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Laundry Survival Tips for Your College Student (and You)

Laundry Survival Tips For Your College Student and You! It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing! | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

First and foremost: THEY CAN DO THEIR OWN EVER-LOVING LAUNDRY!

Ellen: In a very few short weeks my daughter is traveling 1,147 miles away to college. In related news, I may personally make headlines if one more person asks me: “Wow, that’s far. Are you going to miss her?”

While that makes me want to kick a kitten, there is a dumbfounding twist to this irritating conversation that makes my jaw drop. They will say to my daughter: “Well that’s too far away for your mom to do your laundry. What are you going to do?”

“Um, do it myself,” she replies speaking veeeerrrry slooooowly. My high school sophomore daughter generally just stares in disbelief.

One woman of a soon-to-be college freshman even went so far as to tell us, “I told my son if he is coming home every weekend to see his girlfriend, she needs to do his laundry.”

My high school daughter (once again staring in disbelief) replied, “Or he can maybe do it himself?” To her credit, she saved, “Well, isn’t THAT a lucky girl?” for when we were back in the car.

At a party, the subject of laundry came up yet again (really), and a woman looked at me like I was Hermione Granger incarnate and breathed, “But HOW do you get them to do it?”

My high school daughter jumped in with, “Well, when we were too short to reach the buttons, she bought us a step stool.”

The woman may have lost some of her awe as she mentally lumped me in with the orphanage supervisor from Annie, but it’s whatever because this woman (me! it’s me!) is not her family’s laundress.

Erin: But it’s not only about how it benefits you, the parent, it’s about how it benefits your kid. While Ellen is getting an inkling of the laundry ineptitude at college, I KNOW about the lack of skills. My son was the hero of his freshman floor because he knew how to work a laundry machine and what products to use in it. He made lots of friends and he should have gotten a thank you note or two from some parents.

So to recap thus far:

If your precious is smart enough to attend college, they can work a washing machine.
It is not Quantum Physics. (See number one.)
Girlfriends are not for laundry. (Neither are mothers.)
Laundry skills = instant popularity.

Even if your kid has never lifted a stain stick, it’s not too late! Don’t let them learn about it on the streets . . . er, on the freshman hall. Bonus: they probably won’t even need a step stool. Here’s a laundry checklist/tutorial/pure genius to share with them.

Syllabus for College Laundry 101 |It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing! | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Syllabus for College Laundry 101

Supplies:

Laundry bags, hampers, and/or baskets (Basically, containment for the filth.)
Zippered mesh washing bags (Sometimes called lingerie or delicates bags.)
Detergent pods
Stain stick
Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus
Dryer fabric softener sheets
Optional: Drying rack (Over-the-door models are great space savers.)
Optional: color catching sheets

The Basics

It’s all about the sorting.

Darks get washed with darks and lights get washed with lights. Don’t be the cliché who turns their underwear pink with a red sock; it’s sad.

Either have two separate hampers (the preferred method) and sort as you take the clothes off or sort at the machine. Have a bunch of mesh washing bags near your hamper(s) for things you don’t want to go in the dryer like bras, the tissue paper that passes for Forever 21 clothing, and sports jerseys. Put these items in the zippered bags AS SOON AS YOU TAKE THEM OFF to avoid mishaps.

Also, treat stains with your stain stick before you put them in your hamper. Chances are pretty good you won’t remember about that ketchup blob on laundry day. But take note of this: nothing sets a stain like a spin in the dryer.

It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing! | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

What to do with an item that is both light and dark? Most likely wash it with darks because then it becomes all about the water temperature (see below). There are also color catching sheets you can add to your load to “grab” any dye that bleeds.

Besides color, there is another consideration: texture and weight. For example, jeans are best washed in a load by themselves. Think about denim grating against your t-shirt for 40 minutes. It might not have a good outcome. If you have more than one towel, you may want to consider washing them by themselves. A couple of towels bunched up in a load can throw a washing machine off-balance, but this is not as big of a deal in a commercial machine.

One important note: don’t tightly stuff the tub with your clothes. They need room to agitate.

This is a good time to brush up on your reading.

Hey, when confusion sets in, read the label! It’s jammed packed with all sorts of information like what wash temperature to use and whether you should hand wash it. There’s a chart available here to help you crack the code of those symbols.

One caveat, cheaper clothes are often labeled “hand wash.” We often get away with washing them in mesh bags in the machine on a cold water setting. It’s all about the risk. If you would be devastated that your favorite shirt got ruined, hand wash it. If it was SUPER expensive and/or made of wool or silk and it’s labeled “hand wash,” you should heed the instructions. Buuuuutttttt, if it was a twelve dollar shirt that you probably won’t wear past one season anyway, it’s up to you to see what you can get away with.

It’s also about the temperature.

If you want to keep it simple starting out, wash everything in cold. But remember darks should always be washed in cold water. If you are feeling a little braver, lights can be washed in warm with a cold water rinse. Towels, sheets, and your gross light colored gym socks and basic underwear can be washed in hot if the labels say it’s okay.

SO many buttons.

The good news is that commercial washers are pretty straightforward and generally have instructions printed on them. Home washers tend to try to be fancier and more confusing, but all you have to do is Google the model to find the instruction manual.

In general, the “Normal/Cotton” cycle has a high agitation level good for dirtier clothes, “Permanent Press” is a warm wash followed by a cold rinse, and “Delicates” has the least rambunctious agitation and spin cycle.

