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Bond has the Best One-Liners

Despite the fact that Sean Connery was always trying to distance himself from the role that made him famous, the WORLD is crazy about Bond. So crazy in fact that the 50th anniversary of the release of Doctor No—the world’s first introduction to the cinematic Bond (the literary Bond had already been around for a decade)— warrants mass merry-making on the web and in the real world.

Ellen and Frank saw Skyfall on opening night. If you were so inclined to give Frank the title of “Biggest Fan”, he wouldn’t refuse it.

We are super-happy to make our list of 10 Things Bond, because it’s like having a little Hollywood party of our own. Our husbands are true Bond fans and, to be honest, they practically wrote this list for us. Although Steve and Frank rattled off Bond trivia like Aston Martin Headlight Machine Guns, both agreed that Bond IS his classic one-liners. After this list, we are true believers in the value of  their fan-dom.

Connery claimed that if you removed all of Bond’s “exotic touches” all you had was a “dull, prosaic gentleman.” Why are you hating on your gravy train, Sean? We disagree, Sir Bond Basher! Have you seen Daniel Craig? Bond is sexy, funny, naughty, naughty, naughty. And punny.

Ten Bond Zingers

1. Poor Ian Fleming died of a heart attack a month before Goldfinger was released, so he didn’t get to see his baby on the big screen. We realize that Bond himself did not deliver this line, but it is such a classic that it has to be included. Strapped to a table with a laser perilously closing in, Bond stalls for time, and Goldfinger delivers the iconic retort.

Bond: “Do you expect me to talk?”

Goldfinger: “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.”

2. So much of what makes a Bond one-liner great is that which goes unspoken. Connery’s facial expression during this scene is just as priceless as the banter with the well-endowed Plenty O’Toole.

Plenty: “Hi, I’m plenty.”

Bond: “Of course, you are.”

Plenty: “Plenty O’Toole.”

Bond: “Named after your father perhaps.”

3. Goldfinger was a darn good Bond film. This moment between Honor Blackman and Sean Connery is one of the most classic in the land of Bond-dom. Bond has been drugged by Goldfinger and is emerging from his narcoleptic fog when he sees the lovely Miss Blackman.

Bond: “Well, who are you?”

Pussy: “My name is Pussy Galore.”

Bond: “I must be dreaming.”

4. Poor George Lazenby only got to  suit up as 007 once in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, but he did get to deliver this classic one-liner. As Bond and   his wife Tracy (Surprise! Bond was married! No worries. Only true Bond Dorks know this stuff) were escaping from Blofeld’s henchmen on the slopes, one of the nameless henchmen falls into the snowblower blades and gets fricasseed. As the snowblower sprays his remnants over the landscape, Bond delivers this line.

Bond: “He had lots of guts.”

5. In the final moments of The Spy Who Loved Me, Roger Moore as Bond shares a “moment” with a beautiful Russian spy in an underwater escape pod. The Minister of Defense intrudes upon this intimate moment and Bond gets to deliver this line. That’s one fine way to end a movie.

Defense Minister: “Bond, what are you doing?”

Bond: “Keeping the British end up, sir.”

6. Dr. No is the first Bond film, and it started the craze for all things Bond. This classic car chase scene is one reason. In this scene, Bond is en route to Miss Taro following her invitation when he is ambushed by the Three Blind Mice. Bond’s stellar driving skills are on display as he expertly weaves his way through the Alps and then cruises his Sunbeam Alpine under a construction vehicle as his pursuers plummet to their death. (Girl note here: Recognize this car? Same one Grace Kelly drove in To Catch a Thief. Poor Cary Grant never saw her coming.) The fact that this car chase ends with a classic one-liner takes it to another level.

Construction worker: “Where do you think they were headed?”

Bond: “I think they were on their way to a funeral.”

7. Goldfinger is infinitely quotable. As Bond gets cozy with an agent trying to seduce him, a henchman tries to take him out. Bond pushes him into the full tub. As the henchman reaches for his gun, Bond throws a heating element into the tub and electrocutes him, then delivers this line. Note: Only Bond can make this stuff cool. Do not try this at home.

Bond: “Shocking, positively shocking.”

8. Ursula Andress in the famous “emerging from the water” scene is another reason Dr.No sparked world-wide Bond mania. It also provided a great chance for Bond to deliver another classic.

