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Banish Holiday Stress (Tongue-In-Cheek Required)

The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year or at least that’s what the song says. But as any angel-wing-making, pageant-attending, cookie-swap-baking parent knows, it can also be the most stressful time of year.

In fact, Ellen tweeted this just last week:

With seven busy kids between us, we certainly feel like the holidays can be more fraught than festive, and we are not alone.

Check this out:

Click here to see more of the resources and research Responsibility.org has to offer.

It’s enough to make a girl want to stuff those stockings where the sun doesn’t shine . . . so what to do? The number one piece of advice is to prioritize what is important, but the mere thought of making a list at this time of year could bring out your inner Ebenezer Scrooge. Before you say, “Bah, Humbug!”, check out the one we made for you.

Top Ten Ways to Banish Holiday Stress

1. Drape your philodendron with tinfoil and call it a day.

2. In fact, instead of decorating your house, hand out sunglasses with red and green lenses as people walk through your door.

3. Box up the sugar snap peas you forgot to serve at Thanksgiving instead of baking cookies.

4. Smear store-bought frosting on shoe boxes instead of making gingerbread houses.

5. Give gifts in the shopping bags they came in.

6. Better yet, print out certificates announcing you “bought” everyone stars for Christmas. No need to go through that process of really purchasing them. Who would know?

7. Burn your Elf on the Shelf! Saves the stress of THAT daily grind and saves on chopping fire wood.

8. Skip the lines at the mall. Photoshop your kid on Santa’s lap and send her an email from Saint Nick.

9. Pizza for Christmas dinner!

10. Unfriend all your “friends” on Facebook. You do not need that brand of humblebrag in your life.

So you get the picture: ’tis the season to lighten up if you want to make it to the new year with your sanity. But what’s a girl really to do?

Sitting down to make a plan really is worth the time it takes. Start with deciding what will make your holidays joyful and jettison the rest. Streamline where you can, learn how to say “no,” and be prepared. This could mean creating a binder for holiday recipes, generating a Christmas card list with pre-printed labels, or even settling for the store-bought cookies. If your goal is a happy, healthy, sane Momma this season, it’s worth slowing down for a few minutes to see what you can scoot off of your brimming plate.

Another way to relieve stress is to plan ahead to avoid making important decisions in the middle of your time to unwind with family and friends. Let fun be fun! For starters, you can think about how to get home safely from all of those super fun holiday parties. According to research by Responsibility.org, 60% of Americans report that alcohol is a part of their family traditions around the holidays, while only 47% plan ahead for transportation when hosting or attending parties. A shocking 32% say they rarely or never plan ahead for transportation. So while you’re slowing down to plan, sip some cocoa, sing along with Bing, and come up with a designated driver plan. Your family will thank you for keeping yourself and everybody else on the road safe.

Tips for Managing Holiday Stress--Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
And while we are talking about what’s going to keep you happy and healthy this season, don’t forget to focus on the fun things you enjoy about the season. If frosting the perfect sugar cookie is what makes you merry, that is what you keep. If sharpening your skates for an afternoon worthy of a Hans Christian Anderson story fills your heart with joy, remind yourself to make the time to do it. Focusing on what you really love is an easy way to keep you feeling festive instead of fried.

Don’t forget to fire up your sense of humor too. That’s what our tongue-in-cheek list was for. A little laughter can go a long way in preserving your feelings of goodwill to all. Gifts may be threatening a hostile take-over of your bedroom, your hand may be cramping from writing Christmas cards, and the be-decking of your halls might be transforming into something other than a Hallmark movie, but a light heart can help you see the fa-la-la in the midst of the potential fiasco.

But seriously, if you feel the need to give that darn Elf the boot this year, we won’t tell anyone. In fact, we’ll cheer you on. Think of it as our gift to you.

-Erin and Ellen

Need to relieve some holiday stress? We have a few suggestions. Tongue-in-cheek required.

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Responsibility.org sponsored this post for #TalkEarly, but all opinions, discussions, and humorous suggestions about how to keep your sanity this season are all uniquely our own.

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The Script for Saying No! Let it No!

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The holiday crush is upon us: cards, concerts, parties, cookies, cooking, shopping, wrapping, sending, decorating, decking, caroling . . .

Let it No!

Ellen: I can’t decide it if I want that to be sung to the Frozen “Let it Snow!” or the more classic “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.”

Erin: I say stick with the classic Dean-o.

Ellen: Dean-o?

Erin: Dean Martin. Classic over cute, for sure, but I find it amazing that at a time like this, with all we have to prioritize, you’re focusing on that. There is no time for that kind of waffling during the yuletide onslaught.

Ellen: Well, you’re going to love this sidetrack Imma gonna jump on that will eventually loopty loop around to my main point. But anyway, I would like to address that I am sick of the being called amazing.

Erin: Yeah, it’s awful being called nice things.

Ellen: No! “Amazing” is a crime against womanhood that is wrapped in sheep’s clothing. About 0.001% of the time, “You’re amazing!” is a true compliment. The other 99.999% of the time it translates into “Boy, I’m glad you’re here to do that turd sandwich of a job because I wouldn’t want to do it.”

