Despite the fact that Sean Connery was always trying to distance himself from the role that made him famous, the WORLD is crazy about Bond. So crazy in fact that the 50th anniversary of the release of Doctor No—the world’s first introduction to the cinematic Bond (the literary Bond had already been around for a decade)— warrants mass merry-making on the web and in the real world.
We are super-happy to make our list of 10 Things Bond, because it’s like having a little Hollywood party of our own. Our husbands are true Bond fans and, to be honest, they practically wrote this list for us. Although Steve and Frank rattled off Bond trivia like Aston Martin Headlight Machine Guns, both agreed that Bond IS his classic one-liners. After this list, we are true believers in the value of their fan-dom.
Connery claimed that if you removed all of Bond’s “exotic touches” all you had was a “dull, prosaic gentleman.” Why are you hating on your gravy train, Sean? We disagree, Sir Bond Basher! Have you seen Daniel Craig? Bond is sexy, funny, naughty, naughty, naughty. And punny.
Ten Bond Zingers
1. Poor Ian Fleming died of a heart attack a month before Goldfinger was released, so he didn’t get to see his baby on the big screen. We realize that Bond himself did not deliver this line, but it is such a classic that it has to be included. Strapped to a table with a laser perilously closing in, Bond stalls for time, and Goldfinger delivers the iconic retort.
Bond: “Do you expect me to talk?”
Goldfinger: “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.”
2. So much of what makes a Bond one-liner great is that which goes unspoken. Connery’s facial expression during this scene is just as priceless as the banter with the well-endowed Plenty O’Toole.
Plenty: “Hi, I’m plenty.”
Bond: “Of course, you are.”
Plenty: “Plenty O’Toole.”
Bond: “Named after your father perhaps.”
3. Goldfinger was a darn good Bond film. This moment between Honor Blackman and Sean Connery is one of the most classic in the land of Bond-dom. Bond has been drugged by Goldfinger and is emerging from his narcoleptic fog when he sees the lovely Miss Blackman.
Bond: “Well, who are you?”
Pussy: “My name is Pussy Galore.”
Bond: “I must be dreaming.”
4. Poor George Lazenby only got to suit up as 007 once in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, but he did get to deliver this classic one-liner. As Bond and his wife Tracy (Surprise! Bond was married! No worries. Only true Bond Dorks know this stuff) were escaping from Blofeld’s henchmen on the slopes, one of the nameless henchmen falls into the snowblower blades and gets fricasseed. As the snowblower sprays his remnants over the landscape, Bond delivers this line.
Bond: “He had lots of guts.”
5. In the final moments of The Spy Who Loved Me, Roger Moore as Bond shares a “moment” with a beautiful Russian spy in an underwater escape pod. The Minister of Defense intrudes upon this intimate moment and Bond gets to deliver this line. That’s one fine way to end a movie.
Defense Minister: “Bond, what are you doing?”
Bond: “Keeping the British end up, sir.”
6. Dr. No is the first Bond film, and it started the craze for all things Bond. This classic car chase scene is one reason. In this scene, Bond is en route to Miss Taro following her invitation when he is ambushed by the Three Blind Mice. Bond’s stellar driving skills are on display as he expertly weaves his way through the Alps and then cruises his Sunbeam Alpine under a construction vehicle as his pursuers plummet to their death. (Girl note here: Recognize this car? Same one Grace Kelly drove in To Catch a Thief. Poor Cary Grant never saw her coming.) The fact that this car chase ends with a classic one-liner takes it to another level.
Construction worker: “Where do you think they were headed?”
Bond: “I think they were on their way to a funeral.”
7. Goldfinger is infinitely quotable. As Bond gets cozy with an agent trying to seduce him, a henchman tries to take him out. Bond pushes him into the full tub. As the henchman reaches for his gun, Bond throws a heating element into the tub and electrocutes him, then delivers this line. Note: Only Bond can make this stuff cool. Do not try this at home.
Bond: “Shocking, positively shocking.”
8. Ursula Andress in the famous “emerging from the water” scene is another reason Dr.No sparked world-wide Bond mania. It also provided a great chance for Bond to deliver another classic.
Ursula: “What are you doing here? Looking for shells?”
Bond: “I’m just looking.”
9. There are certain things true Bond fans know—the names of all his enemies, the cars he drove in all the movies, the Bond Girls—and then there is the stuff the rest of us know. One thing we all know is how Bond takes his favorite drink, the martini. “Shaken, not stirred.” Check out all the different Bonds ordering their favorite drink.
10. In the end, the most classic line, the line that everyone knows, remembers, and tries to duplicate with the same amount of effortless cool is Bond’s introduction itself: “Bond, James Bond.” When Sean Connery delivered this line first in Dr. No, a million fans, a movie franchise, and a style icon was born.
Want some more One-Liners? We have a category for that. Check out our Snorts!
Thanks once again to Stasha for her own brand of effortless cool. In honor of Bond, we might even dub them Her Majesty’s Monday Listicles, but no matter what you call them, they are a great place to read great writers and check out some fun lists.
And thanks to Anja from Cocalores who gave us our topic this week. She has a great blog about crafts, travel, and life. Check her out. Bond fans have to stick together.
—Erin and Ellen
Who do you think portrayed Bond best??