Ellen Is Better Than WebMD

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I have some explaining to do.

Because I’m doing it as if I’m on autopilot.

In fact, I do it as automatically as I breathe in and out sixteen times per minute.

I am trickling out medical advice.  Maybe even oozing.

What is the biggest difference between Dr. Seuss and me, besides fame, fortune and a body of work that transcends time? I have a degree. And it is not even a degree in philosophy like Dr. Seuss was gunning for, mine is an actual M.D.

So if I got the papers, what’s the problem with me giving advice? Well, for the love of all that is good, WebMD, the Hippocrates of the Interwebz, disclaims that it gives medical advice. This is at the bottom of the page:

WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Now those leeches you ordered off of Amazon don’t seem like such a good idea, do they? You still have time to cancel your order and to get thineself to a real physician.  Go, I’ll be here when you get back.

So even WebMD admits it is just spewing information. I literally cringe every time someone says, ‘I read on WebMD…,” because you know he went in looking for the symptoms for strep throat and came out thinking he has leprosy. But I know that unless he was French kissing armadillos, he’s probably okay. WebMD does not give that brand of reassurance. No sir.

Now I’m not saying the information dispensed on WebMD is false or faulty. What I have seen has been true, if not slightly off topic from the original search query, such as, “How the hell does my friend now think she needs uterine ablation when she was looking for birth control options?”

What gets in my craw about WebMD is twofold:

1. I can’t really find who is writing these articles. I like to know the sources of my information because I’m weirdly scientific and logical that way. Or distrustful, you choose.

2. It is as if the “Symptom Checker” algorithms are powered by deranged monkeys set on dominating the world, one neurosis at a time.

Workroom at WebMD

So in case you are not picking up on the vibe of my disdain, it needs to be clear that I want to be better than WebMD. No wait, I know I’m better than WebMD because if you tweet to me about a bladder infection, I’m not going to suggest schistosomiasis, unless of course you have just been skinny dipping in the Nile.

Warning: you will see unspeakable horrors if you Google “sole of foot image.”

So how to prove myself to you? How do you know I’m thinking about you and not eating a banana while looking up your condition on Wikipedia? In real life, my physician reveal unfolds naturally, one morsel of information at a time, with you discovering I am a competent and thoughtful person on your own. My actions speak louder than my words.  But we don’t have that luxury here. So brace yourself for the awkward, because I’m just going to throw my C.V. out there. Please, please, know this would NEVER go down like this in real life. I swear. I just have it tattooed on the bottom of my foot to show my closest friends and save time. It does make pedicures interesting and informative, though.

So in lieu of the natural ebb and flow of conversation, here goes: High School through College- Valedictorian/MENSA scholar/Chancellor Scholar at the University of Maryland (I got into Ivy League, but went with the total free ride)/B.S. cum laude in Microbiology/Phi Beta Kappa.

I attended the University of Maryland at Baltimore because of financial and geographical restrictions. I honestly don’t remember what my class rank was, except I was in the upper half, but definitely not in the top ten. Which brings me to one of my favorite doctor jokes:

What do you call the student that graduates at the bottom of his medical school class?  Answer: Doctor.

Let that one sink in for a moment. Yeah. We weren’t all competent. There were certain classmates I would have awakened from a coma to avoid because killer SAT scores and dumbass can quite cozily reside in the same person.

I earned the Robley Dunglison Award for Excellence in Preventive Medicine. I could have also graduated with honors in Embryology,  had I not blown off the 1,000 word paper I could have sneezed out in ten minutes, in order to concentrate more fully on the planning of my wedding after my first year. That in the literary biz is known as foreshadowing, ladies and gentlemen; if only I had read the Cliff Notes to realize it. I went on to match in OB/Gyn at the University of Maryland.

I only share this with you to give you the background I crave to know about the phantom writers on WebMD. What truly seals the deal on my worth are my stories.  Any one of these could be a complete story in and of itself, but I’ll just give you the “status update” versions.

