Tag Archives: Halloween

Halloween Monster Donuts DIY

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This amazingly adorable Halloween treat is incredibly easy if, IF, you heed one crucial step. Follow along and you’ll be well on your way to delighting children of all ages. Seriously, being the “best mother ever,” (that was a direct quote) is just a trip to the donut shop away.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

So I can hear what you’re thinking: “What directions could there possible be to follow? Get some donuts, candy eyes, icing, and vampire teeth and throw them all together.” Oh, simple one, I thought the same things, too. I saw the pictures floating around the internet and thought “I can do that.”

So I hit the shops to gather my ingredients, only when I got to Dunkin’ Donuts, they were a little low on donuts. Probably because it was 2:00 PM, but whatever. I had planned on getting three dozen chocolate glazed cake donuts because that was what my daughter requested, but alas, I had to make do with what the breakfast crowd left behind. I ended up with a dozen glazed and two other dozen cobbled together with chocolate glazed, pumpkin, and chocolate iced. I’ve learned as a mother to go with the flow because sometimes it’s the flow that keeps you afloat. You’ll see what I mean in a minute.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

I had a speedier time in Michaels Craft Store. It being the first day of fall and all, the slime green icing, candy eyes, and vampire fangs were right up front. Yeah, nevermind they had been up front since August. I guess I should be glad they weren’t sold out.

In no time I was home and on my way to creating my cyclops monsters . The first box of donuts I opened happened to be the complete dozen of glazed.

I soon figured out it was helpful to pinch the fangs like so to insert them into the center.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

For attaching the eye, I put a big glob of icing on the back because I wanted it to ooze out the sides.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Voilà!

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

So onto the next dozen! I went through the same procedure, except I stopped halfway through the box because I needed to switch the laundry over. Couldn’t just be making treats for the field hockey team, I needed to wash my girl’s uniform, too. Minutes later, I came back to a horror show! The fangs had sprung open to break the donuts.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Are you kidding me? I “glued” the donuts back together with some slime icing and ended up just laying the fangs on top of the other ones. Not quite as cute, but not bad either.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

KEY TO SUCCESS: The type of donut matters! Use classic glazed donuts because they have enough spring and give to hold the teeth. Cake-like donuts crack and break apart!

I am so glad I was forced to buy so many glazed ones because they turned out the best. At least I had a bunch of those!

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

May your treats not play any tricks on you!

-Ellen 

Apparently, we are all about the donuts here. Check out these posts, too.

Doughnut New Years Eve Tradition

Make a Donut Bouquet

 

Hey! Want to buy our new book? I Just Want to Be Perfect brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.

I Just Want to Be Perfect

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Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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The Holidays are Coming! (And We’re Freaking Out!)

The holidays are coming and while we love them, they come with a fair amount of stress. If you need your holiday sweetness tempered with reality, peppered with cleverness, and wrapped up in a burrito of hilarity, this post is your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Do you feel like the holidays are one raging whitewater current sweeping you up in October and dumping you onto the barren shore just south of New Year’s Eve? Or is it north of? Either way . . .

US TOO!

Picture us yelling that at you with a Charlie Brown style force sufficient to send you somersaulting backwards. Which reminds us, we need to dig out our copies of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Pronto. Oh wait, that’s what Netflix is for. Look at us, we just wiped one thing off of our to-do lists.

Anyway, what we really want to convey is that while we loooooovvve the holidays, they can be a bit overwhelming. And we’re thinking we aren’t alone. Doesn’t everyone’s festivities land somewhere between any Hallmark movie ever and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?

So we’re here to commiserate with you and cheer you on. And (don’t kill us) add one more thing to your to-do list: Read Jen Mann’s witty book “Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Yuletide Yahoos, Ho-Ho-Humblebraggers, and Other Seasonal Scourges.” If you need your holiday sweetness tempered with reality, peppered with cleverness, and wrapped up in a burrito of hilarity, this book is your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The holidays are coming and while we love them, they come with a fair amount of stress. If you need your holiday sweetness tempered with reality, peppered with cleverness, and wrapped up in a burrito of hilarity, this post is your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We tell you all about it in this podcast (player is at the bottom of the post). In fact this book served as a launching pad for recounting our own holiday stories of hijinx.

