You know we’re big proponents of talking early and talking often with your children about all of the important things in life. And what can be more important to kids than their ever-changing bodies? So when Cider Mill Press asked us to review The Boy’s Body Book and The Girl’s Body Book, we were happy to oblige.
Although the following books are new to us, we quickly fell in love, because they recognize the obvious, beautiful truth: puberty is different for boys and girls. Each book has very similar chapters, themes, and information just slightly modified in tone and information to more gender-specific changes. Erin’s “baby” who happens to be going into third grade is enjoying the boy’s book immensely.
Yes, this book has all the requisite good scientific information we require of a resource we are going to hand off to our kids, but it’s packed full of other good things too. The layout and format are truly engaging. The breezy, conversational tone coupled with fun artwork and compact chapters makes it immensely easy to read, and more importantly, to comprehend. There are also some bells and whistles that got us excited to add these to our library. Erin’s newly twelve-year-old was a big fan of the Quick Tips like this one:
Don’t assume that someone doesn’t want to be friends just because they don’t say hi to you. The person could be really shy and afraid to make the first move.
“The Expert Says” sections were also a big hit. Research in a digestible soundbite? Sign us up for more of those please. And while you’re at it, keep the boy testimonials scattered throughout the book coming too. We loved reading real boys weighing in on real issues in their real voices in “Boys Say.” By far though, our favorite section was the one titled “The Care and Feeding of Parents” which gives kids great practical advice about how to talk to their parents so they’ll listen. We laughed out loud and then had the great conversation that you always hope will start when you hand your kid a book like this one.
All the fine points of the boy book with some changes to better suit girls and their adolescent journey. We loved how the “Boys Say” column became “Notes from a Real Girl” here, and the well-chosen and thoughtful quotes sprinkled throughout the text were just as meaningful and welcome. Erin’s now sixteen-year-old daughter said that the “Know the Facts” section about pads versus tampons was exactly what she was looking for when she was younger. This book would have totally made Erin’s life easier. This book addresses all the aspects of life for a tween and teen from dressing right, to school, to relationships with friends and family, and everything in between.
Overall, both books deftly handle the modern landscape that our kids have to negotiate throughout adolescence. They address the importance of staying safe in relationships and online, while still keeping them entertaining with a friendly, supportive tone too. These books imply that despite the tumultuous, sometimes confusing and isolating changes kids are experiencing in adolescence there is support as well as the opportunity to thrive in spite of the challenges they might face.
And to help you out, we’re giving away a copy of each book! If you are 18 or older and reside in the United States, enter the easy Rafflecopter form for your chance to win. Giveaway ends on 8/30/15 at 12:00 am.
Have you gotten to that point in the summer where–if your kids are anything like ours–you can actually see the knowledge oozing out of their ears like a Popsicle melting on a parking lot seven inches away from the concession stand?
Was this the summer you weren’t going to let that happen?
Did you gather brochures for stats camp, space camp, ninja training, and that Rodin sculpting seminar, but they’ve now been used one by one for fly swatters and gum-parking stations?
Did you have every intention of making multiplication flash cards, but haven’t mustered the enthusiasm to buy the index cards or to install the app or to use the calculator on your phone?
Did you purchase the ingredients for that Thunderstorm in a Cup experiment you saw on Pinterest, but they are still clanking around in your trunk with the jumper cables?
Did you check out the entire Charles Dickens collection with every intention of constructing a kicky homage diorama with your kids, but the books are way past due and the librarians are starting to don brass knuckles when you enter the building?
Yeah, summer enrichment seems like a great idea in April when the air is warming and life feels fresh and new. But then the End of School Year Gomorrah sucks the life out of you with the endless sports banquets AND field trips AND plays AND concerts AND awards assemblies so that even packing school lunches makes you want to strangle a bluebird.
Then summer hits with its breezy schedule and you think, “We all deserve a little break before buckling down,” and before you know it, the only exam your kids can pass is the swim test and you have the motivation of a sloth at a sleep convention to do anything about it.
Don’t bother searching for those brochures! They’re gone; get over it. We have a real solution! TAKE ‘EM TO THE CARNIVAL!
What? Don’t roll your eyes at us. Allow us to construct the excusejustification reasoning, so that by the end of all this, you’ll be calling your accountant to write off the whole adventure as an education expense.
Six Ways the Carnival is Just Like Gifted and Talented Camp
1. Future Surgeons of America
Why just learn about how the colon works when you can see it in action? Experiment with how quickly a $3.00 chili dog with three pumps of pseudo-cheese and extra relish can initiate a colon cleanse in a 40 year old woman. Which leads us to . . .
2. Olympians R Us
The Race to the Port-A-Potty Dash where we ALL win if she makes it in time. Watch her hurdle small children and hold in sharts with absolutely no grace whatsoever.
3. Smithsonian Simulation
The carnival is tons better than any textbook. It’s living history really. Where else can you hear a theatrical re-telling of “Tales of Severed Fingers and the Ferris Wheels That Caused Them” by a safety inspector who was alive during the Civil War?
4. Junior Scientists
Two words: Ball. Pit. So much surface area for so many germs. Each child can get a different disease: ebola, and chiggers, and warts, oh my! Experience is so much better than any book learnin’. CDC here we come!
5. Shakespearean ‘Xperiences
There are OODLES of opportunities for grammar lessons . . . and that’s just in the line to get ride tickets. Explain how the eff bomb is a noun, verb, and an adjective. Oh, and the reading opportunities are so varied and fun! There are signs everywhere–goodies such as “No urinating on the electrical cords” and “May cause death or mutilation.”
