We interrupt this normally even-keeled blog for a good old fashioned rant.
Erin: “Raise your hand if you’ve been victimized by Regina George.”
Ellen: Are you quoting movies again?
Erin: It seemed like the perfect place for a Mean Girls reference. In any case, it’s high time for everybody to step back, take a deep breath, and knock this shizz off.
STOP BEING MEAN TO EACH OTHER, GIRLS!
Ellen: The basic sentiment is simple. We can all be pretty and smart and accomplished. All at the same time. Young ladies, you do not have to put anyone down to make yourself feel better.
Erin: There’s room for everyone at the table of awesome. Just concentrate on polishing your own star or, as we like to say, swim in your own lane. Concentrate on being the best you.
Ellen: What a wonderful world this would be if everyone just concentrated on their own character development. And while we’re at it, I am calling out all of the Mean Girls on that weapon of mass destruction known as exclusion. Maybe, maaaayyybeeee, in the olden days, like 1987, excluding someone was a quiet sort of maneuver, but . . .
Erin: “I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”
Ellen: Who thinks middle school is all rainbows??
Erin: Sorry, I slipped into another movie quote. Bad habit. But who are you kidding? We had whispering and passed notes back in the days before digital media and social sharing. Burn books were real.
Ellen: That’s right, those wonderful group project scrapbooks crafted to puts others down. Like Facebook, but with scissors and glue sticks.
Erin: Unfortunately, excluding a girl from a party or event or even a super-fun-joy-joy activity like making a burn book has never been a secret hazing. Shoot, they probably snickered about Gertrude being excluded from the quilting bee via smoke signals out on the prairie wagon trail.
Ellen: True, but in this age of social media, exclusion can be executed like a surgical strike to the heart via Instagram. So suck it Mean Girls.
Erin: But you know what? Mean Girls don’t corner the market on crappy behavior. There are also Mean Women.
Ellen: You’re right! But not just females either! Everyone gets a place in our burn book . . . I mean blog post. I find myself saying five times a day: WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
Erin: I am so tired of the insincere use of polite catchphrases to make rude behavior acceptable. We need a call to action, like maybe a Stop the Rudeness Campaign.
Ellen: I’m feeling a list coming on . . .
Things That Have the Trappings of Politeness But Are as Worthless as a Screen Door on a Submarine When Only Used as a Cover to Forge Ahead with Rude Behavior
Erin: Yeah, that is pretty long. How about . . .
Stop Using Polite Catchphrases to Cover Rude Behavior
Ellen: I guess that works too. But if you are trying for brevity, maybe “Stop the Rudeness Campaign” would be better. Just sayin’.
Erin: And that leads us to our first point, Ladies and Gentlemen . . .
1. The Just Sayin’/No Offense/In My Opinion Trifecta
C’mon. If any one of these disclaimers passes your lips or ends your status updates, you might as well be giving someone the bird. If you have been isolated from pop culture sarcasm because you live on the frozen tundra of Greenland, there is nothing polite or good that has come before or after these phrases. They are the call words of the passive aggressive.
Even Ross was more subtle . . . just sayin’.
2. The Excuse Me/Push Through Maneuver
This one needs to be explained . . . thoroughly. If you need to move past someone or reach past someone, you say “Excuse me” then wait for it. Literally. The “Excuse me” is the signal to the other person to accommodate you. YOU need to get your panties out of a twist and WAIT for them to react. “Excuse me” isn’t a pleasantry if you are bleating it as you knock someone over like it’s a Black Friday sale, even if it is a Black Friday sale. Ellen fell victim to this many times while she was on crutches. It’s amazing how so few people realize that crutches can instantly become bludgeoning sticks.
Why is Ellen smiling? Rude justice may or may not have just been served.
3. The Doorbell Blitzkrieg
If you ring someone’s doorbell you have to give them more than two seconds to get to the door before you start tapping out Morse code like you’re on the Titanic. Unless it’s a yurt; but then why would they have a doorbell? And while we’re pondering questions, why don’t you join the 21st century, stand on their doormat, and just text them that you’re there like a civilized person? Sheesh.
Ellen: Whew! Felt good to get that out there.
Erin: Nothing like clearing the air to give yourself some breathing room.
Ellen: That just leaves one more thing: Good day and namaste.
Erin: Oh, and what would you add to our Stop the Rudeness Campaign?
When a ref makes a call and a parent or player on the team who did not get the foul says “Thank you” with a real snotty, it’s about time attitude. Not polite or mannerly in any way.
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Just because you are using polite words, does not make it polite. And kids sports can be a cesspool of passive aggressive “sorry not sorry.” Blergh. Ellen
When you have RA and you pull into a handicap parking place (with the right placard) and just because you’re not on crutches you get cursed at by random people.
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I am so sorry for that. Several years ago, I was non-weight bearing on my left leg for 8 weeks and had a temporary handicap tag. The “politics” and angst and anger over the handicap spots is no fun. Ellen
To the rude lady in Kohls today. When you are blocking an entire walkway and someone says “excuse me” that means move more than 2 inches. When I say “I’m sorry I still can’t get through” Don’t look me up and down, throw back your hair and say “REALLY!” With sarcastic flair before sidestepping another 6 inches. Next time I WILL mow your ass down with my little cart or at the very least run over your foot.
Yes! I forgot that twist on the “Excuse me.” The person who hardly moves when YOU say it. Too bad the Kohl’s carts are a little wimpy for mowing people down . . . unless, it’s that double stroller one. 😉 Ellen
The people who yell “Thank you” in a sarcastic tone when their team gets a call on the sports field but they think they’ve been getting the short end of the stick. It’s youth sports, folks, get a grip.
And my big pet peeve these days is people who pretend they don’t see you when run into them in public, when you know they do. I usually make a point to say hello when I walk past just because I think its obnoxious. Am I being obnoxious then? I can’t help it. Ignoring someone on purpose is just immature.
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