We’ll tell you about

  • The year Thanksgiving dinner came out of a blender.
  • Why “BOOM GOES THE TURKEY LEG” is Erin’s personal battle cry.
  • The Pilgrimages to Poland for mechanical Santas. (You can SEE what we are talking about here.)
  • The year Ellen buzzed through Christmas on her Jazzy.
  • And finally, the miracle that will whittle down your outside decorating efforts to locating one extension cord: Star Shower Laser Lights. Ellen gives you the highlights in the podcast, but since we know you will want one, you can get your own here on Amazon. See how it shows up even on Ellen’s brick house? Amazing. You can use the green setting during Halloween and the red and green setting for Christmas.

Need to simplify your holiday decorations? Star Shower is the answer for Halloween through Christmas. - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

If you have a hankering for our full buffet of holiday fare, behold.

Halloween

The holidays are coming and while we love them, they come with a fair amount of stress. If you need your holiday sweetness tempered with reality, peppered with cleverness, and wrapped up in a burrito of hilarity, this post is your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Crazy Milkmaid

Thanksgiving

The holidays are coming and while we love them, they come with a fair amount of stress. If you need your holiday sweetness tempered with reality, peppered with cleverness, and wrapped up in a burrito of hilarity, this post is your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Christmas

The holidays are coming and while we love them, they come with a fair amount of stress. If you need your holiday sweetness tempered with reality, peppered with cleverness, and wrapped up in a burrito of hilarity, this post is your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

So Proud

And finally we bid you happy listening with this final bit of holiday advice:

Just try not to wig out on your family.

-Ellen and Erin

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Awkward Halloween Costume Pintershizz

‘Twas the night before Halloween,

And all through Ellen’s house,

Not a costume was decided on,

And folks were starting to grouse.

On Ninja Turtles, on Minions, on Wonder Woman too.

All of these were rejected, even ghosts that go “Boo!”

So with nary a slim second to shave,

That red and white wonder,

Pinterest, was consulted for the save.

Erin: Wow. You know you could cut the angst if you all just wore the same costumes every year. Like me.

Crazy Milkmaid

Why would you mess with this crazy milkmaid success?

Ellen: Yeah. That is going to be a negatory for me. But, I have to admit Pinterest has not been my savior either. I’ve gotten sucked down the rabbit hole of weird Pintershizz–even weirder than your milkmaid. So while I’m no closer to being costumed, I AM very entertained.

Erin: Let’s share and entertain everyone. It is what we do after all.

Ten Tremendously Awkward Halloween Costumes

Awkward Halloween CostumePintershizz Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We original thought we’d list these from least awkward to most, but dang, they’re all just so awful. So we’re going to start with the innocents who could not say no and who had no one of any sense to stand up for them.

1. You Can Dress a Pig Up

If a 9 year old girl did not stage this photo, then the awkward sadness oozing from it can’t even be sopped up with a 5 pound bowl of cookie dough.

pig costume

2. Doubt His Farts Smell Like Rainbows

We find it a little sad to see animals dressed up, but the humiliation in this pooch’s eyes haunts us. But maybe this pug had it coming. That’ll teach him to pee on Aunt Gertrude’s heirloom Persian rug. And really, he could have run away; not to mention he has a little thing called fangs.

pug

3. Little Giblets

Now this poor baby had no defenses. What new mom or dad has enough sleep or fortitude to construct anything like this? And this definitely screams custom-made. Not a big market for transforming your offspring into entrees. Are you feeling the fear in his eyes?

turkey

4. Emu Contortionist

The little Butterball above didn’t have a chance, but this capon chose this ridiculousness. Are you grasping that the person’s head is at the base of the fowl’s neck? And, oh yeah, the head is a shoe. But the kicker (pun intended)? This was found on Sexy Costume Club. We need to go hit up the dictionary because we didn’t know that sexy was a synonym for awkward. What we do know is this is the worst manifestation of party animal ever.

emu

5. Couple of Boobs

This costume requires more commitment than a diamond ring and a mortgage. For it to make any sense, you are walking with your arms around each other. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. And you’re getting groped.

boobs

6. Creepier Than Chuckie

We cannot even imagine what went into the decision making process for this get-up. We do know what was NOT involved in the planning: Testosterone.

raggedy ann

7. Chainmail Can’t Protect You From Awkward

The one problem with this? Lack of commitment. Where is the chainmail diaper? But we’re just pulling your leg, there’s a moat-load of wrong going on here.

chainmail

We know we said it was impossible to rate these from least awkward to most, but really, these last three are the grand finale . . .

