Let’s hear it for cranberry! It’s time this palatal pleasing trooper stops being overshadowed by its more lauded seasonal comrades! This taste wonder needs its due. While it’s true Thanksgiving and cranberries go hand-in-hand, there’s little argument that pumpkin really reigns supreme over fall. Seriously, a bajillion pumpkin EVERYTHINGS everywhere is pretty telling.
And just when you think cranberry should take center stage in December with its festive crimson hue, nope, peppermint gives it a hip-swish bump relegating it to the wings again.
Well, we’re here to tell you that while cranberry may never be the Brad Pitt of the stove top, it deserves some props for being a dependable and talented character actor. You know what? That’s not saying enough. Cranberry is the Kevin Bacon of the kitchen! It’s got a zip and tang that makes everything tastier.
Maybe the problem is cranberry needs to stop fighting for holiday attention and expand its arena. We challenge you to think of cranberry as an option throughout the year! Why not serve Vodka Cranberry Seltzers on Mother’s Day or Cranberry Apricot Pork at your next Fourth of July picnic? The only thing you’ll be risking is a standing ovation.
Let’s begin with a little refreshment:
Vodka Cranberry Seltzer
2 oz Vodka
4 oz Cranberry Juice Cocktail
Juice of 1/4 of a lime
2 oz seltzer or sparkling water
In a shaker full of ice, combine vodka, cranberry juice and lime juice. Shake for 10 seconds and strain over an 8 to 10 ounce glass filled with ice. Top off the glass with the seltzer or sparkling water.
OR . . .
You can do it the Lazy Sensible Moms way and just pour all the ingredients in a glass and stir it with a spoon.
Either way, while this beauty looks charming all decked out for the holidays, it is even more refreshing on a hot summer day.
Cranberry Rosemary Cheese Ball
Not even exaggerating a little bit about how much this cheese ball is loved. Is it the sweet and savory together? Is it the pretty presentation? Is it the make-ahead convenience? Is it the illusion that fruit makes it healthy? Who knows? Regardless, you can get the easy, printable recipe here.
Apricot Cranberry Crockpot Pork Tenderloin
So the previous two recipes have perpetuated cranberry’s strong role as a supporting player, but this one pulls cranberry into the main spotlight where is belongs. This pork is perfect for Christmas Eve or a Labor Day picnic, over rice or on a bun. It is elegant, delicious, and out of the ordinary. Oh, and easy. What more could you want . . . except the full, printable recipe here.
So seriously, stop putting cranberry in a corner and let it shine at your next meal or gathering! You won’t regret it with these easy recipes!
Ah, New Year’s Eve. It really is a time for the young, but not too young. While the night is made for twenty-somethings to rock it out, the preschool set is often left completely out. It’s hard to be tucked in at 8 o’clock when all of the focus is on the magic of midnight.
That’s why we were beyond delighted when our reader, Sandra Tuckman, shared one of her family traditions with us.
The real magic is how stinking easy it is. The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy should take notes.
Show your precious snowflakes a plate of Cheerios.
Let them sprinkle milk and/or Magic Dust of choice on the little Os.
Explain to your kids they have to be asleep waaaaayyy before midnight for the magic to happen.
Enjoy a quiet glass of champagne with your sweetie at midnight . . . or 10 PM. Whatever.
Remember to replace the Cheerios with doughnuts!
Behold their delighted faces in the morning.
So simple! But remember to match the number of Cheerios to the number of doughnuts. Makes more sense that way . . . like a bunny delivering eggs or a fairy collecting teeth.
Now you can up your game if it all feels too simple. Remember the Magic Dust we mentioned? It allows all sorts of room for creativity.
Sprinkle cocoa for chocolate doughnuts.
Sprinkle powdered sugar for powdered doughnuts.
Sprinkle cinnamon for, you guessed it, cinnamon doughnuts.
Use sprinkles over the Cheerios, then do the same for the doughnuts.
If you really want to impress Pinterest, you could dip the Cheerios in icing and sprinkles for frosted doughnuts.
Our trees might be rejected as centerfolds for Southern Living, but they take center stage in our hearts because they are chock full of memories.
Don’t get us wrong. We love the balanced, color-coordinated perfection of department store trees. We praise our friends and family who are able to miraculously pull off similar feats without an ounce of snark in our hearts. In fact, Ellen has a second tree in her dining room that is pretty darn coordinated and themed . . .
