I have a confession to make: I used to be a social media Luddite. You remember the Luddites, right? In the 19th century, they were the ones tearing down the mills, because, you know, milled wheat would be the downfall of mankind. When my kids first started asking about cellphones and playing with tablets, I panicked and started looking for my own wrench to throw in the whole social media works. Too much drama, too much exposure, too much access to things my kids don’t need in their life— it was all just too much. Since burning the internet to the ground was not a viable option, I leaned hard on every mother’s handy back-up plan: I banished devices outright. I even added a “my kids will never!” on top just for good measure.

That one obviously didn’t take. I look back at my former self with compassion and an epic eye roll. Teaching digital citizenship to middle schoolers for the past 4 years has taught me not only that social media is here to stay, but that there are positives to counteract all the fears. There are also ways for me to help my children navigate this tricky terrain while still remaining in the driver’s seat. If this mom can have a change of heart and a social media plan that’s airtight, you can too.

Technology is part of our brave new world. Hop on board.

Let’s start with the upsides. Social media provides a space to connect with friends who don’t live close by, an opportunity to create social change and practice activism, an outlet for creative kids to not just create but share their creations, and a chance to amplify their experience and share it in a way that can be profoundly affecting. It can even connect families across generations. Social media may not be magic but some of the things that it can do practically reek of pixie dust.

It may not be Norman Rockwell, but we’ll take it.

But social media’s greatest strengths are also part of the problem. By nature, these platforms connect kids across devices rather than in person. This level of anonymity leaves kids vulnerable and exposed. Cyberbullying, privacy breaches, errors in judgment that last as long as a digital footprint (so basically forever), and emotional fallout from digital interactions gone the way of a middle school lunchroom on steroids are real and present dangers every time they sign in.

But we can’t just tilt at windmills here. Our kids today view their online and offline relationships as one and the same which means that as parents we cannot just tear the social media platforms down. Sure, we could banish them forever, but that would deny us the chance to parent our kids through this important place of interaction with their peers. This may not look like the sandbox at the playground, but the process is still the same: insert good parenting here.

Now, climb down out of that tree and put away that paper bag you have at the ready. This is as easy as 1, 2, 3.

First, educate yourself. If you are not computer-savvy, ask your four year old to catch you up. Learn the ins and outs of the social media platforms where the tweens and teens hang out. To save yourself some time, you can skip Facebook altogether, that’s just for us Moms to humble brag about our kids. Next, find some websites that you can bookmark when you have a question. Now that you have a day’s worth of google searching to do, sit back and relax and get ready to send us a great Christmas present, because we already did all this for you.

Second, be available, interested, and around. Social media menaces love a parent who has checked out. Make sure from the minute your babies sign up for an account that they know that  you are around, that you are watching, and that you will be talking about anything you see that warrants a discussion. You can also talk about expectations and rules for how much time kids will spend on devices. Not sure what to say, here are some ideas. Oh, and here are some more about talking to your kids in general.

Third, find the right tools to keep your kids safe. Start with the links we shared above. Then check out this new app, Family Safeguard, due to hit the market on November 27th. With Familoop Safeguard, all of those great rules you have made for devices can be more than just a great family exercise, they can actually help shape kids into responsible digital citizens. By analyzing what kids post, this app can highlight areas of concern. There are even convenient little red alerts to guide you to your next talking points. The clear one page summary of all your child’s digital activity is not just helpful, it’s so appreciated by those of us who have more than one child who has gone digital. Even better, it can track more than fifteen different social media channels in the summary.

Some Things We Like

1. Parents can set limits on access during school and for bedtime. It helps reinforce family decisions about screen time and game limits.

2. It is available for all Windows products, including Windows 8, Mac OS, Android, and is coming soon to iOS.

3. Crazy simple to set up, once you sign up and approve your email address, the system will carefully walk you through setting up Familoop Safeguard on your child’s PCs, laptops, tablets, and phones and start safeguarding right away. All devices, all social media platforms, all aspects of a child’s digital footprint in one place just for you.

4. We really like the style AND the substance of this app.

Familoop Safeguard is the only parental control software available that automatically connects to all the social networks kids are using without account login information. From the Activity feed, parents get a full summary of a child’s activity online. The sites he visited, the searches he did, even the comments he made online and the sites that were blocked are all right there for you. Parents can even save it and have a look later as all of these saved sites and events are collected in a folder. Nothing but smiles from this mom with all this information readily available and so easily accessed.

5. As a mom with five kids at all different stages, elementary through high school, I also really appreciated the customizable templates of protection rules. This means that I can set restrictions differently for my 8 year old than for my 16 year old which is not only appropriate, but a key to familial harmony.

6. Also,  while most parental controls software don’t take into account that kids can talk to the same person on all their different social networks, Familoop Safeguard merges all conversations with the same person into one place and gives you that handy red alert for a person or event that needs attention.

7. Family Safeguard has a reasonable price point with an offer of 60% off if you register at Family Safeguard now.
Familoop Safeguard 10 day Trial – unlimited number of protected devices – Free
Familoop Safeguard Premium 3 – Protects 3 devices – $39.99/ year or $4.99/ month
Familoop Safeguard Premium 10 – Protects 10 devices – $69.99/ year or $9.99/ month

Overall, this app looks to be exactly the kind of app that you can use when managing your child’s social media. In fact, just add this one to the ever-growing chest of tools that will not only help your kid navigate but thrive in this new digital world.

Our goal after all is not to cut off our kids from all potential dangers, but to prepare and teach them how to take care of themselves. Our kids aren’t just future digital citizens: they are living, working, and playing in that space here and now. While all families will make their own decisions about how to handle social media and all the devices, these steps will help you think about the risks, design a plan for your family, and then follow through on it to keep your kids safe online.

Take back the driver’s seat in your child’s social media

while preparing your kids to be good digital citizens.

It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3.

Happy surfing! Erin and Ellen

 This post was sponsored but our digital angst and opinions are all our own.

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Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”