Snowflakes: An Easy Decoration to Cut Out With Scissors. Flakes: You’re Lucky We Don’t Jab You With Scissors.
Erin: Nothing says holiday like the full frontal assault of requests for volunteers. From the Christmas parties to the Breakfasts with Santa to the Bazaars and Pageants, every school, church, and youth group is begging for your free time. Gear up, girls, this is our moment to shine.
Ellen: Ah, sweet volunteering. Nothing can get more done or strip more nerves than a room full of women. It is only December, and I could kill someone.
Erin: Don’t get me wrong. I choose to volunteer. A lot. So does Ellen.This is how we “pay it forward”, and all I can say is that you want us on that wall. Heck, you need us on that wall. We show up on time, do what we say we are going to do, play nicely with others, and clean up after ourselves. The Sisterhood Secret when it comes to Volunteering? Hook a sister up—fakes, flakes, and troublemakers not welcome.
Yeah, I’m crafty and I like to party.
Ellen: To demonstrate proper volunteer etiquette, we have created this entirely FICTIONAL event so that no one thinks we are talking about her. But if something strikes a chord, perhaps it is time for a little reflection. It is NOT time to permanently claim your title as a “Pain in the Rump” by emailing us to complain.
Erin: So without further ado- Welcome to our Annual Penguin Craft Party! We wanted to subtitle it: “You might be a pain in the rump volunteer if…” On further reflection, we decided to give this a more positive spin. Just know that if you violate these simple rules, we will dub you Queen of the PITAs (figure it out).
1.Respect the planning period! If while setting up for an event that has been planned for months, you try to highjack it with the idea that just popped into your head, refrain. Take a deep breath. Count to ten. Think of that great trip you will be taking with your husband without the kids. DO NOT utter your brilliant thought NOW or EVER. That ship has sailed. Here is a little example to illustrate our point. Say, you are in the gym setting up for the Annual Penguin Craft Party. Now is not the time to rally support for the idea that this party could be so much MORE if it had an Inuit theme and the kids worked together to make a true-to-size igloo.
Learning to Build An Igloo is Fun and Educational! Hooray!
2. But don’t be an idea killer! Nothing breaks hearts and quashes spirits more than the simple phrase: “But we’ve always done it this way.” DO NOT let these words leave your lips during a PLANNING meeting. This is the time to let the creative juices fly! It might be fun for the kids to toss live mackerel into the penguin’s mouth! Builds hand-eye coordination and deadens olfactory sensitivity! Give every Sister her moment. Every golden idea was a dusty little nugget at some point.
3. Execute your own ideas! If you throw an idea out there, be ready to catch it, and run with that ball. DO NOT expect your vision to magically happen. If your brilliant idea is going to take 50 million woman hours to pull off, you should think about putting in a lot of those hours yourself, not just patting yourself on the back for how creative you are. Start Googling how to make that igloo! Look up dry ice dealers! Be ready to drag that dogsled yourself.
You might want to look up fish wholesalers, too, while you’re at it. Remember the mackerel toss?
4. Just worry about yourself! Everybody is a volunteer. Nobody is getting paid, and everyone has someplace else to be. You are hanging with the heroes. If you spend more time complaining about all the people that never volunteer than you do making those papier mache penguins, you are bringing the Sisters down, and making the situation negative and unpleasant. Stop griping! Get pasting!
5. Follow the 10 second rule! If you have called your event chair four times in the past day, take a deep breath and put your cellphone down. You can solve this problem yourself! Think for 10 seconds! Remember that you are a competent, worthy volunteer. Remember that your chairperson, though she may be clocking a few more hours on the project than you, is still just a volunteer. Remember your sweet little cherub’s face and why you are volunteering in the first place. Use the time you just saved to cut out some more penguin bills.
Sheila is just slapping posters on the wall with the tape showing. Showing I say! I think we should make those neat little tape loops so the adhesion to the wall seems like magic. What do you think?
6. Keep your cat fights to yourself! If you start a spat worthy of a middle school cafeteria (even if you ARE standing in a middle school cafeteria) in the midst of the Snow Cone Booth, you are a bad Sister. Period. It is NOT proper etiquette to squirt blueberry syrup down your Sister’s shirt no matter how satisfying it may feel.
We Have ALWAYS Run the Snow Cone Booth This Way! And Your Shoes Are Hideous!
7. Do what you say you are going to do! There is no credit for great intentions. The only thing that matters is results. Nobody cares if your uncle is the Chief Penguin Wrangler at the local zoo unless you get him there. If you volunteer for him to show up and talk to the kids, he better be there with some of his feathered friends even if you have to drive him to the event yourself. It’s all about “follow through”, Sisters!
