If you’ve walked through a mall recently, you can sense that something big is just around the corner. Do you see those dress racks in disarray? The shoe department in shambles? The make-up counter mobbed? Prom is a-coming. As parents, we need to be ready for the big moment, but it’s more than charging the camera battery, clearing the SD card, and posting for posterity on Facebook. Prom is for the kids, but parents play a big part in what’s truly important in the three ring circus that surrounds this high school milestone. Be the sane and happy ringmaster you need to be with our handy parenting checklist.
1. Budget
Your goal: Get your kid to understand that this is not the pinnacle of his or her life no matter what Sixteen Candles may lead them to believe.
To this end, set firm limits on what you think is reasonable and appropriate to pay for prom and all its many trappings. Also, ask your child to think in advance about who is paying for what. Just to get the old budget pencil moving in an accurate and realistic direction, make sure you factor in the cost of the following:
- Dress or Tux
- Shoes
- Hair
- Make-Up
- Tickets
- Flowers
- Before prom activities
- After prom activities
- Transportation
Once you decide what is reasonable, stick to it. No sweet puppy dog eyes to get a little more dough. College is on the horizon. Time to start thinking like a poor college kid.
2. Arrangements
Your goal: Nailing the jello that is a high schooler’s plans to the wall. Get your kiddo to come up with a plan about what is happening when and where–then try, try, TRY! to get them to stick to it. Scratch that: Your realistic goal is to just ride the wave. This should come as no surprise to you if you are parenting a teen, but kids like to do things as a pack. This includes getting ready and taking pictures together before prom. What you may not know, if you have not gone through this before, is that these activities sometimes take place in more than one location so your pack becomes a migrating herd.
For your sanity, start asking questions about these pesky little details as soon as your child has Instagrammed that promposal, but sketch up that schedule/Venn diagram/flow chart in pencil with a big ol’ eraser at the ready. Moods, friendships, and dates can shift like the wind. Know full well that you may not have an actual plan on something as simple as where you’re going to take pictures until the day or even hour before.
3. Transportation
Your goal: To not spend the evening yoked to your cellphone tracking your child’s every movement or replaying every after school special you ever saw about prom night.
Determine long before anyone is buckled in who will be driving, whose car they will be taking, or if they will be renting transportation for the night. Before you scoff at the idea of a limo, remember that while prom should not break the bank, it would be super nice for your own peace of mind to not have anyone driving.
4. Expectations
Your goal: Check yourself. Check your kid.
Time to take the emotional temperature of your teen. Not every kid thinks this will be the most amazing night of their life, and even those who do may be sorely disappointed. Find out where your kid is on the scale from overly excited to completely not interested, but make sure your own “prom from hell” stories or regrets are firmly tucked away. The reality of prom today is very different from the made-for-TV versions or the one you had oh-so-many-moons ago. Kids today are more casual about whether or not they bring a date, and there aren’t the same social repercussions for skipping it all together. Don’t let your own history color the story happening in your house right now. The best we can do as parents is to adjust the expectations so they aren’t just realistic, but in line with our own child’s wishes.
5. Modesty
Your goal: To be honest about how you feel about hemlines, necklines, and any other lines.
All families make these decisions for themselves, but whether you have a boy or a girl, a conversation about how to respectfully conduct themselves is part of parenting kids to be thoughtful, considerate dates or attendees. We love these Prom Commandments , so let your kids take a gander at these before the big night. This is also a great time to talk to your children about not increasing their risk for skin cancer. Tanning beds are never a good idea.
6. Family
Your goal: To make your child’s special memory a family one.
This is a moment in your child’s life. Whether you have a sprawling brood or a travel-sized one, remember to include the siblings in the memory-making, if only to get precious photo gems like these. It’ll be fun to compare them when your youngest get to go to their own proms.
7. Post Prom
Your goal: Be one of the options.
Some schools have formal post-prom events, but they pale in comparison to the volume and allure of all the other post prom options. If you are so inclined, sing it far and wide that your humble abode is wide open as post-prom central. If you are not up for it, touch base with the angels who are taking that hit for the night. This is definitely an instance where checking in with the other parents is a must.
7. Drinking
Your goal: Be honest. Be thorough. Be heard.
Now is not the time to shy away from truthful conversations about alcohol. Lay it all out on the table about what you expect, what they might encounter, what the stakes are, and what the consequences could be. Thoroughly discuss legalities, dangers, and how alcohol can lower inhibitions. Seniors need to know that plans for the future like college acceptances and scholarships can all be dashed with a suspension or expulsion.
But you don’t stop there. Craft a strategy for the night with your kid so you can help them out if they get in over their heads. Be their scapegoat and their safe ride with few questions asked.
We have tips for how to get the conversation rolling, but if you take nothing else away, heed this: don’t wait until prom night to start this conversation. The earlier you start talking, the better for you all.
8. Sex
Your goal: Be honest. Be thorough. Be heard.
Pretty much everything in the drinking section above and then some. But once again, it’s not ideal to start hemming and hawing your way through the birds and the bees on the night of prom. Start this conversation early and if you need some tips to get started, we have them here.
So there you have it . . .
Prom may be just one moment in the life of a high schooler, but there’s a carload of emotional baggage tied into this one lil’ old night. Let this guide provide some reassurance that you have done all you can on your end to make the night safe, happy, and memorable for your teen.
This is a sponsored post for Ask, Listen, Learn for Alcohol Awareness Month.
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This is great advice for parents with teenagers attending prom. It can definitely get expensive, but it is definitely possible to make the night one to remember without going over budget. These pictures are adorable! It looks like everyone had a great time! Great post! Thanks for sharing!
Proms are one of the momentary events for teenagers. With all the pressure and changes they’re going through, it’s now the parents’ job to help their children. Great input on the arrangements needed for the event. Getting together most especially helps in the budget arena. Cool pictures!
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Wow, what a great post! It definitely covers everything you can think of no doubt. Loved your point about how getting a limo will ensure that no one has to drive and would certainly help ease your mind! Thanks for sharing.
Wow, this guide has covered everything you can expect on prom day. I agree that getting a limo makes the day special while also giving parents a peace of mind. Thanks for sharing.