been less hysterical if I did.
Ellen: But peacemaker that you are, you DID proclaim Opie to be a stupid name as a follow-up statement.
Erin: That MAY have dumped gasoline on the fire. Listen people, it rhymes with Dopey! It can’t just be me.
Who knew that Andy Griffith was gonna be the guy who turned me into a social pariah? I can’t believe this was the second group of people to lose their minds on me about our buddy from Mayberry.
Ellen: I CAN’T BELIEVE you brought it up again after you nearly reduced your friend’s July 4th party to an emotional maelstrom of rending garments and gnashing teeth.
Erin: It was like I had spit on the flag and apple pie.
Ellen: Just to clarify she did NOT spit on the flag OR apple pie. Focus your hate mail on the topic at hand: The Andy Griffith Show.
Goober and Erin have communication problems
Erin: I MAY have pushed everyone to the brink when I said, “If he wasn’t already dead, I would shoot him myself.”
Ellen: What in the name of Goober is WRONG with you?
Erin: You know how when a Great White Shark senses blood in the water and just starts snapping its jaws at everything. The group outrage frenzy might have made me react a little more strongly than I would have liked. Or it could have been the Whiskey Sour Slushes.
Ellen: This analogy might be more accurate if the shark actually bites its own butt. You shot yourself in the foot not once, but TWICE with Barney Fife’s revolver. This is really hard to do considering he had only one bullet.
But on this night, I had your back. I agreed with you because I always found the whole show, well, patronizing.
Erin: Exactly! We both grew up in small podunk towns. Heck, when I was a little girl I lost my chicken in the grocery store and we barely got home before the phone was ringing with a helpful townsfolk wanting to return it.
Ellen: Wait. Are we talking about a real chicken or pre-packaged?
Erin: Neither. It was a stuffed animal lovey.
Ellen: Okay, because if you had lost a live chicken in a public store and had a neighbor call to return it, we could just end this discussion right here. You would have total rights to bust on Mayberry until the cows come home.
Erin: But since that is not the case, we decided to do a little research to see if our disdain is misplaced. It has been decades since either one of us was force-fed an episode. We’re stirring pots based solely on the aftertaste this silly show left in our mouths before we were even able to drive down Main Street.
Ellen: So we did the Sensible thing: we set a soccer ball in motion to occupy the kids, looked up this episode on You Tube at random…
Erin: And quite frankly waited in anticipation to be proven correct.
Erin: The conclusion? I have been outcast because people can’t handle the truth!
Ellen: Golllll-y, I hope y’all didn’t actually watch that video because it was just as sexist, podunk, and patronizing as we remembered.
Erin: In the episode, a traveling British valet…
Ellen: On a bike no less..
Erin: ...bumbles into Mayberry and causes a vehicular accident.
Ellen: Translated—The Brit’s wrong-side-of-the-road cycling causes a beater truck to smash into empty crates. At 5 mph. Causing “damage” to the primer paint job.
Erin: He does not have the cash to pay for the damage, so Andy has him come to his home to work off the debt.
Ellen: What is more American apple pie than making someone your INDENTURED SERVANT!?! Ever heard of due process, Matlock?
Erin: So blundering misunderstandings ensue and the indentured servant overhears Barney and Andy talking about him…
Ellen: Like 12 year old girls. Wait, that is insulting to 12 year old girls.
Erin: Well, it’s definitely not icon worthy behavior.
Ellen: The Englishman skulks off, Andy chases him down, and, I swear, talks to him like he is one pancake short of a stack to convince him to come on back to his house.
Opie doesn’t need our love
Erin: This is a man he left Dopey home alone with for two entire days.
Ellen: It’s Opie. Listen, Ron Howard lost his childhood to this show. I feel uncomfortable busting on him.
Erin: I think he’s okay. He’s had some achievements since then.
Ellen: True. Well, one positive revelation we had is that Don Knotts is freakin’ hilarious.
Erin: Maybe he’s the reason we didn’t puke on our TV trays when we were forced to watch this malarkey.
Barney’s face says, “I’m a comic genius.” Andy just looks mean.
Ellen: So, I’m just going to say it, and I’m probably going to regret it: Erin was right.
Erin: We are standing firm that The Andy Griffith Show is not sacred and is fair game to be ridiculed.
Legal Department: The views expressed in this post are solely those of Ellen and Erin and not those of the entire Sisterhood. There is full expectation that the Girls’ Night Out dog pile will continue in the comment section. Carry on.
while we disagree on The Andy Griffith Show, I am often the most punk rock person in any room.
