Sometimes it’s embarrassing to love something, but the heart wants what the heart wants and my heart wants . . .

Sour Patch Kids

This is not just a passing fancy. I have had dreams about them. One year, I gave them up for Lent and started obsessing about them hard core. I was one step away from Taylor Swift-ing a lost love ballad to them. The low point? I wish.

After nearly forty years of perfect dental hygiene, I thought they were responsible for my first cavity. Luckily, it was not the dire situation I had feared, but I knew I was in deep at that point. So deep in fact that I have been known to refer to them as the ultimate new hipster crack. Once, when we read about a big drug bust in Baltimore, I actually told Steve they were probably bringing drugs into the city through the Sour Patch Kids.

It’s a love song gone all wrong, but I just can’t walk away. So I will do what all people head over heels do: I’ll pen a little poem to them. Just in time for Valentine’s Day. So here, in 57 words . . .