Tag Archives: Pinterest

DIY Flamingo Party

A flamingo party theme works for birthdays, showers, pool parties, and barbecues! Easy, DIY, and fun! Great cake decorating tips too! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms!

I do like a good party. I have even been known to go a wee bit overboard. Not like drop the down payment on a Winnebago overboard, but more like having fourteen four-year-olds crowded around my dining room table crafting with glue and scissors. Rest assured I drew the line at glitter. Never glitter. ::shudders::

Littlest Pet Shop Habitats. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

For me, it all starts with a good theme I can sink my teeth into, but I am older and more exhausted now. Can you feel me? I now require my themes to be fabulous with a side of easy. So to that end, one of the easiest ones I have hit upon is a Flamingo Party. The best thing? It works for all ages and types of parties: birthday celebrations, baby showers, bridal showers, pool parties, and barbecues. One advantage to this theme is you can extend it cheaply and easily just by using color. Pink balloons, streamers, and netting can really extend the theme to fill your entire space.

My particular party was to celebrate a thirteenth birthday. For me it all begins with the cake . . . or in the case of the parties I orchestrate, cakessssssss.

Here’s the one I created for the family party:

Easy Flamingo Layer Cake

Decorating With Marshmallow Fondant! A flamingo party theme works for birthdays, showers, pool parties, and barbecues! Easy, DIY, and fun! Easy Cake decorating tips! Look like a pro! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms!

This cake is a great example of a wow factor that exceeds the effort. In other words, it’s easier than it looks. Always a bonus.

Start by making a layer cake from scratch like our favorite, Chocolate Coca-Cola Cake, or just use a box mix.

Next, frost it up with a base layer buttercream frosting.

Mix up a buttercream frosting and tint it with turquoise food coloring. You can find the food coloring I used here. Pssst, you can also use canned frosting. I won’t tell. Pillsbury even makes an aqua blue frosting that saves you all kinds of time.

If you need help with your frosting game, I recommend this tutorial. She mentions using a bench scraper to achieve a smooth frosting surface. I use this one.

The flamingo is made with fondant icing. I generally make my own marshmallow fondant because not only is it significantly cheaper than store bought, it is so much tastier, too. Your guests won’t be peeling it off into a discarded lump on the side of their plates.

I also find it more forgiving to work with. When you are rolling it and transferring it to the cake, I always have less frustration with breakage than I do with prepared fondant out of the package. This excellent video is EXACTLY how I make it.

She also has a video describing how to color it. Two caveats I have for that one, though. One, I almost always color mine by mixing my gel into the melted marshmallows as she describes in the beginning of her tutorial. It takes A LOT of kneading to mix color into a whole batch of refrigerated fondant. I’m talking kneading on the level of a P90X workout. And two, I always wear vinyl food prep gloves so that my hands don’t get stained.

One other tip: it’s not worth it to make black fondant. It takes forever and a ton of color to make it anything but a weird gray. I did it once, but never again. You can find it here. Keep in mind you can purchase a whole tub of white fondant, too, if you just want to skip making your own altogether.

I used leaf cookie cutters to make the feathers. I free-hand cut out the neck, used a small dish to make the circle for the head, and used the same dish to help gauge the size I needed for the beak. The eye was made from a dab of white buttercream and a speck of black fondant. Because the pieces are relatively small, it’s a much easier decorating process than trying to transfer an entire sheet of fondant to your cake. I have yet to be able to cover a layer cake with a sheet of fondant without curling up in the fetal position from the stress of it all. But just decorating with fondant pieces? That’s a hack I can completely manage.

Now remember I said cakessssssss? In my family, each birthday girl gets her own cake to dive into with abandon.

Fondant Flamingo Cake

Fondant Flamingo Cake! A flamingo party theme works for birthdays, showers, pool parties, and barbecues! Easy, DIY, and fun! Easy Cake decorating tips! Look like a pro! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms!

This cake was also decorated with marshmallow fondant, but this one is all about the shape. I baked the body of the cake in a Pyrex oven-safe bowl. Once it was COMPLETELY cooled, I sculpted the body shape with a serrated knife making sure to carve out a complete shape that would work for the neck. The rest of the scraps went to the kids who were watching my every move.

The head is a cupcake. That little beaded necklace camouflages the joining of the head to the neck. Because this cake is personal-sized, I could basically pick the pieces up and wrap the fondant around them. In case you are new to working with fondant, you need to actually ice your cake with a buttercream first so that the fondant will adhere to it smoothly. I did not do that with the neck though. The fondant around that is very thick to achieve the rounded look I wanted. I figured there was enough cake-y goodness in the body and head to make it acceptable that the neck was just for decorative purposes.

And then there were the cupcakes . . .

