Tag Archives: fall

10 Things A New Mom Should Do (Besides Sleep)

Erin recently attended the cutest baby shower ever. The adorableness was off the charts, even with the games. You know how we love those!

shower collage

Erin might have throat-punched someone who tried to measure her at the end of her pregnancy. But then she wasn’t this cute pregnant.

bouquet of onesies

Seriously, could the Mom-to-Be be any cuter?? And that’s a bouquet of onesies, baby towels, and washcloths she’s holding! Genius.

  And all the merry-making brought us priceless moments like this one.

moments

Nothing says “I Love you” like smelling fake baby shizz for you.

And the hostess had lots of beautiful touches that really made the shower super special.

tree collage

That’s a tree of good advice and wishes, a fabulous diaper cake, and an awesome baby stuck in a cake.

But Erin’s favorite touch was definitely the tree. It contained gems like this one from her sister-in-law, Kim.

sharpie

It definitely made us both a little nostalgic for the old days of new baby smell, fuzzy blankies, and adorable onesies. We both have our oldest “babies” in high school now. Time has marched on, taught us a few things, and even had its way with us.

Time has also dealt us a healthy dose of perspective. If we were to go back in time and meet our younger selves, these are some of the things we would definitely tell them to do now. Consider it our contribution to the tree of good advice and well wishes.

ten things

1. Chill out. Looking back at how worked up we could get about certain things (milestone meeting, potty-training, and early school stuff), we cringe for our younger  selves. Time has taught us that babies who walked at 8 months don’t look any different than those who first walked at 15 months when they are entering kindergarten. We could have used a nice telephoto lens into the future back then. . . or a back rub and a glass of wine.

2. Trust the Momma instincts. We second-guessed ourselves a lot back then. Time has proven that our gut instincts where our kids are concerned are dead on. Erin truly didn’t learn this lesson until her 4th child was born. Something was just “off” with him, and she was worried—that deep, sick-in-your-stomach, can-barely-say-the-words-aloud kind of scared—about what could be wrong.

So she burst into the doctor’s office at his one year check-up, held her head up, and laid out her case. And, wonder of wonders, this beautiful doctor did not dismiss any of her concerns. As it turned out, Erin’s baby had really, really poor eyesight correctable with glasses.

Erin: From the moment that baby held my face in his hands when he finally saw me through his new glasses, I have been a new mom. I would love to hug the younger me and tell her just how smart and capable she was.

3. Read Mom Blogs. Erin’s first baby was born in 1997, and Ellen’s the next summer. We barely did email back then. The online support and verification that our kids were NOT, despite all the evidence we were amassing, the spawn of Satan would have been extremely helpful and comforting. The lovely network of mothers supporting and encouraging one another through this big adventure would have been oh so welcome. . .

4. Find a Flock. . . . As was the very real, very supportive network we found in our local MOMS Club. Finding another mom that is right with you on the road is so important—birds of a feather and all that. You can all muddle through this parent thing together. And misery DOES love company.

5. Put Away the Parenting Books. We are both readers so it was natural for us to go there, but the conflicting advice and the nagging sense that we weren’t “one size fits all” kind of parents left us feeling a little lost.

Erin: Again, time proved that my inclinations were just fine, but the fact that I was “a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll” fueled my early mom insecurities. Now, I would read less parenting books and watch some more crappy TV.

6. Play, Play, Play. We played a lot with our kids, but this easy time with toys and silliness is over way too soon. Savor every minute.

7. Get a Decent Haircut. Ellen somehow knew this from day one.

Ellen: It’s a curly-hair thing.

Erin: I couldawouldashoulda have taken a little more time for me from the very beginning. I had 3 kids in 3 years, and my needs were deadlast in every equation. Looking back, this was a mistake in every respect. I let my family consume me, and it showed. Once I decided to take some time for me and scheduled some time for that decent haircut, I also developed the confidence that I was on the right track.

8. Write Down All the Funny Things Our Kids Said. We have always been fairly decent recorder of our kids’ lives. Erin even tried scrapbooking for awhile until Baby #4  came along. But we both wish, wish, WISH that we had kept a notebook with us at all times and gotten every last scrap of adorable and funny. Kids get big and beautiful and strong and competent, but they definitely lose their cute factor and you miss it when it’s gone. It would be nice to have every last morsel to savor when those days are behind you.

9. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!

Erin: I had a honeymoon baby nine months after I moved to Maine. I had a few people I knew from work, but no real support network AT ALL. This is something I would definitely insist upon doing now. I would definitely take Ellen’s advice to get a babysitter at least twice a month so my husband and I could have a break simultaneously.

