In the beginning,  our trip to Pittsburgh to visit family was shaping up to  be a lovely moment on the timeline of our lives. My sister, Karen, had finally moved within a distance we could drive on a single tank of gas. She had a new job, a new baby, and a new house under contract. So my husband, Steve, and I loaded up the minivan with our crew of five and pointed her west.  Spring Break looks a little different once you’ve traded bikinis for, well, Pittsburgh, but we had high expectations for album-worthy memories on this trip. Which meant there was only way it could go: down in flames. And spectacularly so.

Fate laughs in the face of such hubris.

Trouble started brewing on Friday night, when Eddie (2) started vomiting.  There is no faster way to become persona non grata in someone’s home than to start chewing through their linens.  My poor sister had been a mom for about 10 minutes, but she was torn. It’s all fun and games until someone needs a bucket.

We had just dropped Patient Zero in the middle of her lovely new home. I could see her mind click through her options: Grab her own child a la Sally Field in “Not Without My Daughter”, kick mine to the curb, or re-create a scene from Outbreak complete with tenting and masks.

My sister may or may not have been thinking this!

Um, we started packing.

At this point, I was harboring a fantasy that the exorcism coming from my child really was the result of his licking the bathroom floor at the rest stop as Charlie (8) suggested. I was packaging this spin for my sister and her husband, Dan, when Victim 2 fell. And hard. The siege was underway.

Pittsburgh is about five horrible, evil, ugly hours from home when you’re under attack. I’m gonna spare you the details, but leave you with this image: Steve pulled the car into the driveway after a looooooooong drive on the Puking Parkway from Pittsburgh and promptly tossed his cookies on the front lawn. Where’s a white flag when you really need one??

This was Saturday night. Easter morning was a mere 6 hours away. So in addition to Eddie, Ace (12) was down, Steve was down, and the other three kids were dropping like flies. We could have used a quarantine sign and some yellow tape.

What did this seemingly sane woman do then? Start wrapping and assembling Easter baskets. It was me against the clock. But much like the scene with Steve hours before, I succumbed right about the time I nestled the last chocolate egg in its basket.

Dawn rose on a day with two parents completely incapacitated.  It was not looking good for an Easter miracle, but thank every lucky star in the sky for the resilience of boys when candy is on the line!  Ace (12) who not 6 hours earlier had been wrapped around a toilet bowl had regained his usual step. He had no idea what I had in store for him.

Bottom Line: Sonny Boy got a huge promotion, complete with bunny ears and bragging rights. I felt like a stage mom pushing my baby into the spotlight, “You can do it, honey! Just think positive thoughts.” To be frank, I was too sick to move so it was more like gesturing and mumbling, but, whatever, he was my Chosen One.

No childhood innocence was lost in the making of this memory. At least, I hope not. I actually have no recollection of that day, but Ace even took pictures. It happened.

Is this not the most pathetic looking child you have ever seen?

Postscript: The virus took down my sister’s whole family viciously within hours of our hasty retreat. Dan still uses The Great Pittsburgh Easter Plague as the yardstick to measure all other illnesses. In fact, he was completely unsympathetic when another virus took us all down last year.

And I did get my album-worthy memory after all. Mostly because Dan won’t let me forget it.

-Erin

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By Ellen Williams Erin Dymowski

Two years ago today, we had a perfect night. Crisp, clear, and beautiful, the night hinted at all yet to come. You could practically feel the quick-silver energy of spring crackling in the air. We were in that limbo of the changing seasons with one foot in fur-lined boots and the other in flip-flops, but we were definitely on the cusp of change. Hope and promise and the hint of so many lovely days to come were everywhere that night. So this country girl left the windows wide open and went to sleep.

Around midnight, I awoke to the sound of voices outside. Certain that it was neighborhood teens drawn outside by the beautiful weather, I was irritated. I needed to get back to sleep. I am not actually a girl any more, and we more seasoned gals need our beauty sleep.

