What is it about cats that makes them synonymous with crazy? Is it their aloofness or their murderous tendencies? Is it merely because of the alliteration? The term “Crazy Cat Lady” rolls off the tongue while “Crazy Dog Woman” or “Crazy Gerbil Guy” aren’t even things. Well, the gerbil guy may be a thing, but we’re too afraid to Google it.

We’ve had our own run-ins with cat craziness. Heck, Erin can’t even keep the cats in her house straight. She had an imposter living with her for a while. Wait, does that qualify her as a Crazy Cat Lady or just crazy?

Either way, that story is not as crazy as some of the cat inspired items you can find on our pal Pinterest. That mess is just catcrap crazy pintershizz.

1. Let’s start with the cat crap.

We know people live in small spaces and want to hide the litter box, but this is how we see this one playing out . . .

Imagine a Norman Rockwell perfect holiday. Everyone has feasted and now the family has settled down to play Scrabble, but wait, there is a dispute over the word “scurrilities.” You, the host, jauntily proclaim, ” I cry foul! Spellcheck doesn’t even recognize it . . . FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, AUNT LINDA, THERE IS NO DICTIONARY IN THAT CABINET! PUT ON YOUR GLASSES!”

 

 

2. You need a sharp pencil to keep score.

After almost grabbing a handful of litter box party favors, imagine the hoot Aunt Linda will get when you send her to sharpen her pencil in this gem.

 

 

3. Tastefulness is key when decorating.

No one likes potty humor? Tell that to the whoopie cushion industry, but we can’t guarantee Aunt Linda will understand.

 

 

4. Continuing with the “Steal Your Soul” sub-theme.

Any ol’ (crazy) person can decorate in a cat theme, but it is the true genius who weaves a subtle sub-theme, drawing you in with its complexity. What would go better with the above demonic cat toilet seat than a Stepford Cat toilet brush holder? Buy a spare for Aunt Linda. She’ll enjoy the company when she visits the loo in the dark hours of the night.

 

5. Taking it to the next level.

Anybody with money to burn can buy cat themed items, but those dedicated to their decorating make their own accessories. USING CAT HAIR. Imagine the chuckles “Allergic to Cats Aunt Linda” will enjoy when you tell her, “Sure I have Benadryl. It must be hard to see with your eyes swelling up like that, but it’s in the little box on the back of the toilet.” Wink, wink.

 

(If you need more laughs today, please click on this pin to see the Etsy store for this!)

 

6. Maybe you should issue a warning.

If you had this doormat, maybe everyone wouldn’t be buggin’ and saying Aunt Linda’s trip to the ER was all your fault. Were you really to blame that she forgot her EpiPen?

 

7. Take your show on the road.

Maybe the problem is you’ve been hiding your light under a bushel basket. Let the world know you love cats and tell the haters to stop their wheezin’. (We are talking to you Aunt Linda.) Regardless, this accessory pumps up the “Meow Factor” of any outfit.

 

8. Hold the phone!

Why carry around a facsimile when you can have a purse that is (almost) the real thing! Relax, it’s fake. Stop Googling Sarah McLAughlin phone number! Bonus: it won’t contribute to Aunt Linda’s anaphylaxis at all and she can stop muttering she’s writing you out of the will.

 

9. When subtle isn’t enough.

May we suggest the Crazy Cat Lady uniform? Wouldn’t this be a great gift to cheer Aunt Linda up in the hospital? It’s better than flowers because you really have to be careful about people’s allergies. Apparently.

 

10. We feel like that outfit is missing something.

Fill in your own jokes, but don’t write them in the comments. Our kids read this blog. And Aunt Linda’s sense of humor seems to be on the fritz.

 

Finally, Aunt Linda’s Revenge . . .

This is the only gift she’ll be giving you next year.

 

-Ellen and Erin

*No Aunt Lindas were actually harmed in the facetiousness of this post.

 

 

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