8. Precocious Prophylactic

So much wrong in such a skinny wrapper. Can you feel the awkwardness of the neighbors having to pass candy out to this? Bright side? He’s been offered an after-school job at the local health center.

trojan

9. Bakery Fail

If the previous costume was screaming for a call to Child Protective Services, this one begs for a Health Department write-up. Why exactly does her belly have to be naked?

bun in the oven

10.Words Fail Us

delivery

 

Erin: On that note, I declare ENOUGH! I do NOT want to see your husband’s head, um, there.

Ellen:  Seriously. Don’t you worry your lactose tolerant kerchief because I don’t have time to find a gurney. In fact, I have completely run out of time to look. Since I haven’t found a costume ON Pinterest, my costume is going to BE Pinterest.

Halloween Costume Pintershizz

Need some more “acceptable” DIY costume suggestions? Check out our round-up.

Erin: And this is why we love you.

Ellen: Happy Halloween everybody! Put down that Mason jar for a second and follow us on Pinterest!

-Ellen and Erin

 

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Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

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Our DIY Halloween Costume and Humor Roundup

Our DIY Halloween Costumes: Pig, Blind Referee, Pinterest Board, and MORE! Recipes and party ideas, too.  | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We’re a couple of sensible moms who love Halloween. When you think about it, it’s one of the more relaxing holidays. No big family meals to cook, no presents to wrap, no legends to impersonate (stop trying to make the Great Pumpkin happen, Linus).

Ellen: Pinterest is trying its hardest to up the ante, but you just have to resist. (And in some cases, just resist the awkward.)

Erin: Oh, resist? Like the year you created the zombie wedding to win the Trunk-or-Treat trophy?

It's a nice day for a zombie wedding. Trunk or Treat Ideas. | Halloween costumes  | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This is what winning look like. Well, at least on Halloween.

Ellen: Hey, that was our elementary school swan song. It was really more about competition in general than getting crazy about Halloween. We have scaled back since then.

Erin: Really? Like the time you brought Pumpkin Spice Lattes you made from SCRATCH to my party?

Crockpot Pumpkin Spice Latte Recipe: Delicious and Easy! Perfect for a Halloween or tailgate party! Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

More pumpkin recipes here.

More pumpkin recipes here.

Ellen: Well, you’re the one who has the annual Halloween Bash.

Erin: Okay, so we both can get a little swept away with the celebrations, but I think we balance it out with the way we drag our feet getting our costumes together.

Ellen: Despite the fact Walmart has been oozing with Halloween since August, I don’t think about my costume until I’m-About-To-Run-Out-Of-Time-End-Of-October.

Erin: Me too, but hey, we always look cute. We’re masters at pulling that mess together at the 11th hour.

Ellen: It doesn’t hurt to have a dress-up closet that looks like this:

DIY Halloween Costume Roundup - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

It just looks bad because there is a mirror doubling the mess. Yeah. That’s the story I’m going with. By the way, I want to go as a bank robber this year and not one stinkin’ black mask in that disaster.

Erin: Gah. It looks like one of those photos where the dog has torn up the door and the rug and the caption reads “I thought you were gone forever, so I panicked.”

Ellen: Well, it was Spirit Week for my high schooler and she did panic every day with the chore of dressing for the theme. In fact, one day her class had to dress up like Toy Story characters. She put her own spin on Hamm: dime adorned bow tie, tutu, duct tape piggy bank slot, and Converse.