Ellen: Without the drudgery of the kids strangling you both, you can remember why you brought them into this world and discover that you do still like each other.  This is a suggestion that usually draws a lot of protest from new moms, but I can’t stress its importance enough.  Maybe I could convince everyone that it is easier than a mental breakdown?”

Amen, Sister!

10. Appreciate the moment. It seems silly to explain this one, but ssssssllllllloooooowwwww down.  Breathe in their little baby smells until you can’t NOT smell them.

Ellen once said that mothering infants and toddlers was the hardest thing she ever did, and she did time in a trauma center.  Stay strong, Sisters. They’ll be teenagers before you know it. Sniff. Sniff.

-Erin and Ellen

What would you add to the tree? What would you say to a younger mom? Your younger self?

 

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Move Over, Pumpkin! Apple Is The New Star Around Here

 

'Tis the season for apple and pumpkin and we have the best recipes for you including the most delicious apple cake you have ever tasted! Apple is the new star around here! Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We are not indifferent to the allure of the fabulous pumpkin. In fact, we fall under its spell every autumn, mostly because it means we get to whip up these favorites for our family again.

Pumpkin Pie Cake

Mini Pumpkin Sage Balls

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

Pumpkin Chili

These are great recipes one and all. They are so great in fact that they caused us to get a tad emotional about the canned pumpkin that makes all of these recipes not just delicious but ridiculously easy. But last week there was a little parking lot drama that has left us feeling a bit sour on our good buddy pumpkin . . .

. . . Which means it’s apple’s turn to take center stage! We have the perfect recipe to highlight just how wonderful, moist, and delicious the humble ole apple can be too!

Erin’s mom Peggy has used this recipe longer than she has been parenting Erin, so it has a little over forty years of rave reviews to back up ours. In case you needed another reason to just click the link,  this recipe is also so easy that the last time we made it, the six year old assembled it. Yep. That’s the kind of easy we’re talking ’bout. It would be perfect gracing that dessert table at your Thanksgiving table too. Just sayin’.

Check out Peggy’s Most Delicious Apple Cake!

 And because we told you all about this one, if you were inclined to save us a piece, well, that’s just what good Sisters do.

Happy Baking!

Erin and Ellen

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Beware Which Mama You Mess With Because She May Be Packing Pumpkin

I try to be a kind Christian woman, but I am a flawed work in progress. As the imperfect human I am, every once in awhile, I snap. And I mean SNAP! —as in I explode in the blink of an eye before my brain has the chance to shut that mess down. It generally is a spectacle of impressive proportions.

It really doesn’t happen often, but apparently losing my mind does occur often enough for it to have its own entry in the family lexicon–Going Lowe’s. On the day this term was born, let’s just say I might have had a problem with a Lowe’s customer service clerk who may have continued to take calls and talk to her coworkers instead of just taking the ever-loving wallpaper book from me even when my toddles ramped up to cage match combatants in my shopping cart. I was STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. I was there, I was needy, she should have helped me first!

But there is an unexpected twisted layer of awesome running through Going Lowe’s: it can take on the festive trappings of the season . . .and news flash: It’s Pumpkin Season! Don’t you roll your eyes at me. Roll. Mmmmm, pumpkin roll. I could really go for some of that right now. But don’t forget, pumpkin isn’t only for gourd-gasmic gastric delights. There’s also pumpkin pedicures, pumpkin lip gloss, pumpkin parking lot rage . . .

It all began innocently enough in the grocery store parking lot. I was behind my vehicle, stowing my purchases when I heard a “CRUUUUNNCCCHHH.” Since the van next to me was backing out of its space, I popped my head around the side of my SUV quicker than a chipmunk scouting out a pumpkin seed and locked eyes with Mr. Lazy Pants. (Why the heck he wasn’t looking over his shoulder or into his rearview mirror while his van was in motion is beyond me.)

I was relieved my driver’s side mirror was intact, but my annoyance ramped up quickly when I realized Mr. Lazy Pants had run over two ginormous plastic soda cups that he had so slovenly placed on the ground two inches from his wheels. It would have just been ridiculous for him to walk around his vehicle and dispose of them in the trashcan that was RIGHT THERE. It was no concern of his to rocket sticky caffeinated corn syrup up on my car so it could drip on my new boots when I opened my door.

So I may have popped an eye roll of my own. Okay, I did.

Apparently, channeling my inner adolescent brought out the best in Mr. Lazy Pants’ middle-aged copilot, too.

She leaned over his girth to shout out a very clever, “Got an eye problem?” following by a chin thrust/lip curl contortion.

I saw red or maybe more accurately plaid. I was instantly transported back to the seventh grade Catholic school playground where I was taunted every day.