Easy Flamingo Cupcakes

I’m going to be honest, by the time I got to the cupcakes I was TIRED. I ordered some pretty cupcake liners, some flamingo lollipops, let the kids ice the cupcakes anyway they wanted with the remaining blue frosting, and called it a day. See? Easy! You can’t accuse me of being a perfectionist.

Easy Flamingo Cupcakes! A flamingo party theme works for birthdays, showers, pool parties, and barbecues! Easy, DIY, and fun! Easy Cake decorating tips! Look like a pro! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms!

But—and this is going to sound radical after the previous several hundred words—great parties need more than cake! Check out these fun ideas to rocket your party into the realm of success!

Flamingo Party Ideas







Ellen

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Halloween Monster Donuts DIY

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This amazingly adorable Halloween treat is incredibly easy if, IF, you heed one crucial step. Follow along and you’ll be well on your way to delighting children of all ages. Seriously, being the “best mother ever,” (that was a direct quote) is just a trip to the donut shop away.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

So I can hear what you’re thinking: “What directions could there possible be to follow? Get some donuts, candy eyes, icing, and vampire teeth and throw them all together.” Oh, simple one, I thought the same things, too. I saw the pictures floating around the internet and thought “I can do that.”

So I hit the shops to gather my ingredients, only when I got to Dunkin’ Donuts, they were a little low on donuts. Probably because it was 2:00 PM, but whatever. I had planned on getting three dozen chocolate glazed cake donuts because that was what my daughter requested, but alas, I had to make do with what the breakfast crowd left behind. I ended up with a dozen glazed and two other dozen cobbled together with chocolate glazed, pumpkin, and chocolate iced. I’ve learned as a mother to go with the flow because sometimes it’s the flow that keeps you afloat. You’ll see what I mean in a minute.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

I had a speedier time in Michaels Craft Store. It being the first day of fall and all, the slime green icing, candy eyes, and vampire fangs were right up front. Yeah, nevermind they had been up front since August. I guess I should be glad they weren’t sold out.

In no time I was home and on my way to creating my cyclops monsters . The first box of donuts I opened happened to be the complete dozen of glazed.

I soon figured out it was helpful to pinch the fangs like so to insert them into the center.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

For attaching the eye, I put a big glob of icing on the back because I wanted it to ooze out the sides.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Voilà!

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

So onto the next dozen! I went through the same procedure, except I stopped halfway through the box because I needed to switch the laundry over. Couldn’t just be making treats for the field hockey team, I needed to wash my girl’s uniform, too. Minutes later, I came back to a horror show! The fangs had sprung open to break the donuts.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Are you kidding me? I “glued” the donuts back together with some slime icing and ended up just laying the fangs on top of the other ones. Not quite as cute, but not bad either.

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

KEY TO SUCCESS: The type of donut matters! Use classic glazed donuts because they have enough spring and give to hold the teeth. Cake-like donuts crack and break apart!

I am so glad I was forced to buy so many glazed ones because they turned out the best. At least I had a bunch of those!

This amazingly adorable Halloween Monster Donuts DIY is incredibly easy, but it can trick you if you don't heed this one crucial key to success! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

May your treats not play any tricks on you!

-Ellen 

Apparently, we are all about the donuts here. Check out these posts, too.

Doughnut New Years Eve Tradition

Make a Donut Bouquet

 

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The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids’ Birthday Parties

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Okay, let’s start out with a definition of terms because what better way could there possibly be to get a par-tay started!?

So . . .

When I say over-the-top, I’m not talking about about dropping $40,000 or even dollar bills remotely approaching four figures on a party. Rest assured children has never left my parties with custom birthstone rings nor have aerialists ever descended from my trees. To my knowledge.

Also, my penchant towards over-reaching crafts, cakes, and activities has NOTHING to do with Pinterest as much as I would love to foist the blame on that most fabulous website everyone loves to roast. I WAS Pinterest before it was even a gleam of HTML code in a developer’s eye since I had dial-up internet and a film camera when my first child was born. Chew on that fossilized tidbit for a moment while I adjust my hearing aid and take my calcium.

Now, I have one important qualifier. Since there was no Facebrag to post on, my creations were not perfectly staged in front of rustic wooden fences draped with the prerequisite handmade pennant banners. However, they were enough for other moms to give me the side-eye. Just don’t give my photos the side-eye now. There was no need for the perfect picture.

So that’s what my parties were not. Here’s what my parties were.

There’s the time I hand-painted a dragon on a sheet and constructed a PVC pipe frame to hang it from so the multitude of tiny revelers could joust during my daughter’s “Unicorns and Dragons” party to celebrate her 7th birthday.

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Then there’s the time I had a herd of kids construct Littlest Pet Shop habitats using a bushel load of craft supplies. I must note that I never had loose glitter. Giving children access to vials of glitter could be the only criteria needed to diagnose insanity.

