Man, it has been a rough teen week in the Dymowski household. My daughter is finishing up all of her college applications, my fifteen year old is learning to drive, and the thirteen year old who hates to read has a book report. We are, in short, a hot mess of emotions. As is our way, we are splashing this everywhere, a fair warning to anyone considering a visit or even a casual conversation. The conditions are, however, optimal for a little introspection and reevaluation. So it’s the perfect time to remember a tip for parenting through the teen years, one born many moons ago before Steve and I were even parents.
Back then, we were just two kids on our honeymoon in Ireland. The wildly changing temperatures meant that even in August, we might freeze like popsicles on a moor or dissolve in puddles of sweat walking through a quaint town. We casually mentioned this to our host at one of the bed and breakfasts. His reply? “That’s Ireland. Our country’s motto should be: don’t like the weather, wait a minute.” Such straightforward, unadorned, and simple advice was exactly what we needed to adjust our expectations. Knowing that whatever foul weather befell us would swiftly give way to sunnier times made it easier to wade though the uncomfortable and unpleasant moments. Armed with newfound hope and perspective, we enjoyed the rest of our trip a little more.
Shortly after we returned home, we moved to the lovely coast of Maine. Ireland and Maine have much to recommend them in terms of raw, natural beauty and friendly natives. In terms of weather, not so much. To be frank, weathermen in both places have the easiest job ever. Pick a weather condition, throw it out there, and for at least part of the day, they are probably right. In any case, we felt that our friendly Irishman’s insight worked here too. “If you don’t like the weather, wait a minute” became a salve on a raw, frigid day, a buffer that took the edge off a wet and miserable one. Better times were a-coming. We could soldier on.
Fast forward thirteen years (we had a honeymoon baby), and we were facing down a storm unlike any we had ever seen before. Our newly minted teen son was shaking our house with the full force and raw power of his adolescent fury. Gale force winds wish they had the power to rattle the windows like he did that day. Completely at a loss for what to do, Steve said under his breath, “if you don’t like the weather, wait a minute.”
“This too shall pass” on steroids, these words defused the situation. We both exhaled. Things were ugly now, but they wouldn’t always be. We could stay calm and cool. We could deflect his words and anger with a soothing presence. We could use the minute we were taking to practice empathy for our son. And we were lucky. This storm, like most teen tempests, blew hard but fast. Dawn brought cooler heads, better talks, and with them some much needed perspective.
Planet Teen can be a rough and inhospitable place. Harsh things are said, emotions run high, and terrible storms blow up. But here’s the thing, they also blow over. The key to staying high and dry when you are in the thick of it is to remember that most of the teen landscape, while a little rocky, is also full of wonderful things to see and do.
But if you have had a week with your teens like I have, let’s all just give ourselves a minute. Not all days are going to make the Facebook feed, but we are still living them. This bad weather we may be experiencing, while tough, isn’t the overall climate of our home. Better times are a-coming, and we are going to soldier on.
-Erin
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Coming of age stories, while charming and poignant, don’t always make great novels. This novel with its plucky, awkward 14-year-old narrator June avoids the pitfalls of the genre. June feels like she was born in the wrong era and yearns to be a falconer. When her story begins, it’s 1987 New York and her favorite uncle has just died of AIDS. June’s unlikely friendship with her uncle’s boyfriend forms the backbone of the novel. Erin gave up an afternoon to read it in big gulp. This is one you’ll miss when it’s over.
by Nancy Isenberg
by Yuval Noah Harari
by Kristen Mae
beautiful with depths that beg to be plumbed, this book brings it and then some. Well-rounded characters and gorgeous imagery set the stage for one killer knock-out of a book. This book is sexy with a capital S. Flawed, lovable Hazel and magnetic Claire will change everything you thought you knew about love, sexual attraction, and chemistry.
by Paul Kalanithi
by Daniel James Brown
Our friend Nina described this book as a book lover’s book. She is one of those friends who is usually right, so we just nod and listen to her. We are oh so happy we did. The quirky A.J. Fikry is an unlikely one to root for, but as the story unfolds, you can hardly help yourself. Loss, romance, and even a bit of mystery are peppered throughout and layered with humor. Each chapter doesn’t just advance the narrative but serves as an homage to one of Fikry’s favorite books. If you have ever lost or found yourself between the pages of a book, this is a must read.
by Ann Patchett
by Bryan Stevenson
by Elisabeth Egan
On the surface this book is nothing special, a familiar story about a SAHM who suddenly has to work full time. But “Danger, Will Robinson”, it’s the quiet ones that will get you. With its light, breezy touch, infinitely likable characters, and easily recognizable tensions, this book will sink its stealthy hooks into you and then spit you out an afternoon later. Erin adored Alice, her kids, and her very believable relationship with her husband. This may not be ground-breaking fiction, but it is a wholly satisfying, utterly delicious piece of literary pie.
