Do you want to build a snowman?
You’re welcome. We didn’t want you to go through withdrawal from that song, even for 3.6 milliseconds. But snowballs to blazes it was a long, hard, Frozen kind of winter. Heck, we had snow in April. SNOW IN APRIL! We feel like toadstools growing in the dank, only to be crushed by more dank.
So it’s about as surprising as a seagull pooping on your head after the toddler one blanket over tosses it some bread that our kids need a little help adjusting to summer this year. They’ve forgotten how to function with sunshine on their faces and sand between their toes because they are so broken from piling on the layers and chipping away at the ice. Their spunk has punked.
But goshdarnit, the sun is actually shining, the birds are chirping and the weeds are overtaking every crack and crevice. We declare the seasons have officially flipped.
And dangnabbit, we are good mothers so we’ll do whatever it takes to get our kids over their funks of confusion and adjusted to summer. Besides, we need to get those weeds pulled.
So welcome to our
Summer Readjustment Bureau
It’s in easy to digest flashcard form because let’s face it, if your kids are this deeply entrenched in hibernation mode, you need to keep it simple.
A) Goggles are great for protecting your eyes in the pool . . . unless they’re ski goggles. And that whole get-up? Adding minutes to her freestyle time for sure.
B) Who needs to move that much sand? Playing in the sand with a snow shovel is more of a cardio workout than a fun day at the beach. By the way, where was she when the driveway needed shoveling!?!
C) So the sleds are waterproof, but not exactly buoyant. We were afraid to tell them there were kayaks right behind them for fear they would use the paddles like ski poles.
D) Do you know how hard it is to get teens to wear hats and gloves? But this winter was soooo bad, they finally caved. It pains us to say this but, “Guys! It’s time to ditch the mittens and penguin!”
E) It’s true. Snowshoes let you walk on water . . . FROZEN water. Sink-Straight-To-The-Bottom party of one, your table is ready.
F) We appreciate you trying to block the sun; really we do. But you might just be asking for an epic case of prickly heat with this get-up. And P.S., it would be super swell if you didn’t hook your cousin and brother.
Feel free to use these flashcards on your own confused little polar bears. With the help of the glorious weather, they should be back to full rebel yell mode in no time; tracking dripping popsicles through your house all the while. Now excuse us while we enjoy these 15 seconds of spring bliss before the thermometer hits 98 degrees and the 111.7% humidity smothers us.
-Ellen and Erin
Oh my gosh, this article cracked me up! It is definitely hard getting kids transitioned between seasons. I’ve found after a long hot summer that the fall is kinda welcomed.
Jamie recently posted..Best Black Leggings For Women
It just feels like summer will never take hold! Even today it is 68 and rainy. Ellen
HILARIOUS!!! Oh this is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant!
My favorite part is that my girls were like, “You want us to do what? You know, what? Whatever. Just tell us what to do.” They are resigned to the blog and know that things go quicker if they don’t question. 🙂 Ellen
I deal with the confusion daily!
It’s cold enough to see your breath in the morning, and hot enough to make you turn on the A/C in the afternoon.
Then a cold front moves in and you’re back to the winter coat. And let’s not talk about gloves. I wear gloves as soon as it’s 50 degrees F or lower.
Try to tell your kids they need to wear a jacket in the morning and listen to them complain in the afternoon about what a terrible weather predictor Mom is.
I understand we’re going to have an El Nino this year. I have no freakin’ idea what that means for Chicago. All I know is there are gloves, hats, blankets and jackets in my car even now. I pray to the weather god, Tom Skilling to keep me informed so I can give the kids good advice.
DoctorDiva/Michele Carlon recently posted..Treating a Scald Burn OR Why Buying Preserves is Cheaper (and Safer) Than Making Them
We are further confused because my husband keeps our house so warm in the winter that we are in t-shirts and so cold with the air-conditioning in the summer that we are in polar fleece. There is no hope for us. 🙂 And I think El Nino needs to calm down, pack her bags and get out. Ellen
Pingback: 7 Delicious Summer Recipes to Be Excited About - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
🙂 This is awesome. My son still tries to get his coat out of the closet before we leave the house. Serious readjustment is needed!
Tricia recently posted..The Leap: BlogU14
Thanks! Glad you stopped by Tricia! I wish our coats were in the closet instead of still living in the back of the van. I keep telling myself I’m leaving them there to take to the cleaners, but that is probably not true. They’ll get tossed in the garage as we are packing for the beach (where I will find them when the first cold snap happens.) 🙂 Ellen