Ellen is working towards the completion of her new pool and it is consuming her life. On the upside of Nirvana, it is a beautiful thing because it’s already bringing rollicking good times like this . . .
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, it is also one more thing to take care with the vacuuming, the scrubbing, and the mad scientist mixing of chemicals. It also causes extra messes– toys strewn across the lawn like plastic landmines and mountains of wet towels posing as mildew starter farms. Hmmm, suddenly Ellen’s yard is sounding more like a chlorinated Vietnam than a swimming wonderland. But that is not what is bringing her down because she signed up for all of that. And she REALLY likes geeking out playing mad chemist.
Here’s the problem. Apparently the Mid-Atlantic climate decided to get its Starbucks on and emulate the Pacific Northwest without sending us the proper notification. We have had the coldest, wettest spring. So the pool that was supposed to be dug in April, did not get excavated until June. And the rain continues. That means the pool deck was completed in stages days apart. At one point, the only things missing were broken glass and dirty syringes to complete the “Ghetto Chic” appeal.
Things have gotten safer because the concrete surround has been finished. No need to call child protective services or OSHA, but you could ring up NOAA and tell them to just shoot up a satellite or ray gun or something to make this rain stop.
The whole patio is still not done and since it rains every 15 seconds, Ellen is left with 30,000 gallons of watery delight surrounded by a mire pit of suckity muck.
While Ellen probably should just embrace the situation and host mud wrestling matches to pay for the patio furniture, she just can’t because she is too busy vacuuming nasty red clay grit out of the pool and her house. She is by no means a neat freak, but this is construction grit and it has the potential to damage the pool and her hardwood floors. So she vacuums land and sea. Fun.
Erin is a friend with a heart of gold and more importantly, not one to let something as trivial as a La Brea-esque mud pit stand between her and aquatic fun. She was a synchronized swimmer for goodness sake (although we have yet to see the photographic evidence). What she is NOT is crafty. Here was her solution . . .
So apparently the solution for dirtiness is grossness? Since people won’t stop getting in the pool now that the menacing Spikes of Tetanus are gone, Ellen got busy making a truly useful foot washing station.
For feet that look like this . . .
Use the fantastic foot washing station . . .
And voilà . . .
How did Ellen come up with this brilliance? She saw it on Pinterest of course. However the pin led to a dead end. Don’t you hate that Pintershit? Ellen is going to fix the interwebs and dirty feet by making her own directions. Pin that!
Sensible Moms Foot Washing Station
- Move to Mayberry so you can find a tractor supply or feed store. The pan Ellen used was a Fortiflex Salt Block Pan. Livestock need salt and you need a pan to put it in. This $8 tray has a funneled bottom with drainage holes perfect for this application. Mayberry has its perks. Don’t fret if you’re a city slicker because we found it on the ever amazing Amazon for you, just click the link. Or we guess you could go to a fancy pants Target and get a shallow pan or tray and just drill holes in the bottom, but we’re telling you, the salt pan is sturdy. A cow can stand on it. Beat that Target.
- Fill half way with pea gravel. This provides the cushion so you can actually stand on this marvelous contraption.
- Finish off with a layer of river stones found in the floral supply section of craft stores or Walmart. You can also find them on Amazon. (Couldn’t find them in Target, just sayin’.) Theses stones feel good on your feet and warm up in the sun. If you think they are too fancy, just go with the pea gravel.
- Make sure you put this on a grassy spot because the water runs through it and will make MORE mud. If you have kids under 6, you probably should just put it on a deck or driveway because they cannot dismount without getting more shizz on their feet.
Happy Water Fun!
This post contains Amazon affiliate links.
-Ellen and Erin
Check out our books, please, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”
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