Tag Archives: camping

Big Love Camping: 5 Moms, 13 Kids, and a Gazillion Memories

This was the sixth year of our annual Big Love camping trip! The gist is a bunch of moms (us plus three friends) gather a bunch of kids (mostly our own, but there are some tag-a-longs) and go to the biggest ol’ cabin/conference center in Janes Island State Park, near Crisfield, MD.

Now we realize the name Big Love may give you an entirely new opinion of us, so just check out how it all–more or less innocently–began here. There’s even Ellen’s first and last attempt at drawing a cartoon. You don’t want to miss that. It’s like a collector’s item without any value or the ability to collect it.

In addition, we are pretty sick and tired of the dazzlement fading in people’s eyes when we tell them we stay in a cabin. It’s not luxury people. You can check out our accommodations here. BE IMPRESSED WITH US. THIRTEEN. KIDS.

So as you can see, we’ve written about our experiences quite a bit. If you are left wanting even more back story, you can check out our additional mayhem, mishaps, and monkey business. The Pizza Hut story still has the ability to make Ellen snort laugh, and she generally does not find Italian food particularly amusing.

So what is there left to write? Well, this year our trip (almost) coincided with BonBon Break (an online magazine for the modern mom) asking us to take over its Instagram feed for its Slice of Summer (#bonbonbreaksos) series.

We were allotted eight photos to tell our story and since our mommas taught us manners, we started with an introduction. We shared a split screen of us–our “made an effort” personas and our “in the wild” selves. Let’s just say the “made an effort” sighting is rare indeed.

Next came Vicky, Mary, and Laura, our three other partners in crime or fellow looney bin wardens, depending on the way you look at it. Mary was a sorority girl like Ellen and always makes us do the heart pose. ~~Semi~~-ironically, of course. The backdrop for this photo is the view from our cabin: the beautiful Janes Island channel and marsh.

This photo is proof positive this trip is sacred to us. Mary was being treated for early Lyme disease and was suffering from the sun sensitivity of doxycycline, but that didn’t stop her from joining in on fun at the Tangier Sound beach in Crisfield. She even made it look gorgeous in a Monet-esque sort of way.

If the last picture belongs in the Louvre, this one would be more at home introducing a music video, specifically Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Shot on location in Assateague.

Our girls weren’t the only wild things on Assateague; there were the legendary ponies too. This blonde beauty actually looks like it’s in the middle of the wilderness, but it’s really just resting after pilfering a beach bag. They were there first after all–since the 1600’s. If they want the Cheez-its, they are going to take the Cheez-its, dangnabbit.

We didn’t spend all of our time at the beach. There was plenty of quiet moments spent exploring around our cabin. The “Littles” loved searching for periwinkles.

Canoeing is another tradition of Big Love. Warning: Don’t ask our girls if they like it unless you enjoy teenage angst raining down upon you. They don’t appreciate (yet) just how good they have it. The smiles in Erin’s canoe tell the real story . . . or at least the one we’re sticking to.

But the girls are totally into jumping from piers. We ended our reign of the BonBon Break feed with this epic shot

Seriously, we should be in a Country Time Lemonade commercial, right?

Well, maybe.

There were the Instagram moments of our trip–that all really happened, shut up. And then there were ALL of the other moments of our trip, the B-side if you will (and if you’re old enough to remember vinyl records). Moments such as this one:

Big Love Camping - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We think the word y’all are looking for to describe this photo is “purdy.”

Oh and we started the trip off with a particular child of a particular mom locking the car keys in the trunk during our first stop at Tuckahoe. (All names are withheld to protect the not-so-innocent-and-most-definitely-scatterbrained.)

Good times. Good times.

Here are our lovely and appreciative offspring accommodating our desire to take one lousy group photo.

So funny. Wait, does funny mean the same as exasperating?

And while the picture of the pony on the dune we shared on Instagram was the best shot, there were many pictures snapped to get that perfect one. We submit for your viewing pleasure the photo voted “Most Likely to Make a 10 Year Old Boy Snicker.”

A majestic creature taking a majestic dump.

A majestic creature majestically relieving itself.

Admit it. You giggled, too, but we’re done horsing around. (Get it??) We’re going to leave you with our silver lining. Because of all the fun, we forgot to orchestrate the S’more Sticky Time Jamboree until the last night . . . and then it stormed. All was ruined!

But five resourceful moms armed with smartphones and the power of Google cannot be foiled by rain and lightning. We discovered the ease and joy of making S’mores in the oven. No sharp pointy, gooey sticks! No burn unit roulette with the Littles! No crying over marshmallows lost in the flames! We are converts. We have vowed to plan S’mores Time for rainy nights from now on.

Oven S’mores

Ingredients

Graham crackers, Hershey Chocolate Bars, and Marshmallows (duh)

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Lay half of graham cracker squares on a cookie sheet.
Top each square with chocolate pieces to cover and a marshmallow.
Place in oven for about 3 to 5 minutes or until marshmallows puff up and are golden brown. Watch them constantly. Things can go from perfect to burned in a moment.
Remove from oven and quickly top with the remaining graham squares. Smoosh it good, real good.

