Do Not Rain On Our Run Parade

Erin and Ellen are planning on thinking about considering signing up for a half marathon.

Ellen: And now we wait.

Erin: For what?

Ellen: For our friends to rain on our run parade.

Erin: Do I get to be Barbara Streisand or do you?

Ellen: Once again,  WHAT are you talking about?

Erin: Your real IQ may be Mensa-worthy, but your pop culture aptitude is a serious cause for concern. Now I’m not only worried about you—I fear for your daughters as well.

Have you really not seen Funny Girl? It is not only one of MY favorite movies of all times—it’s a bona fide, rock solid, true classic. I LOVE me some Fanny Brice.

Ellen: STILL not getting the connection.

Erin: Hellooooo!! The song you referenced? “Don’t Rain On My Parade” is THE song from that movie. Ask any drag queen.

 

Ellen: I’d rather ask a drag queen about Streisand movies than ask our friends what they think about us running a half marathon. Can you say holy-debbie-downer-overreacting-out-of-left-field-dogpile?

Erin: Not three times fast. But our tweeps are so supportive! Seriously, I send one little tweet about lacing up new running shoes and I can barely tear myself away from the computer. It’s a virtual lovefest!

Ellen: Sure, the internet is super supportive. . . until we get our integrity speared by passive aggressive emails or our comments bombed or an icky post dropped onto our Facebook page.

Erin: Oh, yeah, THAT.  But to be fair to our solid three dimensional friends, I think that their two and three cents comes from a deep well of love and, at least in my case, a fair amount of concern.

How could you doubt us? We ooze athleticism!

Ellen: Okay, but I don’t need ANY more negativity worming its way into my head. I myself can’t believe that my legs are going to make the distance. I’ve felt the adrenaline boost of a 5K, but in my day-to-day running it seems far away. My legs always feel like lead.

Erin: What is this adrenaline rush of which you speak? The only 5K I have ever run was for my kids’ school, and while there was a fair amount of dramatic bouncing and surging, in the end it would not qualify as a legit race mostly because my competition was nuns in full habits.

But here is the ugly truth: I hate running. I have to wear two bras, I’m slow, and my hair fights me—viciously. So in the end, my chest hurts, my legs are sore, and I have hair clinging to my eyeball. It is sadism at its best.

They are spry and have God on their side.

Ellen: So maybe our friends are doing us a favor by questioning our abilities to run this race. You certainly haven’t presented a very good case for yourself.

Erin: Hold on a hamstring stretching second! I’m a new woman. This Swimmer Girl has found her inner Runner Girl. I may not be a superstar, but I’m committed. And to quote our girl, Fanny, I am ready to march my band out. I am ready to bang my drum.

Ellen: Okay Fanny, you may need to be committed somewhere because it sounds crazy that you are running at all if you don’t like it. Why are you doing it?

Erin: TV Tag.

Ellen: Are you even going to make me ask you?

Erin: Oh, you don’t remember TV Tag? Google it. Seriously, did we grow up in the same country? The same era? The same DECADE??

Ellen: I KNOW what TV Tag is. I don’t know how this relates to your Chariots of Fire saga.

Erin: I broke my leg in seventh grade playing TV Tag. My competitive streak goaded my athletic ability beyond its limits. I jumped a shrub and the shrub won.

But in all seriousness, that injury changed my life. My ankle has permanent problems, People, the kind that inspires a doctor to prescribe running as the ONLY way to strengthen it.

So here I am today, chugging along, marking my miles, and trying to dispel the myth that running is not my thing.
 Again, don’t tell me not to fly, I’ve simply got to. That’s from Funny Girl, you Cultural Wasteland Refugee. You know, in case you were wondering.

Ellen: Again with the Funny Girl, but here’s my deal: I love to run even though my body rebels. I have osteoarthritis behind my patellas, chronic plantar fasciitis, and an ankle tendon that has been surgically repaired. I try to console myself that each foot strike strengthens my hips. A broken hip can kill you.

Erin: Yikes.You had me osteo, and now I will never look at a flight of stairs the same way again. But if I’m riding the Sadistic Train, you’re the engineer. Why do YOU run?