And THIS is Erin’s version of a themed tree. Yeah, that is Yoda up there reigning over a tree full of Star Wars and Star Trek ornaments. May the force be with you.
But these aren’t the trees that our celebrations center around. Our main family trees are more than just decorations, they tell the stories of our lives. Each baby, marriage, vacation, and milestone is represented. Our lives are messy jumbles of events and joys and our trees have evolved into reflections of that.
We are behind on our photo albums, and there are more than a few children between us without completed any baby books, but dammit, decorating our Christmas trees is like the best walk down memory lane each and every year.
Erin
1. Caorach—That’s Gaelic for sheep if you were curious. When Steve and I were traveling through Ireland on our honeymoon, I was impressed by the beautiful countryside, the friendly people, and the sheep. Lots of sheep. This little fella has been part of our flock for 16 years now and I love seeing his simple unfinished wood wrapped in Irish wool every Christmas. It always takes me back to that special time when we were just starting out.
2. Whatever, Martha! Oh, sisters are the absolute best, and I have been particularly blessed to have a great one. But in addition to being a long distance swimmer and full-time university professor, my sister is crafty. I did not get this gene, but it doesn’t usually smack me in the face until Christmas arrives. This is when we receive my sister’s beautiful gifts handmade with love. They contrast nicely with my gifts which usually look like my seven year old wrapped them. I love everything she has made us, but these are particularly cute. She made these for everyone (and I have a big family!) customized with hair color, eye color, glasses, and colors of their favorite sports team. Aren’t they adorable?? Don’t you all want to hate her just a little bit?
3.Angelface — When I was a little girl, my dad went to a Christmas party and one of his friends gave him 2 angels to give to me and my sister on Christmas day. My sister’s had blond hair and hung side by side with my angel at the top of our tree under our star until I married Steve and took my angel with me. This humble little angel is probably one of my oldest possessions and I love seeing her on our tree every year and remembering all of her Christmases past.
4. Sisters Are Special—The Series— Remember what I said about sisters?? This is just one of a series of ornaments we gave each other. They are all pretty cute and extol the virtues of sisterhood, but this is the only photo one.
5. Family — Steve and I moved away from Maryland to mid-coast Maine a month after we were married. When we moved back home to Maryland, we had two kids and I was 8 months pregnant with the 3rd. We moved into a small apartment right before Christmas, and I couldn’t get to any of our Christmas decorations. I shoved a small artificial tree that someone was throwing away into a Nordstrom box, and bought a strand of lights (the tree was so small it only needed one). Then I took the box of extra photos (you know, the ones you didn’t use for albums or gifts before everything went digital) and started making ornaments. I showed you one of Ace as a baby here, but we still hang all of those crappy ornaments from our first Christmas in Maryland on our tree. It makes me happy to see how young we were and remember myself as a young mom determined to have a tree no matter what.
Ellen
6. Bermuda Moon Gate — My husband, Frank, and I got this on our honeymoon in–wait for it–Bermuda. Its complete circle symbolizes unity, peace, and happiness. The idea was brought to Bermuda in the 1800s by a sea captain who had visited Asia, but the island quickly adopted it as their own. Newlyweds who pass through a moon gate hand-in-hand are said to have everlasting happiness and good fortune. We were married twenty-one years ago, so I guess they were onto something.
7. You Can Find A Gift Shop Anywhere — After I graduated from medical school, Frank and I went to Italy. Not surprisingly, one of the most breathtaking sights was St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City and the views of Rome from the roof and the cupola were equally spectacular. Imagine our surprise when we turned from the panoramic vistas to find a gift shop on the roof (I hear they also have a coffee bar now, too). We purchased this mosaic cross and it has had a place of honor at the top of tree ever since.
8. Sharing Family History — My grandparents and their families were from Chincoteague Island, Virginia. While growing up, I spent every summer visiting down there. This ornament commemorates taking my first born daughter there when she was one year old. She never got to meet my grandparents, but she did get to meet my Great-Aunt Ruth and enjoyed herself immensely on her first beach trip.