  • In medical school, I got to be first surgeon on an ascending aortic aneurysm repair. This was a big deal. I was THE surgeon. My attending let me do this because the woman was a heroin addict and he was a bit of a judgmental soul. Also, I studied my socks off and could recite the surgery step by step before we stepped into the O.R.
  • I’ve touched every organ in the human body, dead and alive. This is my kids’ favorite.
  • My first lumbar puncture (spinal tap) was on a 3 month old baby. I sweated puddles into my clogs on that one.
  • In one year of residency, I delivered over 200 babies. One was in a hallway.

  • Trocar: medical term for “WTF is a whale harpoon doing in an O.R.?” The spear is removed leaving a tube through which the camera is inserted. This explanation brought to you by Animal Planet and the AMA.

    For my first laparoscopic surgery, right as I was harpooning expertly inserting the trocar through the patient’s navel, my chief resident gave this bit of helpful advice: “Only use enough force to pop through the fascia. If it starts pulsing you’ve gone too far and you’re in the aorta. Don’t pull it out because the patient will bleed to death before we can call vascular.” Doctors are hilarious. Once again, puddle of sweat in my shoes.

  • Why yes, I have removed bizarre foreign objects from vaginas. PSA: vaginas are about 3 inches long; there is nothing you can’t get out yourself.

  • If I told you, I had to look at a diagram to have any hope of hitting the right spot in your mouth, would you walk or run away from me?

    A pregnant woman with no prenatal care decided that 3am was the optimal time to seek attention in the ER for her bum tooth. There are no dentists in the ER at 3am, they are smart. I refused to give her narcotics because I wanted her to come to the OB clinic for care, but offered her a nerve block because I thought she would refuse once she saw the needle.  Not only did she let me stick that needle in her mouth, she held the anatomy book for me so I could figure out where to stick it. For real. We don’t do teeth in medical school.

I could go on, but the bottom line is that I quit medicine, it didn’t fire me. While that is definitely a story for another day, I have one more shining quality to share. If I don’t know something, I admit it and then I do a cracker jack job researching the  focused answer. No monkeys involved.

I think Coco(13) summed it up nicely the other day. “Mom, you should have come to career day. You’re probably the only stay-at-home-mom-doctor-blogger combo out there.” You know what the weirdest thing about that statement is? I’ve yet to feel justified to call myself a blogger.

—Ellen

 

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100 thoughts on “Ellen Is Better Than WebMD”

  2. Carrie

    I’m so glad that no doctor needed to put their hands on my son’s heart! That being said I owe them my eternal gratitude for their quick diagnosis, close observation, and finally – saving my son’s life. I’m sure your patients felt the same way.

    Of course being a stay-at-home-mom-doctor-blogger sounds like a pretty rewarding and meaningful job too!

    🙂
    Carrie recently posted..My husbandMy Profile

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  3. Kyla

    Oh, WebMD…where your rib and back pain might be a gallbladder attack! Ellen, thanks for your friendship and listening ear during one of my toughest times! Your insight and advice helped me in so many ways. You are the best!

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Kyla, you are a sweetheart. Thank you. And obviously, I can’t seem to help myself, hence why I was explaining myself to the internet. I thought WebMD brought in the dash of humor I needed to tell my story. It is a little joke in cyberspace that every symptom on WebMD leads to cancer. Ellen

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Ha! And wink! Thank you about the blogging compliment. It’s weird, that it is in this area that I need validation.

      You know all too well there is some bad doctoring going on out there. Ugh. Ellen

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  6. Karine

    I whole heartily agree about WebMD… between that and my grand-mother, most of everything I’ve ever had was diagnosed as cancer.

    On Monday, I was officially diagnosed with Lupus. It sucks and its scary.

    And guess what?

    Grandma and WebMD had both diagnosed me with this ages ago… now THAT’s friggin’ scary!

    You are a kickass stay-at-home-mom-doctor-blogger! You know it’s true when your kid actually wants you to come to career day! 🙂
    Karine recently posted..Toothless Big BoyMy Profile

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  7. Zoe

    Have you ever watched comedian Tom Papa’s skit (Live in New York City 2012)? He mentions WebMD in his act and suggests that it should change its name to “You Probably Have Cancer.com)

    BTW I would love to hear why you quit the medical profession.

