Category Archives: Snorts

How Bloggers’ Kids Get Their Revenge

Very rarely do the planets align to create a perfect family day, but we had one this summer when Steve and I took our kids for a little impromptu tour of my hometown. No fighting, no whining, and no unpleasantness whatsoever—-it was the trifecta of family harmony.

But all good things must come to an end.

Because I was hopped up on the good vibes AND our happy jaunt around town landed us in front of the old courthouse AND it was the exact spot where Steve and I had some wedding photos taken 16 years ago, I wanted evidence. Of course, whipping out the DSLR caused some kind of shift in the universe, and things started to unravel. And quickly. Don’t  look for those photos on our Christmas card this year.

Always the one to add some gasoline to the inferno, I thought it would be a swell idea to take some photos for the blog too. I mean, the sky was blue, the air was perfect, and my kids were self-combusting—what better time to catch some photo ops? But my kids are pros now at posing as the faceless wonders, so that part of the shoot went just fine. I didn’t really think of those pictures again. Then earlier this week, I came upon this photo.

I don’t care what their teachers say. My boys are geniuses, and revenge is sweet.

Well played, gentlemen. Well played.

PS–I think I can even see them giggling. I don’t know how I missed it before.

—Erin

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share it real good . . .
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on StumbleUponShare on RedditEmail this to someonePrint this page

Biddie(13) is a twee bit obsessed with a certain boy band from across the pond. She bought the One Direction video with money from her babysitting gig and conned Steve into watching it with her. This is the conversation I overheard.

Steve: “Do any of these guys play instruments?”

Biddie: “Oh, yeah. Harry plays the kazoo. And that one plays the triangle.”

Steve: “So they’re real musicians then.”

Thinking that their musical talent might not be the main draw. . .

—Erin


Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share it real good . . .
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on StumbleUponShare on RedditEmail this to someonePrint this page

Proclaimed while watching the Olympic equestrian events. There was more than a little outrage over the horses doing all of the work and the riders getting all of the credit. And just like that, the lively discussion left the gates.

What she said.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share it real good . . .
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on StumbleUponShare on RedditEmail this to someonePrint this page

Jellybean (11) quipped this after I announced that not only did I send her prepared water bottle off to school with her sister, this meant that Coco (13) had not one, but two water bottles in her lunch bag.  I do blame blogging.  Ellen

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share it real good . . .
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on StumbleUponShare on RedditEmail this to someonePrint this page

Out of the French Fry Stuffed Mouths of Babes

A tender moment while snuggling with Eddie (4) at bedtime . . .

Eddie – You didn’t feed me dinner.

Erin – You totally had dinner when we went through the McDonald’s drive-thru on the way to pick the big kids up.

Eddie – It doesn’t count if we don’t sit around the table and I get to share my stories.

Thank you for reading this edition of When Your Own Words Come Back and Bite You In Your Butt.

 

Thank you and did you remember to Supersize my side of guilt?

Finding the Funny

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share it real good . . .
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on StumbleUponShare on RedditEmail this to someonePrint this page

The Stranger in My House

It is a beautiful spring day, and we are lazing on the couch in Erin’s sunroom blogging. Erin is absentmindedly stroking her cat.

Erin says as she strokes his chest, “Wow, my cat’s fur is turning red. I thought he was all black.”

Ellen replies, “Cats just don’t turn red. Are you sure “he” is a male? Those are calico markings and calicos are almost universally female.”

Erin says, “Of course I have a male, I’m not stupid. More importantly, who knows this kind of sh*%? <pause> Dork.”

But Erin proceeds to reluctantly flip the cat over and poke around in its nether regions. Oh, yes, there was searching.

Erin exclaims, “There’s no penis! This is not my cat!”

Cat thinks, “WTF? Buy me dinner first.”

Ellen at this point is crying so hard that tears and snot are running down her face. Erin opens the door and shoos the grifter cat out faster than Maria Shriver gave the boot to the Terminator.

We can’t make this mess up. Erin has two “real” cats. She had previously taken one to the vet because he was losing his fur. The vet diagnosed anxiety. Do you think this could be the reason…

Meow

 

Anxiety!?! Yeah, I got anxiety! My backside is a balding mess! There's been a strange cat living in my house! And no one knew! Thank goodness for Ellen and her mad genetic knowledge!

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share it real good . . .
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on StumbleUponShare on RedditEmail this to someonePrint this page

10 Reasons Being A Kid with A Mom Who Blogs Rocks

It’s Monday Listicles time. This week is kid edition. The assignment was to list ten reasons why being a child is great. Or why it is not. It was up to us, so we talked to our kids.

We know our kids are some of the luckiest, most blessed kids on the planet. Pretty much everything about being a kid in one of our families rocks. When we asked them about their childhoods, most of them declined to comment (they were too busy running around enjoying this gorgeous spring weather), but we did hear some mutterings and complaints about the “stupid blog.” So, we’re going with that.  Erin and Ellen

 

       10 Reasons Being A Kid with A Mom Who Blogs Rocks

One…

someecards.com - My mother used to bake cookies with me...but now she blogs and I pretty much raise myself.

 

Two (Direct quote from Jellybean)

someecards.com - So, Mom. Is this how this blogging thing is going to go? You just stealing my genius?

 

Three…

someecards.com - Nows that she blogs, my mom talks to me in Twitter slang.

 

Four…

someecards.com - I'm not sure my mother remembers my real name anymore, so I've learned to respond to my blog alias.

 

Five…

someecards.com - My mom used to actually make arts and crafts with me. Now she just pins them to her Pinterest

 

Six…

someecards.com - Love having to wait for my mom to edit her blog one more time before I can use the computer for my book report.

 

Seven…

someecards.com - My mom use to make me pancakes, but now I get all of the cold cereal I can forage for because she is busy making someecards.

 

Eight…

someecards.com - Once upon a time, my mother read bedtime stories to me. Now she just reads her blogger friends' status updates.

 

Nine…

someecards.com - I haven't had a hot meal since my mom started artfully plating and photographing every dinner for Pinterest.

 

Ten…

someecards.com - I miss the days before the blog. You know. When I could talk to my mom without her writing down everything I say.

 

Head on over to Monday Listicles and read some other great blogs. Or better yet, write your own list and link it up.


Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share it real good . . .
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on StumbleUponShare on RedditEmail this to someonePrint this page

My sons, Eddie and Deacon, go to the same school. The other day they passed each other on the playground.

“Hi, Eddie!” 8 year old Deacon yelled across the playground.

“Hey, Roomie!” 4 year old Eddie yelled back.

There was much rejoicing from the teachers on the playground who ALL rushed to tell me after school. Erin

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share it real good . . .
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on Google+Share on StumbleUponShare on RedditEmail this to someonePrint this page