Being a mom is like being a superhero. We’re the secret do-gooders who save the world, or at least our little corners of it. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s a whirling dervish of a phenom who can get mess done! But unlike Superman and his silly glasses, our disguises are foolproof —we wrap ourselves in the invisibility cloaks of the mundane. We are so good at flying under the radar that we NEVER get credit for our awesomeness.
Well, that changes today! We are giving credit where credit is due. Are we blowing our covers by revealing our secrets? Don’t insult us. We also emit a mysterious aura that wipes the minds around us as clean as slates. No matter how many times we perform a superpower, they can never remember how we did it. Our jobs are safe, whether we like it or not.
1. Finding All Things Missing
We think there must be a locator sensor that activates on the X chromosome once women have kids. What else could explain how we are the only ones who can see the “lost” notebooks that are three inches from our kids’ noses? Of course there might be one or two times that our superpowers slip. Seems that locator sensor is fighting a daily battle with Mom Brain. Every good super hero needs a nemesis and Mom Brain is ours.
*Our Kryptonite*
We’re just going to be upfront with this. In addition to a nemesis, every superhero needs a weakness, every Achilles needs a heel. Missing Socks is ours. Our locator beacons are rendered powerless against them.
Damn you missing socks! We’ll defeat you one day!
2. Speaking in Frequencies Only Dolphins Can Hear
What else could explain that despite us nagging our kids to pick up towels one million times plus four, they STILL leave them on the floor giving mildew a place to party?
Dolphins listen to Ellen. Why can’t her kids?
3. Super Sonic Hearing
Yes we can hear a jar of paint being opened on the new carpet in the basement while we’re upstairs folding clothes and talking on the phone. Save yourselves some time, Kids, and stop trying to foil us. You’re no Missing Socks. You’ll never achieve that level of craftiness.
4. Multi-Tasking Marvels
You think Flash Gordon is a blur? Pfft. Watch a mom cook dinner, fold clothes, apply bandages, break up fights, and create zombies in a single swoosh. She’ll even manage to keep the Hello Kitty Band-Aids out of the chicken soup.
5. Chow Time Champions
Speaking of chicken soup . . . Ok, we hear you saying, “Wait, not all moms bake or cook.” Ah ha, those are are the women who were brilliant enough to keep their superpowers completely hidden. We can assure you those women are take-out ninjas or slick enough to have partners who can wield spatulas like maestros. But if they ever want to let their invisibility cloaks slip to reveal those cooking powers, here are a couple of super easy recipes that will make it worth their whiles.
Some Kind Of Awesome Creamy Chicken Salsa Soup
Yum. Soup. It’s What’s For Dinner.
Healthy French Country Crockpot Chicken
6. School Project Warriors
We would never do our kids’ homework because we’re superheroes, not super-dummies. But papier-mâché and Rube Goldbergs just don’t happen without some guidance. And some superhero patience.
Clucking Adorable
7. Travel Triumphants
We wish we could teleport, but our theory is that in evolutionary terms, teleportation and locator powers could not exist in the same person. Our ancestors melted from the awesomeness and only the locator sensor survived. While we weep ourselves to sleep at night because teleportation was a victim to natural selection, we can rustle up one hell of a car pool.
Source: sisterhoodofthesensiblemoms.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
Mom superpowers are not generic. Think of each mother as part of a Justice League of Estrogen where every woman has her own special skill set. For example . . .
8. Erin Deploys Diplomacy Like a Diva
No one can smooth ruffled feathers better than Erin . . . except when she doesn’t. Uh oh, there’s another kryptonite for Erin—Andy Griffith. Don’t tell Mom Brain or she might collaborate with him to set up a trap.
9. Ellen Calms the Savage Beasts with Cakes
When we say savage beasts we mean hopped-up kids at birthday parties, but it’s really the same thing. Potato, puh-ta-toe. Tomato, little heathens smashing your ceiling fan like a pinata. It’s just a matter of pronunciation.
The mud is actually delicious fudge. In case you were worried.
Source: sisterhoodofthesensiblemoms.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
What is your unique Superpower? Tell us in the comments.
-Ellen and Erin
Oh good grief a super power?? Calming my fussy grandson.. I tell my son it is because I have boobs. I can curl his little tummy around them, pat his butt, and hold his hand all at the same time. Yeah I am awesome like that, have him out in like 2.3 seconds. Of course my kids forget I could put them to sleep with a simple poem I made up ON THE SPOT cause I am that good one night when bedtime was being pushed to the limit. monotone voice and visualization and they were GONE…
Southern Angel recently posted..Write from the heart, that’s my niche
You are a poetry ninja! Ellen
Multi-tasking…as the one female in a house of five, I can definitely say that I have that superpower more than anyone else. If you don’t count my 16-year-old doing homework while listening to music and watching a TV show at the same time, that is. As for my husband, he has such good powers of concentration that he can handle only one thing at a time!
Marie recently posted..10 things I’ve done that made me feel like a superhero
Does that mean we have bad powers of concentration? 😉 Ellen
Multitasking is something which I certainly hone since the kids came along. Cooking + monitoring their work + answering work e-mails all at the same time 🙂
Dominique Goh recently posted..Piano Performances on a Monday
You have earned your cape! Ellen
I too have the superpower to find all things missing, unless they are my own things. And I have a bag of lonely socks too!