That brings us to everyone’s favorite . . .
6. Mathletes Mania
Your child will be able to ace the SATs before they hit puberty with problems like these:
If an unlimited ride bracelet costs a bazillion dollars and 20 tickets costs a bajillion dollars divided by 2 (take into account every ride takes an odd number of tickets, but they are only sold in even sets), how big is the second mortgage you must take out on your home to prevent your child leaving the carnival in tears because they were denied one last chance to spew chunks of their neon blue snow cone on the Tilt-A-Whirl?
See? SEE!? You a believer now? You’re welcome. Now go call your accountant about that tax break and tell them the Sensible Moms sent you.
Social media can seem like a scary, gnashing machine ready to chew up your precious darlings and ruin every job interview they have from now to forever, amen. Sexting. Bullying. A forever footprint. These are just a few of our least favorite things.
But just take a moment and relax, friend. This is a soft place to land because we are the best tour guides ever. Not only do we understand the hostile environment because we are navigating the social media mire every day with our own teens and tweens, we have the resources and knowledge to help you, too. In addition to our working-in-it-every-day internet savvy, Erin is a middle school teacher showing kids the internet ropes each and every day.
Parenting favors the well-prepared. Behold all that you need to arm yourself with information (and lots of it) to stay one step ahead of your tech savvy kids.
We’re all living in the twenty-first century, but some of us are embracing it a little more than others. If you are completely clueless, start with Teach Parents Tech. This site makes our heart sing. It will walk you through nearly every step of basic computer functions. What to do, how to do it, step by step. It’s digital hand-holding at its finest. Back in the beginning of blogging when Erin was a bit of a tech spazz, we would BOTH have loved this site.
If you are competent, but want to be cool, you are ready for Cool Mom Tech. Seriously, Kristen and Liz are our go-to girls for all things tech-y fun. All the latest and greatest are compiled on their site. Your kids will be so impressed and your friends will start thinking you are the tech guru.
Finally, you want to stay committed to being on top of the ever-changing world of tech, so become acquainted with TechSavvyMama. From her fabulous tech gift guides to her great, thoughtful posts about digital parenting, like this one about 10 Things Families Should Discuss to Have Healthier Relationships with Devices, we pretty much love what she has to say about technology and kids. Things are changing all the time and she’ll keep you at the forefront of what is coming down the internet.
And speaking of the internet, we love these great websites too. Whether we are looking for reviews or resources, these websites always deliver.
Ok, full disclosure: Erin is a huge Star Wars fan, but this site would be awesome even if it wasn’t the brainchild of George Lucas. This clearinghouse for all things that are working in education is not just a treasure trove for teachers but parents as well. In terms of educating parents on how to navigate the confusing world of tech, the site is top notch. Check out its Digital Literacy Resources for Parents. You will be glad you did, and while you are here, poke around a little, TONS of great resources on all things related to education.
This is the MacDaddy of digital citizenship. From lesson plans for teachers to reviews of everything digital (LITERALLY!) (video games to movies to television), this site has it ALL. You can be confident that all the resources you find here have been compiled by smart people who are committed to keeping kids safe on the internet and giving parents useful tools for parenting in a digital age.
Every parent will say one of their chief concerns about having their kids interact on social media is their safety, and well it should be as the internet is a bit like the wild west. This site is great for allaying fears while also being incredibly honest and informative about exactly what your kid will face in each social media outlet.
Which brings us to the next important issue: Do you know where your kids are? Back in the day, this meant checking out street corners. Today, it means you should be looking at your browser history.
We are here to tell you that THESE sites are where your kids are online. Follow the guides. Educate yourself and make a plan with your kid about how your family will treat technology.
There are also some great digital workshops where you can explore exactly what it means to be leading a digital life. Your family will find great resources to launch a conversation about good citizenship online, the potential dangers of the internet, and even some of the benefits of social media interaction.
Finally, we are not espousing any particular way to treat technology in your family, but we want you to have all the information you need to parent through the thorny digital landscape. We respect that each family has its own needs and therefore will develop its own relationship with social media, so we will just say this: take your time. Thoughtful, reflective, informed, and available parenting is the very best kind in our opinion. Let kids know that you care and you want to keep them safe.
If you also want to set some limits, here are some ways to lock the internet down a little. Just remember: nothing is foolproof.
And if you really, really, really want to set some tight controls, here are some Internet Filtering Tools that for a nominal fee will keep your kids far away from anything you deem unnecessary for your family.
See? It’s all not-so-scary. Hope you enjoyed this five cent tour of social media. We hope these tips allay your fears and help you do the job we’re all trying to do well—parent in this new digital age.
Feel free to leave a question if there is a resource you are still looking for. We might be able to help you find it.
—Erin and Ellen
Check out the new parental control app to manage your child’s phone use that we love here!
Is it over our call to action to stop judging mothers over how much and well they cherish motherhood?
Nope.
Is it over Ellen’s commentary about the Goldieblox ad boiling down to a sort of reverse discrimination against females?
Well, there was that one commenter on the Huffington Post Parents Facebook page who called Ellen and her daughters “a bag of rocks,” but mostly the responses were positive.
Oh yeah, that did stir the pot, but that was awhile ago.
No, our fine friends, we are currently being lambasted for OUR GIFT GUIDES.
See, our gift guides were featured on CNN.com We even got two slides! But it was our board game suggestions that made BoardGameGeek.com lash out like Munchkins with battleaxes.