Until next year, enjoy!

Ellen and Erin

Camping with 13 kids: The Instagram Moments vs. The B-Side Ones

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Oven S’mores! No Flame. No more Burn Unit Roulette. #recipe

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Big Love Camping: Camera Angles Are Key

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Yep, we did it again. We took our annual “Big Love” camping trip. Did your eyebrows just raise at Big Love? Like the naming of race horses and 7th children, the label developed organically by accident, but we’ve explained that all before. What we really like ~~bragging~~ waxing poetic about is 5 moms handling 13 kids (plus or minus 5 depending on teen work schedules and cousins joining in the fun).

Ellen: In fact, we were just regaling your sister with our stories. Your sister, who I finally got to meet. I swear you were deliberately keeping her from me.

Erin: I knew that if you met her, you’d be over me. Like, “Why bother with Erin when I can hang out with THIS wonderful woman.”

Ellen: She is pretty fabulous, but I’m not over you yet, Buttercup. I always comfort myself with the fact that you have to put up with me and my utterly joyful ways, too.

No, it’s more like I would like to be adopted as the third sister. Besides, she does live over 5 hours away. You’re worth it for your geographical convenience alone.

Erin: And you’re worth it for keepin’ it real . . .

Ellen: Which brings us back to sharing our Big Love stories with your sister.

Erin: Ah, yes, when we were talking about the park service taking away one of our refrigerators . . .

Ellen: And she put her hands up like a crossing guard protecting the lives of sweet babies from the fast and furious Humvee motorists of America and proclaimed:

“Wait a minute! I feel like I’ve been deceived. You have been misrepresenting.”

And I believe your reply was a classic doe-eyed Erin:

“What?”

Erin: Yeah, that fueled her fire a bit. Her voice may have risen in pitch as she continued:

“I see pictures of Keens and canoeing and campfires, but you have a kitchen!?!”

Ellen: Well, I didn’t help matters when I added:

“And bathrooms. But only three and they’re like all mismatched and have avocado green toilets.”

Erin: And THAT is when her head exploded.

Ellen: But because I AM a big believer in keeping it real, I reviewed our pictures. We were mostly posting things like this.

Keens: Serious footwear for serious camping.

And this.

Mary: Spokesmodel for Serious Camping

Erin: Yeah, that doesn’t look like the face of a woman who got to use indoor plumbing, even if it was avocado green.

Ellen: And there is a tent and camper in the background. I guess they could be misconstrued as ours.

Erin: OK, since I love my sister . . .

Ellen: We love your sister . . .

Erin: Since WE love my sister and care what she thinks, we’re swinging the camera around to show you behind the scenes.

Ellen: Really we’re just posting other pictures, but what Erin said had so much more flair.

The Other Side of Big Love

The first thing to clarify is where we stay. It’s a “conference center” which when translated from state park-ese means “really strangely configured two story house.” In our defense, we never claimed to be backpacking in and pitching tents. We even posted a video where you can see the house in the background, but whatever. Let’s take a tour now. Shall we?

The building apparently has a name that is so iconic, someone carved it into the tables. Is it “Downton Abbey” or “Fancy Pants Camping Hotel?” NO! It’s called The Shanty. Still accusing us of “glamping” now?

Glamorous + Camping = “Glamping,” NOT “The Shanty.”

And here is the exterior.

Ok. So it kinds looks like a big comfortable house.

OK. So it kinda looks like a big comfortable house.

But there are only 4 bedrooms for 20 some people because of a HUGE open room upstairs.

Yeah, it echoes. Awesome feature at 5 AM.

Just look at that room filled up with kids! Are you going to accuse us of indulging in relaxing luxury now??

Which takes more skill to handle? A bear in the woods or these beasts?

Which takes more courage to face? A bear in the woods or these beasts?

And look how the kids were crammed in the bunk rooms.

That is a whole lot of girl shoe-horned in one room

Ellen even had to sleep in a closet.

Ellen had to run an extension cord to power her purple fan. Resourceful is her middle name.

Ellen had to run an extension cord to power her purple fan. Sheesh. And to top it all, she had to use her pink suitcase to keep her pillow from falling off of the bed.

And there was NOT a cappuccino machine. For froth, we had to heat the milk in the microwave and beat it with a whisk. A microwave, we said! Oh the civility!

That is the chocolate for the s’mores that we’re grating on top of our lattes. It’s hard to get more rustic than that.

But we weren’t kidding or exaggerating about the bugs.

You know it’s serious when you’re willing to wear something that looks like THIS to keep the bugs away.

Or the fact that we’re communing with nature in the most outdoorsy of ways.

This is why we do it, folks!

Erin: So, in the end, we weren’t really misrepresenting so much as cherishing the best and most important aspects of the trip. We were sharing the essence of our experience.

Ellen: Nice spin, but now that we are coming clean and offering full disclosure, we should also add that in addition to the above-mentioned, we also have air-conditioning, an industrial-sized fridge, and a crockpot.

We had to walk out to the end of the dock to get reception to call for pizza delivery!

We had to walk out to the end of the dock to get reception to call for that pizza delivery!