Ellen: Running makes me feel like an athlete. I was always the smart girl, and while I played sports, it was never really my niche. I was the smart girl on the tennis team, which is a very different category than being the smart tennis player.
I vividly remember wanting to get up and throw on my shoes to jog around the block. But I didn’t feel comfortable doing it. It just wasn’t something my family did.

Erin: So that explains why you force . . .

Ellen: Empower . . .

Erin: Your girls to run a 5K with you each year.

Ellen: As Jellybean (11) puts it, “I can’t even complain about being made to do this because everyone says, ‘Ooo, what a great mother you are for doing this with your kids.’”

Erin: She’ll thank you later. 

Ellen: It might take a couple of decades, like when she hits the “Fifteen After Forty”

Erin: Preach it, Sister. It’s so much like the “Freshman Fifteen”—but without the great skin and rocking social life.

Ellen: Yeah, my mind is not as crystal clear as it was in college either. Running helps to clear it. In a thirty minute run, I work out blog posts, scheduling dilemmas, and parenting challenges.

Erin: And let’s not forget that it just FEELS good to achieve goals. 

Ellen: There are no gold stars for folding laundry.

Erin: There’s not even gratitude, although sometimes the teens will give me an appreciative hug when I finish one of their loads for them. But running is a whole other story.

After I started my 10K training and ran my first five miles in a little under an hour, I was so completely psyched, I felt like I had just won a race. Or that pretty gold star. 

Ellen: You are rocking your training, but you know what has convinced me that we can move running a half marathon from the “Planning On Thinking About Considering” category to the “We WILL Do This” category?

Erin: New shoes? The knowledge that we’re not getting any younger? A lifetime supply of Motrin? Better jogging bras??

Ellen: BATS!

Erin: And you complained that my Funny Girl reference was vague? Even after YOU brought up the song. . .

Ellen: Just listen. I was running the other night at dusk when bats started swooping down from the treetops. My feet ate up the miles as if jet engines had replaced my Asics. I had forgotten what adrenaline felt like. It felt like success.

Erin:Well, now all I need to do is find us a nighttime marathon, a threat of deadly disease, or some impending apocalyptic disaster to make your running dream come true.

Ellen: OUR dream. We can do this. Together.

Erin (singing): “Get ready for me love, ’cause I’m a “comer”/I simply gotta march, my heart’s a drummer/Nobody, no, nobody, is gonna rain on our parade!

Ellen: Good grief! Maybe we’ll just high-five each other at the finish line.

Would it be awkward to do this after crossing the finish line?

 

And of course we’ve found some help on the interwebz.

Ellen swears by the Chi Running technique to reduce pain and injury.

Erin has gotten her training groove on at Marathon Rookie.

 

But if you need a little inspiration beyond two 40 somethings hauling their butts over 13.1 miles and the comic relief that might provide, here’s a little ebook Britely to help give you a boost. Go ahead and flip through it, it won’t take you away from this site. Watch out for the zombies!

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19 thoughts on “Do Not Rain On Our Run Parade

  1. Teri

    I am a 45 y/o mom of 2, I am at least 35-40 lbs overweight and in the past 3 years I have completed 2 full marathons, at least 10 half marathons and just last weekend I finished a 10 Mile Tough Mudder. If I can do that and not die, I have every confidence that the two of you can do it no problem! Keep this in mind as well, there are some half marathons that will let you do the run as a relay, so one of you runs 6.55 and the other run 6.55 and you meet up at the end and sit on the ground and have your picture taken feet to feet! 🙂

    Good luck and keep us posted.
    Teri
    Snarkfest
    Teri recently posted..Four Plus an AngelMy Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      You are an inspiration! Thank you for sharing that.

      Probably the only way we could take that picture with our feet together at the end of a race would be if we ran it as a relay. 🙂 I’m thinking after 13 miles, I’m not lifting my feet above my head. I’ll probably need to be carried to the car. Ellen

      Reply
  2. Farrah

    Why would anyone doubt you!?! I say go for it!!!! I’d totally sign up too but… I’m allergic to running.