    Zoe,
    (A-stay-at-home-behavior-therapist-mom-blogger) 🙂
    Zoe recently posted..LEGGO MY EGGOMy Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      I have not seen that Tom Papa skit, but I usually enjoy his comedy a lot. We saw him live opening for Jerry Seinfeld twice.

      I’m glad you said that about the quitting story because that is coming…as soon as I write it. Have you written your story stay-at-home-behavior-therapist-mom-blogger? 🙂 Ellen

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  8. Jennifer - treading water in the kiddie pool

    Well there you have it. Since you just “outted” yourself, I will now be sending all my 3 am frantic “my baby is doing x, while barfing y, and spinning his head around; how do I fix it?!” tweets. You are my new best friend! In fact, here’s one for ya. I have strep throat curiously, because I haven’t had this in like, a decade. My baby was already on amoxicillin for an ear infection so he is in the clear. The 6YO has shown no symptoms at all and ate a gallon of popcorn at the movies today (which would’ve been impossible if his throat felt anything like mine does – ouchie!). 6YO flies up to his dad’s house this afternoon (who I kindly warned about the strep so that if an issue arose, he would get off his duff and take him to the doctor) and I promptly receive a text that 6YO has been rushed to the doctor and tested positive for strep and how could I be so evil as to send him a sick child so that he now “has to deal with him”. Leaving aside the numerous other issues here that make me wanna bring out my baseball bat, is it possible to test positive for strep before ever displaying any symptoms? Or did I truly miss all signs despite not having left my 6YO’s side for the prior 24-36 hours?
    Jennifer – treading water in the kiddie pool recently posted..To-Do ListsMy Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Jen, I tried to tell her this was going to happen, but she just can’t help herself. Ellen is incredibly patient and tolerant of her friends IRL, so I know she will answer your questions thoughtfully. I think, however, that this weekend might be for her the start of a crazy week—both of her babies graduate this week—one from elementary school and the other from middle school. Between the pageantry and attendant parties, it might be awhile before she answers your question. Now, if you want my opinion (not medically expert IN ANY WAY—purely based on anecdotal evidence from my 5 kids), abso-freaking-lutely. Take care. Hope little guy feels better. You too. Erin

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    2. The Sisterhood Post author

      So is your 6 y/o sick or did or did the dad just flip and have the child tested? You can be a carrier and not be sick, i.e. with the sore throat and fever.

      Strep has a 2 to 5 day incubation period from the time you have contact to the time you show symptoms. Someone being treated for strep with antibiotics is contagious for about 24 hours from the start of treatment.

      Sorry for your bad situation. 🙁 Ellen

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      1. Jennifer - treading water in the kiddie pool

        He didn’t act sick or have any fever or have any complaints. I think his dad just freaked out and had him tested anyway. When I asked if the 6YO had complained of something he just said he thought the 6YO “sounded funny”. It’s only a 45 minute flight so I find it unlikely he just tanked in 45 minutes. I actually have doubts about many aspects of this story which is why I’m curious…It will be 10 days before I get him back and can ask for the whole story.
        Jennifer – treading water in the kiddie pool recently posted..To-Do ListsMy Profile

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  10. Michelle Longo

    I love this post. I had to stop going to WebMD because a nurse friend of mine said I should stop emailing her to see if she thought I had cancer. Usually at 3am.

    Now I get paranoid that maybe I have cancer, but I don’t look it up because I know WebMD will confirm it.