When I went to the window to call out to them, time stopped.  The house two doors down was engulfed in flames. A young family of seven was sobbing on the front lawn.  The images kept coming then, stacked one upon another, each image more heartbreaking than the one that came before. Neighbors trying to keep the flames at bay with garden hoses. A little boy patting his Mama’s arm.  Fire truck after fire truck after fire truck lined up through the neighborhood—a brotherhood of firemen trying to save the home of one of their own. A baby girl wrapped in a neighbor’s sweatshirt. Little boys half-dressed in pajamas. Little bare feet everywhere in the too cool air. Two more pictures stood out. A house there. Then not.

Our hearts were broken. We are a community. Their pain was our pain.

We felt so much.  The family had just moved in three weeks prior, but  we were already connected. Maybe it was because this young family was our mirror in many ways with 4 boys and a girl. Maybe it was because the boys had become such fast friends.  Our kids were already playing together every day, wearing out our side yard with spirited games of soccer. Maybe it was because I was already friends with the husband’s sister and knew the extended family a little.  Time doesn’t define all relationships. We felt a connection immediately, and they did too.

My family tried to help in any way we could. But in addition to the burnt scar in the ground just two houses away that we saw EVERY. SINGLE. DAY., we now had a quiet empty soccer field beside the house. Whoever said silence is golden hasn’t walked around a neighborhood after a tragedy.

A little while after the fire (a week? two?), Eddie, then 3, and I visited the family to see how they were doing. We had some donations for them, most important of which was a pair of glasses for the 9 year old.  You never REALLY know what to expect from preschoolers, but Eddie walked right up to their 3 year old Bezzy like they hadn’t missed a beat.

“Your house burned down. That’s sad.”  I froze. But I didn’t need to worry. Their three year old son Bezzy started jabbering away with Eddie about everything that was going on. He told Eddie every last toy that he lost, every lovey that was gone forever, and, saddest of all, that their dear dog had died in the fire too. I was planted in my spot watching this amazing conversation unfold. These were  preschoolers, and they were talking like two wizened old souls. It was heavy, heavy stuff for these young hearts, but there they were connecting, being there for each other in a real and honest way.

Bezzy’s mom Sarah told me that the fire had unmoored Bezzy, shattering his notion of home and safety.  His little hurt self had responded by shutting down. Bezzy had pretty much stopped talking after that night and had retreated into his own little world of play. Eddie was reaching across a divide with his friendship to pull Bezzy to the other side. As we were watching these two little guys chatter on, we sensed the change, saw with our own eyes how the simple gifts of acknowledgment and a listening heart could bring someone through limbo to the cusp of change. Our babies were happy, and we couldn’t help but tear up. Then this. . .

“Well, let’s eat a cracker, and then play with some trucks.”

Yes, let’s.

Two years on, and the family is back in our neighborhood in a beautiful new home, and the neighborhood play has resumed.

Sarah was asked to give a talk at her local church about what people can do when tragedy strikes, and she told the boys’ story.  It’s especially beautiful when coupled with one of Sarah’s favorite sayings that she often shared on their year-long journey from the fire back into their home: God’s favorite way of showing up is through His people.

Indeed.

Today I picked up a pile of dirty sweatshirts out beside our makeshift side yard soccer field. Warmer weather, longer days, and the promise of long afternoons filled with not-so-much-to-do are right around the corner. Knee-deep in extra laundry and waging a daily battle against the dirt mound threatening to engulf us, I could complain, but I don’t.  This time of year is special. Full of promise. Laden with hope. I want to remember that today.

~Erin

By Ellen Williams Erin Dymowski

In paperback and on Kindle

Our wonderfully talented friend Angela Shelton has written a fantastical book, The Adventures of Tilda Pinkerton: Book 1: Crash-landing on Ooleeoo. Read the review below then click on over to Amazon to grab a copy for yourself.