9. Talking Easter on Christmas — In 2007, we were lucky enough to go to the White House Easter Egg Roll. And yes, it was fabulous. Thank you Aunt Allaire for the tickets. There were children’s authors, the Easter Bunny, Hannah Montana, and the Jonas Brothers. This was when the wrecking ball was just a gleam in Miley’s eye. It really was like a festive old timey country fair . . . well, except for the aforementioned Disney-fest.
10. New York Whirlwind — This ornament commemorates the awesome two day New York City vacation I took with my daughters in 2011. In just over 48 hours, we visited my sorority sister in Princeton, NJ, caught the train to Penn Station, rode a taxi to our swanky Times Square hotel ,The Sanctuary, took the subway to the Staten Island Ferry, rode the (free!) ferry round-trip to see the Statue of Liberty and the Manhattan skyline, lunched at Mars 2021, rode the Ferris wheel at Toys R Us, dropped a fortune at the M&M store, got swept up into The Transformers: Dark of the Moon premier, ate at the Shake Shack with Aunt Donna, got caught up in a Year of the Rabbit party in our hotel lobby, ate breakfast at a diner, went to the Top of the Rock, took a carriage ride through Central Park, sat five rows back at Wicked, dined at Ellen’s Stardust Diner, took the subway to Penn Station, and got our fannies home. I can DO tourist.
Bonus
My 14-year-old wanted me to include her favorite ornament. It makes her happy year after year because it never loses its bubble bath scent. And because she makes my heart happy, I’m including it. Plus maybe this will make her like the blog better. She’s not a huge fan.
Is your tree a Pinterest dream or a hodgepodge?
Tell us about YOUR favorite ornament!
From The Sisterhood to you, we wish you a Merry Christmas filled with love and happiness.
It was an especially busy week last week. Winter concerts backed up to fall sports banquets (don’t even ask) which piled on top of all of our regularly scheduled things to create a perfect storm of frenzied activity that looks, even in hindsight, exhausting. So it’s no wonder that I almost forgot about the Christmas pageant altogether and even more believable that I nearly overlooked that it would in fact be our very last one too.
In our school, the kids participate in a Christmas pageant from preschool through third grade. This means, if you are a person who likes to keep count, that my family has been in a Christmas pageant every year for nearly forever. We have pinned more than our fair share of ears on our little stable animals, rehearsed lines, practiced songs, and eased stage fright worries. One of the gifts of a larger family is that we move more slowly through childhood. We don’t simply move on from some ages and stages like more economically sized broods. Life and logistics means that we get to stay here a little longer, that our big kids get to linger in little kid land an extra beat, that we get chance after chance after chance to straighten those robes and adjust those halos.
But our youngest son is in third grade now, so this year represents a chapter turning. He has worked himself up from the most reluctant angel to a fairly recalcitrant cow to a barely mumbling narrator to nab himself a primo role as the wiseman Caspar this year. On the one hand, I marvel that the boy finally fits that crown on his head, that he actually delivered his lines, that he sang his song so loud and clear. My heart swells, love grows, pride overflows. On the other hand, well, I miss that little bugger of an angel.
For me, this yearly ritual has been a bit like visiting a favorite vacation spot. We have measured ourselves against this familiar signpost for so long that leaving this Christmas pageant stage behind is going to be a bit of an adjustment. The tree can sparkle like Clark Griswold himself lit her up and the cookies can arrange themsleves in their pretty tins, but the season has not really begun until I see some angels squirming onstage and hear some off-key but earnest singing. This has been as important to my holiday heart as cookies or carols, uncomfortable chairs be damned. My heart has needed the messy, loud, uncontainable thing I witness at these performances to degrinchify it and get it back to the size it should be just in time for Christmas.
But I am going to have to find a new frame of reference, because this Christmas pageant ship has sailed. Lucky for me, I am getting really good at the whole bending, changing, and growing up thing. This time last year my oldest was a senior and getting ready for college. I wasn’t making resolutions because I was just hoping I could become the mom he needed me to be, the one that could let him go.
Now, my oldest son is home after finishing his first semester of college and we are all a little in awe that we are here. We are a new improved version of the “us” I have always known and loved, but we are all getting to now the new individuals we have become in our time apart. Moving beyond the Christmas pageant phase of our life is not the same as moving a kid out of the house, I know, but parts of it feel the same. Just like last year, I feel us all stepping forward into a brave new world.