    I have to know though – does it drive you nuts when people ask you medical questions? Because my nurse friend is getting tired of me and I need a new source 🙂

    Your list of things you’ve done is amazing. I would NEVER have the courage to do that. Ever. Not even close.
    Michelle Longo recently posted..Enough.My Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Oh, Michelle, I don’t think she would mind at all. She was starting to do it on Twitter quite a bit anyway, so we thought she needed to out herself. Erin

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    2. The Sisterhood Post author

      Well, I think I have a different level of tolerance because I’m not a practicing physician, I’m a SAHM. That being said, when I was a practicing physician, people’s complaints, their lack of desire to put any real investment in their own healing, and their entitlement to the “magic pill” cure made me want to throat punch bunnies on a regular basis. So I give your friend some slack. 🙂

      As far as courage goes, I was terrified and sweaty on a regular basis. But that has given me some perspective in my life today. I have this charming motto:” If there’s no blood splashing on the floor, we can take a breath and take it down a notch.” I’m going to get around to cross-stitching that on a pillow one of these days. With that being said though, there is nothing that sends me into a tizzy more than trying to make the right choices in parenting my girls. Erin can attest to that.

      I’ll leave you with this. One thing I always ask people who troll the internet searching out ailments, is what is fueling your anxiety? I’ve had friends who have really explored that question, and it is not easy, find some peace. Ellen

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      1. Michelle Longo

        Actually my friend is a SAHM too and she’s cool and mostly doesn’t want me to worry myself to death. She’s a smart girl.

        People who don’t want to help themselves make me crazy, period. I can’t imagine being a physician and it’s a major reason I gave up my social worker career before it really even started!
        Michelle Longo recently posted..Pre-BlogHerMy Profile

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        1. Michelle Longo

          Didn’t mean to send that.

          I agree about the blood on the floor pillow. You should totally make that in all that spare time I’m sure you have 😉

          And yeah, you hit the nail on the head with something fueling the anxiety. You are wise.

          By the way, I’m so nosey on Twitter, I read all the advise and store it just in case!

          (I’m done rambling now.)
          Michelle Longo recently posted..Pre-BlogHerMy Profile

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        2. The Sisterhood Post author

          Oh wow. There is a special place in heaven for social workers. It was always such a relief when the social worker stepped in to help with a case. Ellen

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  11. Liz @ShiftlessMommie

    Ok, so first of all: Go UM at Baltimore! That’s where I’m going to law school currently. Med students are always over in our library, which boggles my mind because by the time exams come around, the law school library is closer to the Thunderdome than a peaceful place for individual learning. Anyway, you are so right about picking the free ride over the Ivy league. No regrets here.

    Second, that is one impressive C.V. Your story about the pregnant lady rings so true. I work in the ER and I hate when the patients call my bluff, but they always do.
    Liz @ShiftlessMommie recently posted..Out of my cold, clammy hands!My Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Oh my gosh, I always studied in the law library when I went there, but that was eons ago when the med library was a hole, think setting of a horror film except with less light and ambiance. The “new” library seems pretty nice so I don’t know why the crossover still happens except I always found it comforting to see the law students freaking out; it made me feel like I wasn’t the only tortured soul on the face of the earth. On the flip side, watching other med students flip out either made me feel like I was studying the wrong chapter if I wasn’t stressed or if I was stressed, it would send me to the level of buzzing like a tuning fork. Maybe that is the real explanation. 🙂

      Alright, I knew you were in law school from your blog, but what do you do in the ER? I can’t find that. Well, and the pregnant lady got sent up to me at Labor and Delivery because as you well know, pregnant woman are treated like nuclear weapons about to detonate in the ER. No matter what was wrong with them, they were sent up to L&D.

      And I struggled with the CV release because it just seemed so pompous, but I didn’t know how else to express to the interwebz that I wasn’t an idiot or worse. Because really, people tweet and comment about their health ALL OF THE TIME and I just couldn’t help myself from interjecting. Hope the fictitious foot tattoo lightened the mood, although I’m secretly hoping someone asks to see it. Ellen

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      1. Liz @ShiftlessMommie

        I didn’t think it was pompous at all. Sometimes you have to shout above the rabble or else we will all end up following whoever seems the most confident…and that’s when real harm is done.