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Oh, and by the way, my kids have always gotten their very own birthday cakes to dig into. With abandon. We’re kind of famous for it. (The guests generally get their own spit-free cupcakes.)

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Okay, one more shout-out to my cakes. Indulge me because I really am sparing you from the one million pictures I want to post from my time hop through my external hard drive, and anyway, how cute is this owl? You don’t have to answer because I already know.

Owl Cake: The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Okay, just one more because c’mon, just look at it. It’s a cake that looks like an ice cream bar on a stick!

Ice Cream Popsicle Cake: The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Seriously, this post has taken me longer to write than a doctoral thesis on fondant because I have gotten so caught up in the wonderful memories. So what could possibly be the pitfall?

Well, they might have been a tad too boisterous, a tad too three-ring-circus, just a tad too much . . . pushing the bar for what passes as a successful party a bit too high. While painting this dragon didn’t set me up for further sticky situations (unless you count being drafted to paint a backdrop for Vacation Bible School and I probably should) . . .

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

. . . inviting half the neighborhood, the entire class, church friends, and the swim team did set me up for some problems down the line.

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

See, I set the expectation that if there wasn’t a ruckus with enough guests to field two complete soccer teams and a cheer squad, then it wasn’t a party. This wasn’t really a problem in the easy-breezy early years of childhood where their friends equaled who sat at their lunch tables. However, as kids got closer to adolescence and alliances became dicier and ever-shifting, this made making the guest list more tumultuous and emotionally charged often resulting in a fairly short list of invitees. And this was completely fine . . . except for the party paradigm I had created.

While I would not have changed those early preschool parties for anything, I wish I had scaled my way back as the years progressed so that a sleepover with four buddies would seem like a perfectly acceptable party. To be honest, I’m not sure who it was a bigger problem for, me or my kids.

Luckily this was not a pitfall that trapped me forever. Time and my ever maturing kids have “cured” my over-the-top-ness. And let’s face it, there are worst things to be than a party planner extraordinaire who wants to celebrate the heck out of her kids. My one wish is that you duly note things can get a little rougher in the tween and teen years when parties are not as simple as goodie bags and pinatas. Now, out of my way! I’m going to the kitchen to get a cake under some candles to make that wish come true.

Emoji Cake: The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

-Ellen 

Speaking of perfection, buy our new book, I Just Want to Be Perfect, bringing together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.

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I Attended a Pinterest Wedding. They’re Real!

We love Pinterest because it fills a void for us 70s/80s gals now that paper magazines are going the way of the telegraph. Or maybe they are fading away more like David Hasselhoff: they know the writing is on the wall, but they’re still trying REALLY hard. But unlike The Hoff who bounces around from one pun to another, at least magazines still have a solid home in doctor offices. As long as public spaces still need a way to transmit germs, magazine subscriptions will survive.

Anyway, remember dog-earing the page of the prom dress you wanted, tearing out that dreamy picture of Scott Baio to kiss every night before you went to bed, or clipping out that recipe for peach pie with plans to impress your boyfriend? Pinterest is just like that! Minus the clutter, paper cuts, and embarrassing Scott Baio confessions. But there is a dark side to Pinterest. While you KNOW you have to be a freak extraordinary to make the glossy pages of a magazine layout, Pinterest dupes you into believing mere mortals created those beautiful pins. You can really start to feel inadequate.

Did you pick up on my use of “dupe”? Yeah, that’s right. Some of the most gorgeous images and projects on Pinterest are created by talented professionals with actual training. This is what I always comforted myself with . . . until now.

I just went to the most gorgeous wedding straight out of a Pinterest feed, orchestrated by a normal human being. By normal, I mean she isn’t a designer or a party planner. She is however, insanely smart, beautiful, and talented (as you will see from the photos) so maybe normal isn’t the right word. Let’s just say she isn’t a professional. She just should be.

I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Her first step was to burst out of the box, origami it into a swan, and kick it to the curb when she selected her location: the Delaware Agricultural Museum. I am not going to lie. My family’s initial reaction was “what?”

We had been there on a second grade field trip so we had visions of the festivities taking place in the cavernous metal hanger somewhere between the combines and the Smokey the Bear statue; while praying they would be far removed from the creepy dehydrated apple head dolls. Oh, but we were there on a rainy day and never saw the village where beautiful backdrops like a covered bridge, a lovely river, and a windmill abounded. And wait for it, there was also a blacksmith shop and general store. Did you just hear Pinterest’s head explode?

I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Blacksmith Shop Delaware Agricultural Museum | I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

But did the bride book this beautiful location and yell, “Check!”? No. No she did not. She took Pinterest to school and taught it a thing or two.

Go back up to that photo of the covered bridge. Those aren’t garlands of pennants hanging from the rafters. Those are congratulation, birthday, and Christmas cards sent to them from family and friends. Go ahead and get all of the “awwwwwwwws” out of your system, I’ll wait.

