10 Things A New Mom Should Do (Besides Sleep)

Erin recently attended the cutest baby shower ever. The adorableness was off the charts, even with the games. You know how we love those!

shower collage

Erin might have throat-punched someone who tried to measure her at the end of her pregnancy. But then she wasn’t this cute pregnant.

bouquet of onesies

Seriously, could the Mom-to-Be be any cuter?? And that’s a bouquet of onesies, baby towels, and washcloths she’s holding! Genius.

  And all the merry-making brought us priceless moments like this one.

moments

Nothing says “I Love you” like smelling fake baby shizz for you.

And the hostess had lots of beautiful touches that really made the shower super special.

tree collage

That’s a tree of good advice and wishes, a fabulous diaper cake, and an awesome baby stuck in a cake.

But Erin’s favorite touch was definitely the tree. It contained gems like this one from her sister-in-law, Kim.

sharpie

It definitely made us both a little nostalgic for the old days of new baby smell, fuzzy blankies, and adorable onesies. We both have our oldest “babies” in high school now. Time has marched on, taught us a few things, and even had its way with us.

Time has also dealt us a healthy dose of perspective. If we were to go back in time and meet our younger selves, these are some of the things we would definitely tell them to do now. Consider it our contribution to the tree of good advice and well wishes.

ten things

1. Chill out. Looking back at how worked up we could get about certain things (milestone meeting, potty-training, and early school stuff), we cringe for our younger  selves. Time has taught us that babies who walked at 8 months don’t look any different than those who first walked at 15 months when they are entering kindergarten. We could have used a nice telephoto lens into the future back then. . . or a back rub and a glass of wine.

2. Trust the Momma instincts. We second-guessed ourselves a lot back then. Time has proven that our gut instincts where our kids are concerned are dead on. Erin truly didn’t learn this lesson until her 4th child was born. Something was just “off” with him, and she was worried—that deep, sick-in-your-stomach, can-barely-say-the-words-aloud kind of scared—about what could be wrong.

So she burst into the doctor’s office at his one year check-up, held her head up, and laid out her case. And, wonder of wonders, this beautiful doctor did not dismiss any of her concerns. As it turned out, Erin’s baby had really, really poor eyesight correctable with glasses.

Erin: From the moment that baby held my face in his hands when he finally saw me through his new glasses, I have been a new mom. I would love to hug the younger me and tell her just how smart and capable she was.

3. Read Mom Blogs. Erin’s first baby was born in 1997, and Ellen’s the next summer. We barely did email back then. The online support and verification that our kids were NOT, despite all the evidence we were amassing, the spawn of Satan would have been extremely helpful and comforting. The lovely network of mothers supporting and encouraging one another through this big adventure would have been oh so welcome. . .

4. Find a Flock. . . . As was the very real, very supportive network we found in our local MOMS Club. Finding another mom that is right with you on the road is so important—birds of a feather and all that. You can all muddle through this parent thing together. And misery DOES love company.

5. Put Away the Parenting Books. We are both readers so it was natural for us to go there, but the conflicting advice and the nagging sense that we weren’t “one size fits all” kind of parents left us feeling a little lost.

Erin: Again, time proved that my inclinations were just fine, but the fact that I was “a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll” fueled my early mom insecurities. Now, I would read less parenting books and watch some more crappy TV.

6. Play, Play, Play. We played a lot with our kids, but this easy time with toys and silliness is over way too soon. Savor every minute.

7. Get a Decent Haircut. Ellen somehow knew this from day one.

Ellen: It’s a curly-hair thing.

Erin: I couldawouldashoulda have taken a little more time for me from the very beginning. I had 3 kids in 3 years, and my needs were deadlast in every equation. Looking back, this was a mistake in every respect. I let my family consume me, and it showed. Once I decided to take some time for me and scheduled some time for that decent haircut, I also developed the confidence that I was on the right track.

8. Write Down All the Funny Things Our Kids Said. We have always been fairly decent recorder of our kids’ lives. Erin even tried scrapbooking for awhile until Baby #4  came along. But we both wish, wish, WISH that we had kept a notebook with us at all times and gotten every last scrap of adorable and funny. Kids get big and beautiful and strong and competent, but they definitely lose their cute factor and you miss it when it’s gone. It would be nice to have every last morsel to savor when those days are behind you.

9. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!

Erin: I had a honeymoon baby nine months after I moved to Maine. I had a few people I knew from work, but no real support network AT ALL. This is something I would definitely insist upon doing now. I would definitely take Ellen’s advice to get a babysitter at least twice a month so my husband and I could have a break simultaneously.

Ellen: Without the drudgery of the kids strangling you both, you can remember why you brought them into this world and discover that you do still like each other.  This is a suggestion that usually draws a lot of protest from new moms, but I can’t stress its importance enough.  Maybe I could convince everyone that it is easier than a mental breakdown?”

Amen, Sister!

10. Appreciate the moment. It seems silly to explain this one, but ssssssllllllloooooowwwww down.  Breathe in their little baby smells until you can’t NOT smell them.

Ellen once said that mothering infants and toddlers was the hardest thing she ever did, and she did time in a trauma center.  Stay strong, Sisters. They’ll be teenagers before you know it. Sniff. Sniff.

-Erin and Ellen

What would you add to the tree? What would you say to a younger mom? Your younger self?

 

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