We are being called antiquated sexists because Would You Rather was listed on the Teen Girl Guide and The Settlers of Catan was listed on the Teen Guy Guide. The comments are fairly vehement, but most didn’t feel strongly enough to leave anything but fake names like “Shame on you” and “Mrs. Mystery Bob.”
“Shame on you for maintaining sterotypes [sic] and suggesting that great boatdgames [sic] are for “boys only”. My daughters love Pandemic, Catan, and Munchkin. It shocks me to see such sexism on this website. You should be ashamed of yourselves.”
“The boys get Catan & Pandemic, and the girls get Would you Rather? I guess my mom is more sensible than you claim to be. Did you know it’s 2014?”
“Would You Rather is a terrible choice for a board game. There is no reason why teen boys would enjoy more serious fare, while teen girls are stuck playing a game with no thinking involved. Poor, sexist choice. I expected better from this site.”
Yeah, it’s just awful when games and activities are fun. You’re right. Ellen’s daughter should definitely not have a choice to relax with some silliness after studying for AP calculus and biology all week long.
And then there was this:
“I find this list strange and a bit sad. First of all, as a mom of a young teen, I know fully well what her interests and preferences are like and can assure you that nothing on this list would interest her. I know the books and subjects she enjoys, the music and movies she prefers, and the personal care items and clothing styles she likes. What kind of parent doesn’t know their child or take the trouble to get to know them and these details? Certainly not a sensible parent.
Secondly, as an avid gamer I can assure you that “Would you rather?” is an humorous activity and not really a game and that Eat Poop You Cat or Werewolf are miles better fun activities than that title.
My daughter loves games and they include Hive, YINSH, TZAAR, Morels, The Little Prince: Make me a Planet, K2, Hoppladi Hopplada, Lakota, Dixit, and Ticket to Ride. I did buy her a boardgame for the holidays. I bought her 1911 Amundsen vs Scott (because she saw the video of it and was very interested).
This list is offense to independent females everywhere and only serves to perpetuate stereotypes of “Girls like XYZ” and Boys like ABC” and never the two shall meet.
Would you honestly rather ask lame questions of each other or sit down to race to the South Pole?
These lists do more harm than good, IMHO.
And moms, if you don’t know anything about your daughter, don’t buy a gift off of a “Best gifts for my daughter” list, chances are the gift will fail as children are not “one size fits all”. Take the opportunity to speak and share with her and discover what makes her tick, what excites her, what she fears, and what she dreams. That will be a win-win for you both. If not………buy her a gift card which is ALWAYS a welcome gift. [spelling and grammar their own]”
We are sad and doing harm. With gift guides. But the real message is either know your teens really well . . . or just get them gift cards.
And they’re serious about this. They are now tweeting the message forum thread link at us. Yeah, we know there’s a thread with over a hundred posts bashing us or discussing various gender issues. We saw it already because we know how Google and IP addresses work.
There were great comments like this on the thread:
“Really annoyed me to see this kind of sexism being perpetuated STILL. Shame on you Sensible Soccer Moms. Girls like Pandemic, Settlers of Catan, and Munchkin, too. Boo.”
Because apparently making gift guides for girls is bad, but stereotyping us as Soccer Moms and implying it is an insult is okay? So what’s the cut-off age for championing females? We’re not sure, but we’re going to assume it is way before 40.
And then there was this one:
“You know what’s not sensible? A ridiculous URL like that.”
Ouch. Ellen hasn’t encountered that brand of hate since she first started dating her to-be-husband and his ex-girlfriend told her she had an ugly name. To quote T Swift, “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.”
So here are the six diabolical steps behind these polarizing gift guides.
A blogger friend told us gift guides are huge around the holidays.
We thought, “We have kids that like stuff. We could do gift guides.”
We picked things at varying, reasonable price points that were easy to order online.
All the gifts on the lists are things that our teens own that they have enjoyed.
Lists were shared with CNN.
And then we watched the world burn. Mwahahahaha!
So how did we decide to do two lists? Why would we do that? WHY WOULD WE DO THAT?!?!
Well, it all boils down to division of labor. There are two of us running this blog, so we made two lists. We worked on them separately, because that is how two people can get tasks done in half the time. Duh. What was REALLY important to us was that the items were things we authentically loved. We didn’t just pick random gifts off of Amazon. Ellen only has teen daughters so with this criteria, she was only qualified to recommend gifts for girls. Erin has a teen daughter and teen boys, but she took on the gift guide for boys. Because division of labor.
So if the Geeks had bothered to read Erin’s intro, she states:
“With four sons between the ages of 7 and 17, my house is a living laboratory of the modern American young man. With the holidays looming, people ask me often what might make a great gift for their favorite nephew/cousin/brother/godson. Of course, I have a teen daughter too and she loves a lot of this stuff too.”
So here are five truths, and three confessions that might further put this all in perspective. Perspective is so important . . . or so we’ve been told.
The Truths:
1. These are gift guides, not shopping lists. We are not commanding you to go out to the store and buy, Buy, BUY! If you find one item you like, SUCCESS! If you think the items are stupid, move onto the next gift guide. We wish you luck!
2. Ellen was pretty psyched about Erin’s list because it introduced her to “Pandemic.” It truly made her geeky M.D. senses tingle . Plus, she had the added smug satisfaction of picking it off of the boys list and smashing stereotypes! Winning!
3. Our kids have other things and interests beyond what is on those lists. In fact, they have such varied and expansive interests that no gift guide can contain them! Go figure.
For example, Ellen’s STEM track, robotics competing, fiction writing, Science Olympiad participating, Destination Imagination winning, musician daughters build Star Wars Legos, play basketball, volleyball, and tennis, and have a Nerf gun arsenal. Erin’s honor roll daughter is a story spinning, cross country running, marching band maestro who enjoys camping, Comic Con, and Settlers of Catan.