    Go for it and I will cheer you on! Maybe Ill even be your personal water girl?
    Side note: Greta guest posted for me today and wrote about this very thing- she’s now in the best shape she’s ever been in- so if you need some inspiration….

    Reply
    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      So do you just get the rash or do you also have trouble breathing? 🙂

      I think a personal water girl is exactly what we need. We already published this post to assure that our pride won’t let us back out.

      Can’t wait to read what Greta has to say.

      Ellen

      Reply
  3. Kyla

    Can’t believe that I missed the taking of these photos. I love them all! I am not sure I could pick a favorite. You guys are too funny. You can do anything you decide you want to do…it might hurt like nobody’s business, but you can do it!!!

    Reply
    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      What you have is an excuse for a shopping spree. Do the marathon if you can! Do it now! I’m at the point now that I fear I would be crippled if I did 26.2. I’m going to check up on you! Ellen

      Reply
  4. deborah l quinn

    Dear Babs I & II, your kids *will* thank you later for showing them that “active”= “fun”, even as they move through the perpetually rainy teen years when your every breath makes them wince.
    I started running (sloooooowly) a few months ago & I sort of love the endorphin rush I get, but now I have a weird hurt foot & a weird achey shoulder and a body that seems somehow to know that it’s almost fifty & that the warranty on EVERYTHING is running out. What is this “chi running” thing & do I have to pay for it? Can’t you just give us a luverly blog post where you don’t mention it by name, bzackly, but explain it anyway? And wd it be wrong to run attached to an IV drip of ibuprofen & tiger balm? All of which is to say GO FOR IT.
    deborah l quinn recently posted..the things they carried (with thanks to Tim O’Brien)My Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      I love Babs I & II! I guess Erin gets to be “one” since she like, knows the movie and all. And the songs. That she won’t stop singing.

      I have found that whether I’m running or inactive, there is still pain. I think if I did not keep moving, I would curl up into a muscle/tendon-knotted-Jazzy-riding mess. My orthopod says my connective tissue is not as good as that of the average person. Official diagnosis.

      Chi Running is basically a technique for keeping your body weight centered and for encouraging a posture for mid-sole foot strikes. Banishes heel strikes! I learned it from the ChiRunning book I got from the library. They have DVDs and seminars, too. My husband and I went to an afternoon clinic in D.C. and had hands on training. I found I was using the techniques I read about correctly. We mostly went for my husband, whom I know would not read the books or even watch the DVD, but desperately needed it for his knees. I just hopped over to their website and they indicate they even have press packages for working with bloggers. I really do recommend this technique, so I’m going to put that on my list of things to do.

      Another piece of advice since I feel like you are semi-soliciting it (you at least cracked the door and really, that is all of the go-ahead I need), is to strengthen your core with Pilates type exercises. A strong core goes a long way in helping and correcting hip, knee, and foot pain. Also, don’t let that foot pain go undiagnosed for too long if it is persistent. The fix could be as simple as a new pair of shoes.

      BTW, I have Nike on the line right now about marketing your IV drip. They think it is brilliant, but I put them on hold so that I could answer you. I’ll see if they’ll send you a gift card or something when I work out my contract.

      Ellen

      Reply
  5. Mary

    Go girls! You can do this!! I will be cheering you every step of the way! I tried the running thing last year and just hated it. And I know the songs to just about every musical! My proudest achievement was beating two nuns in full habits across the finished line by a mear 15 seconds for my son’s 5K. Once I achieved that I hung up my running shoes. Now when my daught runs I biked behind her yelling all sorts of great advice that she just loves! When is this half marathon? I can’t wait to cheer you on! You can do this and I will be running vicarously through you. That has got to motivate you to run like the zombies are chasing you!

    Reply
  6. thedoseofreality

    Because you guys inspire me and because I am totally not going to be a dreamcrusher, I say bravo. You just run and run and run! Meanwhile, I will be at home, not running. Maybe I channel your running and be physically fit through osmosis. Perhaps I will slowly jog to the mailbox later just to give you a confidence boost.
    No parade raining around here! 😉
    thedoseofreality recently posted..Open Letter To Jessica Simpson…AgainMy Profile

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