DIY Halloween Costume: Hamm the Pig From Toy Story - Pig Ear Tutorial - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Ellen: Only problem was, we did not have pig ears and could not even find them in the store. There were zebra, giraffe, cat, puppy, bunny, cow, tiger, lion, cheetah, and elephant ears. But NO pig. However, we had pink bunny ears so I performed a bit of Halloween origami magic.

Erin: I do love me some ingenuity sprinkled over my procrastination. Behold what Steve and I came up with last year. Indiana Jones and Soccer Girl.

DIY Creative Halloween Costumes - Indiana Jones and Soccer Girl - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Ellen: I must have missed that movie. Are you sure ingenious is the word you’re looking for? You picked some soccer stuff up off of your floor and Steve threw on a leather coat. Maybe lazy fits this better?

Erin: I’ll take ingenious off the table, but I reject lazy. I’ll settle for brilliantly easy. And maybe you should dress up like a Stone Thrower because it’s not like you and Frank coordinate.

Ellen: Not true! There was that one year where I was a werewolf and he was the full moon. I might have just finished the Twilight Trilogy.

Creative Couples DIY Halloween Costume - Werewolf and Full Moon - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Erin: Okay, I’m mildly flummoxed with the adorableness, BUT yours is store-bought and his is just a t-shirt. I expected him to be a papier-mâché sphere or at least have a tinfoil satellite orbiting his head. Or give me some hipster cleverness. He should be wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt.

Ellen: I’ll have you know, I designed the t-shirt on Zazzle. And Look at the milkmaid brimming with ideas. You didn’t make this costume either.

DIY Halloween Costumes - Milkmaild- HILARIOUS - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Erin: No, my sister-in-law gave me this as part of my Christmas present one year and it has been the gift that keeps on giving. Some might say I’ve been milking it.

Ellen: Ba-da-bum. So sexy. But if you want creative, I’ve got your creative. Frank was a blind referee. Get it? A little duct tape for the stripes, the wooden dowel from the zombie wedding for the cane, and the bear whistle from camping plus my sunglasses from my Lasik surgery, and he had a clever costume.

DIY Halloween Costumes - Blind Referee - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Ellen: And just to double dose you with the Williams’ creative “BOOM!”, here is the ultimate Pinterest costume: PINTEREST!

Creative DIY Halloween Costume Pinterest Board - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Erin: Well, I got my own “BOOM!” I’m bringing the sexy so hard this Halloween that Toulouse and Tonic included me in her Sexy Costume Round-Up for Moms.

Toulouse and Tonic DIY Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms with Erin from Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

There’s more where this came from here.

Ellen: Well, well. Good for you! Those costumes are hilarious. But we need a judgement call here on who is the winner between us. You may be bringing sexy back, but I have minions AND duck lips.

DIY Halloween Costumes - Minions and Pinterest Board - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Erin: I have an observation. You may say you find Halloween relaxing, but I think it just might be the most competitive of holidays for you.

Ellen: I’m glad you brought that up. Do you think you could have trophies for best costume at your party this year?

Happy Halloween!

Follow_us_on_Pinterest_pic

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Love Is . . . a Frozen Halloween Costume Giveaway


We are girls who LOVE Halloween.

From Trunk-or-Treating . . .

Ellen and her girls might have taken home a trophy for this one but who's keeping score?

Ellen and her girls might have taken home a trophy for this one but who’s keeping score?

to the great costumes for our kids . . .

Costume Collage

When your kid dresses up as the Charlie Brown ghost you can pat yourself on the back, right?

or us . . .

Ellen-and-Erin-Halloween

Who doesn’t love a sassy witch and a saucy milkmaid?

we love every pumpkin-flavored, cobweb-covered, haunted hint of this holiday.

You know what else we love? Winning. That trophy for trunk-or-treating was no accident and there were plenty more where that one came from.

BUT you know what we really, really, REALLY, love? Giving away chances to win to people we like!

Well, it’s your lucky day, because we’re super-excited to share a chance to win some great prizes just in time for one of our favorite holidays! If you happen to be harboring a Frozen fan or two (and who isn’t?), then you are going to want to get in on this action and quick!

Halloween is nearly here, and we’re teaming up with Kandoo and some of our favorite bloggers on Instagram to co-host an epic Frozen Halloween costume giveaway.