Ursula: “What are you doing here? Looking for shells?”

Bond: “I’m just looking.”

9. There are certain things true Bond fans know—the names of all his enemies, the cars he drove in all the movies, the Bond Girls—and then there is the stuff the rest of us know. One thing we all know is how Bond takes his favorite drink, the martini. “Shaken, not stirred.” Check out all the different Bonds ordering their favorite drink.

10. In the end, the most classic line, the line that everyone knows, remembers, and tries to duplicate with the same amount of effortless cool is Bond’s introduction itself: “Bond, James Bond.” When Sean Connery delivered this line first in Dr. No, a million fans, a movie franchise, and a style icon was born.

Want some more One-Liners? We have a category for that. Check out our Snorts!

Thanks once again to Stasha for her own brand of effortless cool. In honor of Bond, we might even dub them Her Majesty’s Monday Listicles, but no matter what you call them, they are a great place to read great writers and check out some fun lists.

And thanks to Anja from Cocalores who gave us our topic this week. She has a great blog about crafts, travel, and life. Check her out. Bond fans have to stick together.

Erin and Ellen

Who do you think portrayed Bond best??

 

 

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By Ellen Williams Erin Dymowski

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48 Responses to “Bond has the Best One-Liners”

  1. Ginger Kay
    November 11, 2012 at 9:38 am #

    I am old school. Sean Connery is the only James Bond for me.
    Ginger Kay recently posted..I wish Disney had bought Lucasfilm years ago.My Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 11, 2012 at 10:32 am #

      yep. He’s the man and the bar to which we measure all Bonds. Daniel Craig is measuring up pretty well in my book. Erin

  2. Stacie @ Snaps and Bits
    November 11, 2012 at 10:03 am #

    I’m kind of liking Daniel Craig as Bond. This was a really fun trip down memory lane – such good one-liners!
    Stacie @ Snaps and Bits recently posted..One Singular SensationMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 11, 2012 at 11:48 am #

      I swear, I love reading over this post. :) Ellen

  3. Alison
    November 11, 2012 at 10:06 am #

    “He had lots of guts.” positively made my week.

    Connery – the best Bond. Ever. The man is as smooth as chocolate mousse.
    Alison recently posted..A Tale of Two Americans. Okay, Many AmericansMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 11, 2012 at 10:30 am #

      Couldn’t agree more. Connery was awesome. Do love me some Daniel Craig though. Oh, to be Rachel Weiss. Erin

  4. Grown and Flown
    November 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm #

    Loved this Ladies, really excellent. And I love your Memes!
    Grown and Flown recently posted..Stages of Grief: Storm EditionMy Profile

  5. deborah l quinn
    November 11, 2012 at 10:21 pm #

    Hmm. I have to say that I read more James Bond books than I’ve actually seen – and reading James Bond books as a 13 year old girl is NOT a good idea. Sort of ruined the species of adolescent boy…not one of them could hold a candle to the dude from Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Love your list and, yes, love Daniel Craig too. Have you seen this delicacy, released a few years back? http://mannahattamamma.com/2009/06/this-aint-yo-mammas-popsicle/
    deborah l quinn recently posted..Piano PracticeMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 6:42 am #

      Oh, my! That’s ridiculously “cool”. What on earth was Del Monte thinking?? Erin

  6. Runnermom-jen
    November 11, 2012 at 10:57 pm #

    I did not know he was married!!! I love his one-liners and I also love Daniel Craig…he is so SO good-looking. :)
    Runnermom-jen recently posted..Sunsets and Souls…My Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 6:42 am #

      I know, right? I love my little Bond dork. Seriously, we had the best time making this list together. Erin

  7. Anna
    November 11, 2012 at 11:03 pm #

    Love this list! Sean Connery is my favorite Bond, Dr No my favorite movie. I can’t decide about the new one yet, a blond playing James Bond just does not seem right to me….anyway, awesome quotes and movie trivia – very fun list!
    Anna recently posted..Yoga For Beginners – Reviews and RecommendationsMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 6:41 am #

      Oh, give Craig a chance. Really. One of the things that made Connery so lethal in the role was his suave debonair attitude tempered by some raw masculinity—Craig has that same combo. He really does deserve a look. Ellen said the new movie is awesome. Erin

  8. Marie
    November 11, 2012 at 11:07 pm #

    You’ve actually made me want to check out a James Bond film–congratulations! I think the only one I’ve ever seen was a Roger Moore film, and maybe that was the problem. I thought it was kind of sexist at the time.