Erin: Now that I think of it, “You’re amazing” does sound an awful lot like “We’ve got ourselves a world-class sucker on the line.”

Ellen: Uh huh. The other day I was asked how I was doing by someone who probably didn’t want to know, but I responded honestly, because I needed to relieve the pressure valve.

Erin: That will teach her.

Ellen: Truth. I said that I was overwhelmed by my lack of help because of my husband’s injured foot, by my worry over my daughter’s concussion, by my continuing grief over my mom’s death; and that making Thanksgiving dinner–by myself–might throw me over the edge. And that was the short list. She replied, “You’ll manage to get it all done because you are amazing!”

I asked, “But how?”

She just circled back, “You always get everything done. You’re amazing!”

It’s just like I said: “amazing” is a trap.

Erin: You know what they say, “If you want something done, ask a busy person.”

Ellen: Did you know the internet attributes that quote to both Benjamin Franklin AND Lucille Ball? What the heck?

Erin: I feel like we are having a very Freaky Friday moment here. You’re jumping all over the place like an elf mainlining syrup. That’s usually my job.

Ellen: Right. I promised I would loopty loop back to the main point: Let it No!

Erin: Oh, thank goodness, now my world can stop tilting on its axis, but back to MY point: people will continue to pile jobs on your plate like a paleo disciple falling off the wagon at a pizza buffet. You have to have a strategy to stop the abuse.

Ellen: Exactly! That is why your formula for saying “no” is a lifesaver. You changed my life when you shared this nugget of wisdom. It is just so magical. It shows respect while still making it clear that you really mean no. There’s nothing worse as a chairperson than being strung along with maybes and half-hearted commitments.

Erin: Being strung up by a disgruntled committee member might rank higher on the “worse” scale, but I see your point. Now is not the time to spend your precious minutes where they aren’t appreciated.

Ellen: If there was ever a time to rediscover the power of “No”, this would be it.

How to Graciously Say “No”

Say, for example, you’re earnestly asked by your neighbor’s Aunt Judy to knit a gross of scooper cozies for underprivileged dog walkers. Here’s how to decline in such a way that Judy is not inspired to leave a flaming bag of poo on your doorstep.

1. Thank the person. (We know, right!) “Thank you for asking me to knit scooper cozies.”

We definitely don’t want you to be insincere, but this generally stuns people into silence.

2. Compliment them. “You do such a great job of making sure dog walkers are comfortable and stylish.”

Once again, sincerity is key. This person most definitely does need to be thanked. They’re giving their time for something they believe in.

3. Compliment them again and then just say no. “And while you do such a wonderful job, I must say no because I don’t have the time to devote to your project.”

This is sheer perfection: to the point, honest, and, most importantly, does not leave even a whisker of wheedle room.

Erin: So no more hemming and hawing! No more stumbling over excuses! And more importantly, no more looking like or feeling like a Grinchy Claus for saying no.

Save your best self for the people who will really appreciate it. The holidays can only be as happy as the Momma who brings the magic.

Ellen: But the key is to practice! Get yourself in front of a mirror and rehearse this script.

Erin: Every good actor has to practice her script. Those words have to roll off of your tongue for them to be sincere and to not leave further room for begging. It’s also best to have your mouth set on the “no” auto-pilot when they corner you at the Christmas Bazaar and ask for your help next year.

Ellen: One “uh” cracks open the door to your heart of gold that really wants to help everyone.

Erin: Just remember there are only 24 hours in a day and you can’t do all things AND do everything well.

Ellen: Plus, there is a secret bonus to using this script; no one will be moved to call you amazing!

Erin: Now THAT is amazing!

Now is the time to learn the real magic of the season: How to Say No!

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Feeling Holiday Stress? #TalkEarly and The Sisterhood are Here to the Rescue!

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On Dasher and Dancer, it’s party time again!

Holiday cookie swap? We’re firing up the ol’ oven and rattling our cookie sheets.

Seasonal Open House? We’ve got a wheel of brie and some phyllo dough at the ready.

Ice Skating/Hot Cocoa/Gingerbread House-Making Extravaganza. Sharpen our skates, break out the marshmallows, and hit up the ATM for extra money for the dentist.

Elf on the Shelf Holiday Hoedown? Yikes! PASS!

Twitter party? We’ve got an open social media management tool and we’re not afraid to use it.

Sisterhood say what?

Twitter parties may not be your usual holiday fare, but this one hosted by The Century Council and The Motherhood was as welcomed as a peppermint stick in your mocha latte. You can check out some of the takeaways and impressions in the graphic below.

By far the most important takeaway was the realization that for EVERYONE the holidays are packed with love and memorable moments but also stress. And plenty of it. All of that merry-making and memory-crafting means less time doing other things that frankly don’t stop needing to be done just because it’s December. Sock Bag O’ Shame, we’re looking at you!