Frozen IG Contest

Love MAY be an open door, but it most definitely IS a giveaway with three Frozen Halloween costumes and a $100 Amazon Gift card! It’s practically swoon-worthy!

Frozen IG Contest Prizes

Enter Now!

Complete the form below to enter. Four winners will be chosen to receive one of the prizes. Must be 18 years of age to enter. Giveaway ends at Midnight on Saturday, October 11, 2014.

Be sure to Instagram your kids in their favorite Halloween costumes using #FrozenHalloween. We’ll see you there!

Whether you’re trying to potty train your toddler or you just want your older kids to wash their hands every time, be sure to visit Kandoo for great tips, tricks and products for naturally clean fun!

Frozen Halloween costume giveaway--Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

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Oops, Ellen Pintershizzed Again: Beverage Edition 2.0

Pinterest, how we really do love thee! You make us laugh with funny little ecards like this:

Check out our board of funny "Snorts"

Check out our board of funny “Snorts

You send traffic to our blog from our pins like this:

And you inspire Ellen to complete projects like this:

Unfortunately, you also dupe Ellen into abusing her friends on New Year’s Eve with swill like this:

Erin: Oh sweet sprinkles, I had hoped I would never see the Kahlua Float Fail again. Champagne and ice cream?! Gack.

Ellen: All I can say is I was wooed by this lovely picture. And it would have at least presented better if you had some darn flutes instead of those tacky plastic cups.

champagne and ice cream

Erin: But I had nothing to do with you using caramel jimmies instead of chocolate. To be fair, that picture looks tempting and you usually are pretty good at picking out recipes.

Ellen: It ‘s kind of a super power of mine . . .

Erin: That, and modesty.

Ellen: ANYWAY, the root beer floats I made for the kids were yummy.

Erin: It’s hard to mess up a root beer float, although I guess you could have used mint ice cream or something . . . you know, if Pinterest told you to.

Ellen: Funny. I do have to admit, I was Pintershizzed. Lucky for you, I wasn’t afraid to splash it all over my friends.

Read the whole Pintershizz series here.

Read the whole Pintershizz series here.

Erin: But you did have a recent tirumph. Those Crockpot Pumpkin Spice Lattes you brought to my Halloween bash were great.

Ellen: They WERE good and doesn’t Mary look adorable serving them up?

Check out the recipe.

Check out the recipe.

Ellen: But didn’t you hear the complaints that I used, gasp, caffeinated coffee? Apparently most of us are so old that we can’t consume caffeine after 2 pm. I have no such problem, but maybe I just cultivate a superior level of exhaustion.

Erin: I’m not sure that is brag-worthy.

Ellen: Well, that is not the Pintershizz anyway. THIS is where I, and I alone, got Pintershizzed.

Gack

Gack. Bakind soda and vingar came to the rescue.

Erin: What is THAT?

Ellen: That is the bottom of my crockpot AFTER I had already scrubbed it out twice. And I’m talking the bottom of the cooking unit.   The warm and toasty latte that sloshed between the pottery crock and the metal heating part baked to a lacquer-like finish worthy of Chinese cabinetry. Apparently liquid doesn’t transport well in a crockpot.

Erin: That is an understatement.

Ellen: It took multiple cycles of baking soda and vinegar to get that nastiness clean. Hey, maybe I’ll get my revenge on Pinterest by pinning that disgusting picture.

Erin: I think you need to work on your revenge plots. How about we just tell people to follow us on Pinterest because we have a whole board of great libations?

Ellen: Fine. But I’m still pinning it.

 

 

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Ten Ways Fall Will Foil You

For those of us who grew up under the mind control allure of Martha Stewart and wished we could craft a vintage paper leaf wreath or fashion an acorn pin out of felt (real crafts, y’all!), fall represents a simple beauty not to be outdone by the gaudier holiday season to come.

Only two books and one bazillion hours were sacrificed to make this wreath.

But the truth, dear friends, can be an ugly thing. Fall has a dark side that will bring you to your knees or at least to the point of crying out, “Whatever, Martha!”