    But I love Sean Connery, so maybe I should try one of his.

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 6:39 am #

      Connery and Craig will make you a true believer. But I have always loved Pierce Brosnan since he was Remington Steele, so I enjoyed those films also. Erin

  9. Rorybore
    November 11, 2012 at 11:54 pm #

    The zingers definitely make the Bond film.

    My fave James Bond quote:
    The World is not Enough-
    Elektra: You wouldn’t kill me. You’d miss me.
    (Bond shoots Elektra)
    Bond: I never miss

    Besides that, the only rule I know about James Bond, is that we don’t talk about Roger Moore. So I am told.
    Rorybore recently posted..Monday Listicles: Mom, Just MomMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 6:38 am #

      Great quote! This list could have been a list of 20 easily. My husband said that Roger Moore just had the great misfortune of NOT being Sean Connery and then being forced to suit up as Bond so close on his heels. I think George Lazenby is the one nobody ever remembers. That being said I truly don’t think ANY of them have had the right mix of style and swagger as Connery until Craig—he is the Bond for the new millennium. Erin

  10. Karen @ Desert Chica Ramblings
    November 12, 2012 at 12:08 am #

    I am afraid I haven’t seen any Bond’s with Daniel Craig….And I do like action movies…(hanging my head in shame)1
    Karen @ Desert Chica Ramblings recently posted..One of these things is not like the others: 9 Facts and 1 Lie!My Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 6:46 am #

      You know that it’s not too late to rectify that. I see a fun date night in your future. Ellen loved the new film. Two thumbs up from her and Frank. Erin

  11. Stasha
    November 12, 2012 at 2:33 am #

    Love these!! Sean will forever be my favorite. What about you girls?
    Stasha recently posted..Monday ListiclesMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 6:49 am #

      I can’t speak for Ellen, but I love Sean Connery AND Daniel Craig. They are both real men’s men who can wear a suit well, look awesome driving a fab-o car, and make the one-liners sound kind of sexy rather than silly. Erin

  12. Jamie@SouthMainMuse
    November 12, 2012 at 5:01 am #

    Loved this. And my husband was supposed to help me with my James Bond list but he fell asleep. Ugh. Sean Connery did have the best lines. And love that image of Ursula Andress, she was the original Bond girl.
    Jamie@SouthMainMuse recently posted..10 Things About Me. (Or This Could Have Been a Really Funny Post About James Bond.)My Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 6:49 am #

      Ooh, get yours together today. We’ll still read it. I love that scene too. Erin

  13. Kim at Mama Mzungu
    November 12, 2012 at 6:07 am #

    You girls -or should I say women- really know your Bond! Speaking of girls, women and Bond… Did you see this Slate article about how Bond girls are becoming more and more equal partners than sexy distractions? http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/11/09/skyfall_and_the_end_of_the_bond_girl_she_s_a_bond_woman_now.html
    Kim at Mama Mzungu recently posted..Watching Obama Win in Kenya – Not What You ThinkMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 6:51 am #

      Thanks for the link, Kim. Love it. As for the Bond knowledge, we are nothing without our guys—they were a huge help in creating this list. We had the best time putting this list together. Erin

  14. Kim@Co-Pilot Mom
    November 12, 2012 at 6:58 am #

    I have only seen one Bond movie all the way through (A View to a Kill.) Still, I think Sean Connery comes to mind first when I think Bond – though I have nothing against the others.