Now we are no longer a “little kid” family. Toys R Us is not the mothership anymore. We are growing up from top to bottom, so I’ve decided to take my cues from the carol “Auld Lang Syne.” Not just a song about old friends, I like what it says about being graceful and open to the passage of time. I like the parts about moving into the future without denying the past. Sure there has to be a last Christmas pageant, just like there was a first, but there is no use fighting it or crying about it.
Auld Lang Syne. Time goes by. So it does and so do we right along with it. There is nothing to do but turn this chapter and wait eagerly for what is to come.
So you decided one fine December that it would be super swell to make photo books as holiday gifts for the grandparents, siblings, and aunts. And it was . . . but it was so much work. So. Much. Work.
But they loved them, and they fawned over you, and now it’s your thing. Your stressful, time-sucking thing. But you know in your heart it doesn’t have to be that hard. If you just knocked them out earlier in the year it wouldn’t be so bad. Right? RIGHT?! New Year’s resolution time: jump on Shutterfly in January and BOOM, Christmas shopping will be done before the calendar even flips a page.
But things come up, time gets away from you, and then suddenly . . .
It’s dawn on December 5th when you realize the 50% discount–THE BEST OFFER OF THE YEAR–ends at midnight.
Procrastination be damned and with Shutterfly as your witness, you will get the photo books done today!
But first Facebook.
NO! FOCUS! Must start culling through 30 bajillion photos. Because digital.
Declare Part B of your new New Year’s resolution is to delete bad photos as you go along.
(No, you won’t.)
Figure out that NOT ONE of the 50 pictures you shot on burst for the family portrait has everyone looking good (or at least looking at the camera) at the same time.
Spend an hour on PicMonkey frankensteining a photo that is album cover worthy.
Hell, while you’re at it, touch up your roots and whiten your teeth in that one fab picture of yourself in front of the tree.
Crap, you need to get the kids to school.
Okay, focus. Just pick some pictures so a book can actually happen.
Start upload of 331 photos.
Celebrate with your 4th cup of coffee before 10:00 AM because now you can begin the fun stuff of designing your book.
Come back with your 5th mug of coffee and realize not all of the photos are on the site because your internet connection glitched in the middle of your upload.
Go through the tiny thumbnails and figure out what’s missing.
Schedule an appointment with the eye doctor to see if you need glasses.
Start another upload.
Swear you’ll upload your pictures immediately after Christmas this year.
(No you won’t.)
While upload is completing (you won’t dare walk away this time because your broken spirit is too heavy to drag along), pick out the perfect theme.
Treat yourself to a 6th cup of coffee because you picked out the perfect theme in three minutes.
Oh nardbolts, it is one that costs extra.
Go back and settle on a different theme. Convince yourself that your basic family will like the basic theme.
Check on the upload.
Accidentally pause upload because your hands are shaking.
Make yourself a sandwich to soak up the caffeine.
Start the book.
Forty minutes later panic–because while they are PERFECTLY placed–you only have three pictures in your album and it’s now time to pick the kids up from school.
Grind on the homework/dinner/practice/bedtime hamster wheel.
Grab a latte to get you through.
Four hours later get back on Shutterfly.
Add a shot of Bailey’s to your coffee because you realize you only have 45% of one page created.
Pass out on the keyboard because you are EXHAUSTED.
Wake up at 4:00 AM. Succumb to gnashing of teeth and rending of garments BECAUSE YOU MISSED THE DEADLINE!
Start Google search to see how much you could get for a kidney to pay for full price photo books.
Check email and see–can it be true??–the 50% deal has been extended by ONE DAY.
Fall to your knees weeping the praises of Shutterfly and promising to use this second chance to end your procrastinating ways once and for all.
(No you won’t.)
Get the kids to school and crank up that Keurig because momma’s got a photo book to complete.
Bust through 30 pages like a woman possessed by ignoring your family and squashing all semblances of holiday cheer. Hit submit at 11:52 PM.
Revel in those eight minutes to spare.
Be stricken with complete amnesia when those glorious orange boxes show up on your doorstep.
Looking for something perfect to put under the Christmas tree? Nothing warms our hearts and de-grinchifies us faster than a stack of great books. We crowd-sourced our in-real-life Sisterhood to put together this stellar booklist. Some books we have loved, others we are wishing to see under our own trees this Christmas. In any case, they all come stamped with a Sisterhood Seal of Approval, so you can feel confident that your favorite reader will move you to the top of their list after receiving any of these.
