Erin: There are two types of people in this world—those who love Downton Abbey and those who haven’t seen it yet.

Ellen: Well, if you’re going to lay it down like that, I have a gold card membership for the second category.

Erin: Seriously? What are you waiting for? This series has won Golden Globes, Emmys—even a mention in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Ellen: Just haven’t gotten around to it yet. My DVR is already so stuffed it’s groaning. I still have all of those old Ellen episodes I have yet to watch.

Erin:  Well, pull out that teapot, butter some scones, and erase some of those old X Factors! People from Dubai to Delhi to Downingshire are lovin’ Downton. Cute boy bands aren’t the only British exports worth checking out.

Ellen:  You know I love my One Direction, but I’m willing to broaden my horizons.

Ellen and the Boys at Christmas

Erin:   And you will LOVE this series!! Downton Abbey takes place in the Great House of the same name. There, the aristocratic Crawley family live and work and carry on like only gentrified folk can in the English countryside.

Ellen: How “Great” are we talking about here?

Erin: Just know that when I say great house, I don’t mean it like “hey, great house!” but like “wow, this house is like a city block”. 

Ellen: I’m interested. Go on.

Erin: Anyway, Lord Robert and Lady Cora, the Earl and Countess of Grantham, live there with their three daughters — Lady Mary (the smart, pretty, self-centered one), Lady Edith (the plain, snarky, kinda bitter one), and Lady Sybill (another pretty one who’s kind, forward-thinking, and a great foil for lots of plot lines during this period of change).  Oh, and there’s the Dowager Countess Lady Violet, Lord Grantham’s mother and the grand dame of Downton—she causes all kinds of delicious trouble as she passes judgement on them all . 

Ellen: You’re kind of losing me. I’m going to make a graph.

Feel free to comment about the chart

Erin: If a graph is what it takes, then whatever. We’re moving on, try to stick with me. They are the “upstairs” people. Everyone else—the footmen, chauffeurs, valets, maids, cooks, butlers, etcetera (remember what I said about that city block)—they’re the “downstairs” people, and they live out whole lives in service to this family.

The drama comes from the look behind the curtain at the Great House. Nothing’s more fun than snooping around someone’s house and getting to see their secrets.

Ellen: Remind me to constantly supervise you when you’re in my house. It all sounds like Jerry Springer with crumpets and chamomile tea, which is kind of hard to reconcile with headlines like this:

There aren’t even subtitles. Geesh.

If you don’t love this woman, then you probably hate bunnies and rainbows, too, and there is no hope for you.

Erin: Don’t let that headline fool you! This series is a wicked good time. Not like just an English good time either, but like a full American good time except with, you know, tea.

Ellen: And by the way, I see  Professor McGonagall in that picture. You should have led off by telling me Maggie Smith stars in it because that right there is a selling point.

Erin: Maggie Smith is the Dowager Countess Lady Violet! I’m going to get to her in a minute. But I know you are not so easily swayed so I am going to give you a full-on, air-tight, rock-solid argument for. . .

Why You Just Need to Drink the Downton Abbey Kool-Aid and Get on With It, Already!

1. Pretty People in Pretty Clothes

An antidote to the Wal-Mart phenomenon, this show has gorgeous people all prettied up and ready for a night on the town, or in this case, the Abbey. The Crawleys dress for dinner every night. Like white-tie dress. Like full-length gown dress. Like the downstairs people dress them with cufflinks and bedeck them with jewels. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.  It’s people as set-pieces, but it’s impossible to turn away. Another bonus? This double shot of chiffon just might erase all visions of jeggings from your head.

It’s also sexy as hell. Get some hotties, put them in some spectacular duds, and sprinkle them with a healthy dose of buttoned-up British longing and you have the recipe for a little heart-pounding. You won’t be able to see a Derby hat again without blushing.

2. The Young and The Restless: UK Style

And speaking of sexy. While it may not be your Momma’s soap opera, Downton does bring a healthy dose of melodrama to the small screen. The plots, the subplots, the back-stabbing, and the conniving! While not exactly The Real Housewives of Yorkshire, there is sex, drugs, and even death—including a murder. Oh, the scandal! Oh, the intrigue! Oh, the ridiculous fun for you!