On second thought you should save of those warm and fuzzies for these touches:

like the family blessing . . .

I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

and the childhood pictures of them scattered across the candy table.

Wedding Candy Table | I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

There were special touches everywhere!

The bridesmaids’ bouquets of paper flowers totally tricked your eye until you got up closer.

Paper Flower Bouquets | I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

She had these lovely embroidery hoops stretched with fabric and lace decorating the dance floor.

Embroidery hoop dance floor decorations. | I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

There was cotton candy hanging from a clothesline in front of the general store.

General Store Delaware Agricultural Museum | I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

The head table staging was simply gorgeous.

Wedding Main Table Tablescape | I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

The children’s table gave a jaunty nod to The Sandlot. “You’re killin’ me, Smalls!”

The Sandlot Inpired Kids' Table  Wedding Ideas | I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And indeed, the bride killed it with every detail. There wasn’t just one wedding cake, there was a bevy of scrumptious cakes set amongst old textbooks.

Wedding Dessert Table | I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Doesn’t it feel like she even planned for the sunbeams to stream just so? The details! The details!

Picture Frame Backdrop  Pinterest Inspired Wedding | I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

But the displayed Family Blessing should clue you in that the bride and groom cherished family as the most important detail of the day. During the ceremony, they released dove shaped balloons in memory of the groom’s sister.

I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

They personally served their family and attendants dinner, and did better then any couple I have ever seen talking with each and every guest. They also showed their love spreads outside their circle to those who need it the most. Instead of favors, they had each person pick one of two selected charities for a donation from them. Even if you’re immune to the charms of the Pinterest magic, that has to impress you.

And if their altruistic hearts didn’t make you weak in the knees, how about a picture of some beautiful children? Okay, some of them are no longer kids, but they are some fine looking cousins.

I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And I have to include one of my family. We’re in front of the blacksmith shop for goodness’ sake!

Ellen and her family. | I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And while we’re speaking of family and cousins, sometimes you just have to grab one and take a picture with Smokey. I was super glad we had access to the museum, too, even if I did have to shuffle quickly past the creepy dolls.

I Attended a Pinterest Wedding! They're real! | Look no further for wedding day inspiration! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Now go forth and check us out on Pinterest! And if you don’t know what a apple head doll is, I’m sure you can find one there. It’s easier than looking through old magazines.

xoxo, Ellen

Follow_us_on_Pinterest_pic

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10 Valentine’s Day Cliches We Are Totally Over

Here’s the deal. Between January 31st and February 11th, both of us have birthdays, and so do our husbands. By the time Valentine’s Day rolls around we are pretty much over it. Plus, it is soooooo hard to find our guys that many gifts in a row. Sure we wrote a gift guide for guys, BUT we already have all of that stuff.

Now don’t go calling us the Grinches of Valentine’s Day. We’re just tired of spending and doing by the time the 14th rolls round. Seriously, it’s hard enough mustering enthusiasm for birthdays once you high-five forty, but birthdays lurking along less than 50 days after Christmas? Meh. And then Valentine’s Day about a week later? Put a fork in us because we are DONE.

We are so done, in fact, that the clichés of Valentine’s Day make us want to hurt cupid with his own stupid bow and arrows. What clichés are we referring to? Basically everything clogging your Pinterest feed and ours.  We like to call it Pintershizz. Here, we’ll elaborate . . .

10 Valentine’s Day Clichés That Are Pintershizz

10 Valentine's Day Cliches We Are Totally Over (But laughter is not one of them.) --Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. Going out to dinner

Does this surprise you? In theory it sounds good and we do love date nights with our husbands. However, Valentine’s Day is like amateur night: the menus are often fixed, the prices are hiked, and the service is lousy because the poor wait staff is running ragged scattering those rose petals over champagne toasts. Give us a random Friday night out instead and we’ll swoon. Plus, Ellen still hasn’t gotten over the memory of the V-Day about 21 years ago when she and her husband got the worst case of food poisoning they have ever endured. The restaurant was named Il Fiore, but will forever be known as The ILL Fiore to Ellen and Frank.

Pinterest source

You might consider al fresco dining as a way to beat the crowds, but it is February, People. A table for two outside can quickly turn into gurneys for two in the Emergency Room. Because frostbite. Unless you’re in the tropics and then why are you reading this post? It’ gorgeous, get outside. Pinterest source.

2. Flowers

Okay, now maybe we ARE vying for the title of “Grinches of Valentine’s Day,” but flowers on V-day just seem so trite, and well, easy. And oh my goodness, they are expensive. Just surprise us with daisies on a sunny day in June and use the rest of the flower fund to make us some spare keys for our vans so we have a 60% chance of getting out of the house on time.