A book club pick, we devoured this book individually and as a group. In a nutshell, a young woman loses her job and then goes to work for a young quadriplegic, but that’s just on the book jacket. There is so much meat to this tale. The relationship that develops between Louisa and Will doesn’t just touch the reader, it makes you reevaluate the line between ordinary and extraordinary and the paths we take to get where we need to go. It also launched a great book club discussion which is, of course, the very best endorsement.
A cautionary tale for our hyper-connected world, this riveting tale of Joe and his obsession with the lovely, unsuspecting Beck will heighten your pulse and take your breath away. A creeper tale of the highest order, this story watches Joe watching Beck and then making his move from stalker to boyfriend. Read this one with all the lights on and feel to check your heart rate often during this compulsively readable and thrilling book.
A book club pick from another book club, we were thrilled by Hatmaker’s honest, funny take on parenting, marriage, and modern womanhood. A Christian blogger cum HGTV star, Hatmaker is the best girlfriend you wish you had. This book means you can carry her wisdom and wit with you all the way through the carpool line and beyond.
Wickedly funny, this book starts with relatively unlikeable characters, adds some loose connections to the story “The Necklace” by Guy de Maupassant, throws in a road trip, and somehow ends up with a satisfying read. The three young people at the heart of this one–Kezia, Victor, and Nathaniel–were best friends in college who crash back in to each other’s lives at a wedding. Their intricate dance throughout the novel holds all the moving pieces here together, but Crosley’s wry funny observations and humor are the real stars. Erin quoted this book out loud to her husband many times. Be prepared to laugh and cry.
Erin is a Freakonomics podcast enthusiast and found this recommendation in an episode. Funny as well as fascinating, this book takes on the idea that is transforming behavioral economics: small changes can produce great results. Finding a book to stimulate your mind and your funny bone at the same time is like finding a bathing suit in January, but this is one magical unicorn of a book. Not just appropriate for non-fiction lovers, this book will thrill anyone curious about why people do what they do. It might make you reevaluate how funny college professors really can be. A fun, fascinating read.
Full disclosure: we really liked Gone Girl so this book which has hints of that same dark heart beating beneath the shiny surface of the marriage between these two new beautiful people thrills us. But this is not Gone Girl Lite. Groff is a beautiful writer and the power of her prose combined with the structure she imposes here give this book new heights to reach and new depths to plumb. With the two points of view explored fully and exposed honestly, this book could also have been titled TheRise and Fall of a 20 Year Marriage, but even that falls short of the literary magic happening here. Love her or hate her, Groff of Arcadia fame is a reader’s writer and this story moves, breathes, and completely blows away what you ever thought about long term relationships.
Another wife gone missing book with an important difference: Pitlor’s gifted hand. She draws everyday married life in all it unexceptional uniqueness. When Hannah disappears after an argument with her husband Lovell, the story of their marriage unfolds as the mystery begs to be resolved. Pitlor deftly explores the special country that each love story spawns with exquisite and realistic detail. You have seen those blind turns, you have navigated these back roads. A page turner with heart and humor.
Another look at yet another marriage, but this time the focus includes the teens caught in the crossfire. The immensely gifted Pierpont draws the philandering Jack, his wife Deb, and their two children with such clarity that their pain is palpable. An inventive structure to the novel adds layers to this already complex and accurate portrayal of a modern family in distress.
This book is a novelization of the up close and brutal of the adoption process. The complex, often times unlikeable characters of Jesse and Ramone populate this novel with their insecurities and shortcomings, but ultimately this book wins because it has a raw honesty. Though it is at times bitter, this vulnerability and truth is also welcome. Dark humor and real emotion pull this novel along.
This book answers the question: what happens after the torpedo hits the bow? A novel set in New York City, this story follows the Darling family, a family firmly in the 1%, after a financial scandal threatens to sink the whole ship. Rich with details of what it’s really like inside the hearts, minds, homes, and work spaces of the wealthy elite, this book will definitely grab your imagination. The well paced plot and superbly drawn characters will keep it.
So don’t forget: nothing says “I love you” like a stack of books under the tree on Christmas morn.
Didn’t find what you are looking for?
Check out our other booklists from this year here and here and here and here.
