If you give a mom a moment*, she’ll decide she’s going to replace the window screen that blew out 8 or 24 months ago because winter is coming and EVERYONE else has ignored it.

Chances are she will feel like she has to wash the window first.

If she’s going to wash a window, she’s going to have to search on Pinterest for an hour or 6 to find out the best way to do it.

After she pins all of the recipes and likes all of the cat memes, she’ll discover that an old t-shirt and vinegar is the best way to go for window washing.

To find an old t-shirt, she’ll have to clean out her closet. Once she tries on all of her clothes, she’ll realize most of her jeans don’t fit anymore.

This sad revelation will send her into a spiral of depression, so she’ll go looking for the kids’ Halloween candy stash to eat away her feelings.

Gorging on the candy and hiding the wrappers at the bottom of the garbage can outside will remind her that the Halloween decorations are still up outdoors.

As she goes to scrape the putrid jack-o’-lanterns off the porch with her snow shovel, she’ll see the window screen leaning up against the house.

And chances are, she’ll just leave the @&$*%& screen leaning there because the moment was gone 7 hours ago.

*Based loosely entirely on a true story.

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