Pinterest source

Get a bonus King Kong sized box of Claritin if you order right now with promo code: thismakesmethinkyouareguiltyaboutsomething. Pinterest source.

3. Torture devices passing as sexy

Okay, we like sexy just as much as the next girl, but if it is going to cause us the discomfort of a thousand cactus needles being shoved under our fingernails while simultaneously enduring Justin Beiber piped directly into our craniums, then you can just throw that mess onto the Pintershizz pile, too.

Pinterest source

On second thought, maybe these will keep Pushy Peggy from running up on our junk in the Walmart checkout line. Pinterest source.

4. Lingerie

C’mon. Who’s the lingerie really for? Is it really a gift for us? See above if you’ve forgotten that quickly how we feel about sexy items passing for torture devices. Take Granny’s advice—nothing says sexy louder than a girl who is comfortable in her own skin panties—emphasis on the comfortable.

Bridget Jones

Is it underwear or washable birth control? Pinterest source.

5. Man Costumes

No!! Just because we said that lingerie was not exactly a gift for us, we didn’t mean our men had to dress up! This does not qualify as a gift either . . . although there is the gift of laughter to consider.

Pinterest source.

Want to see my toaster strudel? Pinterest source.

6. Geekery Fashion

We know we’ve just been yucking it up with the granny panties and with lederhosen, but Valentine’s Day really isn’t the time for gag gifts. If it makes you snicker in the store, just walk away or throw it on the Pintershizz bonfire.

Rubik's Cube Bag

It’s a puzzle, it’s a purse, no, it’s a bad idea. Pinterest source.

7. Things to Make Homemaking Easier

Get it together! No appliances are to be given on Valentine’s Day! Even a vacuum this cool can’t get you out of the doghouse . . . unless it comes with a FULL-TIME housekeeper à la The Brady Bunch. So to clarify: any appliance without an “Alice” is Pintershizz.

Pinterest source.

The only thing that will be wanted if we receive appliances for Valentine’s Day is us . . . for murder. Pinterest source.

8. Sweets

We can hear you saying, “What is wrong with you two? What is so bad about candy on Valentine’s Day?” Well, let’s just say we’ve been working really hard trying to beat the post-40 bulge and we don’t actually want to fit into those granny panties.

Pinterest source.

Nope. No jewelry in here, only diabeetus. Pinterest source.

9. The Love Toilet

Do we really have to explain why this is Pintershizz? C’mon, you’re better than that!

Pinterest source.

What better way to spend $1400 than to pave your way to divorce court? Pinterest source.

10. The Wine Purse

What did we say about tacky gag gifts . . . wait a minute. This is pure genius! Write this one down.

Pinterest source.

Making friends at PTA meetings since 2014. Pinterest source.

 

So what will we accept on Valentine’s Day since we have just poo-pooed a ton of the classics and then some? Well, we’d never turn away jewelry.

Pinterest source.

Earrings always fit no matter how much Halloween/Christmas/Valentine’s Day candy you indulge in. Pinterest source.

Unless it looks like this! Get your head in the game!

Pinterest source.

Their dreams of us making supplemental income as voodoo priestesses are just gonna have to die. Maybe we could sell their baseball cards instead? Pinterest source.

The direct route to the romance-filled center of our hearts? A night away—No! A weekend away!—fully planned by our hubbies INCLUDING arrangements for the kids and pets. That last piece of planning is what makes this the true gift of romance. Can we get an “Amen”? But even the gazillion points they would earn by scheduling babysitting would be cancelled out if they took us here.

Pinterest source.

Nothing is more romantic than hanky-panky in a drainpipe. Pinterest source.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day from the oh-so-easy-to-please Sensible Sisterhood!

 

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If You Give a Mom a Moment

If You Give a Mom a Moment - The humorous bedtime story for moms who do it all. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

If you give a mom a moment*, she’ll decide she’s going to replace the window screen that blew out 8 or 24 months ago because winter is coming and EVERYONE else has ignored it.

Chances are she will feel like she has to wash the window first.

If she’s going to wash a window, she’s going to have to search on Pinterest for an hour or 6 to find out the best way to do it.

After she pins all of the recipes and likes all of the cat memes, she’ll discover that an old t-shirt and vinegar is the best way to go for window washing.

To find an old t-shirt, she’ll have to clean out her closet. Once she tries on all of her clothes, she’ll realize most of her jeans don’t fit anymore.

This sad revelation will send her into a spiral of depression, so she’ll go looking for the kids’ Halloween candy stash to eat away her feelings.

Gorging on the candy and hiding the wrappers at the bottom of the garbage can outside will remind her that the Halloween decorations are still up outdoors.

As she goes to scrape the putrid jack-o’-lanterns off the porch with her snow shovel, she’ll see the window screen leaning up against the house.