Oh, but this wasn’t seventh grade, and I have lived a lot of lives since then. In one of these lives, I was a medical student in inner city Baltimore. People joke about crack addicts? I delivered their babies. Ever hear the urban legend of the man with the gun in the ER? Yeah, I was there. You think you know prison because of Breaking Bad? I had to ask those guys to turn their heads and cough.

So my inner badass has developed quite a bit since the time I was trapped in knee socks and pleated skirts. With the muscle memory of someone who has been bum-rushed, by well, bums, I reached into the closest bag, hefted a can of pumpkin and reared back like a right fielder whose trade value depended on the throw. I was “Going Lowe’s”.

Well, apparently Mr. Lazy Pants just needed the right incentive because that man had some pep as he peeled rubber out of the parking lot. The look on his copilot’s face is filed in my mental Rolodex under “Things to Make Me Laugh on Desperate Days.”

I can understand her confusion. I’m not exactly packaged as a psychopath. Heck, I had even showered that day and had on real pants. It just goes to show, you should never judge on appearances and you should always be careful who you mess with. You never know, she just might be packing pumpkin.

-Ellen

A Holiday Tale of Humor: Beware Which Mama You Mess With Because She May Be Packing Pumpkin | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 
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Ten Ways Fall Will Foil You

For those of us who grew up under the mind control allure of Martha Stewart and wished we could craft a vintage paper leaf wreath or fashion an acorn pin out of felt (real crafts, y’all!), fall represents a simple beauty not to be outdone by the gaudier holiday season to come.

Only two books and one bazillion hours were sacrificed to make this wreath.

But the truth, dear friends, can be an ugly thing. Fall has a dark side that will bring you to your knees or at least to the point of crying out, “Whatever, Martha!”

 

fall foil

1. Pumpkins—  Whether lit from within or left to shine with their singular, natural beauty, the humble pumpkins scream of bounty and harvest. Until they get you screaming for another reason.

Inevitably, these beauties are forgotten in the monster mash that is Halloween. It’s a rare year that Ellen doesn’t have to scoop the squishy remains of her pumpkins off the front porch with a snow shovel. Bring on the mold and the fruit flies!

I look all shiny and pretty now, but just wait until I am spilling my rotten innards.

2. Football –We used to be simpatico with the ‘ole pigskin, but now we both have high schoolers and EVERY Friday night is a football game.

Our derrieres are frozen to the bleachers, our eyes are glazed over from the mediocre action, and our tummies are growling from the crappy food we DIDN’T eat at the game. Then to add insult to injury, our husbands scream at the TV the rest of the weekend because someone didn’t complete a pass or the ref made a bad call. Go Team! Thanks, Fall!

3. Orchards—Nothing says Fall like a trip to your local orchard to get fresh apples, BUT, Danger, Will Robinson! You’re lured in with the promise of a myriad of fun fall activities to enjoy. You get hyped up on the thought of a fabulous family photo perfect for bragging on Facebook. In the golden slanting light, you start thinking that this orchard might be a fabulous place to spend the afternoon . . . until you realize you’re being hunted like antelope on safari by a pack of yellow jackets. You’ve been warned. It’s all we can do.

4. Apple Cider Donuts— If the stinging anaphylaxis-inducing insects didn’t get you at the orchard, this one will take you down. Or more accurately, plump you up. You cannot escape the powerful grip of this confection. We would not be surprised AT ALL to discover that the farmers pipe the delicious aroma of frying donuts to all four corners of the farm. You are salivating so much by the time you make it to the checkout line that you shout, “Give me all the donuts!” This one will really hit you on the bottom line and the backside.

5. Pumpkin Latte–Ellen loves Dunkin Donuts for creating this seasonal delight. It’s warm, delicious, and she treats herself to just one or two each year (okay, each week). Imagine her chagrin when her order was bungled and she received it iced. It should ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NEVER BE SERVED COLD. EPIC FAIL. Thanks for screwing up Ellen’s reward to herself for passing on the apple cider donuts. (Erin doesn’t have to imagine this Fall Fail. She heard it play out on the phone in real time. It wasn’t pretty, people!)

6. Spiders— It’s THEIR season and we are all just living through it. Enough Said. <shiver>

7. The What to Wear Dilemma— Fall is the ficklest of friends. Sometimes Fall will bring you temps that will make you think you woke up in July. And then again, Fall might bring you this. . .

It makes deciding what to wear on a daily basis one of the trickier things you might have to navigate. Thank goodness for layers!

8. Footwear— This one needed it’s own line. Note to the chick wearing flip-flops with socks in the Starbucks line: That’s not what we mean by layers.

