9 Reasons to Embrace That Ten(ish) Extra Pounds of Fluffiness

You know what’s easier than making resolutions? (Well, technically resolutions are fairly easy to make, it’s the keeping of them that gets thorny.) Anyway, it’s really very simple: look on the “plus side” of what you’ve got instead of buying into that whole goal making/self-improvement hoohaa. When you think about, saying you need improvement is really just being negative. Embrace positivity! Declare yourself perfect!

By the way, “plus side.” Get it? Because we’re punning about extra weight? Laughter can count as exercise, People, so get on board. At the very least, it has less calories than a slice of red velvet cake.

Worth the Effort Red Velvet Cake

Mmmmmm, red velvet cake. Worth the effort and calories?

Speaking of making the best of things, optimism and acceptance might have to tide Erin over for a while since she lost her FItbit less than a week into the new year. One minute she was obsessively looking at her step count and the next–poof!–it was gone. Ellen has offered to share her weight loss secret with her–namely a raunchy stomach virus–but Erin doesn’t seem to think the three days of abject misery are worth the loss of water weight. Weird.

So while we’re squeezing into our 2014 jeans because of our All-The-Cookies-Doughnuts-Bacon-Whiskey-Sour-Slushy-Roast-Beast Holiday Gluttony, we give you nine reasons we think it’s great to be a little fluffier.

9 Reasons to Embrace That Ten(ish) Extra Pounds of Fluffiness- Acceptance is the new resolution! - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. You have no fear of ice! When you fall on your butt, you’ll bounce like a Bumble instead of cracking that tailbone. Even if you aren’t a klutz, a little extra cushion always comes in handy when you’re logging those hours on Pinterest.

2. Subzero temps don’t put a chill in your heart! You’ll be content as a polar bear with your extra insulation as you fire up the minivan for morning carpool. While others are saying, “Brrrrr,” you’ll be proclaiming, “Brrrring it!”

3. Extra poundage adds extra rad to your rack! Know what we mean, Ladies? Bonus: you have more capacity in your Cleavage Crumb Catcher which comes in handy when devouring those stale Christmas cookies in the pantry. Hides the evidence from prying little eyes.

4. Your problem with missing clothes is over! The jeans in your current rotation won’t vaporize into thin air because your teenage daughter “borrowed” them. Nobody wants the chubby pants. Nobody.

5. No more fighting with Grandma! One look at the junk in your trunk and she’ll stop pushing that last piece of pie on you.

6. Your fear of heights is a moot point! Everyone will insist you be at the base of that team-building pyramid. “Sturdy” almost sounds like a compliment when you hear it through the crunching of potato chips.

7. You’ll get more bang for your buck! No longer will your spouse feel like the “All-You-Can-Eat” buffet is wasted money on you. You’ll be a legend.

8. Your sense of accomplishment in the everyday is renewed! Successfully bending over to tug on those Uggs is celebration worthy. And actually tying shoes? Get outta here! Treat yourself to that leftover fruitcake you’re using as a doorstop.

9. People won’t bug you about your New Year’s Resolutions! They already know what they are. Oh, yes, they already know.

You’re welcome for the spin doctoring!

Ellen and Erin

 

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