Curious about the woman behind the book? To learn more about the beautiful author and her inspiring life head on over to Sperk* to read our post about her on Kimberly Speranza‘s empowering weekly feature, Wednesday’ s Woman.

Tilda Pinkerton

In the place where intelligence and imagination meet, Tilda Pinkerton thrives. That place, Ooleeoo, is an utterly delightful place complete with chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla fields, creative characters, full-on magic, and a deep well-spring of whimsy. Tilda’s universe is populated with love and language and a deep love FOR language. Any child who dreams of his or her own Oxford English dictionary will be charmed (and yes, those kids do exist). Every chapter has footnotes for new words learned therein, and the book nearly glows with its big heart. For the right child, the precocious and language-curious, this book will be a treasure.

Tilda herself is a delight with her ability to craft hats that illuminate the special talents in each person who wears them. Who doesn’t wish for someone to not just see their hidden magic but find a way to celebrate and proclaim it to the world? Tilda is just the girl we all need. Kids will bond with her over her deep love for her pets too. She is loyal and brave, a heroine with some wicked smarts and a heart of gold.

In the end, this creative imaginative world that Angela Shelton has created is not a bad place to hang out in on a cozy afternoon, particularly if you are a kid who loves fantasy and imaginative leaps of fancy. There is so much going on here for a fertile young mind to enjoy and appreciate. The Adventures of Tilda Pinkerton is a unique addition to the world of children’s literature and loyal readers will wait for Book 2 to see Tilda continue her escapades. Thoroughly Enjoyable Read!

Angela Shelton: Beautiful Inside and Out

By Ellen Williams Erin Dymowski

Spike Lee might hate us a little for riffing off the title of one of his more mediocre films, but if the title fits, well, who’s gonna blame us?

We know we just gave you some great ideas for books to kick back with by the pool or on the beach here, but it’s summer and you can’t have too many. So here are a few more in case you are chewing through the previous list at an impressive rate or those other books just weren’t for you.

1. The Art of Hearing Heartbeats– Oh, this book wooed us! In that old-fashioned, damn-I-had-no-idea-I-could-be-knocked-off-my-feet-like-that kind of way. First of all, it started off as a sort of mystery: Dad disappears and daughter goes off to find him. Then the story morphs and suddenly you find yourself smack dab in the middle of an honest-to-goodness-old-fashioned romance. Once you catch on to what’s happening in this story within a story,  you will be hooked, so just willingly suspend that disbelief and succumb to the infinite charms of this deeply beautiful and affecting love story. You are gonna be all warm and fuzzy about true love after this one—Fifty Shades be damned!

2.Lifeboat—Charlotte Rogan’s kind of a rock star. With this first novel, she has created a book with the characters, plot, and pace  you crave in a great summer read. A bonus is that you will get so caught up in it that you’ll be chartering your own craft before the novel’s done.

Rogan grew up in a sailing family, and her descriptions of the sea itself are pretty engrossing (haven’t read such great imagery since The Perfect Storm). But that’s just half of the appeal.  The other main draw is her narrator Grace—a newlywed with secrets and sass. No eye-rolling, please, but Erin and her sister had an intense  hour-long conversation about whether Grace can be trusted to tell the story honestly. You will be wondering too, and that’s part of what elevates this story to really wonderful.

3. Broken Harbor by Tana French– This is a weird choice, because we haven’t actually read it, but we absolutely will and you should too. In fact, we already said how much we love Tana French here, but we should probably say it again: If you haven’t read her, rectify that situation. Pronto. This is what we know about the new novel. It is set in Dublin (like the other books), it involves a mystery to be solved, and it will be released July 24th.  It will be wonderful. We just know it!! Reserve your copy today!!