Teens are a notoriously tough crowd, so we get the sheer panic at trying to buy a gift for them. A stack of gift cards or a card stuffed with cash would certainly be appreciated, but there is no need to shy away from at least trying to surprise them. In the past, we have created lists just for teen girls and teen guys, but this year there is something for everyone in our teen gift guide. Miracles can happen. Perhaps you will find just the right gift to make your holiday sparkle a little brighter this year. Take a look!
Just For Fun
Don’t forget that teens are just kids who shave and drive. Get them back in touch with their inner child with some of these fun gifts!
Some teens are industrious and like a project. This is one of the best ones we have seen with an end project that won’t burn down your house or end up in the trash.
Teens love water and electronics, but these two things don’t mix well. An especially good idea for your favorite lifeguard or swimmer, this shuffle will deliver their tunes and help keep their other electronics safe.
This is the perfect gift for any audiovisually inclined teen. The microphone works easily with DSLRs and mirrorless cameras alike. This mean that whether he’s recording his video game reviews or she’s showing off her dance moves, your future YouTube sensation will have supersonic, crystal clear audio.
Screw these into any can or track lighting, and you have awesome Bluetooth speakers plus a light show. By downloading an app, you control it all from your smartphone. Teens will appreciate the two-in-one approach to the fun.
Just use the app to connect this printer to any smartphone. Simply choose a photo and it will create a small, instant Instax print of the photo. Lots of people can connect to it at once which makes it great for parties and a winner for any tech-y, photo-loving teen.
Games Teens Play
Here’s a tip: a plain old deck of Bicycle Standard Index Playing Cards is a great stocking stuffer. Our teens love good old-fashioned cards, but if you want to get a little fancier, here are some winners we like.
Your teens will love it as much as ours do. They love teaming up as disease-fighting specialists in this one. If the disease spreads, everybody loses. If they contain the outbreak, they all win. Family fun and peace in one box. Fa-la-la-la-la.
Looking for some active fun? This game combines elements of virtually all outdoor games and lawn sports. Throwing, catching, strategy, teamwork, offense, and defense are part of every toss in game play.
This guide is THE book for the teen who still loves his or her comics. The cool infographics on every page visually represent the kind of minutiae that feeds the soul of a true fan.
Watney’s humor and humanity breathe life into this well-paced and thoughtfully constructed story about a man’s struggle for survival in an unforgiving environment. His plucky ultimate underdog self will win teen hearts as the real science sprinkled throughout engages their minds.
This story of first love is peopled with high schoolers the way we remember them and know them now. Funny, sweet, vulnerable, flawed, and deeply striving for love, acceptance, and independence, these are characters to cheer for and your teens will. The Barnes and Noble sales rack calls this a teen romance. It’s so much more. A buoyant, wonderful read that makes a perfect gift.
With a sweet price point under $30, these bracelets make a lovely gift. Girls can stack them to infinity and beyond, so don’t feel like you have to just buy one.
If you have a music-loving teen, this gift is thoughtful and practical. No ads, total control over what songs they hear, and the ability to keep the music playing even without phone service make Spotify a winner.
Got an athlete? This combination step tracker + GPS sport watch tracks steps, pace, distance covered and calories burned. It will even tell you to get up and get moving if you have been hanging around too long.
Made from super-strong, orange nylon webbing, this camera strap attaches to the camera’s tripod socket. Hanging upside down at your side rather than around your neck and available in two versions, one that goes over your shoulder and another that goes across your body like a typical R-strap, this is a special gift for your photo-junkie teen.
Hope these help you have the happiest of holidays!
Do you feel like the holidays are one raging whitewater current sweeping you up in October and dumping you onto the barren shore just south of New Year’s Eve? Or is it north of? Either way . . .
US TOO!
Picture us yelling that at you with a Charlie Brown style force sufficient to send you somersaulting backwards. Which reminds us, we need to dig out our copies of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Pronto. Oh wait, that’s what Netflix is for. Look at us, we just wiped one thing off of our to-do lists.
Anyway, what we really want to convey is that while we loooooovvve the holidays, they can be a bit overwhelming. And we’re thinking we aren’t alone. Doesn’t everyone’s festivities land somewhere between any Hallmark movie ever and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?
We tell you all about it in this podcast (player is at the bottom of the post). In fact this book served as a launching pad for recounting our own holiday stories of hijinx.
We’ll tell you about
The year Thanksgiving dinner came out of a blender.
