Ellen: I need a little more “No” in my life.
Erin: Well this conversation is starting off in a happy place. What does that even mean?
Ellen: I am drowning in “back to school.” It’s all flooding in: the schedules, the homework, and worst of all, the requests for my time filling up my inbox. My summer only ended 15 minutes ago, but my plate is piled so high, it looks like a Biggest Loser contestant fell off the wagon.
Erin: I hear you. I ‘m still pouring sand out of my shoes while trying to dole out sandwiches and loose leaf.
But I have two words for you. Nancy Reagan.
Ellen: I’m giving YOU two minutes to explain your ridiculous self. Go.
Ellen: Erin’s idea of a timely reference. Erin: TIMELESS! There is nothing wrong with timeless!
Erin: Think Nancy Reagan circa 1986. Think red dress. Nancy sitting on the couch with President Reagan imploring millions of kids to “Just Say No”. . .
Ellen: To drugs. You get that she was talking about drugs; which is what I’m going to need if you don’t get to the point soon. Do you realize you just made a 26 year old reference? More importantly, how is this related to my overloaded schedule?
Erin: You really need a better appreciation of the classics. I’m saying to channel your inner Nancy and just say “No”.
Ellen: I’m going to channel something in a minute, but you did get my brain churning again. Man, I am rusty from the summer. But YOU don’t even remember that you’ve already shared the “How to Say No” technique that, no joke, changed my life.
Erin: Hold on there, Sister, I’m not sure I can stand all this love. But what are YOU talking about?
Ellen: Why do you never embrace the GENIUS of this technique? It is a SCRIPT for saying “No”! It brilliantly removes the awkward!
Erin: I guess I’m just so used to using it.
Ellen: Okay, I’ll give you that. When you’ve been foolish enough to display competence in distributing Goldfish crackers and juice boxes like we have, you get placed on the “Call to Volunteer” short list.
Erin: If only all the volunteer jobs were that easy. Don’t get me wrong, I support volunteering, but maybe not everything is worthy of my time…
Ellen: Oh, I hear ya. Chairing the dunk tank at the school carnival? I’m there!
Erin: Selling Girl Scout cookies? Meh, I’ll do it.
Maybe this guy does need some love. Or dignity. Ok, we can all agree that he needs something.
Ellen: Knitting scooper cozies for underprivileged dog walkers? Pretty sure I’m busy until three weeks past forever.
Erin: We jest, but that’s why you have to slip into that Nancy alter-ego once in a while. While most of what we get asked to do is very worthwhile. . .
Ellen: And it’s usually asked by people we highly respect. . .
Erin: We still only have 24 hours in our day like everyone else.
Ellen: That is why this technique is so magical. It shows respect while still making it clear that you really mean no. There’s nothing worse as a chairperson than being strung along with maybes and half-hearted commitments.
Erin: Well, I can think of a couple of worse things….
Ellen: Save it for another post. I AM going to embrace the genius and present without further ado. . .
How To Channel Your Nancy and Graciously Say “No”
1. Thank the person. (We know, right!) “Thank you for asking me to knit scooper cozies.”
- We definitely don’t want you to be insincere, but this generally stuns people into silence.
2. Compliment them. “You do such a great job of making sure dog walkers are comfortable and stylish.”
- Once again, sincerity is key. This person probably does need to be thanked. They are giving their time for something they believe in.
3. Compliment them again and then just say no. “And while you do such a wonderful job, I must say no because I don’t have the time to devote to your project.”
- This is to the point, honest, and does not leave any wheedle room.
Ellen: No more hemming and hawing! No more stumbling over excuses! And more importantly, no more looking like or feeling like a donkey diaper for saying no.
Erin: But the key to making this part of your arsenal is to practice.
Ellen: Stop laughing because we are not kidding. Every good actor has to practice her script. Those words have to roll off of your tongue for them to be sincere and to not leave further room for begging.
Erin: Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to go call my sister and see if SHE appreciates my Nancy Reagan reference.
Ellen: Yeah.
I need to post this script on my fridge. I need to recite it daily! How do you say that again? Thank you, but NO?! I’m going to need some serious practice.
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I’m not even kidding when I say that practice is key. The words have to be THERE for this to work. Ellen
Oh, I definitely need this!
I’m not sure if I can pull it off, but I will definitely try.
I agree that the pooper scooper needs something!
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Just practice. Really. Truly. You could have knocked me over with a feather the first time I used this. Ellen
I love this! A script is *exactly* what I needed! I have started trying to volunteer for things that I actually like or would have fun doing instead of saying yes out of guilt or obligation. There’s a job for every volunteer out there and if I take one I dislike, I’m keeping someone who would like it from having their fun. Or something. It’s a work in progress for me. -Lisa
Exactly! We are all for giving our time, but you can’t do it all and most of the time it is not necessary to do something you hate. Different strokes for different folks. And you’re welcome if that theme song is now stuck in your head. Ellen
And so on and so on and Scooby dooby doo-bee!
(It was Sly in the Family Stone that got stuck in my head from that and not the tv show theme song… because I’m old.) -Lisa
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I might have to try this. While my current strategy of pretending to have a seizure anytime someone asks me to do something does work, it also has some drawbacks.
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Not if you wear a helmet and Depends. Ellen
Not to double comment with Lisa, but girls I feel YOUR pain. I am all about channeling my inner Nancy Reagan! 🙂
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And I meant to sign that comment so you wouldn’t think I have had a stroke.-Ashley
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You know we support, and propagate, double commenting. 🙂 Ellen
Thanks for the laugh! I’m afraid I am old enough to get the Nancy reference though it would not have occurred to me to use it!
At back to school night last night, my son’s 3rd grade teacher asked if anyone would volunteer to make bonnets for the girls for the Oregon Trail project. Um no. I don’t sew, sorry. But I can go buy a bunch of bandanas for the boys. Luckily the HS teachers stop asking those things.
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LOL. Erin has a gift for references.
Your HS kids must not be in band. I just got asked to sew color guard uniforms. Yeah. I bought wooden hangers and donated them for the uniforms instead. Ellen
Excellent, ladies! Now, will this work when I don’t want to have sex with the hubs??
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1. “Thank you for asking” 2. “You do a solid job of wanting to propagate every second of the day.” 3. “And while you are master of the missionary, I do not have the time or inclination to devote to your cause at this time.” 😉 Ellen
Haaaaaaaaaa! Genius. He will like that much better than “get the hell off me, perv!” Thanks, sisters.
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This is such a wonderful idea and I think you will appreciate that little extra time it might give you. JUST SAY NO!!!
I keep seeing your hysterical ecards on Pinterest and had to just stop over to say THANK YOU for making my day with them. Love them, and this one especially was especially spot-on 🙂
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Thank you! You Just made OUR day!
I hope you don’t mind if I write out your ‘just say no’ instructions on the back of my hand. I feel better already.
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Not at all. I was considering having engraved copies made so I could just hand them out. You know, cut out that step of having to look the other person in the eye? Ellen
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