 

fall foil

1. Pumpkins—  Whether lit from within or left to shine with their singular, natural beauty, the humble pumpkins scream of bounty and harvest. Until they get you screaming for another reason.

Inevitably, these beauties are forgotten in the monster mash that is Halloween. It’s a rare year that Ellen doesn’t have to scoop the squishy remains of her pumpkins off the front porch with a snow shovel. Bring on the mold and the fruit flies!

I look all shiny and pretty now, but just wait until I am spilling my rotten innards.

2. Football –We used to be simpatico with the ‘ole pigskin, but now we both have high schoolers and EVERY Friday night is a football game.

Our derrieres are frozen to the bleachers, our eyes are glazed over from the mediocre action, and our tummies are growling from the crappy food we DIDN’T eat at the game. Then to add insult to injury, our husbands scream at the TV the rest of the weekend because someone didn’t complete a pass or the ref made a bad call. Go Team! Thanks, Fall!

3. Orchards—Nothing says Fall like a trip to your local orchard to get fresh apples, BUT, Danger, Will Robinson! You’re lured in with the promise of a myriad of fun fall activities to enjoy. You get hyped up on the thought of a fabulous family photo perfect for bragging on Facebook. In the golden slanting light, you start thinking that this orchard might be a fabulous place to spend the afternoon . . . until you realize you’re being hunted like antelope on safari by a pack of yellow jackets. You’ve been warned. It’s all we can do.

4. Apple Cider Donuts— If the stinging anaphylaxis-inducing insects didn’t get you at the orchard, this one will take you down. Or more accurately, plump you up. You cannot escape the powerful grip of this confection. We would not be surprised AT ALL to discover that the farmers pipe the delicious aroma of frying donuts to all four corners of the farm. You are salivating so much by the time you make it to the checkout line that you shout, “Give me all the donuts!” This one will really hit you on the bottom line and the backside.

5. Pumpkin Latte–Ellen loves Dunkin Donuts for creating this seasonal delight. It’s warm, delicious, and she treats herself to just one or two each year (okay, each week). Imagine her chagrin when her order was bungled and she received it iced. It should ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NEVER BE SERVED COLD. EPIC FAIL. Thanks for screwing up Ellen’s reward to herself for passing on the apple cider donuts. (Erin doesn’t have to imagine this Fall Fail. She heard it play out on the phone in real time. It wasn’t pretty, people!)

6. Spiders— It’s THEIR season and we are all just living through it. Enough Said. <shiver>

7. The What to Wear Dilemma— Fall is the ficklest of friends. Sometimes Fall will bring you temps that will make you think you woke up in July. And then again, Fall might bring you this. . .

It makes deciding what to wear on a daily basis one of the trickier things you might have to navigate. Thank goodness for layers!

8. Footwear— This one needed it’s own line. Note to the chick wearing flip-flops with socks in the Starbucks line: That’s not what we mean by layers.

9. Frickin’ Leaves—  If Fall didn’t break you with the yo-yoing temps, the flesh-hungry yellow jackets lurking in the apples, or the apple cider donuts threatening to balloon your booty, the LEAVES will seal the deal.  Mother Nature transforms into a magazine-shredding toddler rampaging through your yard. And someone needs to come up with a better solution than the trusty old Rake-and-Bag because we don’t have time for the Motrin-and-Ice that follows.

10. Corn mazes—  Bottom line:  You are coughing up hard-earned cash for the opportunity to get lost. And you WILL get lost. Forty-five minutes later, you MAY crash through the border, NEVER the elusive exit, hot, muddy, and agitated . . . or you may need to be lead out by a teenager whose job is to mock rescue you.  Thank goodness there’s an apple cider donut ready and waiting.

But some parts of fall have no downside. We LOVE the tastes of fall, especially when they don’t make us work that hard to get them!

Hope you are enjoying your autumn!

Erin and Ellen

 

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10 Questionably Amazing Memories

For Monday Listicles, Ducky, the maestro of sass and humor at Batcrap Crazy, suggested “10 Amazing memories from not so long ago.”

