If You Give a Girl Some Downton, She's Gonna Want a Party to Go With It

I have said it before but it bears repeating: There are two types of people in this world—those who love Downton Abbey and those who haven’t seen it yet. For those of us who have seen it, the only big negative to the show is waiting for a new season to come around again. It makes that nine months gestation feel like nothing even minus the cankles and extra weight gain. But now that we are back in that glorious season again (Do you hear the birds chirping? Do you see the sun shining?), we’re gonna need a little something more than a DVR set to record every Sunday night.

Downton Abbey makes you want to exchange your perfect messy bun for a fleet of fascinators, pack away the yoga pants for some pearls, and dial back your hipmom vibe to crank up your inner heiress. In short, Downton Abbey wants you to party like it’s 1924.

Now, we have said before that we are party girls, and we have the plans to prove it. A season premiere of this magnitude, especially one that left us dangling with the mother of all cliffhangers, demands a little more than some popcorn and PJs. Or at least I thought so. I’ll take my Downton with a side of fabulous and some yummy eats, please. To that end, nobody was viewing Downton on my watch without getting their Downton on— literally or figuratively–and my fellow obsessees, Mary and Nicole, were all in.

Step 1: Dress the part.

We pulled out what would pass for fancy on a Sunday night in the country, pushed back our hair, popped on some fancy jewelry, and went to tea at Nicole’s house.

Yep, that’s my girl who has commandeered my fancy coat and Downton hat. Apparently, she didn’t get the memo about Mom’s clothes post-holiday.

Yeah, we shared our obsession with the next generation. You’re never too young to come to tea!

Step 2: Set the table.

Nicole hid the mismatched silverware, the plastic cups, and basically anything her children touched on a daily basis. She channelled her inner Carson and set a table fit for Violet to pop over for a bite.

That’s fancy loose tea AND a fancy loose tea strainer.

Step 3: Let the girls have at it.

In the end, girls just wanna have fun, even Victorian/Edwardian/Downton fun. I can just hear Cyndi Lauper trying to craft a remake.

For the record, my ten year old son made the scones AFTER he cleaned the kitchen. You can send all marriage proposals via The Sisterhood.

Step 4: Let the adults partake of a special post-tea treat.

You can’t call yourself a true fan until you buy the official wine. In red. AND white.

But we didn’t want to get too high-falutin’. Gotta keep it real here in the ‘hood.

Yep. That’s cork stuck in the top of that there wine. Poor Molesley would have a fit.

Step 5: Impress on the girls the importance of always bringing your A-game. Even to tea.

Pinkies Up!

Step 6: Watch and Talk

Bottom line: This season had to have a slow start out of the gates. The usually fun-to-watch Mary is in mourning. While Mary is stunning as usual in her black, she has lost her snarky edge. To make matters worse, everybody is treating her with kid gloves which means even less fun. The Crawleys need to get back to their usual cantankerous selves to get this party rolling again. And note to the writers: enough with the Molesley story lines already, he was boring as Matthew’s valet and now that Matthew is gone, we are done with him. Find us another Mr. Pamook-like character to get these repressed Victorians’ hearts a-pounding again. Downton’s pull is in the passion underneath the lovely set pieces.