Don’t forget the detergent.

Detergent pods are the best thing to happen to college students since their acceptance letters. No more schlepping heavy detergent bottles around. One note: the pods go in the bottom of the washer before you put your clothes in, not in the soap dispenser.

It’s dry time!

Back to that pesky label reading thing. Drying instructions should always be heeded. If a tag indicates an item should not go in the dryer, IT SHOULD NOT GO IN THE DRYER. For those things that can go in the dryer, throw in a fabric softener sheet and set the machine for the recommended temperature.

A good life practice is to fold/hang clothes as they come out of the dryer. For those of you snorting over this suggestion, see the next step.

Ironing.

Hahahahahahahaha! More jokes! Ironing barely happens in our own homes.

It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing!! | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Here’s Ellen’s situation.

Here’s what the ironing organizer is really used for on the daily.

Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus | It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing!! | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Which leads us to our next step . . .

Wrinkle releasing.

Here’s assuming your clean laundry is in a wrinkled heap in your basket. (We tend to be realists.) You can A) seek out the kid whose delusional mom actually thought she would use an iron or B) whip out your Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus. Just spray, tug, smooth, and hang and you’re good to go (remember to allow for a very wee bit of time for drying).

Laundry denial.

So you let your dirty clothes pile up under your bed, in your closet, or beneath your sleeping head? Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus can fix that too. Spray it, spray it real good, to eliminate the odor and ensure peaceful cohabitation with your roommate. (You can even spritz their piles if they are the offenders.)

Laundry karma.

Listen closely to this one. Never, EVER, pull a person’s clean laundry out of the washer and dump it onto the floor. You do NOT need to send that kind of bad juju out into the universe to bite you in the butt when you least expect it.

ONE LAST TIP!

It’s not an urban legend that a majority of students do NOT change their sheets. It’s a joke because people are laughing through the tears . . . because the funky sheets are making their eyes water. While we firmly believe kids should do their own laundry, we acknowledge that parents might have to do this trick at move-in.

Put down the cushy mattress topper.
Cover with a mattress protector.
Put on a fitted sheet.
Layer on ANOTHER mattress protector.
Top with ANOTHER fitted sheet.
Make bed up with the flat sheet, blanket, and comforter.
Artfully arrange pillows.
Take a picture because it might never look this way again.

So the thought is, that after a week or fifteen, your student can just peel off the top sheets and mattress protector and have a fresh bed. Of course this isn’t foolproof because your precious still has to tuck in a clean top sheet and change the pillowcase, but it’s worth a try. You probably should recommend frequent spritzes with Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus just to be safe.

One last picture because we’re ironic like this. Okay, we know it’s not irony, but we at least qualify for punny. Right!?

Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus | It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing!| Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

While we were compensated by Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus for this post, all love for this product and hard-won advice about college laundry are all our own.

Get your coupon for Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus here!

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GREAT laundry survival tips for your college student (and you)!

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Why This Mom is on Snapchat

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Well, I guess the number one reason I’m on Snapchat is rooted deeply in my psyche. I always wanted to be a dragon for Halloween and because of gender bias stereotypes in the 1970s I was coerced into being a princess year after year instead. With Snapchat filters, I can realize my dream while parked in my driveway—no glue gun or sewing skills required.

Just kidding. I always got to pick my costumes. I’m on Snapchat because I have teenagers—and not for the reasons that may immediately come to mind like monitoring their activity and just plain understanding what they’re up to on their phones. Articles about managing your children’s social media have been written. Heck, we’ve written one.

No, this is more of a “if you can’t beat them, join them” sort of thing . . . or maybe it’s more like a “beat them at their own game” deal. Either way, I sound uber-competitive and that was not my intent. My point is that I’m on there to interact with them through their preferred mode of communication. My theory is that if I make it easy for them, I am going to get more frequent interfaces with them. I bet your grandma loves letters, but when was the last time you sent one? Hmmm?

This grooming them to share their day with you may seem trivial when you can just get the recap around the dinner table or on the way to lacrosse practice. It can cause a mild panic attack when it hits you that you are sending your babies away to college.

This has nothing to do with “helicoptering” either. It’s just that some of my favorite people in the world are the ones I created and I like to see their fun and joy. Just because they have the freedom to spread their wings and leave the nest doesn’t mean we have to be incommunicado. That’s not how family works.

My descent into Snapchat began when my senior in high school went with her marching band to Disney World. I felt fine sending her on her own because in seven extremely short months she would be on her own in college anyway. It’s just I was bummed missing out on the fun of it all. I love Disney and I ADORE watching my kids experiencing it. With Snapchat, she was able to quickly share tidbits (like taunting me with the balmy temps) and I could follow her “Story”—the photos she strung together to represent her day.

Do you feel like I have crossed over into a different language? Watch this quick tutorial I put together. Many of my friends complain that Snapchat is not intuitive, but they didn’t have two teenagers giving them the guided tour. I tried to recreate the same thing for you . . . minus the exasperated eye rolls.

I do recommend downloading the Snapchat app to your phone and opening it up for the first time before watching the video so that it makes some sort of sense to you.

Also, here are two terms to help you orient yourself as you get started. (You can view more here, but once again, they will not make much sense until you tool around the app a bit.)

Snap: a video or a picture captured and shared on the Snapchat app.
Story: Snaps shared to all of a user’s Snapchat friends are compiled into a series of photos or videos called a Story. Unlike individual Snaps, which disappear almost instantly, Stories stay on the app for 24 hours. The snaps sequentially disappear as they reach their 24 hour expiration marks. Snapchat users may also download their own Stories to keep a permanent record of each day’s events, if desired.