Ellen would never be so jerky as to recommend a $300 Legos Death Star that her daughter received from a benevolent uncle, and quite frankly, she doesn’t love the basketball net enough to endorse it.
And to the person who left this comment:
“Why are there no books listed for teenage boys? Is it “sensible” for moms to want their boys to grow up to be uneducated and illiterate? According to this list, all mom’s should strive to have dumb jocks for sons.”
Erins’s sons are busy being Boy Scouts, achieving the honor of Eagle Scout, serving as legislative pages, putting on plays for elementary school kids, performing in band . . . and reading.
All of our kids have read books from this list. But calm down because these are not the only books they have read. By far.
4. This was not a gift guide for younger children, it was for teens. Much of the ranting was how wrong it is that toys for young kids are separated by gender. We agree. But please note, Ellen is still going to stand by her choice that, in general, the curling iron she recommended is going to please a teenage girl–who likes that sort of thing–more than a fifteen year old guy.
5. This was not a comprehensive gift guide for board games. Not all games owned and loved were represented. Board Game Geek flaming us for not including all the games on our general gift guides is like us criticizing a board game guide for not including Nike Elite Socks.
Which leads us to The Confessions:
1. When Ellen first saw the comments coming in, she thought, “Huh, well this is silly because we have an ENTIRE cabinet full of games. I’ll just post a couple more “serious” games that we all enjoy. Well, apparently those choices weren’t good enough either. There must be secret, extra-judgy criteria for having fun that we don’t know about. But as a side note, if you wanted to brandish pitchforks for Chutes and Ladders, future generations might thank you.
“Was there a change in the matrix? Because right now the list also includes clue and risk.”
“Apparently there was. Since those definitely weren’t there to begin with. Although I think they’ve just gone for a bit of a cop out from the feedback and threw two of the most obvious ones there with some filler text and called it a day. Doesn’t address the original premise of the questions raised here, but I guess it’s a start.”
And as far as “ethics in journalism” being violated, we are constantly updating the guides as new gifts and items come into our lives. And once again, they are only GIFT GUIDES, not Congressional transcripts. But it’s a great idea to let people know we are periodically updating them so that they can come back. Thanks!
2. Ellen doesn’t really like games that take over 20 minutes to play. Gasp! Her favorites that violate this time limit are Clue and Parcheesi, but NEVER ask her how she feels about Monopoly. Trust us. Her personal preferences may have influenced how many games she included on her list. (How dare she!)
3. Erin makes up for Ellen’s ambivalence with her complete and utter LOVE of games! When she has to shoe horn seven people into a van for a seven hour drive to a week long vacation in the Outer Banks, she enthusiastically dedicates precious packing real estate to ALL of these.
Ellen’s daughter, who is currently reading The Crucible, put all this in perspective: “At least you aren’t being falsely accused of and persecuted for witchcraft.” Good point. With a tip of our hats to a famously maligned magical ice queen, we were going to just “Let it go” . . . but it didn’t feel right. Ellen is a strong believer that if you accept praise, you also have to accept criticism. We just did not want to publish the comments under the gift guides because they seemed unbalanced–with a non sequitur vibe– from people who did not read the text of the posts.
But there was something that really struck the match to our Bunsen burner. THIS:
“Oh dear. No matter which gender you are there appears to be socks on the list. What teen wants socks?!? (Yes, I’m being a bit of an age-ist… but as a teen and as an adult I never have had a more disappointing gift than a pair of sock – even my mom’s usual gift of a sock filled with fruit and nuts was more appreciated and desired.)”
Them’s fightin’ words! Someone clearly doesn’t know any adolescents well. We have teens. Who have teenage friends. And teens love socks. THE. END.
Have you gotten to that point in the summer where, if your kids are anything like ours, you can actually see the knowledge oozing out of their ears like a Popsicle melting on a parking lot seven inches away from the concession stand?
Was this the summer you weren’t going to let that happen?
Did you have every intention of making multiplication flash cards, but haven’t mustered the enthusiasm to buy the index cards or to install the app or to use the calculator on your phone?
Did you purchase the ingredients for that Thunderstorm in a Cup experiment you saw on Pinterest, but they are still clanking around in your trunk with the jumper cables?
Did you check out the entire Charles Dickens collection with every intention of constructing a kicky homage diorama with your kids, but the books are way past due and the librarians are starting to don brass knuckles when you enter the building?
Yeah, summer enrichment seems like a great idea in April when the air is warming and life feels fresh and new. But then the End of School Year Gomorrah sucks the life out of you with the endless sports banquets AND field trips AND plays AND concerts AND awards assemblies so that even packing school lunches makes you want to strangle a bluebird.
Then summer hits with its breezy schedule and you think, “We all deserve a little break before buckling down,” and before you know it, the only exam your kids can pass is the swim test and you have the motivation of a sloth at a sleep convention to do anything about it.
But we have the solution! TAKE ‘EM TO THE CARNIVAL!
What? Don’t roll your eyes at us. Allow us to construct the excusejustification reasoning, so that by the end you’ll be calling your accountant to write off the whole adventure as an education expense.
Six Ways the Carnival is Just Like a Day at School
1. Health Class
Why just learn about how the colon works when you can see it in action? Experiment with how quickly a $3.00 chili dog with three pumps of pseudo-cheese and extra relish can initiate a colon cleanse in a 40 year old woman. Which leads us to . . .
