First, you must know that we, Ellen and Erin, are all in when it comes to kids and sports . . .
Erin: But as I look at the open tabs on my computer right now, my heart clenches. They are all related to youth sports. My clan of five has two track and field runners, two soccer players, and a swimmer this season. My wallet and my calendar cringe.
Ellen: You know what’s cringeworthy? I saw a billboard advertising for Little League starting at age four! Age four? If you have to struggle to get him on the potty, why would you sacrifice your Saturday mornings to see him run the wrong direction around the bases? Why are we starting so young?
I’m pretty sure we’re facing the right way.
Erin: Seriously. You need to pace yourselves for when this mess gets real with travel teams . . .
Ellen: Once again—why, oh why? What is wrong with just playing in your backyard? In your own county? In your own time zone?
Erin: Because this merry bandwagon is a bundle of fun. . . at first.
In the beginning, you’re a little heady about the deep ores of awesome they are mining on these special teams. But that’s before the toxic vapors hit you, and you realize what a gas-guzzling, time-sucking, money-grabbing endeavor the travel team can be.
Wait! Didn’t you just pole vault onto this bandwagon by signing Coco (14) up for a travel volleyball team? If you’ve avoided them this long, why start now?
Ellen: It sure as heck isn’t because we think she’s going to the Olympics. We don’t even own those rose-colored goggles.
Nothing says “vacation” like a three day tournament 75 miles from your house.
Erin: In your defense, your girl entered high school, and she was a swimmer without a swim team. She wasn’t going to leave high school without a varsity letter, so she kicked off her flippers and picked up that volleyball. Too bad she didn’t think of that before ninth grade, but the travel team is providing a great crash course.
Ellen: I guess if we had started her at age four, we wouldn’t be in this predicament. My bad.
But let’s get back to those rose-colored glasses. Can we all just calm the heck down and stop thinking we have the next Michael Phelps/Mia Hamm/Peyton Manning eating their Cheerios at our tables?
Erin: Now, to be fair, SOMEWHERE, SOMEONE has the next superstar throwing his dirty socks on her floor, but sitting on the sidelines, you would think they’re all headed to the big leagues.
Ellen: Or a Division I college.
Erin: Well, let’s talk about college. Many parents jump on this travel team hamster wheel dreaming of the big payout when college rolls around.
Ellen: But college athletics is not the pot o’ gold it’s made out to be. The odds of a high school athlete getting a sports scholarship is only 2%. But this is just talking about getting SOME money. The odds of getting a full-ride are far worse.
So if sports is not the get-into-college-free card of our dreams, why do it at all? The crazy schedules, the extra laundry, and the endless loops to soccer fields and swimming pools don’t make a compelling argument. But here are five reasons sports are more than worthwhile.
Sports gives them . . .
1. A place to fail.
You have to fail to succeed.
Who wants to raise losers? We do!
Michael Jordan said it best: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Erin: I want my kids to be like Mike. Resilient adults bounce back from this thing we call life with humor and grace. We want our Bumbles to bounce when life knocks them to the ground. So we want them to have plenty of practice with how it feels to fall and fail and get back up again.
Ellen: And speaking of practice, sports provides the proof positive that failure is not the worst thing that can happen. In sports, the more you fail, the better you get. Just ask Michael Jordan or any kid who has tried to get a volleyball over the net.
2. A place to shine.
Shine, Baby, Shine.
Erin: Every kid deserves a moment to feel how good it feels to be good at something. As moms, we love to see our kids show the world just how special they are. But sports helps them feel good even if they are not THAT good at it. Even as the world’s worst baseball player on a team that makes the Bad News Bears look like a hotbed of talent, a kid can still have his moment. I know. I was that Bad News Bear. I still remember that moment.
Ellen: It comes down to this: if you could spoon-feed your child high self-esteem, we would all be serving it, but that’s not quite how this parenting thing works.
Sports gives them a steady diet of opportunities instead. Each skill mastered, each hour logged, each competency checked off is feeding the image they have of themselves until they emerge on the other side of childhood with a healthy self-worth in place.
3. A place to feel the pressure.
Pressure: making diamonds for million of years.
Erin: Is this off-limits to say? We’re not Tiger Moms here, but we love that sports forces our kids to bring their A-game every once in a while. My husband says all the time that he loves nothing more than watching his kids out there, seeing them stretch themselves to their limits.
Ellen: Whether you are stepping up to that line, climbing up on the blocks or winding up on the mound, when you have all eyes on you, you’ve got to bring it. Sports teaches you to get out of your head, focus on the essentials, and, to borrow from swimming, “swim in your own lane.”
Erin: Good Lord, sports clichés exist, because they are spot on!
4. A place to feel the glory.
Reaping the rewards.
Ellen: And speaking of cliches, can we talk about the thrill of victory?? Everyone should get to feel that euphoria that comes from pushing yourself and succeeding.
Erin: We know there is a movement against participation trophies and we are standing here with nodding heads and fistbumps, but a real trophy? Earned with hard work and practice? Well, nothing feels better than that.
5. A place to belong.
Where everybody knows your name.
Erin: Yeah, we know there are technically “team sports” and “individual sports”, but in our experience, you do them all with a buddy. Or 50. We are strong advocates for not having “all of your friends in one basket.”
Ellen: Nothing gives your child another group of friends to turn to quite like a sports team. Hanging around a pool deck for three or seventy hours waiting for your event gives you plenty of time to socialize. Nothing bonds friends like sharing a bag of soggy Doritos in between races.
Erin: For my oldest, because he was entering a high school where he didn’t really know anyone, the soccer team was the key to his feeling comfortable. The team gave him an easy entry into the social scene.
Ellen: Get ready because I’m about to lay down another cliché—There is no “I” in team. The world really would be a better place if people could learn to cooperate better.
It Really Is All Worthwhile
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