Are you a parent thinking about getting on #Snapchat? Here is an easy #tutorial.

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Here’s Why I Like Snapchat

It doesn’t last forever. I like to think of them as the telephone conversations of yore. It’s communication in the moment without a trail (and without taking up storage on your phone). While you can replay a Snap, you’d better do it quickly because you only have a minute or two.
It is communication on-the-go. While you might annoy your college freshman with a “check-in” call or text while they are in the middle of something, they seem to always be up for sending a goofy face.
It shows your interest. Getting on Snapchat should be the opposite of stalking your kids on social media. It’s about fun and showing your kids they’re important enough for you to meet them where they “live.”
It lets me know where I am. This was an unexpected bonus. When we were traveling up to Boston University this past spring, I could snap a picture along our way up I-95, swipe right, and the geofilters would tell me exactly where we were. (Note: not all locations have geofilters.) I could also check my husband’s speed without being obvious. Ahem.

Got a teen? Then you should be on Snapchat . . . and not for the reasons you might think. Find out why this mom (spoiler: the mom is me) is on there. Great and easy Snapchat tutorial, too. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Janel Mills (from 649.133 – Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of.) and I definitely already knew we were in Atlantic City. It was just fun to share.

It has given me unexpected insights. Back to Boston University. My daughter and I followed the School of Communication “Story” and it made a huge impact on her decision that students were still wearing parkas to class in April. And there was snow on the ground. In April.
It has given me cool points. My kids’ friends CANNOT believe I am on Snapchat. Added bonus is that I can stay in touch with them even when they are no longer parading through my house because my daughter is off to college. (The “sob” is implied.)
It’s just for me. This point might just pertain to myself and bloggers like me, but this is my only social media account that is not a “platform” for me (although some bloggers are using it that way to fabulous ends like Mommy Shorts.) I can just go on here to play, not create content for the world.

Minor Etiquette Points

Inform your teen before jumping on and explain you are doing it to communicate . . . and get the kickin’ filters. My youngest daughter usually blocks me from viewing her story . . . and I’m okay with that. If she wants to send goofy things to her friends (don’t worry, we have the sexting/bullying/strangerdanger talk about ever 52 hours), I don’t have to be a part of it. I liken it to the way I would have felt if my parents listened on the extension to my teenage phone conversations. (Could there be a more 80s sentence than that?)

On the flip side, she is the only one I have a “Snapstreak” with. Once you and a friend have Snapped each other (not Chatted) within 24 hours for more than one consecutive day, you start a “streak” . . . and the pressure builds not to break it. I broke our last one and I’m still hearing about it.

You don’t have to respond to pictures by sending a Chat. One of the reasons often cited for teens’ love of the app is that it reduces the pressure for feedback in terms of “likes” and comments. When sending pictures and videos, teens don’t have to worry about whether their “like count” will indicate their level of popularity like it does on Instagram.

With that being said, my friend, the profoundly talented, outrageously hilarious Rebecca from Frugalista Blog sent me this Chat when I was posting all those Snaps on My Story as examples.

Chats like these are ALWAYS welcome, no matter what any whipper-snapper says. Just know that the pressure is off because people don’t expect you to respond.

If you do need to respond to the under-20 set, they will probably expect a Snap back. Either just take a random (often blurry) picture of the floor or wall, and caption your response on it or you can take a selfie of your expression.

This is not everything by far, but I hope it helps. The biggest takeaway is that if you have teens, you are missing out on a huge way to connect if you are not on Snapchat with them. Also, don’t be afraid to swipe and tap around on the app. You never know what you’ll unlock.

Happy Snapchatting!

-Ellen

Here is why THIS Mom is on Snapchat and if you have a teen, why you should be too.

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The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids’ Birthday Parties

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Okay, let’s start out with a definition of terms because what better way could there possibly be to get a par-tay started!?

So . . .

When I say over-the-top, I’m not talking about about dropping $40,000 or even dollar bills remotely approaching four figures on a party. Rest assured children has never left my parties with custom birthstone rings nor have aerialists ever descended from my trees. To my knowledge.

Also, my penchant towards over-reaching crafts, cakes, and activities has NOTHING to do with Pinterest as much as I would love to foist the blame on that most fabulous website everyone loves to roast. I WAS Pinterest before it was even a gleam of HTML code in a developer’s eye since I had dial-up internet and a film camera when my first child was born. Chew on that fossilized tidbit for a moment while I adjust my hearing aid and take my calcium.

Now, I have one important qualifier. Since there was no Facebrag to post on, my creations were not perfectly staged in front of rustic wooden fences draped with the prerequisite handmade pennant banners. However, they were enough for other moms to give me the side-eye. Just don’t give my photos the side-eye now. There was no need for the perfect picture.

So that’s what my parties were not. Here’s what my parties were.

There’s the time I hand-painted a dragon on a sheet and constructed a PVC pipe frame to hang it from so the multitude of tiny revelers could joust during my daughter’s “Unicorns and Dragons” party to celebrate her 7th birthday.

Then there’s the time I had a herd of kids construct Littlest Pet Shop habitats using a bushel load of craft supplies. I must note that I never had loose glitter. Giving children access to vials of glitter could be the only criteria needed to diagnose insanity.

