Tag Archives: DIY

Halloween Monster Donuts DIY

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This amazingly adorable Halloween treat is incredibly easy if, IF, you heed one crucial step. Follow along and you’ll be well on your way to delighting children of all ages. Seriously, being the “best mother ever,” (that was a direct quote) is just a trip to the donut shop away.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

So I can hear what you’re thinking: “What directions could there possible be to follow? Get some donuts, candy eyes, icing, and vampire teeth and throw them all together.” Oh, simple one, I thought the same things, too. I saw the pictures floating around the internet and thought “I can do that.”

So I hit the shops to gather my ingredients, only when I got to Dunkin’ Donuts, they were a little low on donuts. Probably because it was 2:00 PM, but whatever. I had planned on getting three dozen chocolate glazed cake donuts because that was what my daughter requested, but alas, I had to make do with what the breakfast crowd left behind. I ended up with a dozen glazed and two other dozen cobbled together with chocolate glazed, pumpkin, and chocolate iced. I’ve learned as a mother to go with the flow because sometimes it’s the flow that keeps you afloat. You’ll see what I mean in a minute.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

I had a speedier time in Michaels Craft Store. It being the first day of fall and all, the slime green icing, candy eyes, and vampire fangs were right up front. Yeah, nevermind they had been up front since August. I guess I should be glad they weren’t sold out.

In no time I was home and on my way to creating my cyclops monsters . The first box of donuts I opened happened to be the complete dozen of glazed.

I soon figured out it was helpful to pinch the fangs like so to insert them into the center.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

For attaching the eye, I put a big glob of icing on the back because I wanted it to ooze out the sides.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Voilà!

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

So onto the next dozen! I went through the same procedure, except I stopped halfway through the box because I needed to switch the laundry over. Couldn’t just be making treats for the field hockey team, I needed to wash my girl’s uniform, too. Minutes later, I came back to a horror show! The fangs had sprung open to break the donuts.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Are you kidding me? I “glued” the donuts back together with some slime icing and ended up just laying the fangs on top of the other ones. Not quite as cute, but not bad either.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

KEY TO SUCCESS: The type of donut matters! Use classic glazed donuts because they have enough spring and give to hold the teeth. Cake-like donuts crack and break apart!

I am so glad I was forced to buy so many glazed ones because they turned out the best. At least I had a bunch of those!

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

May your treats not play any tricks on you!

-Ellen 

Apparently, we are all about the donuts here. Check out these posts, too.

Doughnut New Years Eve Tradition

Make a Donut Bouquet

 

Hey! Want to buy our new book? I Just Want to Be Perfect brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.

I Just Want to Be Perfect

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0


Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be oppressed by their diabolical ways.

Okay, maybe that is a bit dramatic.  Anyway . . .

I enjoy, crave, and need coffee, but I am often running short on time. When I was gifted a Keurig with its magical ability to deliver delicious coffee in minutes, it was this procrastinating caffeine addict’s dream come true. So when that one went kaput after years of service, I trotted out to buy a new one without one lick of research. The only thing on the shelf was the Keurig 2.0 and I thought, “Two point O? Fantastic! This will be even better!”

Except the 2.0 didn’t mean improved, it meant more proprietary. Seems the company’s K-Cup patent expired in 2012 and copycat K-Cups sprang up to take a bite out of Keurig’s profits. In response, Keurig developed the 2.0 that has a sensor to pick up the technology they embedded in the newly patented, next generation K-Cups.

Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This means old cups don’t work in your new machine even if they were designed by Keurig. Put an unlicensed or 1.0 K-Cup in your machine and you get this annoyingly cutesy message.

Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Okay, so no big deal. I only had three Earl Grey cups that weren’t working . . . or so I thought.

It all came to a head the weekend the Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms hosted a book signing party for Jessica and Norine from the illustrated humor blog, Science of Parenthood, to celebrate the release of Science of Parenthood: Thoroughly Unscientific Explanations for Utterly Baffling Parenting Solutions.

Science of Parenthood - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

The ladies are from out of town so they spent the night at my house, and because my momma raised me right, I gave them full access to the Keurig with a refreshed and overflowing basket of K-Cups. I was feeling pretty smug about being a good hostess until I heard them call from the kitchen:

“Hey, none of these coffee things are working!”

Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Jessica is rightfully sad.

I have a penchant for buying in bulk at warehouse stores, but I lack the gumption and desire to rotate my stock. Seems I had just been dumping new K-Cups onto the old, but we had finally reached the bottom of the barrel so to speak. There were at least three dozen K-Cups that weren’t going to work in my machine. Now THAT is a big deal.

But there is a way around it! You just need heavy-duty scissors and scotch tape.

It’s really pretty simple. You just need to cut out the “ring” of a 2.0 K-cup. (There is also a gizmo you can buy on Amazon called a Freedom Clip, but I have not tested out how that works.)

Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

You need to make sure to cut away the ridge or it will not fit in the machine.

Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Cut the foil out of the ring and just tape it on. While you really need to cut neatly, the taping is not as finicky. Just make sure the ring is seated on the cup and that you don’t tape across the center.

Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

It worked! (To date, I have been able to brew ten cups of coffee with the one ring I cut out.)

Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

And Jessica and Norine celebrated!

Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

You know what would go great with that cup of coffee? Jess and Norine’s new book! These comic geniuses take all the highs and lows of parenting, apply the sciences to them, illustrate them up, and churn out humor we all can relate to.

Need an example? Check out this magnet gracing my refrigerator.

Science of Parenthood Inspired a Life Hack | Easy Hack to Use Any K-Cup in Your Keurig 2.0. This is a story of capitalism, big coffee, and the woman who would not be thwarted. |DIY | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

You can get your very own copy of their book on Amazon.

Science of Parenthood: These comic geniuses take all the highs and lows of parenting, apply the sciences to them, illustrate them up, and churn out humor we all can relate to.

Happy Reading and Coffee Drinking!

Ellen

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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DIY Picnic Table to Coffee Table Transformation

Settle in kids for a little DIY story time. This tale has it all: love, villains, triumph, and transformation. And contrived drama. Much contrived drama.

DIY Picnic Table to Coffee Table Transformation -- A tale of reusing, recycling, and rebirth with a touch of design. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Once upon a time, there was a family who needed a table and chairs for their deck that would not crash through their sliding glass doors when the occasional hurricane would blow through. This family knew they were abysmal at battening down the hatches, but that’s okay because there is beauty in self-realization. They searched high and they searched low, and when they found this solid beauty, it was love at first sight.

DIY Picnic Table to Coffee Table Transformation -- A tale of reusing, recycling, and rebirth with a touch of design. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

The family and the table got along famously. For the table’s part, it stayed firmly rooted in its spot, and for the lackadaisical family’s part, they managed to powerwash and stain it every now and again. For over a decade the table saw sunshine and it saw rain. It was there for birthday parties, cookouts, and even wintertime fun.

DIY Picnic Table to Coffee Table Transformation -- A tale of reusing, recycling, and rebirth with a touch of design. Sisterhood of the Sensible MomsBut alas, even solid picnic tables can fall in with some questionable characters. Villains come in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes they even buzz.

DIY Picnic Table to Coffee Table Transformation -- A tale of reusing, recycling, and rebirth with a touch of design. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

I guess the question really begs, is the table to blame for letting it happen or did I turn a blind eye to the warning signs and let the table be victimized? Either way, carpenter bees swarmed into our life and pegged the underbelly of our table as prime burrowing grounds.

But as with all good tales and truly, in life itself, our villains were not all evil. True, carpenter bees tunnel and weaken unfinished wood, but they are also helluva good pollinators. They earned my clemency, but as you will see, it was not without a price.

I put the pesticides away and opted to plug up the holes during the cold months, just like the internet told me to. However, like Lindsay Lohan with traffic court, the bees would not, could not, stay away. I knew it was time to say good-bye to my old friend when a section of benches basically just crumbled.

Our tale was about to take a dark turn because it was with a heavy heart and many tools that I . . . went to town dismantling the table. Evidently, my sentimentality runs shallow when faced with the prospect of demolishing with abandon. With only a whack of a rubber mallet, several more of the benches and supports crumbled. But then I noticed something; the table top itself was solid and untouched.

I could not sentence a perfectly good tabletop to scrap. I was going to create the patio coffee table of my dreams with the added glory of repurposing, recycling, and reusing! Cue the swelling heroic soundtrack and the spectacular shazam glow around my person! Du-du-duh!

