First World Kid Problems
Remember those back-to-school essays: “What I Did on My Summer Vacation”? Heck, your pride and joy might be composing one as we speak.
But no one ever asks us Moms what we did. What’s that you say? Oh, now you want to know what we did? Well, it feels a bit patronizing, but since you asked, here’s what we did:
We Broke Our Kids
Erin: We are very blessed to be able to stay home with our kids but rest assured, we make the most of it.
Ellen: So much so that on one particular day, when we had nothing to do, Jellybean (11) screamed, “Hooray, I’m staying in my jammies all day!”
Erin: Yeah, if only we ALL could be as tortured as Jellybean.
Ellen: We are crying a river for her First World Problems…
Erin: So with our tongues wedged firmly in our cheeks…
First World Kid Problems Endured by Our Children
Learned to Fish Before Learning To Read. Could Have Just Gone To The Grocery Store.
Sore Arms Because Our Moms Stick Us In Canoes or Kayaks Every Chance They Get. Made it Hard To Keyboard.
Had To Find Our Shoes Because A Small Fortune Was Spent on Appropriate Footwear for Outdoor Adventures. Lost Our Level On Doodle Jump.
Had to Learn Fun But Silly Sports. Didn’t Get To Play Wii.
Had To Dance In The Rain. TVs, Couches, And Computers Were Not An Option While Camping.
Had To Conquer Power Tools Because Mom Insists I Have Life Skills. Could have ordered this stuff online with my smartphone.
Trotted Out To Playgrounds and State Parks For Fresh Air & New Experiences. Needed To Practice Wipe-Out On Our Kinects At Home.
Had To Swim With Rocks In Falling Water. Could Have Just Googled The Closest Chlorinated Pool.
Had To Learn Hard-Core Safety Techniques. We Thought Our Moms Could Keep Us Safe With Bubble Wrap.
Had To Whittle Toys. Mom Forgot To Pack My Action Figures.
Erin: So, alas, even if our kids’ essays sound a little wistful for some downtime, we can say that it was all for their own good. We did it all out of love. We. . .
Ellen: . . . had a fabulous summer and we are NOT gonna be wracked with guilt that their hands hurt writing their back-to-school essays.
Erin: You know what this is, don’t you?
Ellen: What?
Erin: A First World MOM Problem.
By Ellen Williams Erin Dymowski
Ahahaha. Nicely done. I remember those summers as kids. “I don’t want to play outside” and the inevitable “but there’s no TV when camping”. I can’t wait until my kids are old enough to be forced to have fun. It will be a blast for me.
Great post!
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My favorite quote was from Ellen’s freshman daughter. Her teacher asked her how her summer was and all she could muster was, “a lot”. I love that we muted a teenager. Erin
I recently tried using the “First World Kid Problem” phrase on my girls. They didn’t get it. That’s a BIG first world problem that I definitely have to work on. Fun post.
Sperk* recently posted..Wednesday’s Woman: Alicia Reece
To be fair, our kids don’t know we called them First World Kid Problems either. Ha! Erin
Loved this! You just described my life as a kid. My kids need breaking, that’s for sure!
Stacie @ Snaps and Bits recently posted..The Siren
It really rung a bell with us too. Make sure you have a good time when you break them. That’s key!! Erin
I’m sending my kids to you next summer. Please break them!
Ninja Mom recently posted..Shopping Independence Day! I’m In The Powder Room.
this summer, grandma was in the house, so they got away with it….next summer will be a different ball game for sure!!!
Mom of A and a recently posted..Big mouth Mama
THIS IS PRICELESS!
I have toddler boys and nothing scares me worse than the toys they’ll want in 6 years.
Heather recently posted..My Brain Off Drugs
Absolutely LOVE this so much. I attempted to spend a lot of time torturing my children as well this summer, by taking them on fun adventures. However, because I am much lazier than you two, they totally managed to beat all the levels in Angry Birds, too!
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