You know what’s easier than making resolutions? Well, technically resolutions are fairly simple to make, it’s the keeping of them that gets thorny. But anyway, looking on the “plus side” of what you’ve got is MUCH easier than that whole goal making/self-improvement hoohaa. By the way, “plus side.” Get it? Because we’re spin doctoring talking about extra weight? Laughter is the best medicine, People, get on board.
So while we’re squeezing into our 2013 jeans because of holiday confectionery-bacon-whiskey-sour-slushy-roast-beast gluttony, we give you nine reasons we think it’s great to be a little fluffier.
1. You have no fear of ice! When you fall on your butt, you’ll bounce like a Bumble instead of cracking that tailbone. Even if you aren’t a klutz, a little extra cushion always comes in handy when you’re logging those hours on Candy Crush.
2.Subzero temps don’t put a chill in your heart! You’ll be content as a polar bear with your extra insulation as you fire up the minivan for morning carpool. While others are saying, “Brrrrr,” you’ll be proclaiming, “Brrrring it!”
3. Extra poundage adds extra rad to your rack! Know what we mean, Ladies? Bonus: you have a little more capacity in your Cleavage Crumb Catcher. Comes in handy when devouring those stale Christmas cookies in the pantry because it hides the evidence from prying little eyes.
4.Your problem with missing clothes is over! Your teenage daughter certainly didn’t “borrow” the pants you’re going to wear today. Nobody wants the fat jeans. Waa waaaa.
5. No more fighting with Grandma! One look at the junk in your trunk and she’ll stop pushing that last piece of pie on you.
6.Your fear of heights is a moot point! You’ll always get to be the bottom of that team-building pyramid.
7.You’ll get more bang for your buck! No longer will your spouse feel like the “All-You-Can-Eat” buffet is wasted money on you.
8.Yoursense of accomplishment in the everyday is renewed! Successfully bending over to tug on those Uggs is celebration worthy. And actually tying shoes? Get outta here! Treat yourself to that leftover fruitcake cluttering your counter.
9.People won’t bug you about your New Year’s Resolutions! They already know. Oh, yes, they already know.
The topic for Monday Listicles is 10 THINGS YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF CHANGING IN 2013. This one came from the lovely guru herself , Stasha at The Good Life.
Erin:Our girl Stasha is definitely speaking our language on this one.
Ellen: We are in no way disrespecting resolutions. We both agree that they are noble. It’s just I’m not into making promises in the deep dark of winter that I know I’m going to depress myself by breaking. Resolutions are just so much pressure. I’m more of a September — back to school, shiny new shoes, fresh start — kind of girl.
Erin:Aww, you make me want to bring you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils. (“You’ve Got Mail”, anyone?)
Truth be told, I’m really more of a July—too busy hanging out by the pool with a cool drink to bother with some pesky resolutions–kind of girl. But I do like to at least go through the motions of recording goals, so we have a tradition for that.
Every New Year’s morning, I set the dining room table with butcher paper (or plain sheets of paper if I run out of butcher paper like I did this year!). There are six different headings and everybody who is around has to finish the statements in the heading (Sorry, SIL and BIL, but you stay, you play!). This little tradition always yields funny and sweet results. Check out these gems from this year.
But even with these fabulous resolutions to inspire you, here are . . .
10 Things That Will Not Change In 2013
On a Scale of Sappy to What-the-Fudge?
1. Savoring the Moments
Erin:Even though it seems completely inconceivable, I have a high schooler. I know I’m not just looking at this through mommy goggles, either. My lifelong friend Rob’s comment about our Christmas picture— “Holy crap, that’s Ace?”— just cements that it’s unbelievable.Ace will be going to college in two and a half years and I am soaking up the moments we are all together. I am basking in the times we can just be.
This may be uber-over-the-top-sappy, but this is my life right now and I am unapologetic in recording it all in my heart and head and blog to tuck away for those moments later when he will be off doing awesome things and we are just left missing him.
Ellen: I would be making fun of you right now but, *sob* I have a ninth grader. And I’ll miss Ace, too.
Erin: Okay. Somebody pass me a tissue. And a cocktail. I have to go sign him up for driver’s ed.
2. Alone Time With Our Husbands
Ellen: Not every household is made up of two parents, but if yours is, you have to work to keep that relationship strong.
Erin:And that means vanquishing the guilt over spending time away from your kids! It is more than okay to spend time on your relationship/marriage. Think of it as a gift to your kids. And your sanity.
Ellen: And here’s a little Sisterhood Secret for you: The more routine you make it, the easier it is for you to maintain and for your kids to accept.
Erin:Swap with friends . . .
Ellen: She means babysitting kids, not husbands.
Erin:Put it in the budget, tell family members to give you babysitting instead of gifts, spend a small fortune on camps. Do whatever it takes.
Ellen: A night in a hotel can really readjust your meter for not sweating the small stuff. If you know what I mean.
3. Writing Things Our Kids Can Read
Ellen: I am constantly preaching to my children about not offering up anything to the internet machine that they don’t want to see immortalized forever. And since we are more lead-by-example kinds of mommas, we try to keep it PG-13 around here, even up there in point #2. I keep a heavy lid on my robust swearing habit in real life, so why let the bombs fly here? Where it can be Googled.
Erin:We also try to be fair and kind and to not write anything that is going to be hurtful or offensive. But we’re not saints,and we’re not perfect.