2. Gym Class
The Race to the Porta Potty Dash where we ALL win if she makes it in time. Watch her hurdle small children and hold in sharts with absolutely no grace whatsoever.
3. History Class
It’s tons better than any textbook. It’s living history really. Where else can you hear a theatrical re-telling of “Tales of Severed Fingers and the Ferris Wheels That Caused Them” by a safety inspector who was alive during the Civil War?
4. Biology Class
Two words: Ball. Pit. So much surface area for so many germs. Each child can get a different disease: ebola, and chiggers, and warts, oh my! Experience is so much better than any book learnin’. Med school here we come!
5. Language Arts
There are OODLES of opportunities for grammar lessons . . . and that’s just in the line to get ride tickets. Explain how the eff bomb is a noun, verb, and an adjective. Oh, and the reading opportunities are so varied and fun! There are signs everywhere–goodies such as “No urinating on the electrical cords” and “May cause death or mutilation.”
That brings us to everyone’s favorite . . .
6. Math Class
Your child will be able to ace the SATs before they hit puberty with problems like these:
If an unlimited ride bracelet costs a bajillion dollars and 20 tickets costs a bajillion dollars divided by 2 (take into account every ride takes an odd number of tickets, but they are only sold in even sets), how big is the second mortgage you must take out on your home to prevent your child leaving the carnival in tears because they were denied one last chance to spew chunks of their neon blue snow cone on the Tilt-A-Whirl?
See? SEE!? You a believer now? You’re welcome. Now go call your accountant about that tax break and tell them the Sensible Moms sent you.
The good ol’ summertime is a fantastic time to slow it down and really smell the roses. So to speak.
Erin:It’s also a perfect time to have it smack you in the face just how fast your babies are growing up. We just had our LAST first lost tooth over here. I know. Sniff. Sniff.
Ellen: Wow. Try saying “last first lost tooth” three times fast. But even with five kids, you’ll eventually get to the end of firsts, it just takes longer. So get over yourself. My youngest is thirteen, so if your youngest is what, seven? That makes it about how many years ago since our last first lost tooth?
Erin:That would be six years ago. You’re doing some mighty powerful math over there. But really, you’re making my point. You forget things as the years go by. I feel like I should toss this golden nugget on top of the mound of memories I already have started but, truth be told, with five kids that mound’s starting to look more like a mountain of crap than a pile of precious memories.
Ellen: Here’s my dirty little secret. I have two kids and never filled a baby book past the second month. Stop judging because this was way before Instagram, Facebook, and, for my first child, digital cameras.
Erin:Gasp! Just kidding. The same is true for me.
Ellen: You should see our boxes of old photos, bins of artwork, and meaningful scraps of paper that look more like guinea pig litter than mementos.
I cannot bear to disassemble this corner. There is stuff dating back to second grade and my girls are going into 11th and 8th grades. I need help.
Erin: I have those bins too, except multiplied exponentially because, you know, I multiplied exponentially.
Then, of course, there are also the Facebook updates and blog posts that we have been using ever since surfing the net became a thing. That stuff all counts in recording the story of our families.
Ellen: We hope. If only the Internet had been around in the beginning or was designed for finding things in the future. How on earth are my kids ever gonna find all my witty status updates or see all the photos I uploaded to my profile in five years, let alone twenty?
Erin:But there’s hope and a way to sort through the multimedia mass. Those scraps of paper with those funny quotes can be liberated from the drawers. Those beautiful photos (even those hanging out on Instagram and Facebook) can be pulled out from the boxes under the bed. Even those handprints plastered on paper plates and all the other artwork can resurface and find a place in the light again.
Ellen: Stop locking their childhoods in a closet! Set them free! We have discovered an easy way to collect, preserve, organize, share, and print out those memories for all eternity or, at the very least, Grandma.
Blinkbuggy to the Rescue!
Blinkbuggy is a new online website dedicated to solving our memory mess and yours. Blinkbuggy offers simple yet powerful tools to tell your family’s story from first step to last first tooth to prom to graduation (It’s a’ comin, people! Insert another loud and snuffly sniff sniff here).
It’s just as important to get the funny shot as the money shot.
In addition, Blinkbuggy’s easy-to understand controls for privacy and sharing offer assurances that Aunt Tillie and Grandma have plenty of access to “The Story of You All” but college recruiters will not.
Furthermore, it’s so easy that these self-proclaimed Lazy Girls can get on board. With a Blinkbuggy app for iPhone already available and an Android app available by year’s end, it couldn’t be easier to get the funny quote or picture right where it belongs right away. We love that there’s room for funny quotes and sweet notes to nestle beside our ubiquitous but wonderful pictures.
We wouldn’t want to forget the ten year old’s obsession with big band music that made us wake up every morning ready to ration sugar and donate our hose to the war effort.
Blinkbuggy’s memory pages are easy on the eyes too. They mimic the look and feel of an Instagram feed and offer multiple ways to view the memories you have stored.
They really put our old boxes and bins to shame. We like all the viewing options really, but they are still, you know, on the computer. While this has solved our big issue of gathering all the scraps and bits together into one nice neat little story, that story’s only as good as our internet connection. Sometimes you just want to hand your old roommate or your grandfather a lovely book to look through and Blinkbuggy has some great options there too.
Partnering with MILK books, Blinkbuggy offers three options for printing from your memory feed: an archive-ready album, individual framed prints, and cards. We are of course excited about these pretty things, because we love all things graphic and creative. However, the real reason you should hustle over and start your own memory feed today is that finally all the pictures you take, your kids take, and heck, your husband takes can all be collected in one place. This is truly a feat because sometimes you find gems like this one on your husband’s phone.