In just a few minutes I removed the screws attaching the top to the base, lifted it off, and proceeded to saw off part of the supports to use for coffee table legs. This project was only going to cost me a can of stain! Score!

DIY Picnic Table to Coffee Table Transformation -- A tale of reusing, recycling, and rebirth with a touch of design. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

See how I just used the crossbeam support as a cutting guide? It was pretty easy to just saw it off with the handsaw. HOWEVER, in my enthusiasm, I didn’t really test the wood that well for integrity, and while the first piece I cut was solid, one of the other potential legs was not. Wah, wah.

But I only had to buy one board costing seven bucks, and with the one leg I cut off as a guide, I was able to whip out four new table legs with my chop saw in under five minutes. I just went ahead and cut four new legs because I was afraid the new wood would take stain differently than the old wood.

DIY Picnic Table to Coffee Table Transformation -- A tale of reusing, recycling, and rebirth with a touch of design. Sisterhood of the Sensible MomsI attached the legs through the original screw holes. Since I had some on hand, I used new deck screws. If you do opt for new fasteners, make sure they are rated for outside use so they can survive the elements. And speaking of the elements, make sure to use an outdoor stain like this Olympic Maximum that I had custom tinted to Cinder. It had great coverage, even with a foam brush.

DIY Picnic Table to Coffee Table Transformation -- A tale of reusing, recycling, and rebirth with a touch of design. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

While indoor stains have a seductive rainbow of colors, they won’t last outdoors. I was satisfied with this gray because I just wanted some contrast and pop against the tan and red of my rug.

DIY Picnic Table to Coffee Table Transformation -- A tale of reusing, recycling, and rebirth with a touch of design. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

I also made sure to stain the underside since the internet told me carpenter bees like unfinished wood. I can just here them buzzing, “Curses! Foiled again!”

DIY Picnic Table to Coffee Table Transformation -- A tale of reusing, recycling, and rebirth with a touch of design. Sisterhood of the Sensible MomsI finished up the look with some pillows I got from Lowe’s to tie the gray, red, and green together. It’s just so pretty and comfy out on my deck now. Don’t you just love a happy ending?

THE END

Afterword:

The hero admits her foible. I wish I had shopped around more for pillows–in particular these. I was hot to get this project done, and apparently two-day Prime shipping was just too long to wait. I am completely regretting my impulsive impatience. But you can get them on Amazon through this affiliate link here. They are SO CUTE!

-Ellen

pillows

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How To Use Those Busted Pool Noodles

It’s the end of the summer. A summer that was filled with a ton of pool fun like this:

Pool fun leads to broken pool noodles. Here's what to do with them. - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Ellen’s ool. Hopefully filled with toys and awesomeness and no “P.” Get it??

 

But such fun is not without its casualties.

Casualties of Summer: Wrists and pool noodles. - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Ellen’s oldest.

Not this sort of casualty. This happened on dry land playing volleyball.

No, I’m talking about the pile of pulverized pool toys baking on my driveway. The toys that gave all the good times they could until they cracked under the pressure. Literally. And no one takes it on the chin like the noble noodle. Amiright?

How to Use Those Busted Pool Noodles - SIsterhood of the Sensible Moms

They’re so cheap it’s easy to think of them as disposable, but burying them in a landfill isn’t exactly earth friendly. Why not recycle broken pool noodles instead? Give them a second life by burying them in the bottom of your large pots to provide drainage. Your plants won’t droop from soggy roots and you’ll feel pretty darn clever, too.

Use Pool Noodles in Your DIY Container Gardening - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

In the past I used packing peanuts, but they are hard to come by nowadays. Amazon always uses those air pillows. And forget about using gravel. I need to work out, but I don’t need to throw my back out.

Use Pool Noodles in Your DIY Container Gardening - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Use Pool Noodles in Your DIY Container Gardening - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Use Pool Noodles in Your DIY Container Gardening - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And voilà! Your pool is a more beautiful place. Not only do you have gorgeous flowers to add that pop of color, you no longer have piles of nasty broken noodles. A sensible mom would say that is a win-win.