9. Frickin’ Leaves—  If Fall didn’t break you with the yo-yoing temps, the flesh-hungry yellow jackets lurking in the apples, or the apple cider donuts threatening to balloon your booty, the LEAVES will seal the deal.  Mother Nature transforms into a magazine-shredding toddler rampaging through your yard. And someone needs to come up with a better solution than the trusty old Rake-and-Bag because we don’t have time for the Motrin-and-Ice that follows.

10. Corn mazes—  Bottom line:  You are coughing up hard-earned cash for the opportunity to get lost. And you WILL get lost. Forty-five minutes later, you MAY crash through the border, NEVER the elusive exit, hot, muddy, and agitated . . . or you may need to be lead out by a teenager whose job is to mock rescue you.  Thank goodness there’s an apple cider donut ready and waiting.

But some parts of fall have no downside. We LOVE the tastes of fall, especially when they don’t make us work that hard to get them!

Hope you are enjoying your autumn!

Erin and Ellen

 

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Fabulous Fall Reading #Giveaway

Do you love reading? Enjoy free stuff? Did you miss the boat on summer’s GIGANTIC, multi-blog reading giveaway and you want another chance to win?!?! Well, we’ve delivered, except for one tiny difference – this time, it’s EVEN BIGGER!

Even more of your favorite bloggers have joined together to bring you the hugest giveaway on the innerwebz – you are not going to believe this prize package.

Seriously.

Now that the kids are back in school, maybe you find yourself with a little extra free time for reading grown-up people books with grown-up people words in them. Maybe, as the autumn air gets chillier, you’re looking for an excuse to snuggle up under a blanket. Whatever the reason, one thing’s for sure: you need some great stuff to read. Thus, we bring you…

THE BIGGEST FALL READING GIVEAWAY EVER!
greatest fall reading giveaway

First off, we’ve collected practically an entirely new library for you – nine (9) (NINE!!!) new books to make you laugh, cry, and forget that you were supposed to turn on the crockpot because you’re just plain having too much fun.

books

You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth, the long-awaited first humor anthology from In The Powder Room, is the #1 Hot New Release on Amazon for good reason – it’s packed with 39 (mostly) true tales by women, for women, about being women—bodily changes, relationships, careers, motherhood, aging, illness, and more—written with the humor and grit that proudly sets In The Powder Room apart. The winner’s shiny new copy will be signed by none other than Lipstick co-author and editor, Leslie Marinelli of The Bearded Iris!

Do you have a copy of the best-selling collection of hilarious essays, I Just Want To Pee Alone, yet? Well, I bet you don’t have a copy signed by four of the co-authors – Amy Bozza of My Real Life signed one with Kim Bongiorno, Kim Forde and Anna Sandler, and she’s willing to part with it JUST FOR YOU! It covers every parenting topic from planning for your baby, to being driven insane by your children, to… wait, are there other parenting topics? Yes, don’t be silly, of course there are. We’re pretty sure.

From Abby Has Issues, you’ll get a signed paperback copy of Abby Still Has Issues, the 5-star rated second installment of award-winning humor writer Abby’s compiled blogging neurosis – everything from the drama of a cab ride with Aunt Mable to her quest to become a naked sushi model.

Carriage Before Marriage has two stories in the hilarious, irreverent anthology What Was I Thinking: 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories featuring essays from Carrie Fisher, Sex and The City producer Cindy Chupack and more. Romantic disasters spun into comedy gold for your entertainment!

Janie Emaus is offering up a autographed paperback copy of her smart and compelling young adult book, Mercury In Retro Love – a story about crushes, conflicts and astrological confusion.

Kim Bongiorno, of Let Me Start By Saying, has generously added an autographed paperback copy of her 5-star rated “Part of My World: Short Stories”, a book that allows the reader to escape into 21 unique, exhilarating worlds.  To boot, she’s including a “How Being a Parent is Like Being a Rock Star” note card, based on her hilarious graphic that’s gone viral (blank inside, with envelope).

You’ll also win an autographed copy of Not Your Mother’s Book…on Being a Parent, co-authored by Stacey Hatton of Nurse Mommy Laughs. These new anthologies are edgy “poultry for the chakra” books and will have you laughing instead of crying.

Of course your library won’t be complete without a signed paperback copy of the best selling debut of humorist Paige Kellerman, At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles – a touching story of cankles, gestational diabetes, and one woman’s quest not to pee her own pants while carrying twins.

Still want more parenting laughs? Parenting Gag Reel – Hilarious Writes and Wrongs (from the popular Life Well Blogged series) is for moms and dads who’ve fought to get little ones down for a nap, worn their pajamas to drop off the kids at school or can name at least ten shades of poop. If that’s you, you’re in the right place for an afternoon of laughter, thanks to some very funny bloggers, including Snarkfest.