We both love every opportunity to worship at the altar of the inimitable Strout and this book illustrates perfectly why. This simple and unassuming story is a powerhouse of story-telling. Lucy is recovering in a hospital bed when her estranged mom comes to visit. However, Lucy is no ordinary protagonist and Strout is no ordinary writer, so the results are literary fireworks. Small but mighty, this slim novel packs a lot of extraordinary into a tight, narrative thread. The perfectly rendered imperfect relationship between Lucy and her mother is a reader’s dream: nuanced, fully realized, and ringing with truth. This one is a keeper.
by Meg Mitchell Moore
by Lisa Damour
advice about college, we listen to our friends Lisa and Mary Dell who write over at 
by John Krakauer 
by Julie Lythcott-Haims
This, from Julie Lythcott-Haims’ Amazon author page, is one of the reasons we love her and her book:
by Kate Morton
is a novel that won’t be compartmentalized. A virtual smorgasbord of all good things literary, this book has action, suspense, courtroom drama, some literary allusions, and even a tiny sprinkling of horror toward the end. There are no small bites here; you will devour this book. Without a dull moment in sight, this book grips you from the first sentence and keeps you entertained and hungry for more until it delivers one sad reader at the very end. You will miss these characters and this story when it’s gone. Lucky for all of us, this is book one in a five book series. Read on, book warriors!
by Fiona Barton
nor 
, both books we really, really liked even with their creepy, psychological suspense. It IS a great read though. In fact, it reminded us more of Leanne Moriarty’s 
with the marital secrets and the mystery at the heart of it. Sometimes, multiple points of view can be distracting, but in this case, the structure of the novel contributes to some of the magic. Be forewarned: you could easily lose an afternoon falling down this delightful rabbit hole, but the pay-off is worth it!
by Malala Yousafazi
by Rainbow Rowell
and 
by Rebecca Sherm
by Emma Straub
by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney
judge a family by its flaws, the Plumbs are a perfect hot mess of a crew. They also couldn’t be more charming. The novel kicks off with the family inheritance in jeopardy after one of the siblings gets himself into hot water. As the four siblings wrestle with the mess left behind, it would be tempting to dismiss them as shallow or lacking substance. However, Sweeney gives each character multiple dimensions. She exposes their humanity and moves the story along. In doing so, their tale of personal woes, family ties, and thwarted ambitions is reminiscent of challenges we all face. A thoroughly entertaining read.
by Jenny Offill
We had a couple of roadblocks ahead of us though. One was the insane adoption process (Ellen will explain about it more below. I can’t even. Really. It almost broke me.) The other was our crazy spring schedule that would end in a 
And guess what? She’s not stingy with her love! Within minutes of Coco coming home for fall break, she was cuddling with her! 
And I’ll let you in on a little secret. The dog didn’t replace Coco, it’s there to cushion the blow when my youngest leaves the nest. It’s good to have plans.
But ultimately I most appreciated the fact that experience is a fine teacher. Volunteering taught me things I needed to learn and in a way that benefited my kids and their friends too. I am not the same woman who picked up that gauntlet laid down by my friend so many years ago, a very good thing for me and my kids. It’s also good for you if you know me. I am a kinder, gentler, and far more patient version of myself. But perhaps even more importantly, ten years into this scout leader gig, I have some SKILLS. You can feel safe sending your kids into the woods with me. I can climb mountains, build fires, triangulate my position, and kayak like the fearless leader I have become. I am a full-fledged member of the village raising some fine young people in my community and that is the best thing of all. So feel free to join me the next time you see me heading out on the trail. We might get lost but we will have a darn good time getting there.
Ladies, not only could you, but you may even actually want to. Now, I feel like I should back the story up a bit. I did not ship my fifteen year old off to grandma’s house for the summer, although I’m not taking that one off the table. He wasn’t getting scared straight at boot camp or on a grand tour of Europe either, although any of these options do sound lovely depending on which version of himself he’s sharing with me that day. In fact, I could say in all honesty that I didn’t really do anything. He came to me and asked to work at a local camp on the Chesapeake Bay.
There are other stories like this one about eating locally, about families trying to live on their land, about treating the environment well, but Kingsolver’s gifted narrative skills elevate this book to the next level. Not just a memoir of her family’s year of eating locally, this book is a deeply entertaining and obsessively readable gem full of delectable recipes and equally delicious sidebars. Our science-loving hearts appreciate the sound and deep research that anchors the book, but even more precious and appreciated is the very tone and tenor of this book. Never once does it devolve into smugness or snobbery, a pitfall of the genre.
This one will get your pulse racing and the thermostat moving in the right direction.Three interwoven love stories fill out the deeply moving and wildly beating heart at the center of this novel. As always, Kingsolver draws you into the natural world framing the events taking place during this hot, hot summer. As you might expect, the result is less natural history course and more, well, prodigal. Bring a tall glass of cool tea to sip while reading just to bring the temperature down.
This book about two women on opposite sides of the marital timeline but facing similar issues within them is no exception. Miller can craft a conversation like nobody’s business, but its her adept pacing and characterization that make her novels little living, breathing things. In this case, she has breathed life into the very concept of marriage itself and in turn created a fascinating, fun read. No small feat, but one we will gladly take.
Sue Miller is so good at creating characters that you forget you’re reading and feel yourself looking around for your new friends. Anyway, this is a story in a story too, and this approach gives you just the distance you need to see these characters clearly. Billy, the playwright, is grieving the loss of her lover who was killed in the attacks of 9/11, and she works out her feelings in her play about a man waiting to hear if his wife has been killed in a terrorist attack on the famed train, The Lake Shore Limited. These characters will drag you into their world no matter where you may be sipping your drink.
, 
—liked ’em all, but this is an author that you love or hate, so read these recommendations with that in mind.
Erin is blessed to have married into a family nearly as boisterous and fun as her own. Every summer Dymowskis harken from hills and dales far and wide to meet and eat and reconnect. The date on the calendar is sacred and everybody tries to make it. Yes, these gatherings are effort, but they are so worth it.
and 
), or 
5. Share the big moments.
6. Try something new together.
Growing up, Erin’s friend Mary taught her the delightful term “frousins” to describe the beautiful gift of cousins who are more than just family, but true friends as well. Here’s hoping we should all be so lucky!