Oh, and by the way, my kids have always gotten their very own birthday cakes to dig into. With abandon. We’re kind of famous for it. (The guests generally get their own spit-free cupcakes.)

Okay, one more shout-out to my cakes. Indulge me because I really am sparing you from the one million pictures I want to post from my time hop through my external hard drive, and anyway, how cute is this owl? You don’t have to answer because I already know.

Okay, just one more because c’mon, just look at it. It’s a cake that looks like an ice cream bar on a stick!

Seriously, this post has taken me longer to write than a doctoral thesis on fondant because I have gotten so caught up in the wonderful memories. So what could possibly be the pitfall?

Well, they might have been a tad too boisterous, a tad too three-ring-circus, just a tad too much . . . pushing the bar for what passes as a successful party a bit too high. While painting this dragon didn’t set me up for further sticky situations (unless you count being drafted to paint a backdrop for Vacation Bible School and I probably should) . . .

. . . inviting half the neighborhood, the entire class, church friends, and the swim team did set me up for some problems down the line.

See, I set the expectation that if there wasn’t a ruckus with enough guests to field two complete soccer teams and a cheer squad, then it wasn’t a party. This wasn’t really a problem in the easy-breezy early years of childhood where their friends equaled who sat at their lunch tables. However, as kids got closer to adolescence and alliances became dicier and ever-shifting, this made making the guest list more tumultuous and emotionally charged often resulting in a fairly short list of invitees. And this was completely fine . . . except for the party paradigm I had created.

While I would not have changed those early preschool parties for anything, I wish I had scaled my way back as the years progressed so that a sleepover with four buddies would seem like a perfectly acceptable party. To be honest, I’m not sure who it was a bigger problem for, me or my kids.

Luckily this was not a pitfall that trapped me forever. Time and my ever maturing kids have “cured” my over-the-top-ness. And let’s face it, there are worst things to be than a party planner extraordinaire who wants to celebrate the heck out of her kids. My one wish is that you duly note things can get a little rougher in the tween and teen years when parties are not as simple as goodie bags and pinatas. Now, out of my way! I’m going to the kitchen to get a cake under some candles to make that wish come true.

-Ellen

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids’ Birthday Parties: It’s all fun & games until . . .

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Speaking of perfection, buy our new book, I Just Want to Be Perfect, bringing together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.

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Tragedies Require Grace

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Tragedies require grace. We have the tendency to pass judgement over other parents when tragedy happens to them. Here's why we reject that accidents happen.| Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

If all the world’s a stage, then the internet is its courtroom, judge, and jury (gavel down, sentence delivered, forever and ever, amen). This is particularly true when matters of parenting blow through the headlines; and most profoundly true when children are at the center of tragedies.

In the past month, we as a plugged-in society have born witness to a child at a zoo surviving a fall into a gorilla exhibit and a toddler being snatched away by an alligator on the shores of the Seven Seas Lagoon at Disney World. In the wake of these tragedies, thousands of faceless typists have made their opinions known commenting on news stories or their neighbors’ status updates.

Those who are at least tempered with empathy tiptoe along the lines, “I pray for those parents who let their guard down. If only they had heeded the signs. If only they had been vigilant.”

Those with less of a filter blare like air horns, “That would have never happened to me because I always watch my child! Those parents are neglectful!”

These two opinions, while differing in their stridency, are two sides of the same coin of defensive attribution. This is a mental mechanism used to avoid the worry that you too could become a victim or the cause of something bad. In these cases that translates into the belief that you are far superior at monitoring your children than the parent of the harmed child. As an added mind-bending bonus, the more similar you are to the parents, the more likely you are to assign blame: “There has to be a reason this happened!” If there is a reason–some fault that can be pinpointed–then the protective portion of your brain reasons YOU could avoid such a thing. This reaction of placing blame on the parents becomes more amped-up as the situation becomes more serious. In short, this helps you feel less worried that bad things will happen to you and your kids.

I would say a child being snatched by an actual predator at the happiest place on Earth counts as a nightmare of what can happen if you let your guard down. The thing is, I can put myself easily in these parents’ places. I have walked along the sloping sandy shores of the beach surrounding that lagoon with my own kids throughout the years. I have strained my mind’s eye to recall if they ever touched the water, but I can’t remember because nothing horrible happened to etch it into my memory. I will be honest and say a “No Swimming” sign does not mean “Don’t Go Near the Water” to me, and I also have never once thought about alligators on the Disney property.

While I have a harder time relating to the gorilla incident, I never had the hubris to judge that mother, especially without all of the facts. Just like I can’t remember if my kids ever waded into the Disney lagoon, I can never know how many times my parenting vigilance slipped because by the grace of God, they were not the critical moments. They were not the moments that would write a chapter of tragedy into my life.

We as a species react to risk in an emotional way–a tendency that can heap added pain onto those who are enduring the most tragic event of their lives in the glare of the media spotlight. But the good news is we can cognitively understand our reaction. We can understand we assign blame to convince ourselves that an accident couldn’t possibly happen to us. We can understand that we need to believe we are untouchable because we are too smart or too attentive or too good or too whatever it takes to avoid the heartache.

Why is this good news? Because when our brains tell our hearts that accidents happen, empathy wins out over judgement. “But for the grace of God go I” is a sound way to live because you never know when you may need a little empathy for yourself.

-Ellen

The psychology behind why we are so quick to pass judgement over other parents after tragedies.