But wait – that’s not all! Because we love you and we know that just WANTING to read doesn’t always get you the time, setting, and accessories that make it possible, we’re also including all of this:

clock
Because it’s hard to concentrate on reading while the kids are awake, we’ll set you up with the customizable kid’s photo clock of your choice from ZAZOO KiDS! In addition to allowing you to upload your own photos, video and music, it has pre-programmed image alarms to show a child visually when they can start the day or when it is time to rest. Brilliant! For maximum reading time, we recommend setting bedtime to 4 PM.

duct tape
Because they might still need a little help staying in bed, there’s Duck Tape. Everyone can find a fun and creative use for Duck Tape, from crafty tweens to practical DIYers, to mamas who just want to read for a minute, for Pete’s sake. We’re giving away an awesome prize pack of Duck Tape in assorted colors and patterns.

vino to go
Because sometimes Mama needs a little glass of something while she reads, you’ll get a monogrammed Vino-2-Go for those special times when you need to be the classiest bi0tch at the party, or when you’re just afraid you might spill some precious vino on your precious book.

pillow
Because you need to be comfortable while you read, we’re bringing you your choice of one throw pillow from Sewn, Inc. Sewn is a small design atelier in Brooklyn, NY, specializing in dressmaking, custom Halloween costumes for children, home decor accents, and quilted Christmas stockings.

purse
Because you might be out and about while you’re reading (hey, it could happen), the winner will also get a $30 gift certificate to the Jennifer Ladd shop on Etsy, which is chock full of gorgeous handbags and change purses.

Nostalgic Graphic Tees Elizabeth Horton

Because you’ll need something clean for your kids to wear if you hope to put off the laundry one more day, let us introduce you to Nostalgic Graphic Tees by Elizabeth Horton. Brushed for softness and screen printed using multiple layers of environmentally friendly ink, you’ll be happy when this becomes your child’s favorite shirt because it’ll stand up to life and washings and still look good enough to hand down to a little brother or sister. Winner gets to choose any tee from the Etsy site. That’s winner’s choice! You just have to pick from a size in stock.

men's shirt
Because you’ll need something cozy to “borrow” from your husband’s closet while you read (or because you’re the husband whose cozy stuff keeps getting “borrowed,” or because you just happen to like reading and comfort), Cool Dads is providing one of their tees. They work hard to make tees that their kids would dig, and that they would be proud to wear too. They feature a tailored fit, custom stitching, and high quality bamboo viscose material that makes their shirts softer than the softest cotton, keep you degrees cooler, and even repel sweat to keep you dry.

bubbles
Because people are always trying to take the few things around your house that aren’t made by Fisher Price (like your new fantastic book collection) and claim them as their own, label them in style with Name Bubbles. These sturdy, water-resistant and dishwasher safe labels come in a variety of colors, sizes, and fonts so you can personalize them just the way you want. We’re giving away a School Labels Pack, an assortment of over 80 labels!

truly great friends
Because we know you’ll get interrupted while you’re trying to read, you’ll get a $40 gift card to Snappin Studio, where they make unique hand stamped metal keepsakes like beautiful copper bookmarks. What a stylish way to keep track of where you left off, until you’re finished getting the kids just one more glass of water at 10:30 PM! Shop for gorgeous hand stamped metal gifts such as personalized guitar picks, unique anniversary gifts, handmade wedding favors and more.

I Just Want To Pee Alone

Also, because we know we’re all just barely holding it together ourselves, we’re including a canvas I Just Want To Pee Alone tote bag so YOU can hold all this stuff together – super rare and totes adorable, you’ll be able to carry all this incredible loot in style.

amazon.com
And finally, because we know we might have forgotten something (Who, US???), the lucky winner will also get a $175.00 Amazon gift card, to spend however he or she wants, although we strongly suggest using it to buy the giveaway hosts something pretty.

That’s almost $700 worth of fantastic prizes!

NOW FOR THE NITTY-GRITTY:
To qualify: You must have a deep, burning desire to own all or part of the stuff mentioned above, and live in the United States. (So sorry, non-United States friends – we love you big time, but we don’t understand your sweepstakes rules and don’t enjoy serving jail time. Also, POSTAGE. Gah. It’s, like, more than college tuition.)

Required: Do the little Rafflecopter thingy. Winner will be chosen at random and notified after the giveaway closes on Saturday, October 5. If there’s no response from the winner within 24 hours, another winner will be chosen and so on until we decide just to keep everything for ourselves. (We’re kidding, of course. OR ARE WE? Yes, we’re kidding.)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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The Lazy Girl Tailgating Party Plan

Fall is in the air and you know what that means?

Erin: My tailbone is permanently glued to my carpooling driver’s seat?

