We have a dirty little secret . . .

Come a little closer . . .

Closer . . .

WE HATE THAT OUR KIDS ARE GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!

Erin: Whoa, I just felt pitchforks clanking and hackles raising through the WiFi waves!

Ellen: Don’t kick us off of the island! We honor your fist bumping and heel clicking, really we do. Those of you whooping it up, may we quote that great philosopher, Garth of Wayne’s World fame, and say, “Party on!”

Erin: Yes. What it really boils down to is we are a little selfish. The stone cold truth is that summer is our time to just be. No lunches to pack, no carpools to drive, no sports teams to tolerate, and no calendars to check . . .

Ellen: And re-check and then check again and then still mess things up. Dammit.

Erin: It means that we have time with our kids . . .

Ellen: Who we adore so much it hurts.

Erin: But we also have time for us. Books that sit all year on that bedside table finally get read when the only thing on the agenda is dipping our toes in the pool or hanging out on the dock.

Ellen: Oh, aren’t you sounding so erudite. Um, a good chunk of our time was spent goofing around like this:

 

And swinging around like this:

 

And fangirling like this:

 

Erin:  It’s just that summer gives me time to really remember myself–not Queen-of-the-Crockpot Erin, not Homework-Task-Master-Erin, not Supreme Champion of Scheduling Erin, just Erin. Summer means time lost in pages of favorite books or spent paddling into sunsets on favorite waters or playing lazy long games. It’s exploring favorite trails and visiting special friends . . .

Ellen: Wait, whose summer are we talking about? When did you have all this time?

Erin: What!? I read. I paddled. I played.

Ellen: Yes, but the picture you’re painting makes me envision you sitting on a porch swing while a ceiling fan lazily turns above you, cooling you just enough. I picture you sipping lemonade as a single drop of condensation slides down the side of your crystal goblet. Oh, and there is a rainbow, definitely a rainbow. With a unicorn. And no bugs. Oh, and what else is absent from this picture? Let’s see. Oh, no kids asking you questions every 15 seconds.

Every time I have talked to you on the phone or been in your presence you have been shushing kids and saying, “JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE!!”

Erin: Weeellllll, summer does also mean a houseful. Not all of the kids I’m shooing away are even mine. It’s like a clown car when I slide back the minivan doors at the community pool. The lifeguard must think I have ten kids.

Ellen: And nothing adds to a mom’s feelings of peace and tranquility like a visit to a community pool.

Erin: Okay, the chaos is still there, but at least I don’t have to get kids to two different schools, make sure everyone has their homework done, and keep my lesson plans on track. The buzzing around me does increase by about twenty-fold, but there is just more space in my head.

Ellen: Okay. THAT I can accept. You were starting to sound like a crazy person.

Erin: <sigh> Maybe it really is time to go back to school.

Ellen: Now I feel like I was too hard on you. We will really miss the fun times with our kids. There was a huge chunk that was pretty darn Instagram-worthy. Like this:

And this:

And this:

Ellen: We sure did a lot of jumping.

Erin: On that note, it really is time for us to “jump” back into school again too. Dirty little secret or no, the moment has come to exchange the boogie boards for the backpacks whether we like it or not.

Ellen: Well, I’m trading in my “jumping” for kicking and screaming. I don’t wanna start the routine again. Okay, maybe, I’ll just quietly kick and whine in my head. Being a good example for the kids and all of that nonsense.

Erin: We really have to go back to school. Right?

Ellen: <sigh> We really do.

 

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Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

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