Postcards from the Edge: Books About Grief and Loss and Hope

Grief takes you places. These can be dark, hard, lonely places where a tsunami of emotions threatens to pull you under. When you are moving through that forbidding space, you may be looking for anything that can bring a little light into the dark corners.  We like what T. H. White’s Merlyn says in The Once and Future King:

“The best thing for being sad is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder in your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewer of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then—to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it.”

We would only add to that: read a book. In particular, read these books. Whether your heart is broken or just bruised, these beautiful writers are exactly what you are looking for when you are grieving or loving someone who has experienced loss. These books about grief and loss are so much more than just a record of what was lost. Each of these books in their own way not only remembers lovingly the person who is gone but the journey the writers took after the losing.

These are postcards from the edge. Whether you need to take them on your own journey or send them to someone who is traveling this road, they are worthy of the trip.

Books about Grief and Loss and Hope---Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett

With so few books dedicated to the experience of grief, there are even fewer that examine that place of grief that opens up after  the loss of a friend. This one stands out not just for its beautiful writing, but for its brutal honesty in the face of such a loss. Patchett documents her long, loyal, and tender friendship with fellow writer Lucy Greeley, but also the painful wreckage left behind in the wake of Lucy’s death from a heroin overdose. While Patchett’s book is a wonderful piece about female friendships and their power and place in our lives, it is also forever a snapshot of a friend reeling from a profound loss. Patchett’s twin gifts for beautiful narrative and candor make this not just a fascinating read but a comforting one.

About Alice by Calvin Trillin

We should all be loved so well. Calvin Trillin adored his wife and this book is a lovely tribute to the woman he lost. In the midst of the story of his long, happy marriage to an exceptional woman, Trillin reveals the deep chasms in his life once she is no longer in it. Fortunately for us, there is light in the shadows. Loss of his beloved is painful, but Trillin’s story shines with the light of a love that has survived the ultimate separation. Beautiful writing and a great subject make this book a must read.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Didion’s memoir of the year following the loss of her husband is quite a trip even if it goes to a place we never really wanted to go. Alternately funny, desperate, wise, and endearing, Didion braves the landscape of grief with raw honesty. Despite the terrible story she is forced to tell, Didion never succumbs to her subject. Her writing captures grief’s new terrain—the exhilarating, nauseating roller coaster of it—with an unflinching eye. She casts aside all attempts to make her travel through this dark space easier. Grief is hard and we do no favors to minimize the challenges on the path. Didion won’t let platitudes or any other attempts to minimize her pain dissuade her from the hard work of grieving. This is an eyes-wide-open view of death from the perspective of a loved one left behind.

The Long Goodbye: A Memoir by Meghan O’ Rourke

In the throes of grief, sometimes you just need someone to be there with you. Meghan O’Rourke wants to walk beside you. Deeply intimate and personal, poet Meghan O’ Rourke’s memoir of her mother’s cancer from her diagnosis to her death talks about all the painful emotions associated with losing a mother. So frank and open about what it really feels like, O’ Rourke focuses the full power of her poetic art onto the experience of her loss. The result is a piece of writing that connects the reader to the author in a uniquely powerful way. O’Rourke is a fellow traveler offering a hand along the path. It’s one worth taking.

Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Anna Whiston-Donaldson

This is the newest book to the oeuvre of books about grief but it is certain to become one of the most treasured. In the same vein as the authors we mentioned above, Donaldson does not flinch, fold, or fail in the face of tragedy and loss. Instead, she reacts with grace, humor, and beautiful writing.

We do not necessarily want to follow her on the journey that starts with the loss of her beloved 12 year old son Jack in a flash flood, but we cannot help ourselves. Donaldson beckons us not just to follow her, but to know her, to know Jack, to know them all, as they walk through the valley of death. Within the first few pages of the book, we are traveling with her, feeling her pain, descending a little into that dark, sad place and then emerging again as she relearns how to laugh, love, and feel again. This is a story about moving through grief and you feel that as you read.

Anna’s story is also a story of deep faith in the face of that which rocks one to the very core. Her poignant, painful, and sometimes funny anecdotes don’t just paint a picture of grief but gives it clear edges and hard corners. This new framework that grief imposes leaves her struggling to find in this new dark place the God that has always sustained her. But her straightforward open-hearted approach to this journey helps her see the new big God who is walking beside her in this place. Her frank writing shares Him with us.

Three years after the loss of her son, Anna Whiston-Donaldson has crafted something beautiful out of the crazy, sad space left behind after the loss of her son.  “Rare Bird” is exceptional in its power and inimitable in its voice. It is a rare and beautiful find on a dark road.

Here is a quote from the book that we love.

#rarebirdPlease take the time to visit a library, fire up your Kindle, or go to Amazon right now and read the full power of her story.

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