Ellen: No! Well yes, but what I was thinking of was FOOTBALL!

Erin: And that makes me think of tailgating.

Ellen: Gone are my college days where that word meant a keg and a bag of donuts.

Erin: I’m sorry to see those days of tight skin gone, but I am happy that we’ve entered the age of more refined parking lot soirees. And pure yumminess. Did the donuts always seem stale to you?

Ellen: I think stale was the best case scenario for those pastries. But let’s not forget, you don’t have to be eating out of the back of a minivan to enjoy this menu.

Erin: These eats are perfect for your living room too . . . even if you’re watching soccer.

Ellen: So whether you’re tailgating, couchgating, or just need dinner, tuck in for some deliciousness.

The Lazy Girl Tailgating Party Plan Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

So first the APPETIZERS . . .

Lazy Girl’s Black Bean Cream Cheese Dip

You know what? Be a hero and make a double batch from the start.

This dip has four ingredients: cream cheese, black beans, salsa, and shredded cheese. The most involved step is draining the black beans. We have found it ups the appeal to use gourmet salsa, but really that’s like saying the red convertible made the Homecoming Queen even more popular. This dip is always the first to go. Just make sure you buy enough tortilla chips because people have been known to clean the dish out with a spoon. Or their tongue. And no one wants to see that.

Full printable recipe

 

Ellen’s Buffalo Chicken Dip

I make this all of the time, but there is still no picture because it goes too quickly! The secret to the scrumptious-ness of this dip is cooking the chicken in the crock pot the day before or earlier in the day. You MUST cook the chicken this way to get raves; if you just use plain shredded chicken, I can’t be responsible for the yawns you will incite.

And now the recipe is even better. I use to recommend a baking step, but that step has been punted. Now, I do EVERY step in the crock pot. Maybe “lazy” should be in the title of this recipe, too.

Full printable recipe

 

On to the MAIN COURSE . . .

Alright, so everyone is wowed by the appetizers. Time to kick the laziness up a notch.

Erin: Still lobbying to switch from “lazy” to “smart.”

Ellen: Oy! Well, since this is a new “recipe” we’re sharing, I’ll humor you.

The Smartest Crock Pot Pulled Pork

Lazy or smart? Potato, Pu-tah-toe.

There will be no printable recipe , because you’re a smartie and we believe in you.

Three ingredients: 5 – 8 pound pork tenderloin, package of dry onion soup mix, and one 16.9 oz bottle of Coke.

Throw it in the crock pot and let cook for at least 7 hours. Shred the meat with a fork.

You can do it!

Ellen: Alright, we may be lazy, but we can’t throw health completely to the wind. Gotta have some veggies.

Erin: See! That’s smart!! Seriously, we should drop the lazy.

Ellen: How about we call this recipe “Switzerland” and just go with the title it already has?

 

Crispy Colorful Vinaigrette Coleslaw

Best Cole Slaw EVER!

This cole slaw is the best, because it doesn’t have a drippy, creamy dressing. It perfectly tops the pulled pork on a bun or takes the heat away from the Buffalo Chicken Dip. The recipe calls for some chopping of vegetables, but if you want a lazier smarter version, you can just dump a bag of shredded cabbage, a bag of broccoli slaw, and a bag of shredded carrots in the bowl and call it a day.

Full printable recipe

 

Can’t forget about DESSERT . . .

Oreo and Peanut Butter Brownie Bites

Oreo and Peanut Butter Brownie BitesYou can whip these up in minutes to be declared the MVP of all time of all tailgating parties . . . or couchgating Sundays. Yes, they are that good. Brownie mix, Oreos, and peanut butter: three ingredients that make your taste buds go boom!

Full printable recipe

 

And a little LIBATION to wash it all down. . .

Ed’s Whiskey Sour Slush

whiske slush

You’ll have everybody cheering for YOU after you show up with this delicious drink to share. Erin’s dad keeps AT LEAST one batch in the freezer at all times and our friends clamor for it constantly. It’s a breeze to put together, but because it’s a slush, you need at least 12 hours to really get your chill on. Make it the night before the big game and you’re not just golden but the belle of the ball, if you will. Get it?

Full printable recipe

With these recipes, you’ll have a party fit for the back of a minivan, a last minute neighborhood get-together, or a Sunday in the living room with your family. Less time spent worrying about what you’re going to serve means more time to practice your cheerleading moves. Go, Team!

-Ellen and Erin

 

 

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Ten Things About Fall That Will Bring You to Your Knees

Fall is no second-rate season here, no surly second sister to the fabulous Summer. We have some serious Dickens-esque great expectations for autumnal splendor, and Fall delivers here in the Mid-Atlantic. In spades.