-Ellen

 

 

 

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We Are Just Great, Really

This week on Monday Listicles the wonderful writer behind the Bonny Bard, Mrs. M, challenged us to make a list of  “10 Reasons I Am Great.” We have tangoed with this tough-y a couple of times. While we are just fine with self-revelation and self-promotion (we are bloggers after all), we are not particularly comfortable with high-fiving or back-patting ourselves. In the past we have two-stepped around this problem by writing glowing words about each other or by asking our kids what they thought of us.

But this time, we are going to bite the proverbial bullet and play it straight. Or at least straight-ish.

Ten Reasons We Are Great

 1. We are sexy beasts.

Caution: You might not be ready for our Hawt-ness

 

Ellen: Okay, immediately after agreeing that we were just going to say nice things about ourselves, we both went scrambling for an escape hatch.  Unbeknownst to each other, we both turned to our husbands and asked them what they thought was fabulous about us.

Erin: They both (separately) came up with some very nice things to say about us that quickly slid into the land of raunch.

Ellen: We did not share these little gems with each other, so don’t even think for a second we are going to share them with you and the interwebz.

Erin: You’re welcome, Children.

Ellen: Mmmmm, we might have negated any gratitude that may have come our way by calling ourselves “Sexy Beasts.”

2. We have great party tricks.

Erin: We are part of a larger circle of friends who all read. A lot. They all seem kind of impressed that I can remember the authors and titles of books that I have read days, months, and even years later. 

Ellen: And I can save your life with the uncanny amount of knowledge I retained from medical school.

Erin: You are always going to win with that one. Whatever. I also make a darn good chocolate chip cookie.

3. We are the Yin and Yang for crazy people.

Erin: I attract them like bees to honey. And I am oblivious to their crazy.

Ellen: And I detect them. And tell her to run.

"someecards.com

4. We have other Sixth Sense Superpowers.

Ellen: I constantly catch Erin in the shower with my phone calls. Either she is constantly showering so it increases my odds or it is truly a sixth sense.

Erin: I’m just happy she’s not clairvoyant because if she could see me in the shower, well, that would just be awkward.

5. We are DIY powerhouses.

Erin: To be clear, I am a DIY optimist, which is not exactly the same thing. I have great intentions and vision, but you know what they say about the best intentions. . . The example that proves the rule is the time our friend Mary and I decided to make some t-shirts (20 to be exact) for our great camping adventure. Without calling Ellen.

We actually said, “How hard can it be?” before plunging into our ambitious, yet misguided attempt to iron-on an emblem AND numbers AND THEN tie-dye them. Remember what I said about vision? Anyway, despite spending a lot of time and money, we still ended up short on blue dye and half the numbers peeled off. We also spent a lot of time saying, “We should have called Ellen.”

Ellen: And I did this. Do not hold the time frame it took to get it done against me.

6. Photography Junkies

Ellen: I can really more accurately be described as a photograph hoarder. I take pictures by the thousands, but I’m not exactly a superstar at sharing them. It has been over a year since I made a photo book, and I can’t remember the last time I printed a picture. I haven’t even put Halloween pictures up on my Facebook account.

Erin: I am actually pretty enthusiastic about the sharing. I make photo books every year — for myself and for gifts, too. I have even coerced my brothers and sister into creating a calendar every year that has become one of the most anticipated parts of our Christmas festivities.

So it pains me, truly, to say that I have lost my camera bag. Am I hyperventilating?  I still have my camera — thank-you-for-small-blessings — but the bag is G-O-N-E. Gone.  Thank goodness that all of my closest friends have the same camera and I can borrow their chargers from time to time.

Ellen: This disappearance has stressed me out so much that I have searched my garage 3 times out of fear that I somehow snagged it.

7.  We’re still talking to each other.

Erin: Running a blog together can be hard. . .

Ellen: And sometimes we felt like the new kids . . .

Erin: But, overall, it has made us stronger . So far, we are still friends, it’s still fun, and, as Ellen likes to say, people should hire us to figure out that mess in the Middle East. Seriously, we have mad skills in diplomacy.

Ellen: So far . . .

