The 12 Days Post-Partum

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This week on Monday Listicles, we are supposed to talk about music—holiday songs, songs we love, songs we hate, etc. Here in The Sisterhood we are of two minds about Christmas songs. All that rocking around the Christmas tree curls Ellen’s toes but warms Erin’s heart, so writing a post about Christmas music was going to be—how shall we say this diplomatically—tricky. And because it’s Christmas and we are both procrastinators and busy, we don’t really have time to duke it out properly—you know, with jingle bells and a peppermint stick.

Delicious, delectable, and deadly. You’ve been warned.

But we are also girls who can’t back away from a challenge,and when not one, not two, but three lovely fellow bloggers are asking you to play, well, you do what you gotta do—you play. Because of our aforementioned issues, we cannot really talk about holiday music, so we are gonna sing, or rather, make a song just for you. We did mention that we are available for all your party needs here, so you should probably have seen this coming.

Anyway, there is a whole songbook of classic Christmas carols that we could have chosen, but none will burrow more furiously into your cerebral cortex than that original dirty dozen— The 12 Days of Christmas.

This creepy Lord A-leaping might also sneak into your thoughts now too.

Like any good artists, we then mined our collective histories for some humor to inspire our writing. We put on our Adam Sandler hats and rocked this puppy, Sisterhood-style. Without further ado . . .

The 12 Days Post-Partum

On the first day postpartum, my wee babe gave to me a huge giant pain in the rear.

 

On the second day postpartum, my wee babe gave to me two nipples cracking.

 

Buy me by the bucketful. Steal the free sample from your roommate. This stuff is the ONLY stuff that will make you feel better!

On the third day postpartum, my wee babe gave to me three giant spit-ups.

 

On the fourth day postpartum, my wee babe gave to me four nervous breakdowns.

 

A couple days without sleep and you will be transformed.

On the fifth day postpartum, my wee babe gave to me five explosive diapers.

 

On the sixth day postpartum, my wee babe gave to me six nights with no sleeping.

 

On the seventh day postpartum my wee babe gave to me seven toddlers sneezing…at the first pediatrician check-up.

 

On the eighth day postpartum, my wee babe gave to me 8 outfits changing.

 

On the ninth day postpartum, my wee babe gave to me 9 hormonal zits a-poppin.’

 

On the tenth day postpartum,  my wee babe gave to me 10 pounds still in need a-goin.’

 

On the eleventh day postpartum, my wee babe gave to me 11 loads a-washing.

 

On the twelfth day postpartum, my wee babe gave to me 12 more reasons to love someone I didn’t think I could love much more.

Here’s a homemade ornament Erin made of newborn Ace in a post-baby economy. As you can see, she was not lying when she said that she is NOT crafty. But isn’t he a cutie??

In the end, we  both survived and had more kids, but that first post-partum period did leave an impression. If you are in the trenches now, have a very merry first Christmas with your wee one and know that this too shall pass. Some day you might even write a song of your own about it.

Thanks again to Stasha at Monday Listicles for a place to show off our song-writing talent (people hardly ask us to perform any more. . .hmmmm), but also to Rachee and her sister Mrs.RKFJ for their idea to write about 10 Holiday songs. Stephanie at Mommy, For Real added to the Christmas party fun with her idea 10 Songs We Love, Hate, or Love to Hate. While you are here, you might as well check them all out. They might inspire you to write your own song. Or maybe we did. Have a rocking Christmas!—Erin and Ellen

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24 thoughts on “The 12 Days Post-Partum”

  5. Bee

    I can’t imagine having depression while having to deal with a newborn at the same time. I admire women who can do it. I have depression and don’t have kids, and I can barely take care of myself some days. I’m so glad you were able to find the humor in your experience in retrospect. You’re right — this too shall pass. And thanks for leaving that image of the creepy lord a-leaping in my head. 😉
    Bee recently posted..10 Songs I LoveMy Profile

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  7. christine

    Hold the heck up. Ellen doesn’t like Christmas music? None? Sure there’s some bad stuff out there, but wow. None?
    As for your list, clever as always. Lansinoh saved my life that first go-round, and I wish it would have only been three spit-ups. He was more of a three per minute kind of kid.
    christine recently posted..Christmas Card 2012My Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      I can’t speak for Ellen. There MAY be some songs she likes, but she also had a rather stressful experience with them at a massage that kind of ruined them for her. Erin

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  16. Pingback: 10 Christmas Ornament Memories | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

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