        I work in the ER as a behavioral health crisis evaluator. Basically, when someone say they are going to kill themselves or someone else, I get to go in and see if they are serious or if they just want something or if they really just need an outpatient plan. It is, for lack of a better word, a crazy job. I also work on the inpatient psych unit as a social worker-ish (I don’t have my license so I can’t call myself a social worker) and as an insurance reviewer. I recently started doing PPD screenings on L&D, which has actually been a nice break from my usual, although I don’t discount the fact that my PPD patients usually have all the painkillers they could ever need, unlike my ER patients. That makes the ER patients a bit more crabby.

        We actually take pregnant psych patients on our psych unit, which is rare. A lot of hospitals refuse if they don’t have 24-hr OR’s in their L&D unit (we don’t). It’s always a mess when we get pregnant patients, though, because, like you said, they are treated like ticking time bombs, particularly on psych floors.

        I originally went to law school to do health law and I am still technically on that track, but I’m feeling a little burned out. I liked what you said about quitting medicine, rather than being fired. I know that feeling, at least with mental health. But I also relate to the urge to chime in when someone has a question or is being given misleading information. My recent personal favorite was when my mom’s employer (a state employer, mind you) told her that they were choosing (?!) not to follow the health care law mandate that children can stay on their parents’ plans until 25. To LexisNexis and the State Code! I just can’t resist.
        Liz @ShiftlessMommie recently posted..Out of my cold, clammy hands!My Profile

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        1. The Sisterhood Post author

          Well, you have my admiration. My psych rotation almost did me in. I can’t believe you also get the joy of reviewing insurance. Can’t imagine why you would be burned out. 🙂

          We still got the psych patients if they were pregnant. They would each be assigned a sitter. Hey, we also had the prison contract. The good times were always rolling. Ellen

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  13. Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy

    Of all the genius things you are and do, you should DEFINITELY own being a blogger, because you are, my friend!

    And what does it say about me that I’m morbidly curious to know what kinds of items have had to be removed from vaginas? Don’t answer that question…
    Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy recently posted..The Friendship OakMy Profile

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  14. The Sisterhood Post author

    Thank you. I’ll admit that while the last sentence of the post is true, not dramatized for literary effect, I may have subconsciously been fishing for compliments. 🙂

    And speaking of fishing, I’m glad someone took the bait about the vaginal spelunking. I’m making a list of future stories to write to mix into the blog. Ellen

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  16. Mary

    I can attest to how tolent and patient Ellen has been with me. I think I could literally call Ellen one of my doctors. She has taken stiches out of my chin (with the worst lights ever and the tiniest stiches with no loop!), taken me to the hospital and kept me calm and assured while my husband had emergency surgery and has researched all my medical issues (my complicated uterus has even driven Ellen back to her 40 lb medical school books to research and I think she even enjoyed the challenge of all my issues). She even puts up with me asking her to bring her otoscope to book club so she can check my ears or my kids. Thank you for being the real Web MD!!

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  17. kgwaite

    I loved reading this! I abhor Web MD. And I love that in spite of all your creds, you don’t feel qualified for calling yourself a blogger. Do all writers feel this way?
    kgwaite recently posted..Skip HammelsMy Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Good lordy, now you’ve brought up the “W” word. I didn’t even dare type out writer. Maybe if I had a Certificate of Blogging I’d feel more official? 🙂 Ellen

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  18. Delilah

    I knew we were in the presence of greatness.

    I have been banned from WebMD by Husband. Apparently WebMD turns me into a raging hypochondriac. who knew? So now I live in denial that anything is wrong with me and hope I’m not proven wrong.

    I think your list of accomplishments is amazing! I would be scared to death to hold someone’s life in my hands, which is partly why I’m no longer a social worker. The responsiblity and pressure was making my hair fall out (literally). A client asked me if I had alopeica.

    So…..I have this mole…..hahaha!
    Delilah recently posted..Highlighting the Awesome: Part 1My Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Ha! Let’s remember there is another part to this story. I did quit because I realized it was not my heart’s desire. I’ll be getting to that story in a bit. Social work is HARD. I was always happy to hand over those reins. Ellen

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  19. erin margolin

    You are amazing and brilliant and I’m so glad I’ve stumbled upon this via the yeah write link up!