It’s a point of fact–the more stressed you are, the less efficient you’ll be. And less efficient doesn’t always look like a gas guzzling car, it looks like a hot mess with a little too many miles of road under her eyes, if you know what we mean. It’s most definitely NOT the look you want to be sporting at the office Christmas party–doesn’t really go well with your blow-out and Tory Burches.

None of the good stuff, most importantly your family creating memories with a loving, sane mother, will get done until you find your holiday zen. To which we have a great and sensible solution—a time diary. We all think we have no time. Here’s one way to find your stolen hour. You can even use it to learn to knit. Just stick to scarves and sweaters, PLEASE.

Think of the amount of time you spend on Pinterest or on the phone with someone you don’t even like or even matching socks. We guarantee, if you write down your day hour by hour, you will rediscover a little time for you. Time that you can spend at the gym, the mall, Starbucks, or hunkered down with a good book—whatever YOU want as long as it re-energizes you and keeps you steaming ahead through the season.

We’re wondering why it takes them over an hour to figure out tha heels were a bad idea. We usually realize it in the shoe store.

So Christmas is coming early to you all this year, because to demonstrate our great time diary idea, we thought we would give you. . .

A Day in the Life of Erin

6:00 am: Rise and SHINE!

Ellen: Oh, sweet Cheez-its! Do not start this off all peppy, Pollyanna.

Erin: It’s only peppy for about 5 minutes and then I have to get 5 kids to school. I could be in the army for all I get done before 8am.

6:05 am: Wake teen #1

6:10 am: Wake teen #2

6:15 am: Mediate teen argument over bathroom

6:20 am: Sign permission slip/check/birthright over to teens who forgot to show me the slip the night/week/month before

6:30 am: Mediate teen argument over bathroom/Say good morning to Boy #3 and Boy #4 who rise and shine like their Momma

6:40 am: Wake tween who hates mornings

6:45 am: Mediate teen argument over bathroom

6:50 am: Feed teens/ Remind them to make their lunches/Wake tween who hates mornings . . . again/Put Boy #4 in timeout for bodyslamming the cat

7:00 am: Mediate teen argument over bathroom/ Wake tween who hates mornings . . . Again/ Take Boy #4 out of timeout because I forgot about him

7:10 am: Wave goodbye to teens/ Wake tween who hates mornings . . . AGAIN/ tell Boy #3 and #4 to get dressed

7:20 am: Wake tween who hates mornings . . . (Help me)/ tell Boy #4 to get dressed

7:30 am: Wake tween who hates mornings . . . (HELP ME)/ tell Boy #4 to get dressed

7:40 am: Wake tween who hates mornings . . . WTH?/ tell Boy #4 to get dressed/ Give Boy #3 Cookies for Breakfast and tell him he’s my favorite because he is dressed, ready, AND has made lunches for his slacker brothers

7:45 am: Forcibly remove tween from bed/ Help Boy #4 get dressed

7:45 am-8:00 am: It’s a blur

8:05 am: Carpool to school

8:20 am: Home again drooling into my Diet Coke and Frosted Mini-Wheats

Ellen: I need a cookie for surviving reading that.

Erin: I’m dripping in sweat. And then it begins. . .

9:00 am: Phone call #1 from hubby: Can you pick up the dry cleaning? Shop for the office party?

9:15 am: Phone call #2 from long lost high school classmate: We haven’t talked in 15 years, but can you find the address of that guy who used to be my best friend?

9:30 am: Phone call #3 from school: Can you come in an hour early TODAY? We changed the day for mass.

9:45 am: Phone call #4 from friend: I’m starting a new business and want to go over the entire plan with you right now . . .

10:00 am: Phone call #5 from another friend: OMGeeeee, can you believe this? . . .

10:30 am: Shower

10:32 am: Ellen calls

Erin: You ALWAYS call during my shower. No matter what time I take it. I’m pretty sure I lose minutes of my life EVERY day looking for the hidden cameras.

Ellen: Melodramatic much? But you are missing the forest for the trees. WHAT do I tell you every time you get out of the shower to answer the phone?

Erin: That just because the phone rings, doesn’t mean I have to pick it up?

Ellen: You do listen to me! Just because someone invites you down a rabbit hole does not mean you have to tumble down it. If you want that hour, but really, if you NEED that hour, don’t let any summoning ringtone draw you away from it.

Erin: Noted. But pot, this kettle is calling you black.

Ellen: I know. Mine is even worse because it’s a silent Siren song: social media. I solemnly vow to put my money where my mouth is and record my time down the Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest/Instagram rabbit hole. I’ll probably find enough time to go to Starbucks, practice yoga, AND knit you a scarf.

Now go find your own hour and tell us what you’re going to do with it!

This post is part of our paid partnership with The Century Council’s #TalkEarly to your kids about alcohol campaign, but all opinions and time diaries are our own. We want you to find healthy ways to manage your stress because sighing, “It’s been a hard day, Mommy needs her wine,” could send the wrong message to your kids. Alcohol can be part of responsible celebrations, but it shouldn’t be the answer to stress.

-Ellen and Erin

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