The Mom Stays in the Picture . . . For Once
But what we love even more is the way Blinkbuggy works for our families now. We are so beyond anything baby that we can barely even stand the word “potty-training”, but we are still sentimental and sweet on our kids.
We are also real. With five teens between us, we have a healthy relationship with technology. Everybody has Instagram accounts and most of them have Facebook accounts as well. They all take their own photos on their phones and iPods.
What Blinkbuggy makes so easy with their upload from Instagram and Facebook feature is that our kids and their photos can become part of our story-telling as well. These photos are the adolescent equivalent of all those macaroni necklaces and construction paper projects we have stuffed in the drawers.
We will look back someday and be grateful for these literal snapshots of their lives. For now, we’ll just be grateful that Blinkbuggy is proving that nobody is really beyond a baby book. Because as we all know, they’ll always be our babies.
This is a sponsored post but we are true believers in this product or we wouldn’t tell you about it.
In a little over a month, my fourth kiddo will cross over to the dark place known as Tweendom. This means for those of you keeping score at home that I will soon have a house bursting at the seams with teens and tweens. Please send reinforcements in the form of Diet Coke and chocolate.
I jest, but there’s truth here too. These years leading up to and including the teens can be challenging for you, your kids, your sanity, and your bottom line. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a guidebook or ten to help you navigate these unfamiliar and sometimes hostile waters?
Well, here they are! We are not promising that these books will solve all your problems but they are the perfect parenting books to help you through the tween and teen years.
This is not a parenting book, but a book about the act of modern parenting itself. We’ve come a long way, baby, in terms of how we view and tackle this very fundamental task and Senior’s take is just fascinating.
Chock full of impressive research and held together by anecdotal stories of families, this is quite frankly my “Get a Hold of Yourself, Woman” book. Surprisingly easy to read and so so smart, this book reminds me that yes, parenting is hard, but it’s the thing I’ve chosen as my most important work.
I find myself revisiting this book time and again not only to remind myself that “mothering isn’t just something I do, it’s who I am” and to find solace in the fact that I am so very not alone on this road.
This IS a parenting book and frankly anyone who spends any time around any boys age 11 through 18 needs to read it. With over 200 interviews with boys and strong research guiding her conclusions, Wiseman draws the adolescent boy in sharp relief and gives us not only a true picture of the more complex lives of boys, but some ways we can help them through the next few years.
My favorite insight is that we do boys a disservice by dismissing their emotional lives as simple when they most assuredly are not. There is even a free e-book for boys themselves to read about what to do in difficult situations.
I know what you’re thinking: Wiseman is kind of a superhero. Or a superstar. In any case, she has written a book that can save you and any special boys in your life.
And Wiseman works a similar magic for girls. I read this book when I first started teaching middle school and it fundamentally changed the way I looked at girls, their friendships, and their struggles with each other and themselves.
Wiseman offers sage, sound advice for how to guide girls towards treating themselves with dignity and grace and treating each other fairly, but there is so much more than that in this book. Understanding girl power plays, how boys fit into the big picture of girl relationships, and the different roles girls play really helps anyone who knows or loves an adolescent girl guide her to her best, most authentic self. Thanks again to the wonderful and very wise Wiseman.
I often scribble pearls of wisdom from what I’ve been reading on whatever scrap I have available. This quote from this book has become my talisman over the past few years:
“As our lives speed up more and more, so do our children’s. We forget and thus they forget that there is nothing more important than the present moment. We forget and thus they forget to relax, to find spiritual solitude, to let go of the past, to quiet ambition, to fully enjoy the eating of a strawberry, the scent of a rose, the touch of a hand on a cheek…”
― Michael Gurian, The Wonder of Boys
Michael Gurian shares his larger vision of how culturally we are failing boys by not acknowledging and thus not meeting their biological and spiritual needs. Ellen and I both love books with a strong scientific bent that are also easy to read. This book meets those criteria and yet exceeds expectations too. It will be a beloved helpmate on the hormone highway you are now traveling.
This is a riveting read. Honestly. Bursting with excellent, updated scientific research about how girls develop, how their brains work, and how this all affects how girls relate to themselves and each other, this is as unputdownable as nonfiction gets. Ditto everything I said about The Wonder of Boys but yet uniquely wonderful in its own way. Magic.
Anyone who has been anywhere near a middle school lunchroom knows that The Drama Years is the perfect title for a book about girls navigating the difficult tween years. This book is one of the best I’ve read for helping you and your daughter through it.
Haley Kilpatrick is the founder of GirlTalk and she is on a mission to end the drama and change the outcome for our nation’s young women. Sharing her own personal anecdotes from middle school and drawing on conversations with middle school and high school girls about what actually happens and what helps, Haley Kilpatrick has created a book with real insights and a clear path for helping. You will love the real, honest talk and the great, usable advice.
This is the newest book on my bedside table, but I have already recommended it so many times that I’m out of digits to tell you all the reasons I love it. But here are five.
First, Michelle Icard establishes herself from the very first page as a woman you can trust and want to share this journey with you. Warm and empathetic, Icard is also funny and real. You’ll wish you could invite her over for tea or, in my case, Diet Coke.
Second, as the creator of Athena’s Path and Hero’s Pursuit, social skills camps for middle school boy and girls, Icard has tons of real, practical solutions to share for lots of common middle school issues.
Third, I love this book’s central theme of shifting your parenting to the role of assistant manager. It’s such a recognizable, perfect metaphor for how your role needs to change during these years and she explains just how to do this perfectly.