4. Silver Girl by Elin Hildebrand— You may not have noticed, but we have a little section at the top of our blog where we review books. This is one of the first beach reads Ellen reviewed. Here’s an excerpt from that review:

“While the disaster that befalls, Meredith, the wife of the orchestrator of a fictional Ponzi scam is the storyline, I was drawn in by the rich character development and the authenticity of all of the relationships.  The friendship between Meredith and Connie is as messy as you would expect for two people who have known each other since childhood: full of mistakes, history, tears, jealousy, and forgiveness.”

You can read the rest here. Then grab a cool drink, a comfy chair, a great view, and escape.

5. The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta— This is another great read from a favorite writer who understands our current culture and climate so well. This book is one answer to the question: What happens when it all goes away? It’s a compelling, thought-provoking, and wonderful read—what more can you ask for with your toes in the sand?

6. The Wilder Life by Wendy Mc Clure— Not all of us were Laura Ingalls Wilder fans when we were girls, but this book will get you all excited about butter churns and samplers.  This is an infectious fun book about the ultimate dork road trip. You will be gassing up the minivan and pointing it westward in no time.

7. Look At Me by Jennifer Egan—This is another book club favorite. But this one comes with a warning: this book is hard to love even when you cannot put it down. Intrigued? You should be. This book is definitely going to get you thinking. The central character Charlotte is a model that loses her looks in a horrific car accident. As she is healing, she is nearly unrecognizable. This leaves ample room for the talented Egan to spin a tale that takes  on our society’s obsession with appearances. Sound a little deep for poolside reading? We have a whole group of friends who would challenge that notion. You won’t be sorry if you add this to your stack.

8. The Lake Shore Limited by Sue Miller—We love Sue Miller. She is so good at creating characters that you forget you’re reading and feel yourself looking around for your new friends. Anyway, this is a story in a story too, and this approach gives you just the distance you need to see these characters clearly.  Billy, the playwright, is grieving the loss of her lover who was killed in the attacks of 9/11, and she works out her feelings in her play about a man waiting to hear if his wife has been killed in a terrorist attack on the famed train, The Lake Shore Limited. These characters will drag you into their world no matter where you may be sipping your drink.

9. Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake— Ashley Taylor at The Dose of Reality loves Anna Quindlan as much as we do and says so here. Knowing full well that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, we had to go out immediately and read this book, because, well, it’s Anna Quindlan.

It. Was. Perfect. Everyone, not even just the Quindlan-obsessed, will have to concede this point.

Here’s a favorite quote from it: “Being a parent is not transactional. We do not get what we give. It is the ultimate pay-it-forward endeavor: We are good parents not so they will be loving enough to stay with us but so they will be strong enough to leave us.” Now, go get yourself a copy!!

10. War and Peace–This is Erin’s pick completely. Ellen is busy suppressing every innate reflex to mock. This is on our list, because it’s on Erin’s summer reading list. Again.

She was supposed to read this book for her own self-edification when she was 30. And didn’t. Many attempts over the ensuing 10 years didn’t get the job done. Snookering hapless friends into “reading” it with her didn’t help either.

That’s all gonna change this summer. Mary jumped on this band wagon, and we invited our regular book club friends to read it with us. So now we are inviting all of you too. There won’t be any prizes, but you can mock with glee if you read it and we don’t. But Erin is really gonna read it, so be prepared to high-five via the interwebz!

By Ellen Williams Erin Dymowski

This week we are hosting a little Sisterhood Storytime.  You might want to pull up a comfy chair, a cozy blanket, and a box of wine. . .

Once upon a time, Erin’s parents left town to visit her brother in California. Thinking that their daughter was married with 5 kids and living two hours away, they did not feel the need to take away her key or inform her that she shouldn’t be planning any big parties while they were away. Big mistake.

Erin addressed The Sisterhood, “Hey, I  have got a this-shit-is-gold kind of idea. My parents are leaving their house open for a week at the end of June, who wants to come?”

Sister Love! ( Mary made us do this.)

Every hand shot up. The Sisterhood does like to party.