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Most Dangerous Time of the Year in a Pool: Tips to Swim Safe

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When I was a lifeguard, this moment right at the start of the the season was the most dangerous time of the year in a pool. In my seven years guarding, most of my saves were young swimmers in the first few weeks after opening. Kids came back to the neighborhood watering hole after a long winter and jumped right into the water fully expecting to swim like their end-of-summer-super- strong-swimmer selves. Their relative weakness after a long hiatus would bring on panic and cause them to flounder. Either that or they would sink like stones in their first jump off the diving board. Even now with my pool-running days way back in my rearview mirror, I still get anxious at the opening of the season and for good reason.

It's the most dangerous time of the year in a pool. Some tips to stay swim safe this summer! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

A couple of years ago, our friend hosted her annual End of School/Welcome Summer pool party. With tables overflowing with yummy eats, good friends brimming with conversation, and a pool full of splashing, happy kids, we were all in a happy, relaxed place. This is not to say that we weren’t vigilant. In fact, the sides of the pool were lined with moms and dads watching their kids play or even in the water with them. But the pool was packed full, there was a lot of splashing and carrying on, and in the end, even with lots of eyes on and in the water, nobody saw the tragedy that almost played out in front of us.

What to expect at an end of year pool party

I was busy refereeing a disagreement over a pool noodle, when a woman I barely knew walked over to me with a crying little girl in her arms.

“I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am to your son. He just pulled my little girl off the bottom of the pool.”

My eyes found my ten year old breathing heavy on the side of the pool. He had been swimming underwater trying out his new goggles when he saw the little girl on the bottom. He reacted quickly, grabbed her by her polka dot suit straps and yanked her to the surface. The little girl was a new swimmer and had slipped down the slope that led from the shallow end to deeper water. It was a common mistake, but her panic at not being able to put her foot down rattled her. When she panicked, she got some water in her mouth and ended up on the bottom of the pool. The scariest part: not one single adult sitting on the edge or swimming near her saw her go under. This is the stuff that stops my heart, scary movies be damned.

Our story is one of a near miss and we are grateful for it, but this scenario is common this time of year. In fact, at another pool party the same time the next year, I jumped in fully dressed to pull another five year old to safety. It’s the most dangerous time of the year in a pool. So what can you do?

First of all, the very best thing you can do for your kids if you plan to even look at water this summer is make sure everyone can swim. Find a reputable place for some lessons and then commit the time and resources to get this one done. But there is a caveat to this very sage advice: real lessons shouldn’t start until age 4. Swimming lessons are not a replacement for common sense and they can give a false sense of security. By all means, have your kids take lessons as early and often as you are able, but know this truth: just because your child can swim a little and very young kids can swim, it does not mean they have enough stamina to swim out and then back to safety, a key marker of a competent swimmer.

It's the most dangerous time of the year in a pool. Some tips to stay swim safe this summer! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Second, make a hard and fast rule that no one enters ANY body of water (even backyard kiddie pools) without a buddy. Accidents happen even to great swimmers, even in inches of water. Even with people watching. Lots of people.

It's the most dangerous time of the year in a pool. Some tips to stay swim safe this summer! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Third, never leave a swimming child unattended. We both have kids who have spent a season or five on a swim team and would easily qualify as strong swimmers. There is no way we would let any of our kids ever swim unattended. We’ll say it again: accidents happen even to great swimmers, even in inches of water.

So stay swim safe out there, folks! Summer fun is right around the corner and we wouldn’t want anything to spoil your fun!

It's the most dangerous time of the year in a pool. Some tips to stay swim safe this summer! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

-Erin

It’s the most dangerous time of the year in a pool. Stay #swim #safe this #summer Some tips!

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Perfectly Imperfect is the New Black

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There’s an inclination in motherhood to dial this whole gig we are doing up to ten, scrapbook it up real nice, and then add a Pinterest bow on top. Feel free to blame the internet for that, but we here at The Sisterhood are not immune. We have the photographic cringe-worthy evidence to back it up. But newsflash, friends: perfectly imperfect is the new black. Check out the following exhibits of our striving for the elusive motherhood pinnacle of perfection. Trust us, we are laughing on the inside.

Exhibit A:

Looking for a great summer read? Check out this great book that explores motherhood and all its perfectly imperfect parts. #IJWTBP | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

When non-crafty people have delusions of grandeur

Exhibit B:

Sometimes even simple snacks are simply too much.

Exhibit C:

Sometimes brown thumbed girls get a little ahead of themselves and plant a tree in the name of family bonding

But lucky for us (and YOU!), we found a group of friends who are laughing with us, not just at us. That’s why we are so excited to be part of a new anthology that’s all about the art of being perfectly imperfect. Jen Mann of the People I Want to Punch in the Throat blog masterminded this anthology. She has books on the New York Times bestseller list, so we basically begged to be included. With 37 funny stories about women who have tried—and failed—to achieve perfection, we know you won’t just love it but laugh your way through it too. Better yet, we know you will feel like you have found the “little black dress” of motherhood. This book fits just right and makes us feel great! We want to carry it with us everywhere! We know you will too!

You can order your very own copy to carry everywhere.