    And I’ve got news for you: you have a blog. you write on the blog. Therefore, you are a blogger. One more awesome title/accomplishment to add to your lengthy list!

    😉

    visiting from yeah write
    erin margolin recently posted..Fast CarMy Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      I am blushing. You are so nice. I’m going to go out and tell someone I’m a blogger today! Unfortunately, my next human interaction will be with the grocery store cashier. She is in for a treat. 🙂 Ellen

      P.S.- Glad you jumped on the Yeah Write party bus!

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    2. The Sisterhood Post author

      Ooo, that is exciting. Makes me feel less like a freak that others quit to become SAHMs. Sounds like she probably practiced for some time, though. Ellen

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  24. heidi

    You are awesome. I want you to be my doctor. 🙂
    And, hell yeah, you’re a writer/blogger! I don’t know what it is, but ‘writer’ gets stuck in our throats sometimes. You are a writer. A great one.
    heidi recently posted..uptightMy Profile

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  26. Kim @The G is Silent

    Holy wow, Ellen!! If I had known that last week I would have never given my mom a second listen when she decided my rash was typhus. I would have just tweeted a picture and you would have said sensitive skin and anxiety. Take more klonopin.

    The end.

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      You just made me snort. I have a confession, I’m lousy (aren’t I punny?) at rashes. So no one has to tweet me any pictures. Of anything. Just saying. 🙂 Ellen

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  28. Kerstin

    Ellen, I am blown away. By your writing, knowledge, coolness… – just the whole package.

    Also, I hereby declare the comment you left on my blog my most favourite one in the whole wide world ever!

    After I became a life coach, I went through the schooling to become a psychotherapist and stopped just short of the actual test to become an MD psych – we were getting ready to move to Canada and I knew my training would not be recognized here, so I did not see the sense in it.
    There was a lot of medical training in there, because every mental illness can have physical symptoms… To make a long story short – I hate WebMD. But I would not hesitate to trust what you have to say!
    Kerstin recently posted..Dabble no moreMy Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      That was really a joke. I never heard of anyone EVER pushing it in too far. That is why they insufflate the abdominal cavity with gas, to put some room in there to operate.

      Good luck with your surgery. Ellen

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  30. Tricia

    Love this post! On too many occasions, I have (I’m sad to admit) turned to WebMD. But I have (finally!) learned to take their diagnoses with grains of salt. Good for you, mom-doctor-blogger! (And yes, you most definitely deserve each of those titles!)
    Tricia recently posted..The cure (a weekend recap)My Profile

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  32. Amber

    I crown thee Blogger…in case my opinion matters. But holy crap, this post has only confirmed what I’ve always known. There’s no way I could be a doctor. Still silently retching over the nerve block…
    Amber recently posted..Yeah Write!My Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Maybe I should put a warning at the top? Have trashcan ready? I am making myself a crown right now to go with my fictional tattoo. I also have problems calling myself a runner since I’ve never done a marathon. I’m starting to see a trend. 🙂 Ellen

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  33. Pish Posh

    I can’t believe your first spinal tap was on a baby. I feel nervous just thinking about this. Well Doc, as one Useful Doc to a NonUseful Doc (literature phd), I really really really uber super duper, want to know more about why you quit medicine, how you did it, and are you glad – because I want to quit academics, and it is a hard thing to do when you enmesh yourself in one world for 15 years, to walk out into the sunshine and enter a totally different world where you are unqualified to do anything, and don’t understand the rules and patterns.

    But yes I wish people would treat WebMD a little like Wikipedia, or at least that both would be approached with more caution, and instilled with more citation/authorship!! WebMD condones and encourages hypochondriacs.
    Pish Posh recently posted..Josy and the Bed JumpersMy Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      I am going to write that story, but I am doing some super duper soul searching first because I want to tell it with honesty. But here is a teaser, I am glad. With that being said, I am facing an empty nest in about 7 years and will need something to occupy my time, preferably with a paycheck. I could not be a practicing doctor without redoing residency and I just don’t have it in me. And truth be told, I don’t want to, either. Unfortunately, I’m not really qualified to do anything else, as you said.

