The NFL Needs a Better Imagination When It Comes to Domestic Violence

Why did the NFL have to see the video of former Baltimore Raven, Ray Rice, actually hitting his then-fiancée to take serious action? Well, actually, the NFL needed to have the public see the video of Rice hitting his fiancée to take action, but that is another ugly side of this tale. For now, I’m perplexed that the video of Rice roughly dragging her unconscious body out of the elevator like a sack of laundry and his confession to hitting her, were only enough to warrant a two game suspension.

Have we become such a visual nation with Instagram, Vines, and YouTube that if we can’t see it, then we can’t imagine it? I’ve been guilty of texting a friend attending a star-studded event, “Take a picture or it never happened.” Please, Dear Lord, don’t let that be the case with domestic violence.

The NFL Needs a Better Imagination When It Comes to Domestic Violence - We shouldn't have to see it happen to believe. - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

It is coincidental that Baltimore, Maryland is the stage for this drama because that’s where violence became more than just the nightly news for me. Working at the University of Maryland Hospital took the brutality that I had previously “tsk, tsked” over in the safety of my living room, and dumped it squarely in my lap.

There, as a fresh-faced med student, I had to retract the eyelid of a screaming, writhing woman so the ophthalmologist could see if her retina was detached by the brutal pistol whipping delivered by her boyfriend. I discovered there were some chinks in the armor of my steel stomach after all.

During my rotations through the ER, I had to collect rape kits on victims who decided the “I love you-s” were empty and it was time to press charges. I cried over what I had to do to these women to collect evidence.

As an OB/GYN resident, I had to hide a patient on another hallway and work around an armed police officer because her husband had sent her into labor with a kick. He was still at large and dangerous to us all.

I mercifully did not see the violence that rained down on these women, but I saw the aftermath, so I could imagine the horror. But more importantly, I cared enough to imagine the horror.

The NFL, of all organizations, should not abide by “seeing is believing.”  Their referees frequently can’t make the right calls, even with instant replay.

There shouldn’t have to be photos or footage to provoke outrage over the cracked ribs, fractured cheekbones, and broken spirits. We should be able to use compassion to decode those injuries into the violence that produced them.

Please, Dear Lord, don’t let “Take a picture or it never happened” be our standard for domestic violence.

We Need a Better Imagination When It Comes to Domestic Violence. "Take a Picture or It Never Happened" should NEVER apply. - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

-Ellen

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

 

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