I Just Want to Be Perfect (I Just Want to Pee Alone Book 4)

Looking for a great summer read? Check out this great book that explores motherhood and all its perfectly imperfect parts. #IJWTBP | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms So feel free to order a copy of the book, either paperback or Kindle, and leave a review if you really want to be a pal. It’s a great book for the bottom of your beach bag and will make you laugh (we promise!) whether you are chilling by the pool, hitting the beach, or shuttling kids to camp. In fact, one could argue it’s the perfect accessory for wherever you’ll be hanging out this summer. Looking for a great summer read? Check out this great book that explores motherhood and all its perfectly imperfect parts. #IJWTBP | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Thank you as always for reading!

-Erin and Ellen

Need a great #summer read? Check out our new #book! #IJWTBP

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7 Things You Can Do to Get a Kid Ready for College

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If you have a high school senior, you are sprinting towards the finish line. You might feel a bit whoozy as you rush from that end-of-year banquet to that awards ceremony while simultaneously planning a graduation party, but buckle up. If you are getting ready to launch your first chick from the nest, this is the roller coaster ride you will be riding all summer. Time certainly feels like it is running out now: time together as a family, time to just enjoy your kid, time to tell your kid everything he needs to know about having a beautiful, safe, happy life, time to just love her in the easy way that is a family. But the truth is that we never stop parenting, it’s just HOW we parent that has to change over the next few years. Here are some things you can do to get a kid ready for college. These ideas will help you all! Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. Ride the wave.

Let yourself and your kid feel whatever you need to feel. Pride, joy, a sense of loss, apprehension, even grief—all of these emotions might bubble up. Or not. You are an individual and so is your kid. Just like there is no real compass for how to handle sending your kid off into the great blue yonder we call The College Years, there is no one right way to feel about them leaving either. You can’t help yourself from wanting a way to navigate the vast sea of unknowns and unknowables, but you can help you and yours by being honest about where you are and what you are feeling.

Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Are you gonna be able to muster a thumbs up? Or a mopey hug? Either way, it’s OK.

2. Ask for help.

As in all things in parenting, reach out to the those who have traveled this road before, either virtually or in real time. We have made a great booklist to help you, but don’t dismiss the value of the internet and great posts like this one about how to send your firstborn son to college or this perfect guide to college. Sometimes, the short, sweet observations from the road ahead will be just what you need when you need it. Similarly, we think of the ladies over at Grown and Flown as our internet big sisters on this road. They have great posts about nearly every aspect of this next phase of life. Of course, we have a short and simple guide for how you can help your girlfriend send her kid to college too. The bottom line? For some things like sending your kid to college there is no way to go but through it. Just know that you don’t have go it alone.

3. Create a space to come home to.

Special traditions can be a pain with all the planning, time, and expense, but every time Erin made her husband tape up a pinata for Cinco de Mayo or order special treats for their Doctor Who party, she said the same thing: “Kids come home for stuff like this.” We both always wanted to create our own little country that my kids would want to keep visiting. We invested in experiences over things and hoped that not having a pony would pale in comparison to all the happy memories we made. Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

4. Be honest about what you need.

All we parents really want is to have a good relationship with our kids especially as they move up and out. But an 18 year old’s ideas of what that entails differs wildly from his parent’s. Between texting, Facetime, Skype, and Snapchat, there is no end to the ways to stay connected as the miles between you stretch, but a good relationship requires open and honest communication, not just easy access. Tell your kid what you want but tread lightly. Even if you asked him to call you every Sunday, don’t nail him when he doesn’t. Text often and leave the lines of communication open. Then when he goes radio silent on you, hopefully, it won’t be for too long.

Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

5. Sit on hands, close mouth, open ears.

Active parenting is over, but actual parenting is not. It is so much easier to say than do, but plan to listen 90% of the time and only offer advice when asked. Young adults need to wrestle through decisions and make their own conclusions. If you want to be the sounding board, start acting like one.

6. Set goals and make clear expectations.

Things are gonna get awkward. Someone called freshmen “high schoolers who happen to be in college. ” Your child and his peers won’t have all the life skills figured out by October. Being honest about what they can expect, what we expect, and what we want for them and what they want for themselves will do much to create a positive relationship this year. It’s also a good time to mention that college is not a magical place of unicorns and rainbows. These years are also hard work, crappy roommate drama, and bad food. There are plenty of goods to outweigh the bad, but it’s life and if it’s crappy sometimes, that’s ok today.

Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

7. Be flexible.

An open heart and an open mind won’t just benefit everyone, it will make this parenting an adult thing a smoother transition. Vow to be open to talking about your own college experience as well as to hearing that his isn’t great. Vow to ask open-ended questions as well as be ready for answers that you aren’t ready for. Vow to let her follow her own path and to check your own stuff.

You CAN do this!

You are about to have one of those summers that can’t be captured in a postcard or photograph. The emotional roller coaster and the super warp speed time travel may be disorienting and draining. But remember: this new hard thing called college may not be as unfamiliar as you might have thought. A lot of this summer is really just getting ready, physically and emotionally. You will need to outfit the perfect college dorm and find bargains to make it all affordable. Let these last steps together bolster your resolve and boost your confidence. You didn’t get through the last eighteen years of parenting without knowing how to rock a back-to-school list. You can do this. You HAVE done this. This can be done. Sending a kid to college may not be as easy as checking off boxes, but it’s just the next phase in this parenting ride you are on with your child. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

-Erin and Ellen

Got a #teen #grad? 7 Things You Can Do to Get a Kid Ready for #College

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How to Stay Connected with Your College Kid

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We are on a wild ride here at The Sisterhood: The Express Chute to College. It goes from 0 to 600 without any brakes, takes surprise hairpin switchbacks that leave your disoriented for days, swings your emotions from elation to heartbreak on the turn of a dime, and grinds your bank account until it physically hurts . . . but we wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. It’s a blessing, but, oh my goodness, it’s exhausting. Between the two of us, we’ll be on this ride so long we may need a rehabilitation program to adjust us to life without SATs and submitting the Common Application on the regular.