8. Bring a great attitude. If it applies to kids, it applies to adults. You don’t have to whistle while you work, but don’t swear, moan, or gossip. The penguins don’t like that. Makes ‘em cranky.
9. Clean up after yourself. We all have kids. That’s what got us into this mess. When our kids leave a path of destruction in their wake, we feel like killing them. When you do it, we just feel like killing you. You’re not royalty. Don’t act like it.
Surely, if I can sweep up while wearing heels, you could handle cleaning up your space? You are the one who decided it would be a silly idea to hole-punch the 400 name tags over the TRASHCAN, choosing to do it over the CUPCAKES instead.
10. Keep it up. Don’t be a One Note Nelly. Consider doing a little something to make EVERY event a success. Every time you put down that glue gun, another Sister has to pick it up.
Erin: But, seriously, thank you. Everything you do makes our kids’ school, church, youth group, and team better, and good Sisters always acknowledge a job well done.
Ellen: Yes, thank you, and remember the list, because Ho-Ho-Ho, it’s off to work we go. Bring it, December!!
You both rock. This one really hit home. I really stepped in to “paying it forward” this school year by volunteering to co-chair the fundraising for our school campaign. I did it because I wanted to help and knew I could “undust” my former skills I used to get paid for (and well) to help my sons school. Let me say, I love his school and the faculty. That said, there were times, with certain volunteers, in which I truly thought I was back in middle school. (I didn’t mind reminiscing about my pink izod and whale belt, but the antics of the person stuck in sixth grade was one I could most certainly do without) So, #6 really was a great point you both made. I constantly had to remind myself during the process to move forward and “not participate” in the games of the stuck-in-the-sixth-grade-volunteer who struggled with control issues. Whew! A dear friend said so simply and eloquently, “Continue to do it with a pure heart.” I loved that and it is this which carried me forward.
Keep up the great work!
Thank you! “Continue to do it with a pure heart” is great advice. Pair that with “not taking the bait” and some laughter and hopefully you can make it to the end of the year. Your son’s school is lucky to have you.
I volunteer only where competent. Because seriously? I was bad at childhood when I did it. Parenthood isn’t an excuse for me to relive it. You need a book sale volunteer who can run a cash register and laugh merrily at a room full of screaming cretins? I’m your goto woman (as long as we can agree in advance that no matter how cute they are in other circumstances, the minute they hit the sale entrance, their inner demons will erupt). Want me to buy something to support? No problem. But please dear GOD don’t make me actually sell to others. Don’t turn me into a fundraiser. Don’t hand me the craft table. Seriously? You want the penguins beaks on their butts? And on please don’t put me in charge. I have to do that at home, thank you. I like being a worker bee at these events, have found that my daughter’s school is SO much fun, and can’t wait for the next event. But I know my limits pretty well, too.
You sound like our kind of volunteer: self aware and enthusiastic! You can run our cash register any time. Worker bees are the heart and soul of an endeavor. Things start to nose-dive when there are “too many chiefs.” Can I get a “You know it, Sister!”
Snorted a little at the beaks on the penguin butts.
I think you should print this out and put it up as a public service announcement for all volunteers.
Great post, great advice, and funny too! You’re my kind of Sisters 🙂
Runnermom-jen recently posted..If I Die Young…
Thanks! Yeah, we didn’t have to think too hard to come up with this list. We’re spreading the word, one blog at a time. Thanks for stopping by!
So many of these tenets should apply to daily general life as well.
That said, I help manage a great group of volunteers and I’m going to forward this to them with a big fat thank you.
Wait. You make people do math to comment?
How cool is that?!
Thanks! It is a funny piece for the people who volunteer CORRECTLY! If you’re not laughing…well. Awkward.
And I’m going to forward your comment to our friend, Mary, who complains every time she comments because she says she forgets to do the math problem. We were getting bot spammed and I HATE copying that squiggly word. So math problem it was. Yeah, we’re cool on so many levels. 🙂
Hey – I’m not complaining about the math problem – I homeschool – we love math in this household! I just think it should be above the comment mark so I won’t miss it and have to rewrite my response. But I have shared my suggestion and I will be a good penguin and never mention it again. And I have even trained my busy brain to scroll past the comment button to the problem. Your blog educates and trains – how cool is that!!
And thanks for a great blog!!