Hmmm. When you think amazing, you think of wonderful blessings like rainbows and microbrewed beer. Things that radiate positivity. So, we started making a list of memories and it was long and it was great, BUT it was booooor-ing. And we wanted you to be amazingly entertained. We needed a different angle.

So when all else fails, turn to the dictionary. (Okay, we all know we Googled it, but we like to pretend we’re old school.)

Amazing: adjective – Causing great surprise or wonder; astonishing.

 

So we’re going with memories that evoked surprise, wonder or astonishment retold with our own measure of sass and humor.

Our Version of 10 Amazing Memories

 1. Ellen remembers the time Erin punked her.

We were forming our LLC and I had the paperwork for Erin to sign. We live about 35 minutes apart and our  schedules for that week were so crazy that we were hard pressed to find a time to meet. Erin chimed in that her high schooler’s soccer team was playing my daughter’s school and we could meet at the game. She thought the game was at my school and I told her she was wrong. About 5 different times. In five different ways. She insisted the game was in my neck of the woods. Before I left my house to meet her at my high school, I texted her with “Are you sure the game location is changed?” She replied, “Yep.”

Against my better judgement, I drove to my school and trekked out to the soccer field which is so far removed from the parking lot that I recommend packing a snack and a fully charged cell phone before setting out.  Squinting, I could faintly see kids running around, but as I got closer, I saw ponytails. It was the girls’ soccer team. Practicing.

Whipping my fully charged phone out, my “Where the bleep are you?” was met by her innocent “Where are you?” She thought her “Yep” clarified that the game was indeed at her school. She thought that even though I could not spare 17 minutes to meet her halfway between our houses,  I was suddenly willing to make the 90 minute round trip to her son’s school to collect her signature.   On the I’d-like-to-make-a-voodoo-doll side, at least I got to wait at the school for 40 minutes for my daughter to finish her volleyball practice.  I do not wonder if the rest of what I said was blazed upon her brain forever.

2. Erin remembers a time when she could keep her calendar straight.

So with exhibit A (see above) still fresh in everyone’s memory, I proceeded to punk my husband, Steve, as well. As I set off to the cross country championships with the girl child, I sent Steve to the soccer fields with the four boys and a crappy, erroneous game schedule. Steve pieced together the REAL schedule through luck and ingenuity for 3 of the 4 boys, but there was a victim in this fiasco: the kindergartener who missed his game completely. Never mess with a hyper-verbal kindergartner. Poor Steve not only had to deal with unraveling the cryptic schedule but the fallout from an irate five year old as well. When I saw them hours later, the little one busted through the door and announced,  “Daddy can’t take me to soccer anymore.” Steve gave me the look that long-marrieds recognize as “this one is going on the list”. Yikes!

And no one ever listened to me cite a soccer schedule again. Phase 1 of trying to rid myself of the job of Master Scheduler complete. Mwahaahaahaa.

3. Ellen remembers a time when 25 minutes was not added to each round trip to her kids’ school.

I might not have gotten so peeved about the soccer screw-up if I had not been having time sucked away by the detour to the school. Sucked away like gerbil hair attacked by a Dyson on steroids.

Three days before school began in August, the rinky-dink bridge over the trickling saliva stream of a creek on my road was closed for replacement. That bridge is still closed. I make up to three round trips to that school each weekday and sometimes on Saturdays. I have lost days worth of minutes, People.

Think of the awesome blog posts I could have written! Think of all llamas I could have pinned on Pinterest! Think of all the laundry I could have done! Wait, I’m now thinking of all of the times I could have used this as an excuse.

4. Erin remembers a time when her kids were all in the same school. On the same schedule.

With the same days off. With half the paperwork and emails from administrators. With the same drop-off and pick-up times. <sigh> Those were the days. Talk about a time suck. Love you high school.

5. Ellen remembers a time when she had regular  Friday date nights.

Speaking of loving high school, ALL activities, competitions, dances, parties, and tournaments seem to fall on Fridays. Wait, I’m exaggerating. A gagillion events consume Saturday nights too. Ironically, just when I no longer need a babysitter, my babies’ social calendars override mine.