Just so you can be sure to follow along on your scorecard, Erin has five kids–four sons and one daughter–and Ellen has two daughters. Erin kicked this party off by sending her oldest son to college last year, Ellen sends her oldest daughter away in August, Erin follows up the next year with her daughter, then we both get a two year break until “Boom!” Erin sends another son while Ellen sends her youngest daughter for a double graduation year. But wait, there’s more! Literally. Erin has two more sons.

And we’re not going to sugarcoat it, it’s hard adjusting to the shifting dynamics of your family. You almost feel like you need a guide. Luckily Erin wrote one: Handle with Care: A Sweet and Simple Guide to Helping Your Friend Send Her Kid to College. If you need some commiseration or direction, this is it.

But just to cut to the chase, there is one lifeline that will trump all others. Staying connected. We’ve written oodles of advice about keeping the lines of communication open with your kids, BUT . . .

Sometimes it’s not about leaving yourself open to their ideas and opinions.

Sometimes it’s not about leaving your own agenda behind and following their lead.

Sometimes it’s not about keeping your mouth shut and your ears open.

SOMETIMES IT’S ONLY ABOUT THEM HAVING A CHARGE ON THEIR EVERLOVIN’ PHONE WHEN THEY HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK TO YOU.

How to Stay Connected With Your College Kid | How do you stay connected with your child across the miles? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Seriously. Sometimes it’s that simple. And what is simply wonderful is that this is one of those moments where blogging has made our parenting easier and better. We have been lucky enough to partner with myCharge several times over the past couple of years, but this time they really came through for us by gifting us the myCharge HubPlus 6000mAh. (By the way, we’re able to gift you with a 40% off coupon code and a chance to win an iPad mini and a HubPlus of your very own, but more on that in a bit, also known as “at the bottom of the post.”)

We’re not even kidding when we say myCharge gave Erin one of the best conversations of her life.

Erin: Since my son went to school 300 miles away, texting has been our connection. There have been some calls and Face Time with the whole family boisterously talking over top of each other as is the dog pile M.O of the Dymowski clan, but calls between just my boy and me have been few and far between. Until The Call.

I hadn’t shared an actual conversation with him since our good-byes as he went back to school after winter break. So while I was pleasantly surprised when HE called me out of the blue, my first words were a panicky “Is everything ok? Are you bleeding?” But he babbled right over my initial nervous blurt, we bantered a little, and then he talked NON-STOP for the better part of an hour. It was Christmas in April, a ticker tape parade, and perfect haircut all rolled up in one! I heard all about his summer internship (which I knew nothing about), his new girlfriend (who I sort of knew about. Thank you, Instagram feed!), his classes (which his sister said were kicking his butt), and his work on the television and radio stations there (which I watched or listened to each week). Never underestimate the power of real spoken words in real time over the airwaves to warm a Mom’s heart and keep the connection going strong.

How to Stay Connected With Your College Kid | How do you stay connected with your child across the miles? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This picture with myCharge was posed when I picked my boy up from school, but the moment myCharge gave me with my son was 100% authentic. We call this one: Call your mother!

Ellen: And remember those hairpin switchbacks we were talking about on The Express Chute to College? My family was thrown for its own loop. Just eight days before a commitment had to be signed, we were visiting the University of Miami–an eleventh hour addition to the Common App. A school that was ultimately added because of its academics and opportunities, but was initially thought of because I asked my daughter to apply to a school in a city that was not a past terrorist target. See, the applications were due just weeks after the Paris bombings and her school choices were all located in either Boston, New York City, or Washington, DC.

So, Miami wasn’t the top choice–at that point, she was pretty set on Boston–so only my daughter and I went down because, well, airfare. But our trip seemed worthwhile from the get-go because our meetings with students and the assistant dean impressed us. And as we texted, snapchatted, instagrammed, facebooked, and tweeted our way through the campus (to keep my husband and family in the loop), my daughter knew this was the one. The joy in her face and voice can still choke me up. And all I could think of was “I can’t believe this is the one Frank missed after going all over the East Coast.”

I told her, “You have to call your father and explain to him how this feels to you. Texting is not enough”

And I’m not even kidding, because of myCharge she could. Snapchat can kill a battery.

She dialed her dad for an actual conversation which is almost like spotting a unicorn except more rare.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And they talked . . .

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And talked.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Because we had the battery power, her Dad was able to share in the magical moment, I was able to take pictures of the whole thing, we were able to continue using Google maps to get us around, and we both never missed a beat on social media. Did I mention my daughter and I both fully charged our phones off of a single HubPlus charge??

But enough about us! Let’s talk about what you can get! If you’re a US resident you can enter to win your own iPad mini and HubPlus! We’ve been talking about all that it has done for us phone-wise–like extending talk time by a whooping 45 hours–but this baby is so powerful it can charge an iPad! And no cords to lose! The wall prongs, micro-USB cable, and Apple® Lightning™ cable are all fully integrated. And one of our favorite features is the pass through charging. You can plug this into the wall, plug in your device and the powerbank and connected device will charge simultaneously. We never knew how much this was missing from our lives until MyCharge introduced us to it.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. myCharge HubPlus can help. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Even if you don’t win the giveaway or unable to enter because you’re not a US resident, you can still come out on top.