Dana recently posted..With Age Comes Superhero Powers
Blast you Mom Brain! Ellen
That paper maiche chicken could rival Beyonce the chicken, I am just saying. Love the cake, too! Impressive!-The Dose Girls
thedoseofreality recently posted..I Peed Alone In The Nation’s Capitol
It would be epic if the the chicken and the flamingo cake had coexisted, right? Ellen
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! YOu too always crack me up. I forgot about super sonic hearing- true that! And go Ellen on the flamingo- adorable!!!
Kerry B recently posted..Ten Reasons I’m a Superhero
I just realized that I, too, have the locator ability and super hearing. I think your theory about the X chromosome is sound. 🙂
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..The Adventures of Co-Pilot Mom *POW*
Haha, finding was one of my powers, too!
Robin Jingjit recently posted..Bring on Songkran
Socks are my kryptonite too! I hate them. Right now, they reside in a giant pile which must be sorted through in order to wear them. I’m going for the “if they fit my feet, they match” look. Great superpower list! Moms are awesome!
Stacey recently posted..Super
Super sonic hearing, heightened sense of spell, x-ray vision to see into my children’s hearts. Yeah, I have mompowers.
Ginger Kay recently posted..The inalienable right of the teenage girl to feel misunderstood.
Those dreaded missing socks!!!
Wayne recently posted..A Superhero Level Listicles…
I’m glad you have your kryptonite or I would’ve had to hate you! Also, can’t wait to try that crockpot chicken!
BonnyBard recently posted..The Hot to Trot Monday Listicle
It’s so good. It is one of the first recipes Ellen shared with me, and it made me realize I had to move her from cool acquaintance to lifelong friend. Erin
I threatened my son that I would make a wreath out of all the single socks and that it would be prominently displayed on the front door of his bedroom for all his friends (as well as Grandma and Grandpa) to see. Of course he called my bluff and I panicked because crafty I ain’t. But when he saw me attempting to wield a needle, thread, and a round Styrofoam thingamabob, he caved. And by caved, I mean he moved the couch, my husband’s recliner, his bed and other assorted pieces of furniture. Seems that my son can’t just remove a sock, he has to fling it across the room with the might of Edward Cullen. If only all my parenting issues could be solved with needle, thread and a Styrofoam thingamabob.
Mom Rants and Comfy Pants recently posted..I’ll Take My Cheese with a Side of Dirt Please!
This line right here is why I love you both so much. I love the whole post, but, THIS: “we wrap ourselves in the invisibility cloaks of the mundane.” Amen.
Bethany @ Bad Parenting Moments recently posted..Something sticky this way comes.
I think I will take teleportation over locator power.
because I am quite tired of searching for lost things.
and you know, cold Canada to warm Cuba in 2.2 seconds.
SUPER!
Rorybore recently posted..Monday Listicles: Watch the Cape!!
Man, I’m drawing a blank as to what I even put on my list. I’ve got that hearing superpower…especially when I hear nothing. Then I KNOW there’s something going on. Great list! That flamingo cake is awesome!
Kate Hall recently posted..10 Superpowers Moms Have
Ellen’s cakes look AND taste great! That’s one of my favorites too! Erin
This is brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
I think mine is making a meal out of half a carrot and some moldy cheese.
xoxo Jane
nothingbythebook recently posted..Emotional Eight
WOW! You win. ; ) Erin
You’ve nailed the usual suspects in terms of superpowers. I guess I would add (since I have a baby) “ability to string a coherent sentence together on 3 non-consecutive hours of sleep.”
BTW- that cake is incredible!!
Kim at Mama Mzungu recently posted..Boob man no more? Emmet discovers milk.
Love your list! My kids are surprised everytime by #3… “how did you know??”
My super power? I was recently told that I can encourage people so well that they don’t even realize that I’ve cured them of a bad habit. Sounds weird? I know. I looked at a friend so confused that she had to explian. “You can encourage m to fix how I react to my husband’s behavior in a way that I don’t even realize that you are calliing me out for acting like a jerk. I just leave our coffee date with a new way to handle my husband.” I found that complimentary… I think it was a compliment?
i once heard a speaker say that we are mere years away from scientists discovering that a mother’s uterus is actually a homing device. If you give birth the them, you can find all their missing stuff;)
vicky
http://www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com
Vicky recently posted..I’m an excellent driver
These are all awesome, but nothing beats #3 – “You’re no Missing Socks” is the b-e-s-t!
hollow tree ventures recently posted..Excuse me while I powder my nose.
Absolutely perfect! My power is being able to do all of this while working full time and finding time to crawl around playing cars with my son. Whew!
Jessica recently posted..[9/365] On My Table
Mine is Last Minute Memory. I may be poorly organized, but I almost always get permission forms to school on time, even if I drive them there myself.
Oh, the damn socks. I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I’ve got the hearing, that’s for sure. That chicken IS clucking adorable, and that cake is effing awesome.
Adrienn recently posted..Garbage Wars
That cake is so impressive.
I am the locator of allthethings in this household. Seriously, Husband, do you look before you ask me?
(answer: no)
Alison recently posted..On Writing
Okay, superpower extraordinaire…how’s this…. I can make my husband, daughter, and son smile in their extreme grumbles state.
I know their tickle weakness and I can tickle them without even touching them. I just wiggle my finger, it even works over the phone!!
Also, somewhere on my path of life I learned how to ‘realign your chakras’. *spoiler alert* It is simply taking your finger and slowly moving it up the front of a person without touching them from their belly button to their chin. Guaranteed smile (but it only works if you believe, kinda like Santa lol) this too works over the phone. It’s true!
It’s a fun party trick and doesn’t make me really popular when they want to stay grumpy especially with me. But I can live with that!