And chances are, she’ll just leave the @&$*%& screen leaning there because the moment was gone 7 hours ago.

*Based loosely entirely on a true story.

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Awkward Halloween Costume Pintershizz

‘Twas the night before Halloween,

And all through Ellen’s house,

Not a costume was decided on,

And folks were starting to grouse.

On Ninja Turtles, on Minions, on Wonder Woman too.

All of these were rejected, even ghosts that go “Boo!”

So with nary a slim second to shave,

That red and white wonder,

Pinterest, was consulted for the save.

Erin: Wow. You know you could cut the angst if you all just wore the same costumes every year. Like me.

Crazy Milkmaid

Why would you mess with this crazy milkmaid success?

Ellen: Yeah. That is going to be a negatory for me. But, I have to admit Pinterest has not been my savior either. I’ve gotten sucked down the rabbit hole of weird Pintershizz–even weirder than your milkmaid. So while I’m no closer to being costumed, I AM very entertained.

Erin: Let’s share and entertain everyone. It is what we do after all.

Ten Tremendously Awkward Halloween Costumes

Awkward Halloween CostumePintershizz Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We original thought we’d list these from least awkward to most, but dang, they’re all just so awful. So we’re going to start with the innocents who could not say no and who had no one of any sense to stand up for them.

1. You Can Dress a Pig Up

If a 9 year old girl did not stage this photo, then the awkward sadness oozing from it can’t even be sopped up with a 5 pound bowl of cookie dough.

pig costume

2. Doubt His Farts Smell Like Rainbows

We find it a little sad to see animals dressed up, but the humiliation in this pooch’s eyes haunts us. But maybe this pug had it coming. That’ll teach him to pee on Aunt Gertrude’s heirloom Persian rug. And really, he could have run away; not to mention he has a little thing called fangs.

pug

3. Little Giblets

Now this poor baby had no defenses. What new mom or dad has enough sleep or fortitude to construct anything like this? And this definitely screams custom-made. Not a big market for transforming your offspring into entrees. Are you feeling the fear in his eyes?

turkey

4. Emu Contortionist

The little Butterball above didn’t have a chance, but this capon chose this ridiculousness. Are you grasping that the person’s head is at the base of the fowl’s neck? And, oh yeah, the head is a shoe. But the kicker (pun intended)? This was found on Sexy Costume Club. We need to go hit up the dictionary because we didn’t know that sexy was a synonym for awkward. What we do know is this is the worst manifestation of party animal ever.

emu

5. Couple of Boobs

This costume requires more commitment than a diamond ring and a mortgage. For it to make any sense, you are walking with your arms around each other. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. And you’re getting groped.

boobs

6. Creepier Than Chuckie

We cannot even imagine what went into the decision making process for this get-up. We do know what was NOT involved in the planning: Testosterone.

raggedy ann

7. Chainmail Can’t Protect You From Awkward

The one problem with this? Lack of commitment. Where is the chainmail diaper? But we’re just pulling your leg, there’s a moat-load of wrong going on here.

chainmail

We know we said it was impossible to rate these from least awkward to most, but really, these last three are the grand finale . . .

8. Precocious Prophylactic

So much wrong in such a skinny wrapper. Can you feel the awkwardness of the neighbors having to pass candy out to this? Bright side? He’s been offered an after-school job at the local health center.

trojan

9. Bakery Fail

If the previous costume was screaming for a call to Child Protective Services, this one begs for a Health Department write-up. Why exactly does her belly have to be naked?

bun in the oven

10.Words Fail Us

delivery

 

Erin: On that note, I declare ENOUGH! I do NOT want to see your husband’s head, um, there.

Ellen:  Seriously. Don’t you worry your lactose tolerant kerchief because I don’t have time to find a gurney. In fact, I have completely run out of time to look. Since I haven’t found a costume ON Pinterest, my costume is going to BE Pinterest.

Halloween Costume Pintershizz

Need some more “acceptable” DIY costume suggestions? Check out our round-up.

Erin: And this is why we love you.

Ellen: Happy Halloween everybody! Put down that Mason jar for a second and follow us on Pinterest!

-Ellen and Erin

 

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Our DIY Halloween Costume and Humor Roundup

Our DIY Halloween Costumes: Pig, Blind Referee, Pinterest Board, and MORE! Recipes and party ideas, too.  | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We’re a couple of sensible moms who love Halloween. When you think about it, it’s one of the more relaxing holidays. No big family meals to cook, no presents to wrap, no legends to impersonate (stop trying to make the Great Pumpkin happen, Linus).

Ellen: Pinterest is trying its hardest to up the ante, but you just have to resist. (And in some cases, just resist the awkward.)

Erin: Oh, resist? Like the year you created the zombie wedding to win the Trunk-or-Treat trophy?