Go here to myCharge, enter promo code CONGRATS and receive 40% off your very own HubPlus! (The code is valid until the end of June 2016.) There is free shipping on all orders over $25. These would make swell graduation or Father’s Day gifts!

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Good luck and stay in touch!

Ellen and Erin

We were compensated for this post, but all love for our college kids and this product are genuinely our own.

You need this! Easy entry for a @myChargePower HubPlus and iPad mini! #giveaway

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Reader’s Guide to Parenting

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Short of a personal trainer, an industrial strength leash, a never empty coffee pot, and an ironclad agreement with the relatives to babysit every weekend, you know what would make this whole parenting thing a whole lot easier? A book or better yet a whole library to tell you what was coming and what to do once you got there. Motherhood doesn’t just change your pants size, your shoe size, and your selection at Victoria’s Secret, Motherhood changes EVERYTHING. And then it keeps on changing. ALL. THE. TIME. You will just get your parenting stride at a stage, and your little darling is sprinting on to the next one. So we took some inspiration from classic books and children’s books to mark some milestones of childhood for you. Think of this as the Cliff’s Notes Reader’s Guide to Parenting. Some fanfare, please . . .

1. War and Peace

The First Year

Now Erin has never actually read this book, but we heard that it concerns Russia. The title conjures what it feels like in the trenches of your first year with a new baby. It’s either bliss. . . or bombs raining down on you. Prepare to be delighted, completely decimated, and so deprived of sleep you could put on your husband’s underwear and think it’s your own or fall asleep mid-sentence. Not that either of these things has ever happened to either of us.

Looking for a short, sweet, simple guide to parenting? We found a whole library of books that provide a Cliff's Note primer to childhood that should make this whole motherhood gig a little easier | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

2. What Do People Do All Day?

The Second Year

Hope you like naming aloud everything you own, see, think, hear, feel, smell, flush down the toilet, etc. because that’s what baby likes. Oh, that’s not for me, you say, my kid’s just chillin’. Well, we say that clearly you have never been at the mercy of a newly mobile but vocabulary-limited tot. YET. They jonez for this stuff like miniature meth addicts cut off from their supplier. Buy every oversized, ridiculously detailed book you can find now to assuage the tiny beasts. Richard Scarry knows. He’s the toddler-whisperer.

Looking for a short, sweet, simple guide to parenting? We found a whole library of books that provide a Cliff's Note primer to childhood that should make this whole motherhood gig a little easier | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Oh, and they run. A lot. This is when they start the sprinting.

3. Where the Wild Things Are

The Third and Fourth Year AKA The Terrible/Terrific Twos and Threes

These kids are adorable but nuts with a little extra nutty on top. Every time we think back to when our houses were ruled by these fickle tyrants, there is a little catch in our throats. We do miss our ladies who dressed as princesses or ladybugs every day and our lads bedecked in boots and capes. But it’s a dog-eat-dog world in the Land of Tod and we’ll give you three guesses who’s their favorite meal. Come to think of it, Lord of the Flies works for this stage too.

4. Interrupting Chicken

The Funny Fabulous Fact-Filled Four Year Old

Erin is 100% convinced that she did not have her attention issues until she had to parent a 4 year old—FIVE TIMES! No sentences are finished, no thoughts completed, no work is done. The four year old runs the place like a miniature Napoleon or Attila the Hun and the only consistent thing he or she is serving up is questions. Note: When the 4 year old inevitably asks you where babies come from or why you and Daddy like to wrestle, deflect, defer, and lie your pants off. You have plenty of time to pay for future counseling.

5. Brave New World

Kindergarten

This stage marks the end of an era and the beginning of a new one, so all that sniffling and carrying on you’re going to do is totally justified. Your baby belongs to the great big world now. And it’s a beautiful, terrible, amazing, nauseating, wondrous sight to see.

6. The Call of the Wild

Early Elementary School

Seriously, kids at this age are powered by sheer force of will and their wily, wily ways. If we could harness it, we would solve the world’s energy needs. Oh, yeah, and they are full throttle without the benefit of forethought or reason. Invest in Band-Aids and mecurochrome and wine.

7. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde

Late Elementary School

As a pre-cursor to the full-blown hormonal onslaught headed your way, Mother Nature gives you a little tapas of what’s to come. Honestly, a lot of the angst comes from having one foot in the Land of the Little Kid and the other in the Acreage of Adolescence, but that doesn’t mean that this stage isn’t sometimes going to keep you up at night or wrangling with each other during the day.

8. Something Wicked This Way Comes

Middle School

Too dramatic? Maybe, especially when we both actually enjoy our Middle Schoolers and Erin loves teaching this age group. But storms are a-comin’, so you need to be ready to ride them out when they come AND to enjoy the calm seas in between the blow-ups.

9. Catch-22

Early Teen

Your tongue might actually hurt from all the times you will hold it. Happy, successful parenting with teens is all about choosing your battles, so often times you may get caught in senseless, absurd situations. We’ll take those over the scary stuff that also sometimes comes with the teen years, but none of it is easy. And <sniff>, you do sense your time together is shortening.

10. Great Expectations

Late Teen

Your baby’s getting ready to spread his or her wings, so there is great talk about the future and plans and what happens next. It’s all exciting and scary and nothing at all like what you imagined when you started this journey, oh so many moons ago.