Love these tips – especially the 10 second rule; I need to apply this more often, certainly! BTW….I got the first security question required to comment wrong…5 + ? = 14….I said 8…..time for this Mommy to go back to 1st grade, lol1
Meg O’Keefe recently posted..Reason to Celebrate
You know, we just wrote another post about pausing before reacting. Perhaps this is the “secret” to parenting. Shoot, I just gave it away. Now what will we write our book about? 🙂
And where else can you get a little mental mathematical exercise, too? Thanks for stopping by. Our first grade math lesson is always available.
Great post! I know so many frequently volunteering moms who would appreciate your ideas. I like Bring A Great Attitude (and add: be friendly to other parents!)
Jennifer recently posted..Falling Out Of The Family Bed
Isn’t everything about attitude in the end? Thanks!
Oh, crap. I knew I was a sucky mom, but now a sucky volunteer? I dont’ think I can handle all this suckiness I’ve got going on. 😉
Laura@Catharsis recently posted..My God Doesn’t Hate
OK, if I hadn’t already read your piece, I might believe you, even in jest. Silly rabbit, you too are the voice of reason and moderation. Thanks! –Erin
Much of this applies to a lot more than volunteering (as in, Do what you say you’re going to do!!!) 😉 GREAT post.
jenn @ so this is love recently posted..a pocketful of sunshine
You might be right, but Ellen is putting together her school’s yearbook and I am running a huge fundraiser on Friday where we literally make 7000 cream puffs. It’s hard to see the forest for the trees. Volunteerland is where we are living right now. Thank you for reminding us to look up.–Erin
I’m so feeling rule 2. Even at work, rule 2 gets me down sometimes. Idea squashers are the worst 🙁
Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy recently posted..Crazy as a Betsy Bug
Every girl deserves to have her voice heard. Thanks!
Yikes. I’m the chairperson for the Spring Festival coming soon. I’m ill-prepared and completely scared.
Lenore Diane recently posted..Project 366: Day 39
We wish you luck, Sister. You are one of the good ones for volunteering in that capacity.
Maybe, print this blog out and pass it around. Kinda like, “HA, HA, HA, but seriously, follow this.” 😉 -Ellen
I used to volunteer All. The. Time. I am burnt out. And sadly, I have signed up, but not shown up this year. These tips can help and certainly prevent burn-out. One thing that drove me absolutely nuts was multiple emails regarding sign-ups. With tools such as Google Docs and Volunteer Spot, there is just no need for it.
As always, great post with relevant and insightful info.
Kimberly S. recently posted..Wednesday’s Woman: Astronaut, Innovator, Educator
Consider yourself confessed and absolved. I completely understand the burn out. My youngest is in her last year of elementary school and I’m looking forward to the release after being there for 9 years. In my school system the volunteering is definitely more intense in the elementary school than in middle school.
I must confess I have not signed up for anything new. I have just stuck with the projects that I have always done. -Ellen
I have yet to enter the realm of volunteering yet. My daughter is in kindergarten and I know my time to volunteer has arrived. Between working full time and all the other stuff us moms have to do I am still figuring out how to balance it all before biting of more then I can chew ( I’m an expert at that). You know that 5lb sack yeah I often try to stuff 10lbs in it. Boy am I rambling. Needless to say the rules rock. I have cliff notes now and a cheat sheet !! Loved them! -LV
Thanks!! Love the 5lb sack with 10 lbs in it!! I soooo feel that analogy. Probably should have added one more rule for newbies: Dip thy toe into the waters of volunteering before diving in. Seeing as how your daughter is only in kindergarten, you have plenty of time to get a feel for where you are most comfortable.-Erin
This was so funny and true! I love your examples. This one is definitely worth sharing. Thanks for linking up with us at #findingthefunny!
Kelley recently posted..Finding The Funny: Pictures & Stories That Will Make You Laugh or Your Money Back!
So glad you liked it. We live it, so it’s hard to tell sometimes. We love #findingthefunny!
Holy funny. I just sent this to all of my volunteer sisters…now, to lay bets on which sister gets offended!
Popping over from Finding The Funny!
Kerry at HouseTalkN
It is a litmus test! Thanks for popping by our Penguin Party. (I’m a little bit of an alliteration dweeb.) -Ellen
My worst volunteer moment was in the costume shop at the high school theater. They had a paid costume designer and hordes of moms working on costumes. I spent two days there, and the costume designer was completely bossy and tyrannical. I decided no more! So simple: do not abuse your volunteers! Volunteering should not be excruciating and miserable.
Marie recently posted..What I read in December (2012)
Pingback: The Best of 2013 Link-Up Par-Tay | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
Ah, the wonderful PTA!!! Never went more than 12 feet near that group!!
Roshni recently posted..Short and tweet #1
They are not all bad, but you have to watch your step and your back. ; ) Erin