Ellen: The one group we don’t honor are those poor souls who have lost their senses of humor.
Erin:But hey, it’s a hard knock life for those buttercups anyway, so what are you going to do?
Ellen: But maybe we should set the filter standards higher for the pictures we post.
Ellen and Erin: NAH!
Purty as princesses.
4. Our Blogging Cooperation – Bloggeration
Erin:We are not gonna lie to you. It takes some a very specific friendship to be able to blog together like we do. I swear I can handle Ellen, because her voice sounds an awful lot like my husband’s in my head.
Ellen: Alright! I have one thing that could change for 2013! Could you please stop saying that? Creepers.
Erin:You know what I mean. I need your “type” in my life—the type that brings me down to earth and keeps it real. You even share the same birthday. How’s that for creepers??
But the truth is that among the many other things we have learned from blogging together this year, we’ve also figured out when to walk away and when to give some slack.
Ellen: Interesting. You are truly one of the most forgiving and easy-going people I know . . . except when you’re not. Which leads us to our next point . .
5. Bunco
Erin: Dear sweet well-intentioned friends, please do not invite me to Bunco. Bring on Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, even Just Dance 4! I rock at real games. But this “game” makes me yearn for that dark beast of board games, Chutes and Ladders —the game that subjects adults to hours of mind-numbing climbing and sliding repetitive hell.
Oh, but Bunco is about socializing and hanging out and drinking lovely girl-y drinks, you say! You love all that, you say! Well, the little BUNCO dice are the evil overlords of fun and they seem hell-bent on interrupting my good time flow. They determine where you sit, who you hang with, and where you move. I will have just settled into my chair with my cocktail when I am sent packing because I didn’t roll 3s. Makes me tweak-y.
Ellen: And rant-y. Good grief. Dude, I just think you don’t like to be told what to do. You’re not comfortable unless you are the Grandmaster Game Master. What was that guy’s name in Saw? If anyone wants to invite me to a night out with friends, snacks, and wine, tweet me up.
Erin:Oh my word. Moving on . . .
6. Hobbit
Ellen: I know we just said we aim to not purposely offend anyone, but we are making an exception with The Hobbit. We are just not entertained by hairy barefooted fantastical little freaks. We are not going to see it.
Erin:Not in a theater, not in a plane.
Ellen: Not on Showtime, or Netflix, or even on a train.
Erin:Not out of Redbox or Xbox, because it would drive us insane.
Ellen: We’re just not going to view it, have we made ourselves plain?
Erin:We’re hoping our love for Dr. Seuss counteracts your offense springing from our hatred for hobbits.
Full disclosure: Erin’s whole clan saw it to mixed reviews. 3 out of 5 stars.
7. Fat Pants Free Zone
Ellen: This one is my rant, but Erin is whittling away so she is chucking fat pants away left and right. I, on the other hand, have one pair of jeans that fits me and a whole GAP store full of jeans that are just a little snug — if, by snug, I meant like a freakin’ tourniquet. But I am not buying any “fat pants.” I will lose the Fifteen (lbs) After Forty (years) and triumphantly wear my wardrobe again. This I pledge for I am Sparticus! Too dramatic?
Erin:Absolutely not. Just try not to burn Athens in your wake.
Don’t hate Erin because she looks like she’s wearing clown pants.
8. The War and Peace Trap
Erin:If the last one was all you, then this one is all me and has been for like 15 years. Every year, I always have the best intentions of reading Tolstoy’s War and Peace and every year I find about 52 books I would rather read more. Every year, I think roping my pals into doing it too means that I’ll actually follow through. And every year, a handful of lovely, sweet victims, er, I mean friends, add this tome to their list of “have-read”s while it remains solidly on my “to-do” list.
Ellen: How many times has this happened?
Erin:I’m out of digits.
Ellen: And let the record show I have never fallen for this trap.
Erin: But this is the year! It’s gonna happen.
Ellen: Not. Falling. For. That. One.
9. We are Fourth Decaders One Directioners
Erin:In fact, if anything, we’re kickin’ it up a notch.
Ellen: We are going to see One Direction in concert! That’s right! We are going to stand in the midst of throngs of hormonal teen and tween girls and sing our little hearts out making memories all the while.
Erin: <singing> That’s what makes us beautiful.
Ellen: And smart. We got huge Mom Points on this one. And it was the easiest Mom Points ever, because you know I love them.
The lads and Ellen had a brilliant Christmas.
10. Christmas Decorations
Ellen: As we have stated before, we are very traditional and sentimental about our Christmas decorations.
Erin:But let’s face it, we are also very pressed for time in December. So, we’re considering just leaving them up until next year. Save some hassle.
Ellen: Never mind we both have live trees.
Erin:Well, how about just the outside ones, you know, because mine were so spectacularly gorgeous.
Yes, we realized that there were shorts in the line. No, we didn’t fix it. Yes, you should be very grateful that we are not your neighbors.
Ellen: The kicker is you actually chose to plug that sadness in every. single. night. And your next door neighbor looked like the scene below. I think you have enough bulbs there to spell out “Ditto.”
Erin:Yeah, I’ll file that suggestion away for next year. Somewhere . . . where the Christmas lights don’t shine.
So, whether you decide to make a resolution this year or not, we both hope you have a great new year. You can definitely start out on the right foot by checking out Monday Listicles and exploring some of the great bloggers there. It’s easy. You can do it in your pajamas. So get over there already!!