Fourth, one of the best pieces of advice I ever received about parenting this age was to remain neutral when receiving information. Icard has given a great name to this strategy, “Botox Brow”, and she weaves in stories, examples, and advice for how to pull off this essential coping skill.
Fifth, Icard likes kids, even middle schoolers. We have that in common. She shifts the paradigm and the assumption that there is something wrong with kids at this age. Kids are just fine, but the way we have been dealing with them at this age has to change. She then goes on to give a ridiculous amount of ways to do help do this.
Honestly, I could go on, but you should just fire up the old credit card and order this one for yourself now.
So there you go: a collection of parenting books to keep you company through the next few years. Short of an endless supply of calorie-free chocolate, it’s the best option.
My family loves Disney World. When we go, it’s the Park Hopper ticket all the way because we have our favorites at each and every park. At Disney’s Animal Kingdom, it’s Expedition Everest. I mean c’mon, it’s a story, it’s a show, it’s an awesome roller coaster that reverses its direction and sends you spiraling backwards through the dark.
We also love Dinosaur, or at least my husband and I do. Our girls, even though they’re in their teens, still claim we scarred them for life by taking them on it when they were little tykes after my husband convinced them it was just like the Finding Nemo ride. So what if it’s entirely in the dark, you’re threatened by meteoric destruction, and a T-Rex steams you with his breath? Save your money on therapists, Girls, if this is your biggest complaint.
This text actually happened. I already knew she was scarred for life, I just couldn’t remember the name of the ride.
Then there is the Kilimanjaro Safari. Not only does it always have animals you can see, it has a pretty intense story line about poachers, too. Any zoo can give you animals, but Disney gives you your hippos with a side of drama.
And then . . . we need a break since we have now trekked to all the far reaches of the park. And we found that break two trips ago at Rafiki’s Planet Watch, located in Asia near the Safari exit.
It’s the negatives that make Rafiki’s Planet Watch special. Really.
No crowds.
No lines.
No over-stimulation.
In a way, I hate to even tell you about because it is such a welcomed, peaceful respite mainly because it is so overlooked. Heck, we passed it over our first two trips when our kids were the smallest and we needed it the most. But apparently what I call peaceful, other people call boring. Puh-tay-toe, puh-tah-toe? Um, no. Those people’s brains have been melted by their smartphones. Don’t be those people.
Basically, you are devoting forty-five minutes to an hour to slowing down the pace and never having to say “C’mon, let’s go,” but still getting a fair dose of Disney magic. One thing though, if you’re hungry, grab something before you start. While there is a gift shop (of course), there aren’t many food choices beyond very light snacks.
It’s a lovely, short walk past lush vegetation to the very cool Harambe Train Station.
Ahhhhhh. Shade.
Of course the station and train are cool. It’s Disney World.
It’s about a five minute ride to Conservation Station. Along the way, the conductor points out some of the sights. You actually see behind the scenes for the Safari where the animals are brought to rest. We have always been able to see animals, but pay attention now because you take a different route back.
Once you pull into the station, there is another lovely, yet slightly longer walk to get to the actual Conservation Station. But it doesn’t matter because it has all kinds of fun things along the way, including a Rafiki photo op.
He’s all mine.
There are usually Cotton Top Tamarin monkeys too, but their exhibit was being refurbished during our last visit.
It’s a discovery trail. Now is the time to meander and relax. Let the kids look at the displays and the backyard habitats. They can pick up a leaf without getting trampled. You’ll get to Conservation Station soon enough. Remember, you committed to slowing down for an hour. The hustle and bustle of Animal Kingdom will still be there when you get back. Promise.
There is a cool mosaic on the ground, but you’ll just have to visit to get a better look at it.
Once you enter, the murals are hugely fantastic and they provide a little sumthin’, sumthin’ for the Type A personalities in your group who NEED activities with goals. The artwork is positively dripping with Hidden Mickeys. I, for one, like to find them on my own. Maps are for cheaters, unless your thing is using the Hidden Mickey maps, then it’s totally cool. I am into clues though, so I’ll leave you with this, look in the eyeballs.
The murals start from the entrance and wrap all around.
But the best part? AIR CONDITIONING! Sweet, blessed cool air. In a wide open space no less, with nary a thing to purchase in sight. You can set the little ones free from the strollers and let them stretch their legs.
Yeah, I just realized the irony of highlighting air conditioning in a conservation station, but it is Florida.
Inside there are sound booths, short nature films, and large animal cutouts. Live-feed video monitors that you can control let you observe animals in their enclosures. There is also a great reflecting pool where a preschooler (or a teen) can be occupied with a stack of pennies trying to float the coins into the animals eyes.
Bring those pennies. The money gets donated to Disney’s Conservation Fund.
Another unique feature is the research and care facilities located along the back wall. You can see vets and researchers actually working. One highlight is the veterinary treatment room. Animals are often given their yearly check-ups in the morning and you can watch it happen.
What a fun place to work.
Hourly, there are cast members with live animal presentations. You can easily interact and get your questions answered.
One of my favorites from 2010. But that darn hawk would not look at the camera.
But besides real animals, there are Disney characters too! Rafiki is usually there and often times, so is Jiminy Cricket and Pocahontas. They are character experiences almost like the olden days when you could just walk up without the long queues and fuss.
My kids were like, “We can just walk up to them?” Even if your kids are shy with the characters, there are always the cut-outs.