The series opens when the family receives news of the sinking of the Titanic for cripes’ sake! Is there an American alive who isn’t enthralled with the Titanic? To jumpstart the series with an ode to the tragic story that mirrors the class struggles inside Downton itself— it’s bloody brilliant, I tell ya!

3. Scrumptiousness

The gorgeous lighting, the layered scripts, the beautiful people—the very scrumptiousness of it all is a big part of what makes it great. You just want to go there—to that place, to that time, to that big, beautiful, old Great House, and hang out awhile. Like every Sunday evening for as long as the series holds out.

Ellen: You lost me again.

This is a show that’s in love with its set and its prop pieces and is not afraid to show it. A footman will deliver a letter on a silver tray, but the music will swell as the camera closes in on the details of the gloved hand holding the tray and you will follow eagerly until that letter reaches its destination. It’s a letter, by jiminy, not the Magna Carta! But this is part of what makes Downton different and special—the little things in life writ large. The whole opening sequence is a love letter of its own to this bygone era. It’s a great metaphor for what is being lost as the world changes and modernizes, and you’ll yearn for those old days too as you savor these moments.

4. It’s a Spoonful of Sugar

Alright, I know I just said that you should ignore the headlines above, but you DO get a healthy dose of some early twentieth century world history.  And because of all the pretty people, it goes down smooth as a cup of Earl Grey.

It’s like a British Schoolhouse Rock. Except there’re no jingles. And no cheesy cartoons. Just tea. And lots of hats.

5. Maggie Smith

The Grand Dame Herself. This woman is a living testament to the best things about the British Empire—she’s practically Marmite on toast (Yeah, that’s a real British treat. Ask Erin’s brother-in-law and sister-in-law who lived in Cambridge.). But in case you need a more compelling argument, let me just say that her character, the Dowager Countess Lady Violet, gets all the best lines. Hard to pick my favorite honestly, but I love this one from the Season 2 opener in reference to the arrival of the Crawley’s American grandmother played by Shirley McClain:

Violet: When I’m with her, I’m reminded of the virtues of the English.
Matthew: Isn’t she American?
Violet: Exactly.

She’s a bloody good time, that one!

6. It’s Quotable!

We don’t just love to quote movies. We like our TV to give us some lines to get us through the day, too. This series does not disappoint. See the example above.

7. Double, Double, Toil, and Trouble

Oh, the fabulous Crawley sisters!  Half the time,  you will want to stuff ’em in a bag and let ’em claw it out, but you will never be bored by these sisters. Their realistic portrayal of the ties that bind and sometimes gag are part of the appeal. They expose the healthy, sometimes hateful, heartbeat beneath the staid but lovely exterior of the aristocracy. But make no mistake, these ladies are complex.

8. Fascinators, Hats, and Gloves, Oh My!

Yeah, the clothes are awesome. Enough said.

Check out our fascinators! For you Downton newbies, they are our hair jewelry!

9. Jimmy Fallon Spoofs It So It Must Be Good

Erin: Ok, if everything above won’t sway you, here’s something you can definitely relate to.

Ellen:  Well, if it’s good enough for Jimmy Fallon. . .

10. It Makes Going to Tea with Your 21st Century Girlfriends Totally Cool

Hands down the best reason of all! Downton Abbey High Tea with two of our buddies from The Sisterhood, Nicole and Mary, was a highlight of my new year. I am so sorry that you were too sick to go (Readers, you can tell her how much it sucks that she couldn’t come in the comments. She is still a little sad about the whole thing.) We would have taken you. Honestly. We just couldn’t find a Hazmat suit or a stretcher in time.

High Tea—Downton-style

Erin finally had a place to take her hat! Doesn’t she look like she just stepped out of the 1920s??

Ellen: I could have worn a SARS mask to the tea if you all weren’t such wimps. I do have to say you have presented a nice argument . . .  even if I did have to make the chart for you. You’ve convinced me to watch, now get me started.

Erin: Hold your fascinator, you’re the only one who needed the chart. I own seasons 1 and 2 on DVD. We could catch you up in one weekend marathon. For as Lady Cora said  in the season 3 opener,

“There is nothing more tiring than waiting for something to happen.”