6. Ellen remembers when she had an appendix and her house was not such a wreck.

My friends, my husband, and my children did an excellent job of keeping our lives running after my surgery, but let’s just say a lot of of things just got pushed to the periphery. And might now be overflowing to the center. A cleaning service would not be turned away.

7. Ellen remembers when she could run.

My appendectomy put a serious hurting on my half marathon training and therefore is putting a serious strain on my waistbands.

8. Ellen remembers when she could fit into this costume.

Yeah, not running is not a good thing. Coco (14) did have to cinch it quite a bit, so maybe I haven’t lost that much ground. Just put on your happy face and nod.

Caution: Only wear costumes you would like to see your daughter wear. Or at the very least add leggings, t-shirts, and boots. Or better yet, just burn them after you wear them. But Super Twix is pretty awesome.

 

9. Ellen remembers when she could find her shoes, jewelry, and make-up.

Coco doesn’t just take my old Halloween costumes.

10. Erin remembers when these pants fit.

I spent Labor Day weekend shopping furiously to piece together some semblance of a work wardrobe for the job I didn’t know I was going to have until three days before school started. All went well and I found a fair number of great pieces including these pants which fit perfectly that day. Now, two months in, they look like this. Some fabulous combo of stress, work, and regular exercise have transpired to create this situation. Or it could be a tapeworm. Either way, I’m not complaining

10% less Erin. 10% more crazy.

 

Amazing right? Check out what other nuggets of amazing are on Monday Listicles this week.

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Halloween Needed a Champion and That Champion Was Erin

Maybe everyone is hyped up on the political juice of the season. Maybe the stress of Hurricane Sandy caused people to crack. Maybe the ambiguity of the Mayan calendar is spurring people to obsessively weigh their life choices. Whatever the cause, our county leadership lost their minds over . . . Halloween Trick-or-Treating.

In all fairness, the brouhaha began to bubble because of the uncertainty of the storm. Before the hurricane hit, the mayors of the towns in our county decided to move Halloween to Friday. The County Commissioners and the newspaper were not made aware of this momentous decision, thus the headline on Wednesday proclaimed “Halloween Trick-or-Treating in Cecil County Tonight from 6 – 8 pm.” Hardly earthshaking news since Wednesday was October 31st.

But oh it was! The towns had said Friday! But the towns are in the county and the newspaper said it was tonight! Retractions and clarifications flew up on the newspaper and county websites with the final proclamation: “Bonus Holiday: Trick-or-Treating on two nights. Trick-or-Treating in the County on Wednesday and in the Towns on Friday.” This went up at 12:30 pm. On Wednesday. The day of Halloween.

And the collective response heard ’round the county was “Huh”? WTH? The TOTAL population in Cecil County is about 102,000. We are extremely rural and sprawling. You are hard pressed to really decide where the towns end and the countryside begins. The county seat is Elkton, but there are folks with an Elkton zip code who would be hard pressed to make it to town center in a half-days’ time by horse and buggy.  Just go with it, we’re trying to paint a picture here.

But in the midst of the chaos, one woman stood up, worked her Facebook account like the town crier from a bygone era and proclaimed: “Halloween will be in MY neighborhood on October 31st! Who’s coming?”

This is that woman.

 

There was some further confusion on Facebook, but did Erin waiver? She did not. She took to the streets and made signs to post throughout the neighborhood. She fielded phone calls and sent out texts.

 

She bought a bonfire to go.

Who knew?

 

She raided the Hurricane supplies and she ordered pizza.

 

And the people came from all corners of the county heeding the call of this innovative woman.

Children were costumed.

Charlie Brown Ghost Costume. How awesome is this?

 

Props were tested.

Nerf Attack Team and Katniss on Fire

 

And the children set out to reclaim October 31st as the one and only true Halloween.

Charlie Brown, Super Chicken, and Gruesome

 

The bonfire was lit.

Relax. No pagan ceremonies took place. At least that is the story we agreed upon.

 

And fun was had by all.

 

So can one voice make a difference? Can one woman fight the establishment?  We say, “Yes!” Except in Ellen’s neighborhood where they prefer their insurrections to be stealth. They’re trick-or-treating on Saturday, November 3rd.
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