Ode to Sour Patch Kids

Sometimes it’s embarrassing to love something, but the heart wants what the heart wants and my heart wants . . .

Sour Patch Kids

This is not just a passing fancy. I have had dreams about them. One year, I gave them up for Lent and started obsessing about them hard core. I was one step away from Taylor Swift-ing a lost love ballad to them. The low point? I wish.

After nearly forty years of perfect dental hygiene,  I thought they were responsible for my first cavity. Luckily, it was not the dire situation I had feared, but I knew I was in deep at that point. So deep in fact that I have been known to refer to them as the ultimate new hipster crack. Once, when we read about a big drug bust in Baltimore, I actually told Steve they were probably bringing drugs into the city through the Sour Patch Kids.

It’s a love song gone all wrong, but I just can’t walk away. So I will do what all people head over heels do: I’ll pen a little poem to them. Just in time for Valentine’s Day. So here, in 57 words . . .

My Ode to The Kids of the Patch that is Sour

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee when thy flavor puckers my lips and furrows my brow.

I love thee freely, as my hand scoops thee from thy garish bag.

I love thee purely, as only an addict can.

And I shall but love thee better after the bag is refilled.

Ode to Sour Patch Kids - One woman's love story is your hilarious tale of humor.  Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 -Erin

 

 

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18 thoughts on “Ode to Sour Patch Kids

  1. Mel

    I was just telling people to vote for you on my new post tonight, too!! 🙂

    Thank you so much for the kind words. I can’t stop laughing because honestly, I’ve gone through 11 bags of those Cadbury Mini Christmas Balls since Christmas. So, fist bump, sistah. I’m owning up to my addiction, too. 🙂

    THANK YOU for writing a post especially for us. Next one is coming up in a few days. The day that my husband is taking me to see the new Die Hard movie. When he asked what I wanted for Valentine’s Day, I told him I wanted three things, “Babysitter, BIG Cherry Coke with ice, DIE HARD!” 🙂
    Mel recently posted..TODAY’S POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER ‘R’My Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      I remember one time on vacation my friend’s grandmother decided to try a Sour Patch Kid because we were chowing down so happily. Then the poor sweet little ole lady said, “Oh good Lord, these are awful!” I really do love them though. Erin

      Reply
  2. Jeneral Insanity

    I thought I was alone! Thank you SO MUCH for bringing this addiction into the light. I haven’t bought those things in almost a year because the last time I did – I couldn’t stop eating them! My mouth was so torn up and sore from rubbing those little sour men on the roof of my mouth. It hurt so bad, but tasted so good!
    Jeneral Insanity recently posted..Ooh … chocolate!My Profile

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