It's a nice day for a zombie wedding. Trunk or Treat Ideas. | Halloween costumes  | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This is what winning look like. Well, at least on Halloween.

Ellen: Hey, that was our elementary school swan song. It was really more about competition in general than getting crazy about Halloween. We have scaled back since then.

Erin: Really? Like the time you brought Pumpkin Spice Lattes you made from SCRATCH to my party?

Crockpot Pumpkin Spice Latte Recipe: Delicious and Easy! Perfect for a Halloween or tailgate party! Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

More pumpkin recipes here.

More pumpkin recipes here.

Ellen: Well, you’re the one who has the annual Halloween Bash.

Erin: Okay, so we both can get a little swept away with the celebrations, but I think we balance it out with the way we drag our feet getting our costumes together.

Ellen: Despite the fact Walmart has been oozing with Halloween since August, I don’t think about my costume until I’m-About-To-Run-Out-Of-Time-End-Of-October.

Erin: Me too, but hey, we always look cute. We’re masters at pulling that mess together at the 11th hour.

Ellen: It doesn’t hurt to have a dress-up closet that looks like this:

DIY Halloween Costume Roundup - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

It just looks bad because there is a mirror doubling the mess. Yeah. That’s the story I’m going with. By the way, I want to go as a bank robber this year and not one stinkin’ black mask in that disaster.

Erin: Gah. It looks like one of those photos where the dog has torn up the door and the rug and the caption reads “I thought you were gone forever, so I panicked.”

Ellen: Well, it was Spirit Week for my high schooler and she did panic every day with the chore of dressing for the theme. In fact, one day her class had to dress up like Toy Story characters. She put her own spin on Hamm: dime adorned bow tie, tutu, duct tape piggy bank slot, and Converse.

DIY Halloween Costume: Hamm the Pig From Toy Story - Pig Ear Tutorial - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Ellen: Only problem was, we did not have pig ears and could not even find them in the store. There were zebra, giraffe, cat, puppy, bunny, cow, tiger, lion, cheetah, and elephant ears. But NO pig. However, we had pink bunny ears so I performed a bit of Halloween origami magic.

Erin: I do love me some ingenuity sprinkled over my procrastination. Behold what Steve and I came up with last year. Indiana Jones and Soccer Girl.

DIY Creative Halloween Costumes - Indiana Jones and Soccer Girl - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Ellen: I must have missed that movie. Are you sure ingenious is the word you’re looking for? You picked some soccer stuff up off of your floor and Steve threw on a leather coat. Maybe lazy fits this better?

Erin: I’ll take ingenious off the table, but I reject lazy. I’ll settle for brilliantly easy. And maybe you should dress up like a Stone Thrower because it’s not like you and Frank coordinate.

Ellen: Not true! There was that one year where I was a werewolf and he was the full moon. I might have just finished the Twilight Trilogy.

Creative Couples DIY Halloween Costume - Werewolf and Full Moon - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Erin: Okay, I’m mildly flummoxed with the adorableness, BUT yours is store-bought and his is just a t-shirt. I expected him to be a papier-mâché sphere or at least have a tinfoil satellite orbiting his head. Or give me some hipster cleverness. He should be wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt.

Ellen: I’ll have you know, I designed the t-shirt on Zazzle. And Look at the milkmaid brimming with ideas. You didn’t make this costume either.

DIY Halloween Costumes - Milkmaild- HILARIOUS - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Erin: No, my sister-in-law gave me this as part of my Christmas present one year and it has been the gift that keeps on giving. Some might say I’ve been milking it.

Ellen: Ba-da-bum. So sexy. But if you want creative, I’ve got your creative. Frank was a blind referee. Get it? A little duct tape for the stripes, the wooden dowel from the zombie wedding for the cane, and the bear whistle from camping plus my sunglasses from my Lasik surgery, and he had a clever costume.

DIY Halloween Costumes - Blind Referee - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Ellen: And just to double dose you with the Williams’ creative “BOOM!”, here is the ultimate Pinterest costume: PINTEREST!

Creative DIY Halloween Costume Pinterest Board - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Erin: Well, I got my own “BOOM!” I’m bringing the sexy so hard this Halloween that Toulouse and Tonic included me in her Sexy Costume Round-Up for Moms.

Toulouse and Tonic DIY Sexy Halloween Costumes for Moms with Erin from Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

There’s more where this came from here.

Ellen: Well, well. Good for you! Those costumes are hilarious. But we need a judgement call here on who is the winner between us. You may be bringing sexy back, but I have minions AND duck lips.

DIY Halloween Costumes - Minions and Pinterest Board - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Erin: I have an observation. You may say you find Halloween relaxing, but I think it just might be the most competitive of holidays for you.

Ellen: I’m glad you brought that up. Do you think you could have trophies for best costume at your party this year?

Happy Halloween!