I have angered many people with my nasty comments about Dirty Dancing, Grease, Forrest Gump, The Bee Gees, The Eagles, Journey, Bon Jovi, and Julia Roberts.
stay strong even if you’re wrong
punkrock forever
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Bon Jovi! How could you? Wait, am I standing in a glass house? Ellen
I don’t think I like any of you anymore. Well, I guess I do agree with Lance on the Julia Robers thing. :0)
I’ll be sure to whistle the theme song next time I see you. Truce? 😉 Ellen
Your conversation here was hysterical. I have been forced to glance or hear reruns of this show for 24 years of marriage. Hubby loves it (his nickname was Opie due to red hair). I’m with you girls on the narrow minded silliness of it all. I live in a very small suburb of Chicago and it is much like this show. Nice at times but very trivial.
No backlash so far!
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I think being from a small town is what sets me up to be annoyed by this show. Ellen
I live in the upstate of SC- and as long as I have lived here (6 years) they have been showing the AG show DAILY from 12:30-1pm, and EVERY Saturday night at 7:30pm. Who knows how long it’s actually been on here.
I will not say my feelings on the matter you have discussed above- but I will say that I find it really, really weird that it is on our regular NBC channel quite so often.
Afraid of raising southern ire? 😉 I’m thinking it has been on your station since 1960. Ellen
Well, I wouldn’t want to do anything drastic! This IS the South ‘Proudly Fighting Terrorists Since 1861″ —> actual bumper sticker I see occasionally.
Oh my. I believe you that it is an actual bumper sticker because how could you make that mess up?? Ellen
I am right with you. The only part of that show I have ever been able to tolerate is the opening whistling. It could be because I hate all shows in black and white and my mother loves them. She also loved Perry Mason- wait was that the law show with Andy Griffith? I never liked him because I thought he was a terrible actor. So I would have proudly stood beside you and said that yes, indeed, that was the worst show ever. Sad that he died and that my mother’s generation has lost another actor she loved to watching growing up, but really, Mayberry is not a place I would ever have wanted to walk through!
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I think we are feeling a little justified now. Matlock is the law show you are thinking of and we thought it would be just too much to pull that into the dog pile. But it too was a pile of dog _____. Ellen
OH YEAH, Perry Mason is the show with Raymond Burr that my mother also loves to watch and I have to flee the premises. All those old shows- just so awful.
Very funny girls! But I still don’t get it?? Erin is as apple pie as you can get – she is the eternal optimist – the girls who loves corny and she hates Andy Griffin?? (Yes, I am the one accusing Erin of spitting on the American flag and apple pie). How could you hate an actor that stared in two wholesome tv shows and was very successful at it? I admit the show was corny(but I love it – thanks for the posting – it has been awhile) especially viewing it 40 years later – but to want to shoot him over it?! Let the debate continue!!
Mary, I totally concede that my comment about shooting him was over the top. I blame the Whisky Sour Slushes. ; ) Erin
LMAO!
I think I will remain non-committal about the show however. W.I.M.P. Absolutely! ;P I used to love that show as a kid and agree I am sure I would have a very different opinion as an adult today.
You two crack me up. 😀
Diane
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The Andy Griffith Show was indeed really dopey. How about writing about the genius that is “Welcome Back Kotter” 🙂
Totally agree. Never liked that show. And the name Opie makes me cringe. I hate that they commandeered it on Sons of Anarchy. Totally different Opie, though.
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I hadn’t even thought of the whole SOA/Opie/AG relationship…That cracks me up considering that the SOA Opie hangs out in a beat-up RV smoking funny cigarettes all day. Snort!
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Yeah, it’s pretty over the top. But I heard something on the radio about how political he became later in life and the work he did on the left and for Obama – so maybe people at your girl’s night out were reacting to that? Or maybe it was just too soon after the 4th to start taking apart American icons…
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No political overtones. Just outrage over the blasphemy of Mayberry. 🙂 Ellen
Thanks Kim. Now that I know they supported the worst president ever, I will never be able to like this show again. Erin should keep a video of the political advertisement they did on her phone. If anyone questions her again, she just needs to play that video for them. It made me do a 180 on the show. Erin, I never considered the show sexist. Aunt B did not have a job, so she took care of the house. I think her introduction to the show has Andy helping her out by letting her stay in his house. Also Andy dated some pretty intelligent women, with careers, on the show. Really Hollywood has never made a show that puts southerners in a good light.