8. We rock mealtimes.

Erin: One day many moons ago we all met at Ellen’s house for an Easter Egg hunt and recipe swap. Ellen is the hostess extraordinaire and she knows how to party. She seriously hid over 400 eggs on her three acre lot. The fabulous upside was that it kept the 20 plus kiddos busy long enough to rock my family’s world. Seriously. I took home a folder full of every other family’s go-to recipes, and suddenly we weren’t rotating the same five meals any more.

Our friend Mary kicked it up a notch when she introduced me to the idea of planning our meals ahead of time. When I went back to work part-time this fall, getting dinner on the table was the one ball I had no trouble still keeping up in the air. I already had a system.

The book that made the magic happen!!

 

Ellen: And if the crockpot is not your friend, make nice now. Nothing is better than walking into the house after a long day to find your meal ready and waiting. It is a life saver on sports practice nights. I can sense some of you muttering, “But crockpot meals are gross.” Well, take notice because I have a Healthy French Country Crockpot Chicken recipe that will make you a believer.

9. We have a true Sisterhood.

Erin: Ellen and I are the bloggers, but the stories, the friendship, and the adventures we write about are shared with a larger network of women. We travel together, share books and recipes and funny stories, raise our kids together, and basically figure it all out together. 

This isn’t everybody, but nobody has brought a camera to book club. . .yet.

 

Ellen: We said it before, and we really, really mean it. Parenting in isolation is not a good idea. We feel so blessed to have all of the women in our lives who have made this mothering journey easier. They keep us happy, fed, and sane.

Erin: They also keep us honest.

Ellen: And on that note. . .

10. We are not vain.

Photographic evidence. Or maybe we really are sexy beasts. Hmmm. . .

 

Thanks, Sisterhood, for making sure we have fodder, photographic and otherwise, for the blog. Together with our kids and our husbands, you are a big part of what makes us great.

Another thing that makes us great is our weekly date with Stasha at Monday Listicles. Her link-up is always a great place to start the week. Check it out!

 

 

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A Guide For Procrastinators On How To Complete a Pinterest Worthy Project

I’m a DIY sort of person — not on the scale of building decks or patching roofs, but let’s just say one Christmas my husband gave me a sapphire bracelet and a compound miter saw. When the toilet needs to be fixed or the cabinets need to be moved so the new refrigerator can fit in the old opening, I’m the gal for the job.  And woe to the unprepared repairman who asks my husband to borrow a tool. He will just be redirected back to the “little lady” he strode past to get to the man of the house.

Unfortunately, my hot dish of competence comes with a heaping side of procrastination and a big dollop of perfectionism dripping off the plate onto Grandma’s heirloom tablecloth. It’s a double whammy, Folks. Getting started on a project is as easy for me as getting the cat to cut our grass on the Fourth of July.

“But the perfectionism is a good thing, Ellen! A perfect project is what you want, right?” you say.

Well, thanks for being my enabler, but no. My meticulousness does not spring from a bottomless well. I waste so much energy in the beginning with precision that I often fail to cross the finish line. Seriously, it’s like I’m inches from breaking the tape and I’m liked, “Meh, I ran 12.9 miles. Good enough. I think I’ll go have a margarita. And start another race.”

This towel hangs in my bathroom next to the tub with the surround I built and installed . . . with the nail holes still unfilled.

 

But the project I’m sharing with you today is epic and finished (well, it will be by the time I post this — fingers crossed). And epic is not hyperbole. This project spanned two centuries.

 

A Gazillion Steps to Finishing Two Lingerie Chests

Now don’t get all hot and bothered. I don’t have enough lingerie to fill two pieces of furniture. It’s just what they’re called and these are the drawers that would fit on either side of the TV armoire . . . a piece of furniture that is now obsolete and needs to go because we want a bigger flat screen. But the easiest way to get it out would be to take an ax to it and I don’t have that kind of violence simmering within me right now.

Anyway, back to my project that begins at the turn of the century in 1999 . . .

The Steps

1. Buy two unfinished pieces of furniture because you want to be creative and do something special with them.

2. Realize that your time would be wasted doing something special with them because there is no Facebook or Pinterest on which to show them off. Incidentally, you discover you are pregnant with your second child and think huffing hydrocarbons would not be the responsible thing to do.

3. Put chests in storage for 13 years. Wait for social media to take the world by storm.

4. Rejoice that there is Pinterest and remember that you have a project to complete. Remembering is not hard since you have to climb over these drawers every year to excavate the Christmas decorations.