Erin: But we are still herding cats, I mean kids, through various sundry outdoor adventures and that is not a feat for the faint-hearted.

Them there’s a lot o’ kids!

Erin: But it’s all worth it for the stories alone.

Ellen: That’s what you keep telling me.

Erin: And on that note. . .

Our Sisterhood is what it’s all about.

–Ellen and Erin

What do you think? Does this count as camping or not?

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Park Quest and 1000 Dollars

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It’s time for our annual Big Love adventure! Five mommas and 14 kids need some serious supplies for a “camping” (quotes because we’re staying in a state park conference center) “vacation” (quotes because this is a family trip, NOT a vacation). We thought for giggles, we would give ourselves a $1000 limit.

Shopping List for Big Love Park Quest

1. Food

You go through a lot of marhmallows when your toasters are this good.

We’re feeding a small army, people! And when we don’t plan properly our wallets and our arses get bitten.

There was the time we thought we planned, but the Pizza Hut Erin meticulously mapped out for us to stop at was closed. We’re not talking we arrived after business hours; we’re talking the windows were boarded up and the letters were pried off the roof. Friendly’s made their sales quota on us that day.

Then there was the time Erin told us there would be a place to get chicken on the way home from the beach (you guessed it, it was closed, but only regular closed) and Ellen spent an hour driving around looking for food. It was like a Christmas Miracle when she found the McDonald’s in the middle of NOWHERE. If only she had a star or GPS to follow that day. $80 later, the hysterically hungry troops were fed. With greasy crap. Oy.

And yes, we’re starting to realize Erin might have a wee bit o’ the Pied Piper in her soul.

2. Hydration

6 x $17.99 = $107.94 spent to protect Mother Earth. Yes, we will accept that Nobel Prize now.

We keep trying to find an economical and earth friendly way to keep us all hydrated. Drinking the tap water: bleh! Cases of bottled water: fail!

This year we are bringing big jugs of water and reusable water bottles. While this is going to be earth friendlier, we’re not sure about cheaper. Erin spent $17.99 on indestructible stainless steel bottles for her and her five kids.

As Erin’s husband Steve quipped, “Lost trumps indestructible.” We’ll see how this goes.

3. Sunscreen

Imagine it!

We are serious about protecting our babies from melanoma and that shizz is expensive. It might be cheaper to rent cabana boys to carry umbrellas over our heads. And sexier.

4. Mosquito Repellent

When skeeters are this big…

My favorite is O-

..this only makes ’em proclaim, “You taste Skintastic!”

Like icing on a cake. A blood filled cake. Ellen just didn’t know.

So since Agent Orange is illegal…

That’s 40% DEET MoFos!

Not Erin’s kit, but close. What’s up with the whisk, though? In case you want to whip up a souffle while waiting for the paramedics?

5. Band-Aids

You just can’t prevent the boo-boos. One year, Erin assured us that she had first aid covered because her son had made a mega kit in Boy Scouts.

So upon the first whimper about the first blister, she whipped out her suitcase of a kit, her eyes shining brightly with pride. If Ellen had needed to set a broken bone, the tools were there, but NOT ONE FREAKIN” BAND-AID was to be found! Apparently, her family had pilfered the bandages out without replacing them. Boy Scout no-no.

Her son limped away with the plaster cast Ellen fashioned, but we ALL buy Band-Aids now. And yes, Erin’s Pied Piper-ness is not lost on us. Again.

Gas to get to Dick’s: $8.00 Three pairs of adult sized Keens: $239.97 Comfy feet: Priceless

6. Keens

With the blisters comes the knowledge that cheap footwear is well, cheap. We have even tried not so cheap alternatives from Land’s End, but Ellen ended up with inflamed plantar fasciitis. So Ellen was thrilled when Laura called to tell her Keens were on sale for $30 at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Yeaaaaah, that was for children’s sizes and Ellen sadly learned that even her youngest wears a women’s size now. Mastercard loves her.

7. Kayaking Outfits

Okay, so maybe “kayaking outfits” makes us sound as authentic as Project Runway contestants hitting the Great Outdoors, but it’s a joke stemming from the teasing lavished on Ellen when she showed up in her cute little kayaking clothes. But she knew proper performance clothes meant she’d still be happy at the end of the day. Everyone laughed and made merry, but Ellen had the last laugh 7 hours later when she was the only one to dodge the chafing and diaper rash bullet. She ended up sitting pretty. Get it?

Dry in 15 minutes.

Begging for Desitin 7 hours later

8. SD cards

We know, we know, you can reuse them, but we take a lot of pictures. Erin, Mary, and Laura are fabulous at managing their photos.

But Ellen and Vickie? Not so much. We have been tripped up driving all over hell and creation looking for SD cards. So we stock up.

We’re not asking for donations, so stop judging. We mean it.

9. Gasquest

Not that kind of gas. The term for that is “Fartquest” as coined by Mary’s family, fueled by salsa and chips. We’re talking about what makes our mini-van regatta go vroom. Maryland is no Texas in terms of square footage, but we’re traveling from the top of the Chesapeake Bay to the bottom. Not. Cheap.