Dear Sisterhood,
As a small town sheriff’s deputy and octogenarian, I am horrendously offended that you would denigrate the national treasure that is “The Andy Griffith Show.” Gone are the days when my wife prepared dinner while I reveled in the nostalgia of a time that I don’t remember ever existing. This is why I have been campaigning to stop teaching women how to read and generally limit women’s access to mass media. Luckily I was able to find a girl who will transcribe my thoughts into the Devil-box and onto the interweb, so that I could properly deride your foolhardy musings.
Sincerely,
Rufus T. Puffenstuff
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My family wants to know what is wrong with me because I am laughing out loud. I really don’t want to get into it. My children don’t need to know my evilness, but I feel guilty denying them your brilliance. Ellen
I tend to hate the things that people love. That’s all I’ll say so no one gets mad at me. But I recall not liking this show as a kid although I can’t remember the last time I watched it. Also, whiskey sour slushies sound amazing.
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I don’t know what it says about me that when I do disagree with conventional wisdom, people get upset with me. My apathy towards Fifty Shades of Grey almost sent one of my longtime friends into a tailspin—she thought I was being difficult. I just didn’t get it. Or like it. Food for thought and maybe fodder for another blog post. Erin
I watched some episodes as a kid. And Guawlyeee I couldnt stand it. Aunt B being so well up in their business. and Dopie… ummm… I mean Opie did he ever have friends?
I did meet Andy Griffith when I was 18 and in the RED Carpet room at the airport. He was there and I said in a rather loud voice… Isnt that Andy Grittith? He looked over and said hi. I was shocked and in awe that I meet a ummm… real live tv star. He was nice. But that show stunk!
XOXO,
Cindy
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My only recollection of the Andy Griffith show was watching a high quality 1970’s After School Special or rerun of Batman or What’s Happening or whatever else used to be on after school growing up, and then that incessant whistling would start and we couldn’t change the channel fast enough.
I still cringe at the theme, so I have to admit I’ve never sat through an episode, but let’s just assume lots of shows from days of yore won’t hold up today. However, I do love me some classic Bewitched reruns.
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I never cared for the Andy Griffith show, even as a kid. And I actually know very little about it since I would always turn the channel whenever it came on.
I’m assuming it was about some whistling boy whose dad was a police officer in some town that didn’t have any paved roads. And didn’t they strike oil at some point and move to Beverly Hills? I mean for god’s sake the thing was in black and white.
Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point recently posted..I Am the Politest, Damnit!
Okay here it is. I’ll see you your hatred of Andy Griffith and raise you this one: I never, ever liked the Seinfeld show. Ever. Mean-spirited and mostly not funny. Or occasionally funny but really, folks? not comic genius, not zeitgeist defining (or if it is, i’d rather it were someone else’s zeit being geisted).
So there.
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I think Andy Griffith was a hottie. There. I said it.
Oh my gosh. I just snorted Diet Coke out of my nose. I like you even more now. Even if I think that’s just nuts. ; ) Erin
Hahha it reminds me of the episode of Family Guy where Peter says he did not care for the Godfather (and even though they’re about to drown, they start dogpiling on him for it).
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Family Guy, now that is a horrible show! Peter’s laugh alone brings me to the brink or was it drink.
Oh was I loling. I never did understand that show. This was such a fun post!! You guys are awesome!
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I am not quite sure how you two managed to pull this post together (I mean I read your post on how you “tandem” your writing… but really… I still don’t get how you manage it.)
Well done. Funny. Good dialog. I’m impressed 🙂
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Thank you. We seemed to have upped the ante on people’s curiosity about how we write. 🙂 The first part of our post is just our organic conversation, boiled down and edited for clarity and the funny. We bounced it back and forth. Then we really did decide to watched the video to see why two groups of people lost their minds over the show. We watched it together at Erin’s house and took notes. We picked out our comments that were relevant and constructed the end of the post. In fact, I typed it in while Erin shouted dialogue to me as she ran around getting ready for her date night with her hubby.
BTW, Erin can get ready and look adorable faster than anyone else I have EVER seen.
Ellen
Ha! Ha! Too funny. What a process! 🙂
Kate F. (@katefineske) recently posted..Capturing the Chaos
Awesome. This was hilarious. I love people who have glaringly different opinions and unafraid to share them.
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It seemed like such a benign subject. 🙂 Ellen
Oh my! I see the show in a whole new light now. Hilarious conversation, glad you recapped it for us.
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You two are funny and adorable. I have no idea what that show is – but I don’t like it either! Hurrah!
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