“Oh, and we’re bringing kids AND we are going hiking AND I signed us up for this thing called Parkquest so we will not only be hiking, but hiking with a goal and a purpose.”

Only 4 hands remained—Vickie, Laura, Mary, and Ellen—and it all began.

“What is this madness?” you ask.

It’s Parkquest! Maryland State Parks runs this program where families form teams and can participate in “quests” free of charge at participating parks. Quests can involve hiking, biking, kayaking, canoeing, horseback riding, etc. If you can do it outside, it’s probably on a Parkquest. Each team gets a passport that you present to the ranger for a coveted stamp to verify you completed the quest. Teams who complete 10 quests get to go to the Grand Finale where you compete some more and have the chance to win prizes.

“How do I sign up??” you ask without any trace of irony.

This jamboree of family fun is in its fifth year, and 1000 families closed out the registration in 2 hours time. The spaces are all filled.

“That’s madness!” you say.

We know! But we have upped the crazy factor by 1000% by doing Parkquest The Sisterhood Way. We even have a name: Big Love. And t-shirts too, but that’s a whole other story . Ellen was not involved and Erin sucks at crafts—the results were less than perfect.

So, back to the story. Try to stop interrupting. Big Love began when we descended on Erin’s parents’ house in Western Maryland 4 years ago.

“Wait, isn’t Big Love the show about polygamy?” you sputter.

You’ll keep listening to the story now, won’t you? But anyway, four moms and 14 kids shoehorned into the four bedroom home like possums in a hollow log. Somehow Ellen got a bed to herself, so all was right with the world. We really do love her and gave her a break because she had flown in from Costa Rica the night before and was operating on four hours of sleep.

The next morning we fed the troops army mess hall style and departed on the first quest. Even we had enough sense to be nervous. For the love of Mother Nature, we were taking 14 kids ranging in age from  2 to 15 out into the Wilderness.

Would you take these babies to the top of a mountain??

Everything went off just fine. Except for Ellen getting lost. And the poisonous copperhead snake.

“WTF!” you say.

No worries from the snake. If you don’t bother them, they don’t bother you. We’re not sure this is true all of the time, but we’re sure glad it was true that day.

The worst outcome from the whole experience was the grudge Ellen’s daughter Jellybean now holds against her for getting them lost in the woods. That ax is still grinding even though Ellen has outfitted herself with a compass and snake bite kit from Walmart. FYI– Walmart also has bear whistles.

“Good to know,” you mutter as you make a mental note to never go into the woods with Ellen and Erin.

Depiction is not accurate. Not enough cats. Not enough chaos.

Because this first “successful” quest left us relatively unscathed, we were emboldened. We put on our sassy pants (Aisle 3, Walmart), picked up our lassoes, and herded the cats to the next quest. We even drew more people into our rodeo as Erin’s brother  Brian and his son joined the stampede.

So, we loaded ‘em up and hauled them to the top of Mount Washington State Park. We were in the parking lot trying to get everyone fed and organized. Going back to the cat analogy, there were kids everywhere and we were quite the spectacle. We grabbed the attention of a very elderly old man.

“Creepers,” you say.

We know. Unwanted conversation ensued with Ellen. He should have picked Erin—Ellen doesn’t talk to strangers.

And now if Ellen could go back in time, she would waste her trip on this moment so she could deliver this line—“Yes, we are sister wives, and that is our man. If you wait real patient like, the camera crews will be along in about 10 minutes.”

But it didn’t matter anyway, because Big Love was born and we loved the idea so much, we. . .

Wrote it on our cars!

And ironed it on our t-shirts! (Note from Ellen-Without reading the directions!)

And agreed to do it again and again and again. Sister wives are we! You can peruse more of our memories and photos here.

We have even added a Big Love Big Daddy Style trip where we get the hubbies involved. Curious?

 

-Ellen and Erin

 

By Ellen Williams Erin Dymowski