      You cracked me up with the NonUsefulDoc. Art makes the world go round with style and joy. Never forget that.

      And let’s take up the battle cry: “Check your sources!” You are on the front lines with fresh eager minds. I’m counting on you.

      Ellen

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  34. Jennifer - treading water in the kiddie pool

    I was just thinking back to when I wrote The Snotty Schnoz and you left a comment asking if I had taken him to an ENT and I remember thinking “that was an unusual response from a layperson.”. And now I totally know why! You’re not a layperson.
    Jennifer – treading water in the kiddie pool recently posted..So Many Good-byesMy Profile

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  37. Lisa Nolan

    Great post, I had no idea about WebMD! I’ve probably been to their site at least once! I think now, more than ever, we have to be very careful when turning to the Internet for professional advice! You just don’t know the website or blog’s credentials! Thanks for the reminder!
    Lisa Nolan recently posted..Fairy GodmotherMy Profile

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  38. Kristin

    My son had a spinal tap at seven weeks. It was horrible. Horrible. And I let them do it even though I *knew* it was unnecessary. I’m not a fan of the “rules” regarding the medical establishment, yet I still follow them. Baaaa!
    Kristin recently posted..Kickstarting and ConversatingMy Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      If it makes you feel any better, I can feel all big and bad about directing care for myself, but when it comes to my kids, I can’t seem to refuse anything if there is a remote possibility that it is needed. Case in point, my daughter was being followed for scoliosis by the nurse practitioner. I don’t even know how we got in with her because we usually see the pediatrician. It was something like “Oh you have an earache, let me measure the curvature of your spine.” I knew she was not using the scoilometer correctly, yet I dragged her in for 3 follow-up appointments to the tune of a $30 copay each.

      At the third appointment, the nurse looks at me solemnly and says, “It’s time to see a specialist.” Really?? I’m like fine, just make this end. Cutting to the chase, we actually caused the orthopedic surgeon to chuckle. My daughter was the definition of a straight spine. We did get a cool party favor from it, though. The doc was able to give us her probable end height based on her growth plates.

      Rule followers unite!

      Ellen

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  40. Ado

    Ok, first of all: “There is nothing you can’t get out of yourself.” I LOVE THAT. REally? Wow!
    Secondly: You ARE my WebMD. My go-to girl for medical advice.
    PS: I love what you said about not trusting Web MD b/c you can never be sure of the source.
    Ado recently posted..Swanky Country Clubs Make Me Want XanaxMy Profile

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  42. Jay- The Dude of the House

    I’d read in your bio a while back that you are an MD and was hoping you’d expound on it. Thanks for the insight.

    Also, WebMD is great for scaring the sh#$ out of people, (much like “What to Expect When you are Expecting does for pregnant people). That’s why I’m lucky to have a couple MD friends I can call if there’s a serious question.
    Jay- The Dude of the House recently posted..What to Expect When You See a Movie About PregnancyMy Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Someone actually read my bio! Smiles. You know what was my favorite thing in “What to Expect”? The page on how to proceed with an emergent birth when no medical help was available. Good times. Ellen

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  49. Debbie L.

    I was encouraged to visit your site from Ashley at The Dose of Reality…..loved your blog entry here! My son is currently in his 2nd year of medical school, and he has already shared some very funny things. Having been around doctors most of my adult life (I was an OB/Gyn nurse!), I can relate to your many funny or not-so-funny experiences. And by the way, you are a blogger! 🙂

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Thanks, Debbie, I keep telling Ellen that!! I bet you and Ellen could have quite an interesting coffee talk with some of your OB stories. thanks for stopping by. Erin

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  52. Toulouse

    I am super stoked to find out a fellow blogger has medical expertise. You were one of the only experts I was missing in my efforts to never leave my house. I’ll be emailing you.
    Also, do you think you could help me with some financial planning as well? Sounds like you’re very good at that. ; )
    Toulouse recently posted..10 Rules for Meals (by a kindergartner).My Profile

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