5. Pin all the things to make these chests ever-loving fabulous!

6. Decide to haul drawers out of the basement to the garage in May 2012. This is not only the end of the school year, but the end of two milestone school years — my oldest graduating from 8th grade and my youngest graduating from 5th grade. My calendar looked like this.

Believe me, even when it wasn’t blurred to protect the innocent, it was hard to follow.

 

7. Fail to get drawers completed — and by completed, I mean started — before school ends.

8. Spend summer having fun and not parking in the garage. Beat down anxiety as junk slowly creeps into the space where the car use to be.

9. Kids are back in school! Clear out garage to get to the drawers. This only takes a day or 15.

The creep is strong in this house it is.

 

10. Search through stash to see if you have anything with which to complete this project. After all, DIY is supposed to be economical!

11. Find some pretty cream colored glazing stain. Remember that yes, this is what you wanted to do with the chests. But alas the jar is tiny and the company that made it went out of business. Mourn the loss because you’re sure it would have worked really well. Since they were good enough to stay in business and all.

12. Say, “Patooey! This project has been over a decade in the making, but I don’t have time for that whole staining process. To the Home Depot for spray paint!”

13. Buy a case of spray paint because you are NOT going to get burned with that whole “going out of business” thing again. No siree. Spend a mortgage payment on drawer pulls while you’re there.

14. It is time to start sanding. Whoopee! Nothing is more fun than scraping your knuckles and breathing in sawdust. Pull out the first drawer and find the knobs you bought a lifetime ago — my youngest daughter’s lifetime that is. They are perfect, but this leads you to the next chore . . .

15. Return the recently purchased knobs to Home Depot. Celebrate your new found fortune . . . until you write your mortgage check.

Hawt

16. Put on a super cute outfit and commence sanding.  Make sure you do it well and go with the grain. My furniture was bare so I started with a fine grit sanding sponge.  Sanding is the foundation to a great finish. (REAL TIP ALERT!)

17. Search for a tack cloth to remove the dust, the next step to a smooth finish. For some reason you can’t find one on your work bench.

It’s so puzzling why I can’t find anything.

 

18. Declare, “I am NOT going back to Home Depot.” Wipe chests with a damp cloth and raise the grain of the wood. Anyone who knows the term “raising the grain” should not be stupid enough to do it. (REAL TIP ALERT: Raising the grain means to make the wood fibers swell up. It can be a good idea to do this if you are staining a piece because you swell the fibers and can sand them down BEFORE you start to stain. If you’re using spray paint, this step just sucks away your time and patience.)

19. Begin sanding process again. Skulk to Home Depot to buy a $1.79 tack cloth. Spend $20 on pansies while you’re there because, you know, you need another project.

20. REAL TIP ALERT: Prime the chests using a color close to your final color. I used a red brown since my final color was a metallic copper.

Smoothing with a paper bag

21. Start spraying your layers of final color. REAL TIP ALERT: Follow the directions on the can exactly. You can do a couple of light coats within ONE HOUR, but not too many or your paint will start to sag. After that one hour passes you have to wait 48 hours for the next coat. Really. The key to a good spray paint finish is for the finish to cure and harden rather than remain gummy. In between dry coats, buff the surface lightly with a paper bag to smooth it before you start spray painting again.

Rock on

22. Pretend you’re a quirky pop star with your new metallic fingertip.

23. Repeat steps 21 and 22 until your piece is evenly finished. You may want to find something to pass the time while you are waiting for the paint to cure. I chose an emergency appendectomy, but use your own judgement.

24. Panic that Superstorm Sandy is coming and might flood your garage. Move drawers into living room.

Hit me up if you want some Feng Shui tips

 

25. Decide that this project has not dragged on long enough and you need to up the wow factor by upholstering the sides. Give yourself a hard deadline by scheduling a sleepover party with 14 tween girls for your daughter’s birthday.

26. Pattern match, measure, and cut the fabric and batting for the sides.

27. Allow yourself a moment to freak the hell out when you turn the furniture over and discover a bevvy of spider eggs cases. Resist setting the drawers on fire. You’ve come too far.

28. Staple! But first relocate your cat to another room so that she does not wrap herself around your head at the first <Whamp>.