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10 Ways Fall Will Foil You

Fall is a glorious respite between the heat and intensity of summer and the cold and bustle of winter. For those of us spellbound by the mind control allure of Pinterest and its goading to craft vintage paper leaf wreaths or fashion pumpkins out of mason jar lids (a real craft, y’all!), fall represents a simple beauty not found in the busier and flashier holiday season to come.

10 Ways Fall Will Foil You -- Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Pinterest source

Fall is seemingly perfect in its jewel tones and crispness. The sunburn of summer is a fading memory and the frostbite of winter is far away, but the truth, dear friends, is there is darkness lurking under every golden maple leaf. Sure Fall lures you in with its golden sunshine and its crafty crafts, but don’t let your guard down because fall will foil you!

Yeah, we have some gripes with autumn being the "perfect" season. #humor --10 Ways Fall Will Foil You -- Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

1. Pumpkins— What fault can be found with pumpkins? Whether lit as a jack-o’-lantern or left  as is, the humble pumpkin screams as the poster child of bounty and harvest . . . until they get you screaming for another reason.

Sure they look wonderful decorating your front stoop, but these beauties are inevitably forgotten in the monster mash that is Halloween. Frost and mold take their toll until Ellen is yet again scooping the squishy remains of her pumpkins off the front porch with a snow shovel. It’s like a welcome wagon for fruit flies! Yaaaayyy.

I look all shiny and pretty now, but just wait until I am spilling my rotten innards.

2. Football –We used to love the occasional college football game and Ellen even enjoys the NFL, but now we both have high schoolers and EVERY Friday night is a football game.

Our derrieres are frozen to the bleachers, our eyes are glazed over from the mediocre action, and our tummies are either growling from hunger or gurgling with rebellion over the crappy snack bar fare. Thanks, Fall, for turning an occasional diversion into a mandatory march. Go team!

3. Orchards—Nothing says Fall like a trip to your local orchard to get fresh apples, BUT, Danger, Will Robinson! You’re lured in with the promise of fresh air and good old-fashioned family fun. You get invigorated by the thought of a fabulous family photo perfect for a Facebook humblebrag . . . until you realize you’re being hunted like antelope on safari by a pack of yellow jackets. You know you can just buy apples at the store, right?

4. Apple Cider Donuts— Once again we have the damn orchards to blame for this one.You cannot escape the powerful grip of this confection because we’re pretty sure the farmers pipe the delicious aroma of frying donuts to all four corners of the farm. You’re pretty much yelling “Give me ALL the donuts!” by the time you hit the checkout line. But this yumminess really hits you on the bottom line, or rather, the backside. Good thing big booties seem to be the in thing.

5. Pumpkin Latte— Fall is for pumpkin-ing the everything. Ellen loves a good HOT pumpkin latte, but she limits herself to just one or two each year. It was with more than a little trepidation that she accepted the ICED pumpkin latte when they bungled her order, but she thought “Why not? How bad could it be?”

BAD!

It should ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NEVER BE SERVED COLD. EPIC FAIL. Thanks for screwing up Ellen’s reward to herself for passing on the apple cider donuts.

6. Spiders— It’s THEIR season and we are all just living through it. Enough Said. <shiver>

7. Bipolar Temps— Fall is the ficklest of friends. Sometimes Fall will bring you temps that will make you think you woke up in July. And then again, Fall might bring you a visit from Jack Frost.

It makes deciding what to wear on a daily basis one of the trickier things you might have to navigate. Thank goodness for layers! Start the day in polar fleece, end it in a tank top.

8. Footwear— Is it okay to wear boots because it’s October, even if it’s still 80 degrees? Are flip-flops okay paired with a cardigan? Note to the chick wearing flip-flops with socks in the Starbucks line: THAT is not the best of both worlds.

9. Freakin’ Leaves—  ‘Tis the season for Mother Nature to throw a tantrum in your yard like a magazine-shredding toddler. If Fall didn’t break you with the yo-yoing temps, the flesh-hungry yellow jackets, or the donuts threatening to balloon your booty, the LEAVES will seal the deal.  And someone needs to come up with a better solution than the trusty old Rake-and-Bag because we don’t have time for the Motrin-and-Ice that follows.

10. Corn Mazes— Bottom line: You’re coughing up hard-earned cash for the opportunity to get lost. And you WILL get lost. Forty-five minutes later, you’re crashing through the border, hot, muddy, and agitated . . . only to  be scolded by the teenaged employee because you did not use the exit that was “clearly marked” on the map from hell. Fordeville Diaries knows EXACTLY what we’re talking about.

Thank goodness there’s an apple cider donut ready and waiting for you and your Donner party.

Feel like we’ve been Debbie Downers? Check out our recipes that use that modern marvel: canned pumpkin. Total autumnal upside.

Hope you are enjoying your autumn!

Erin and Ellen

 

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