So, we’ve covered Hidden Mickeys, science, learning, characters, and air conditioning, but there is still more! The Affection Station is the most adorable petting zoo with the best washing up station ever. Kids can pick up brushes to groom the goats and pigs. There is a little stage nearby where 30 minute shows are given several times a day with animals not usually seen in other parts of Animal Kingdom.
Just a girl grooming a goat.
That about covers it. Conservation Station is a great place to meander, recharge, and have a lower key Disney experience. It’s just a short train ride back to the hub bub.
Ellen: There are talks with your kids like “You really need to eat your vegetables.”
Erin:And then there are TALKS which cover weightier issues like alcohol.
Ellen: Planning a TALK with your kids can be daunting, so seizing the moment to have TALKS should become a habit.
Erin:I have five kids. If I scheduled out big TALKS with each individual child on every important subject, I would be rocking in the corner from the stress overload of it all and my kids would be ducking for cover to avoid the awkward.
Ellen: But there are plenty of everyday opportunities where you can share a quick morsel of knowledge, ask your child’s opinion . . .
Erin:Really actively listen to their thoughts . . .
Ellen: And have a discussion that doesn’t leave anyone cringing from the embarrassment of a staged lecture.
Erin:One of our go-to conversation starters is pop culture. If you are primed and in the mind frame to capitalize on TALK opportunities when they present themselves, then TV, movies, books, and music are your kindling.
Ellen: Just the other day the Ke$ha song, Tick Tock, came on the car radio, and my daughter remarked, “Man, this song is old.” I just continued the flow and said, “This song has always seemed like a cry for help to me. I mean, c’mon, she’s singing about brushing her teeth with alcohol.”
Erin:Or she needs to put toothpaste on her shopping list.
Ellen: That’s what my daughter said! But with that humor and Ke$ha pulsing in the background, we talked about the C.A.G.E screening questions for alcohol use:
Have you ever felt like you should Cut down on your drinking?
Have you ever felt Annoyed that people questioned your drinking?
Have you ever felt bad or Guilty about your drinking?
Have you ever needed an Eye opener drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?
Erin:Brushing your teeth with alcohol qualifies as an eye opener, for sure, and I’m going to go out on a limb to say that Ke$ha would probably be annoyed you were using her song like an Afternoon School Special.
Ellen: But you know who wasn’t annoyed? My daughter. We had a relaxed, natural conversation about what responsible alcohol use looks like without any lecturing involved.
Erin:I’ve had similar luck piggybacking off an episode of a favorite show or watching a movie together. Thank you, ABC Family, for being the springboard for many a convenient conversation. Bottom line: be open to the moments when they present themselves, even and especially after cringe-worthy episodes of Must-See-TV.
Another way to get the conversation rolling is to follow our latest #TalkEarly initiative. April is Alcohol Awareness Month. The Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility (now FAAR, formerly known as The Century Council) has set a goal of sparking two million conversations this month about alcohol responsibility and we want you to join the discussion with us.
Luckily, we’ve taken a great first step for you. With FAAR, Scholastic Parent and Child, and Dr. Michele Borba, Today Show regular and author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries and our other #TalkEarly ambassadors, we started talking on social media about some of the issues facing parents and kids and alcohol responsibility today. In addition to the wonderful support and honesty shared, three powerful and important messages emerged.
The first thing to remember is that these talks don’t require much ACTUAL talking on your part. Can we all just breathe a big sigh of relief right now? While there is nothing wrong with being prepared and there are some great resources here, googling “scripts for alcohol conversations with my kids” isn’t really necessary either. The reassuring truth is that kids want parents to listen twice as much as they talk. You don’t need all the answers so much as the desire to be present and available. We can all put a check in that box.
The second thing to file away and rub like a lucky talisman is that your child WANTS to hear what you have to say. You are now and will always be a hugely powerful orb in your family’s little solar system. You matter. You make a difference. Oh, and you can do this. We all can.
The third thing is the thing we said before: just talk about stuff. Any of it. The music, the movies, and the TV shows will get the talk flowing for sure, but really anything will do. It’s easiest to just talk early, talk often, and keep the conversation going. It’s a heck of a lot easier to start having conversations when your child is eager for time with you and wants to talk about his latest obsession with LEGO or her favorite character from “Frozen” than when you have to talk about the arrangements for prom night. Start the conversation before you need to have a confrontation. Your kids may not make it easier to talk when they cross over into teendom but if it’s what you have always done, you can rely on that shared history to bridge the generational gaps and hormonal humps.
Listen, we know you are already busy and finding time for big talks rate somewhere between never and not-gonna-happen. But remember what we said before: it doesn’t have to be hard or big or even something that you need to schedule on your calendar. Simply opening your eyes to opportunities to get a conversation going is an important step, maybe the most important one. Look for the kindling in your every day life with your child. Let the ordinary ignite your discussion.
So now we are going to leave you with one important thought and a question: What conversation will this spark for you?
Don’t take a “not my kid” attitude. Keep your eyes open and your relationship strong. Don’t ignore underage drinking issues.
-Dr. Michele Borba
Be 1 in 2 million this month!
Join the conversation and #TalkEarly with your kids today!
-Erin and Ellen
This post was sponsored by The Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility, but all of our opinions are our own.
You can follow The Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility on Twitter, Facebook, and check out their great resources on their website.
by Jennifer Senior
by Rosalind Wiseman
by Rosalind Wiseman
by Michael Gurian
by Michael Gurian
by Haley Kilpatrick
by Michelle Icard
and our other #TalkEarly ambassadors, we started talking on social media about some of the issues facing parents and kids and alcohol responsibility today. In addition to the wonderful support and honesty shared, three powerful and important messages emerged.