The return of the crisp, autumn air means full deep breaths again, easier training runs, and success when using the  hair dryer for that smooth blow-out. Fall’s cooler temps means cozier clothes too. Who doesn’t welcome the return of the jacket? Fall’s clothes are a little more forgiving than tank tops which is perfect because Fall also marks the return of hearty soups and stews for dinner. Let’s spin those as a liquid diet, shall we?

For those of us who grew up under the mind control allure of Martha Stewart and wished we could craft a vintage paper leaf wreath or fashion an acorn pin out of felt (real crafts, y’all!), fall represents a simple beauty not to be outdone by the gaudier holiday season to come .

Only two books and one bazillion hours were sacrificed to make this wreath.

But the truth, dear friends, can be an ugly thing. Fall has a dark side  that will bring you to your knees or at least to the point of crying out, “Whatever, Martha!”

 

Ten Things About Fall That Will Bring You to Your Knees

1. Pumpkins— Big, small, orange, white, bumpy, or smooth, these fruit (Don’t argue with Erin! They have a fleshy rind and many seeds. They are a class of fruit known as pepoes!!) are the poster children for the season. Whether lit from within or left to shine with their singular, natural beauty, they scream of bounty and harvest. Until they get you screaming for another reason.

Inevitably, these beauties are forgotten in the monster mash that is Halloween. It’s a rare year that Ellen doesn’t have to scoop the squishy remains of her pumpkins off the front porch with a snow shovel. Bring on the mold and the fruit flies!

I look all shiny and pretty now, but just wait until I am spilling my rotten innards.

2. Football –We used to be simpatico with the ‘ole pigskin, but now we both have high schoolers and EVERY Friday night is a football game.

Friday USED to be date night (you know, like ours, the GROWN-UPS!). But now our derrieres are frozen to the bleachers, our eyes are glazed over from the mediocre action, and our tummies are growling from the crappy food we DIDN’T eat at the game. Then, to add insult to injury, our husbands scream at  the TV the rest of the weekend because someone didn’t complete a pass or the ref made a bad call. Go Team! Thanks, Fall!

3. Orchards—Nothing says Fall like a trip to your local orchard to get fresh apples, BUT, Danger, Will Robinson! You’re lured in with the promise of a myriad of fun fall activities to enjoy. You get hyped up on the thought of a fabulous family photo perfect for bragging on Facebook. In the golden slanting light, you start thinking that this orchard might be a fabulous place to spend the afternoon . . . until you realize you’re being hunted like antelope on safari by a pack of yellow jackets. You’ve been warned. It’s all we can do.

4. Apple Cider Donuts— If the stinging anaphylaxis-inducing insects didn’t get you at the orchard, this one will take you down. Or more accurately, plump you up. You cannot escape the powerful grip of this confection. We would not be surprised AT ALL to discover that the farmers pipe the delicious aroma of  frying donuts to all four corners of the farm. You are salivating so much by the time you make it to the checkout line that you shout, “Give me all the donuts!” This one will really hit you on the bottom line and the backside.

5. Pumpkin Lattes–Ellen loves Dunkin Donuts for creating this seasonal delight. It’s warm, delicious, and she treats herself to just one or two each year (okay, each week). Imagine her chagrin when her order was bungled and she received it iced. It should ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NEVER  BE SERVED COLD. EPIC FAIL. Thanks for screwing up Ellen’s reward to herself for passing on the apple cider donuts. (Erin doesn’t have to imagine this Fall Fail. She heard it play out on the phone in real time.  It wasn’t pretty, people!)

6. Spiders— It’s THEIR season and we are all just living through it. Enough Said. <shiver>

7. The What to Wear Dilemma— Fall is a fickle schizophrenic. Sometimes Fall will bring you temps that will make you think you woke up in July. And then again, Fall might bring you this. . .

It makes deciding what to wear on a daily basis one of the trickier things you might have to navigate. Thank goodness for layers! Note to the chick wearing flip-flops with socks in the Starbucks line: That’s not what we mean by layers.

8. Footwear–Okay, upon further consideration, this one needed its own space on the list. When Erin was in Pittsburgh last year, she saw some poor girl walking around the Zoo with a full turtleneck sweater, corduroy jeans, and FLIP-FLOPS. Fall had foiled her. It could get you too. Stay safe out there.

9. Frickin’ Leaves— Ellen wouldn’t let us leave off the adjective. Is this enough said? Are you all with us? If Fall didn’t break you with the yo-yoing temps, the flesh-hungry yellow jackets lurking in the apples, or the apple cider donuts threatening to balloon your booty, the LEAVES will seal the deal. It’s like Mother Nature transforms into a magazine shredding toddler rampaging through your yard. And someone needs to come up with a better solution than the trusty old Rake-and-Bag because we don’t have time for the Motrin-and-Ice that follows.