    Love the one-liners! Such a fun list!
    Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..10 Fictional Facts About MeMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 7:17 am #

      Yep, Connery IS Bond. But the franchise as a whole has been pretty good at rekindling the magic that is Bond too. Erin

  15. thedoseofreality
    November 12, 2012 at 7:26 am #

    I feel like you just can’t beat Sean Connery as Bond. I mean, truly, he embodies everything cool about the character. Great post! :)
    thedoseofreality recently posted..Don’t Dog Sit If You Want To Be a Brain SurgeonMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 9:30 am #

      Couldn’t agree more about Connery. Although Daniel Craig has been a nice reboot to the whole brand. Erin

  16. Wayne
    November 12, 2012 at 8:19 am #

    Thanks for doing Bond list. I didn’t want to be the only one…
    Wayne recently posted..Monday QuizMy Profile

  17. Anja
    November 12, 2012 at 11:29 am #

    Great list! See, that’s what I was envisioning when I suggested the topic – plus, the cool videos you found were really entertaining! Thanks for lighting up my dull Monday! =)
    Anja recently posted..Ten Reasons To Love James BondMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 5:42 pm #

      We loved this list. Great topic! You are more than welcome. Thanks for giving us a chance to write a fun post together with our husbands! Erin

  18. hollow tree ventures
    November 12, 2012 at 11:58 am #

    Um, Daniel Craig? Yum. Loved these one-liners – I was pleasantly surprised that I remembered them all (though my husband would’ve had to write the entire post for me). :)
    hollow tree ventures recently posted..As The Dollhouse Turns – OuttakesMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 5:43 pm #

      I felt the exact same way when I was talking to Steve. I knew every one, but I could never have come up with some of them off the top of my head. Erin

  19. christine
    November 12, 2012 at 1:29 pm #

    That is an awesome post, and I have never even seen a Bond movie. Funny how Bond is such a part of our culture. Even without seeing them, I know how to say his name with the Connery coolness, and I know that a martini is always shaken, not stirred. Between you and Wayne, I may just have to have a Bond marathon one weekend.
    christine recently posted..Monday Listicles – Secret AgentMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 5:44 pm #

      Rectify that immediately. You MUST see at least one. Put it on a bucket list or something. Erin

  20. Roshni
    November 12, 2012 at 1:53 pm #

    I absolutely love the Bond movies!! Sean Connery is my favorite and I also have a soft corner for Pierce Brosnan!! Thanks for the list and the videos!! :)
    Roshni recently posted..Hero worshipMy Profile

    • The Sisterhood
      November 12, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

      Oh, Remington Steele was always such a cutie!! We love him too. Erin

  21. Diane
    November 12, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    My husband is a die-hard Sean Connery fan. Me…I gravitate towards Pierce Brosnan. *sigh* Ever since Remington Steele…I knew he would make a good Bond. :)
    Diane recently posted..10 "Fictional" Facts #Monday ListiclesMy Profile

  22. Ducky
    November 12, 2012 at 9:10 pm #

    So many awesome quotes…so many spastic character names and yet I haven’t seen even one movie from start to finish. I just might be UnAmerican.
    Ducky recently posted..A Beaver, PogoStick and Farting GlitterMy Profile

  23. Julia Gibson
    November 12, 2012 at 10:20 pm #

    This was great! Loved the list! I did the fictional one… so far no one has come up with the truth. LOL

    Julia
    http://www.momontherunx2.net
    Julia Gibson recently posted..Monday Listicles: Ten Myths About Me… Or Are They?My Profile

  24. Lisa C
    November 13, 2012 at 1:22 am #

    Well done! I have to say, I’m a Connery fan, thought Brosnan did pretty well too.
    Lisa C recently posted..List #51: 10 LIES ABOUT MEMy Profile

  25. Bridget
    November 13, 2012 at 1:25 am #

    I love that “Shaken Not Stirred” montage!
    Bridget recently posted..One, Two, Buckle My ShoeMy Profile

  26. Gina
    November 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm #

    I think Daniel Craig makes the hottest Bond. My favorite clip was the montage of “Shaken Not Stirred” best quotes…Pussy Galore! Classic. Thanks for the fun today!
    Gina recently posted..Am I a Good Liar? Which One is True?My Profile

  27. Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point
    November 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm #

    Roger Moore was my first introduction to Bond as a kid so I always have a soft spot for him even thought he’s probably the most cheese-ball at of all of them. Sean Connery of course is great and I think Daniel Craig is outstanding. However the worst by far was Timothy Dalton.
    Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point recently posted..Point Counter-Break Break RoomMy Profile

  28. Althea Young
    November 14, 2012 at 11:39 pm #

    Bond generations got good looks no matter what.
    Still the best….
    Althea Young recently posted..Visit the Allkind Joinery Brisbane Showroom for Renovation InspirationMy Profile

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