29. Take a break until 2 days before the party. Make sure to include the stapler in your cleaning routine.

30. Get your butt in gear because you have a cake to bake! Finish the edges of the fabric panels with ribbon and brass tacks. Smash your fingers and destroy the “brass” finish on the tack with the first whack of the hammer.

31. REAL TIP ALERT: Remember the trick of holding the tack with a fork or comb and search for your tack hammer. For some reason, you still can’t find anything on your work bench. Pilfer the mouse pad that was included in your awesome prize basket that you won in the twisted crafting contest sponsored by The Bearded Iris and The Suniverse and wrap it around the only hammer out of five that you can find.

32. Voila! Five hours later you’re finished!

 

That Was Easy.

Thanks to Robyn at Hollow Tree Ventures for inspiring me to chronicle my DIY efforts with her hilarious post “How To Be An Artist In Umpteen Easy Steps.

 

–Ellen

 

 

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The Softer Side of the Coco Room Apocalypse

So, in a previous blog with Erin, I wrote about the craziness of redoing Coco’s (13) room and the havoc it struck on the rest of the house. {Coco Room Apocalypse}  I now feel ready to defend, I mean explain, myself.  There had been an epidemic of teenage redecorating in her class and we were one of the last to fall victim.  We should have painted during the summer, but as Coco put it, “We were too busy living life.”  Well, we started living the high life of cleaning and sprucing up the week of Thanksgiving.  (I know, bad timing.  I already acknowledged this in the other post.)

So Jellybean (11) was helping me and chatting with me as I painted.  She says, “You should have known we would hate pink and purple when we were old.  I’m going to save time when I have kids and paint my girls’ rooms blue to start with.”

This indeed sounded like a good idea as I was drowning hummingbirds and butterflies in Caribbean Blue.  Coco, Frank, and I had already spent hours removing the trellis wallpaper border that completed the garden gazebo theme.

By the way, just don’t do wallpaper. The horror on the Home Depot clerk’s face when I began my request, “Where is the wallpaper…,” was only trumped by his relief when I ended the sentence with the word, “remover.”

Garden Gazebo Theme. Pregnancy hormones must have deluded me into thinking wallpaper border and stenciling were good ideas.

 

In my defense, Coco’s room was decorated 11 years ago when Jellybean overtook the nursery.  Eleven years.  My Coco is not so much a pack rat as a prolific creator and collector of stuff. She then tends to bury this stuff away and then promptly forget all about it.  So really, she is more of a happy-go-lucky squirrel than a nasty old rat.

So due to this squirreling, I am finding a treasure trove of Coco-ness shoved in boxes, books, and under furniture. My favorite find was the foreword to her first novel crediting her sister for inspiring the title.

I could go on (there was A LOT of stuff), but the specifics of my child’s preciousness doesn’t have to be detailed here. But, it all tugged at my heartstrings.  It also made me grateful that I had gotten pushed into the whole re-decorating slippery slope.  (And believe me; I did not embark on this project willingly.  You feel kinda attached to the dozens of pansies you lovingly hand-painted for your first born while six months pregnant with your second.  Hmmm… or maybe I just felt attached in the sense that I did not feel like sanding and priming all of those suckers.  I’m going to go with mother’s love over laziness, just for the sake of my next point).

So here is why I am grateful, even though I’m a little cracked from the whole snowballing project. Do you think that a surprise walk down memory lane would feel like warm nostalgia five years from now when Coco goes off to college??  No!  It would feel like sucker punches!  Sucker punches that could land me curled around a teddy bear longing to turn back time.

So I’m glad I didn’t have the forethought to decorate a 2 year-old’s room with her future teen self in mind. Otherwise, this massive clean-out might not have taken place until she leaped from the nest.  So criticize something else, Jellybean.  I’m letting Coco project HER view of self on her room and I’ve assembled a nice box of mementos that I can choose to open when I WANT that trip down memory lane.

So if you need me, I’ll be the one floating down the River “De-Nile” ignoring that Coco has 5 more years to squirrel away new landmines of preciousness for me to find.

Oh yeah, and in response to Jellybean’s pleas that her room, too, be repainted, I say, “In five years, all this can be yours.”

-Ellen

Finished product. It was worth it, right? Right!?!

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