Dear Son,
Today you turn 16. You are no longer a child but nearly a man. And as much as I celebrate the ever more amazing you, I want to wrap you up in super duper extra strength bubble wrap and keep you safe and sound as you navigate the next few years. In light of the obvious practical issues with doing this, I offer this prayer instead.
May you always remember to silence your phone before you drive. My heart couldn’t take a last text from you about what you want to eat for dinner. And furthermore, may other cars steer clear of you on stormy nights, in winter storms, in summer downpours, and on sunny days. May every road you travel bring you safely back to us in one piece.
If you decide to skydive, hang glide, scale huge mountains, wrestle alligators, or fly a small Cessna, may you have every bit of luck to get you back home and the good sense to know that your mother doesn’t need to know about that craziness until long after the fact.
May you make good decisions every time. But when you make the bad ones, may you be given a moment of grace so that the consequences aren’t life-altering, heart-breaking, or soul-crushing. May you appreciate this moment then for what it was: a gift and a chance to grow. May you understand why we will feel the need to take away the car/phone/TV/computer to help you learn this lesson.
May you pick a college that we can all afford that gets you where you want to go. May you be blessed with friends there who will help you bridge that last important step to full manhood. May you appreciate the wonderful opportunities college affords. And may you have a ridiculously good time there. Bills and responsibilities and weekly paychecks will all come soon enough, so have fun. Just not the kind of fun that requires bail money. May you have the wisdom to know the difference.
May you forgive us our trespasses. These are the years where we are revealed fully to you for good or ill. May we measure up to the job we were striving to do. If you ever suspected we are winging this parenting thing, you were only partially right. We took our job very seriously—read the parenting books, asked for guidance, fretted about travel teams, laid down technology rules and saved for college tuition—but we wonder often whether all those decisions were setting you on the right path. Throw us up a flare once in a while to let us know things are going well on your end. And know fully that every mistake was one of the heart. You’ll see someday just how blind and crazy love can make you.
And speaking of love, take your time. True love is worth the wait. May you find someone who loves you, not like we do, but completely, honestly, and deeply. May your future partner be your friend too who can help you on your way. There is nothing like a partner who can help you laugh through life’s hiccups, hold the bucket through life’s illnesses, and grab the tissues through life’s disappointments and heartbreaks. And as a bonus, may you find someone who happens to think that I am great too. I don’t want to have to beg you to visit, so find someone who loves your family as much you do.
May you pick a job you love that makes enough money so you can move out of the basement, but not so much that you are trading happiness for a fat paycheck. Money is great. We are big fans of money, but it pales in comparison to time with the people you love.
Oh, and here’s prayers for a life well lived. Be all in. Explore, read, see the world, get involved, defend a cause, right a wrong, step out of your comfort zone, sing, dance, make a fool of yourself, swim, run, hike, watch sunsets, play games, and look at stars.
Live long and prosper, sweet boy. The best is yet to come.
Love, Mom
-Erin
Beautiful. Since I skydived yesterday, I can’t say a lot with credibility. I texted my dad afterward and he told em I wasn’t allowed to lecture him about riding his motorcycle at age 63.
I wrote something similar for my daughter Taylor, after she turned 17 in January.
http://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com/2013/01/24/bittersweet-symphony/
You’re an outstanding mom, Erin, and again, after related to this I know why I’m more of an Erin.
Lance recently posted..Up In The Sky
Love it! I hope he prints this out and keeps it in view. And how could anyone not think you’re great? (For a moment I thought the photo was of your youngest.)
Beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes as it made me think of my baby turning 16 in November. Happy Birthday!!!!
I had a feeling this was going to make me cry, and it did. Happy birthday to your baby boy, Erin – may he listen to your prayers and make them all come true.
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How did I not know that Ace looks so much like Eddie at this age!
Erin … okay .. really … weep weep weep. I am certainly making my mistakes along the way. Still looking for the do over or easy button.
Erin, once again I am awed by your words and love of family and wisdom. Thank you for the beautiful expression of your love for your son. Yesterday was Casey’s birthday and I happen to be lucky this very moment to be riding through Colorado toward Denver after a truly lovely weekend with him and his wife and Michael. Your words touched me deeply because I so identified with what you wrote, although I never would have been able to express such love and desires as beautifully as you. I am much further down the parenthood road than you and I can say how fortunate I am that so much of what you wish right now for your son has become true for my own. Thank you for your beautiful thoughts and words and thank you for the tears of gratefulness they brought.
This made me cry! How touching and yet funny at the same time. I have a 19-year-old son and all of these things are as true at 16 as they are at 19. I don’t think they ever stop being our “babies” even when they are grown. Lovely post! Thank you for sharing it.
This is perfect, Erin. Just perfect and I need to somehow remember your words when my oldest turns 16 – and when my baby boy does (though that’s never going to happen because he’ll always be a baby). You expressed these feelings of a mom so much more clearly than I ever can!
Katie E recently posted..Monday Listicles: 10 Photo Memories for Memorial Day
I love this! And such a sweet picture at the end. I totally feel this way about my son as he grows up.
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted..Heard and Seen Over the Weekend
That ties it. I’m not letting my son grow up. But if he must, I’m borrowing this letter.
Nicole Leigh Shaw recently posted..I’m stuck on Aqua Net ’cause Aqua Net’s stuck on me
Oh I loved this! Your humor and heart always shine though in your writing. I think all moms pray their children see them as faulted grown ups who tried their best and worked their hardest. I pray my kids are one day able to grant me the grace I gave my own parents when I became one. Thanks for sharing you thoughts on this specialist of days.
Vicky
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Really beautiful. I think you covered many of the things that most moms wish for their sons. If only they listened to everything! I’m just starting on this parenting journey– my son is 2– but I think often about what kind of mom I will be to him as a teenager. I hope that I am one that he can talk openly to. Did your son read this prayer? What were his thoughts?
Best wishes!
Mommy Call recently posted..Tuesdays with Mommy: A touch of childhood
Oh how I love this. My oldest is 17. I’ve often said it’s like when you teach your little boy to ride a bike – you have to let them fall a couple of times so they learn how to ride, except the stakes are MUCH HIGHER when you’re a teenager.
Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food recently posted..Coffee Talk
Oh Erin, this is all at the same time sweet, lovely, and scary. I am not ready for all of this with my boys. But this is all I want for them.
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This was beautiful, exactly what we want our kids to know. My daughter is 17 and graduating high school in a few weeks. She is my oldest and it went SO fast!
This was so so so so beautiful, Erin. I just want to print it up and hold onto it for 11.5 years until my son turns 16. It is every hope a parent – a mother- could have for her little boy – everything she wants him to have. I know my little guy will be a young man before I know it, and posts like this are such a reminder of what we often hate to hear – if not to love every minute – than to find reasons to drink in the silly, crazy, tough, mind-boggling parts of childhood. Thank you!
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Beautiful, perfect, and real. I don’t have teenagers, but I am guessing you captured the prayer of moms of teen guys everywhere. What an amazing love you have for him…happy 16 🙂
Meredith recently posted..10 Reasons My Children Won’t End Up In Prison (probably)
I thought watching my son turn 10 was tough. When he turns 16, I think I’ll need to be heavily medicated.
All kidding aside, what a beautiful post. Your son is lucky to have you as his mom.
Steph at I’m Still Learning recently posted..Marriage is not what I thought it would be
Oh so lovely… just precious. 🙂
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