10. Cornmazes— We are just going to lay this out for you and tell it to you straight: A bonfire is nothing more than a barbecue on steroids . . . with enough smoke to ruin your blow-out and make your mascara run. It’s for those people who won’t let it go. Summer is OVER, people! O-V-E-R!

But while we’re at it, what is up with corn mazes? You fork over cash to get lost. Forty-five minutes later, you crash through the border, not the elusive exit, hot, muddy, and agitated. Thank goodness there’s an apple cider donut ready and waiting.

 

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Back to School: The Rest of the Story

Stasha at Monday Listicles asked us to make a list about school. Quite frankly, we have been too busy to have time for the requisite cartwheels and high-fiving, but we see you, Carpool Moms, celebrating with your barely concealed glee and we say, “Meh, we’ll catch ya next year.”

We COULD have made lists of the back-to-school necessities which almost required a bridge loan. With 5 kids back to school this year, Erin’s monetary expenditures over the last month rivaled the GDP of some small countries.

We COULD have gone on about the myriad ways in which we procrastinated at the business of back-to-school and  how that came back to bite us. Thank goodness for overnight shipping and generous return policies!

We COULD have poked fun at the Pinterest boards full of Bento boxes, healthy lunches, and back-to-school ideas all of which anyone living with an actual child has no time to do.

But like we said before, things have been a little hectic around here so our Monday Listicle is going to showcase what we’ve been doing since the kids went back to school.

Channelling our inner Paul Harveys, “This is the rest of the story.”

1. Ellen spent last week as a New York City nanny for a New York minute to her 3 year old nephew. She saw how the other side lives, this time as a City Mom rather than a Country Mom. She hung at the Central Park Zoo and the American Museum of Natural History.  We might have lost her to this urban oasis if she could hang in Central Park all day, the temperature never went below 55 degrees, and the taxi prices weren’t about to go up 17%. And, oh yeah, her family in Maryland falling apart without their fearless leader.

2. Two days before school started, Erin got a job!  After a 14 year baby-raising hiatus, she is officially back in the classroom as a teacher. It’s a dream part-time gig at her kids’ school.  In fact, the only better job for her might be driving the karma bus, but as it seems that THIS gig actually pays, she is pretty happy about this new change.

3.  Barely unpacked from her nanny gig, Ellen repacked and headed out into our local environs to play camp counselor for a week with the sixth-graders at her daughter’s middle school. Apparently, a summer spent kayaking, canoeing, hiking, and camping with her crew and all of ours wasn’t enough—she wanted to do it all with other people’s tweens. To further underline what a rock star move this is, we are sharing this card with Ellen’s philosophy on camping.

4. On the home front, Erin showed her homework center who was boss. She was not going to be taken down by chewed up pencils and errant pencil grips anymore. If you have a handful of kids, you know this was no small feat, so we are mentioning it. And yes, we would appreciate some nodding in solidarity and even a little shout-out for taking the time. Erin’s kids are not nearly as impressed as they should be.

5. In a similar vein, Ellen liberated her Tupperware drawer. She cleared out ALL of the old and replaced it with ten dollars worth of matching Rubbermaid.  Don’t judge. You know you wish this is what your Tupperware drawer looked like. Feel free to pin this on to your “Genius” board.

Okay, there are a few disposable Ziplocs left because those darn kids are always losing them at lunch.

6. Erin bought new brakes for her car, because while a “Soccer Mom with no brakes” sounds like a great punchline, it could get ugly and dangerous pretty quick.

7. On the SAME day, Erin bought a new water softener system, because if things are going to get ugly, they might as well get expensive and messy and stressful as well. Thank goodness we keep wine and Cheez-its around for just these occasions.

8. On the other side of town, Ellen’s lawn mower broke with her lawn half-mowed. These things tend to come in threes. But usually to the same person. Perhaps Ellen and Erin are spending too much time together.

9. Because Erin JUST got her job, she is still on the hook for some of the volunteering gigs she was doing BEFORE the big change. This means that she spent the better part of a week hunting down suppliers for 100 lbs of mushrooms and 80 lbs of cabbage for her kids’ school, hounding local businesses to sponsor her cub scouts’ pushcart race, and helping her son who is in the final stages of finishing his Eagle Scout project. Don’t tell her that she needs to slow down. Don’t tell her that she needs a break. She knows. She KNOWS.

10. Oh, and a fair amount of time was spent working on the blog, which was not an afterthought  AT ALL, but the thing we talked about in every spare moment NOT driving kids to practice, helping them with homework, and doing all of the other things we did since school started.

And now you know the rest of the story.

Erin and Ellen

 

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