Why “BOOM GOES THE TURKEY LEG” is Erin’s personal battle cry.
The Pilgrimages to Poland for mechanical Santas. (You can SEE what we are talking about here.)
The year Ellen buzzed through Christmas on her Jazzy.
And finally, the miracle that will whittle down your outside decorating efforts to locating one extension cord: Star Shower Laser Lights. Ellen gives you the highlights in the podcast, but since we know you will want one, you can get your own here on Amazon. See how it shows up even on Ellen’s brick house? Amazing. You can use the green setting during Halloween and the red and green setting for Christmas.
If you have a hankering for our full buffet of holiday fare, behold.
Mother’s Day is once again upon us. A holiday proposed by Anna M. Jarvis to honor her mother that was so quickly perverted into a money-making scheme for the floral industry that she later sued to have Mother’s Day eradicated. She even went to jail over it. We are not kidding. We looked up the history and ranted about it (extensively) here.
But apparently the force is strong with the floral lobbyists, because Ms. Jarvis was no match for the ball she started rolling, since to this day we are expected to shower and be showered with gifts. Now we are suckers for homemade cards, dandelion bouquets, and macaroni tiaras because they are kid-sourced and from the heart. However, let’s just say some of the other store bought gifts and gestures might not exactly hit the mark. We’re looking at you, dads and other significant others who get involved.
We do appreciate the effort, but maybe you should save us all some time, hassle, and money, and simply toss the kids some construction paper and markers–but for the love of crafting herpes, NO GLITTER! So if it’s the thought that counts, tally up these thoughts moms have about certain presents. Let’s just put it out there that some gifts and gestures might not be saying what you think they’re saying.
1. Fresh Flowers
Wow. Not only did you forget about my raging allergies, you have given me yet one more thing to keep alive in the house. So if it comes down to the flowers or the cat, which should I choose? The litter box is pretty nasty. Hmmmm.
2. Shrub
Okay, so now I’m not only pressured to keep something else alive, I have to sweat through my granny panties to get it in the ground. A gift that has never-ending responsibility, requires tools, a hose, and heavy lifting? Um, thank you?
3. Breakfast in Bed
No stone-cold slice of bacon or dried-up piece of toast is worth the mess I will face in the kitchen.
4. Coupon Book
Oh thanks, nothing says love and “Mother’s Day is today?!” more than empty promises. Combine this with the deed to a castle and the registration papers for a unicorn and I’ve got me one humdinger of a gift.
5. Jewelry
Thanks for noticing I haven’t worn a piece of jewelry since I birthed spawn from my loins. Ripped earlobes and strangulation just aren’t that appealing to me. Strange, I know.
6. Designer Chocolates
You know I’m on a diet! Wait a minute . . . did you all just want a box of fancy chocolates for yourselves? If life is like a box of chocolates, then I just got punked.
7. Blender/Waffle Iron/Crockpot/Vacuum/Toaster
If your “gift” is part of a chore for me, just turn around slowly and put it back on the shelf . . . OR someone might get hurt. I don’t even care if it’s cute. On second thought, if this is your clever way of telling me you got me lifetime maid service, then proceed.
8. Perfume
Once again, allergies. And if you all just picked up your stinky socks, you wouldn’t have to depend on my hygiene to make this abode a fresher place to live. I swear, the pressure to make your lives great is never-ending.
9. Books
How dare you! No, just kidding. A book is actually gift perfection, and if you combine it with a locked door and a cup of hot tea, you’ve just won yourself “Kid of the Year.” Might we suggest a few books any mother would love?
by Jojo Moyes
by Jen Hatmaker
so this book which has hints of that same dark heart beating beneath the shiny surface of the marriage between these two new beautiful people thrills us. But this is not Gone Girl Lite. Groff is a beautiful writer and the power of her prose combined with the structure she imposes here give this book new heights to reach and new depths to plumb. With the two points of view explored fully and exposed honestly, this book could also have been titled The Rise and Fall of a 20 Year Marriage, but even that falls short of the literary magic happening here. Love her or hate her, Groff of 
fame is a reader’s writer and this story moves, breathes, and completely blows away what you ever thought about long term relationships.
is a great stocking stuffer. Our teens love good old-fashioned cards, but if you want to get a little fancier, here are some winners we like.
by Nicholas Sparks
