When you first have kids, it’s a bit of a shock to your system. Until that bundle of joy is placed in your arms, it’s hard to fathom how thoroughly he or she will take over your heart. And then you realize that they take over your home, too. Toys . . . and shoes . . . and sippy cups . . . and plastic crap. Everywhere.
But what we are discussing today is the advanced level of take over. This is the level where they have embedded themselves into your homes like ticks on a hound dog. We’re not talking about blocks scattered across the floor; something that a simple sweeping up will fix. We’re talking about them entrenching themselves into your home, into the mechanism of its function so thoroughly that you don’t even recognize it anymore. We’re talking about a take over that is as insidious as cat pee because it assaults your senses at every turn, but oddly enough, you don’t see it anymore.
10 Signs Of Advanced Take Over
1. Remodeling is undertaken to meet their specific needs.
Erin – Five school aged children need a lot of homework space. So we transformed our living room into a study-carrel-bookshelf-storage-masterpiece of efficiency. It is beautiful, but it was for them. Momma might have enjoyed a nice new treadmill. (Okay, I admit it, I love those bookshelves, but still.)
2. They take over remodeling projects that were not specifically undertaken for them.
Ellen – Behold the nook for my treadmill. What’s that you say? Where’s the treadmill? Exactly. My children overtook this years ago and inexplicably christened it “The Hobo Casino”. Only a cold-hearted person who hates unicorns ad fun could dismantle a casino for hobos.
3. They do not limit their take over to one section of the house.
Ellen – One corner of my kitchen has an undercoat of magnetic paint so that I can display a portion of their prolific production of writing and art. At least it is contained to one corner. (It’s not contained to one corner.)
4. They require the purchase of their own major appliances.
Erin – We have an extra refrigerator in the garage for extra water bottles and lunch boxes. And check out the 5 dozen eggs. I had no idea this is what my life would come to. Remember the good ol’ days when the extra fridge was for beer?
5. They inspire the purchase of ridiculous pieces of furniture.
Ellen – Somehow, some way, my youngest convinced us to buy this bed for her. I do not make impractical decisions like this, but maybe a lifetime of foisting hand-me-downs onto her weakened me to her pleas. We will never be able to use this as a guest bed for an adult, it weighs a ton (we can’t even move it to repaint the room), and it has about 48 and a half steps to disassemble it. It’s Ellen’s folly, but Jellybean’s victory.
6. They redefine the standards for art.
Erin – Now I actually think a fish doodle from my kindergartner is art. And I frame it like art. I have become one of THOSE parents.
7. Artistic hierarchy is ignored. Design concepts are forgotten.
Ellen – There is no art caste system in my home. Papier mâché angel cats mingle freely with honest-to-goodness sculptures that we paid good money for. Really, it’s just a lesson in equal rights.
8. Centerpieces are no longer created to compliment your decor or celebrate the seasons.
Ellen – What can I say in my defense? I have the Death Star with a backdrop of Hogwarts as my centerpiece. Don’t tell Pinterest. Please, We’re on shaky enough terms as it is.
9. All sensibilities for the finer things in life are set adrift.
Erin – Before kids, I had fresh flowers beside my bed. Now, I have coffee filter flowers there. But you have to admit they are more hip than silk flowers. It’s upcycling for crying out loud!
10. You never want this phase of your life to end.
Our kids mark our homes like tomcats, but we must confess, we wouldn’t have it any other way. They put the joy and adventure in our lives. Plus they make pretty good scapegoats.
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You mean Death Stars are NOT supposed to be centerpieces???
Love the bookshelf/ study area thingy. Good place to write and play on the Internets, yes?
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It’s pricier than anything that has adorned my table up until this point.
And Erin’s library is wonderful. Yes! 🙂 Ellen
Sticky floors – check.
Messy kitchen – check.
Laundry piles – check.
Dirty ovens – check.
Happy kids – check.
Guess I’m doing it right!
Check! 😉 Ellen
We’re still early on the takeover, but we have custom built several baby gates. Also, our furniture layout is not optimized for feng shui, but toddler safety.
I love the last pic. I was way beyond laundry piles, we had laundry *dunes*. I say had, because I actually buckled down & got through it all. Well, except for a load or three. 😉
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Congrats on excavating the dunes! I hope the winds have not blown them back. 😉
I have not had a coffee table in 14 years. Hope that is not messing up my shui. Ellen
Hey, you’re just lucky they haven’t actually peed on anything. Or perhaps they have. Vomit is also good as a territory marker. And I wont’ even tell you about the great diarrhea explosion that, literally, rang in New Year’s Day 2007. Let’s just say there’s a reason a person with small children should never live in an apartment with wall-to-wall carpeting.
I am also puzzled, like others, by the idea that Legos & Star Wars are NOT accent decor items? Really? Then…what do people decorate *with*?
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Deborah, really. Of course we’ve been marked with fluids. We thought that was implied. 🙂
We bought a display case from Ikea for all of the Lego sculptures we have because we are NOT allowed to disassemble them. Ever. Alas, the case was not put together for this post. We’ve only had it for 5 months. We have a strict 8 month holding period before anything can be put together in this house. Ellen
Oh man…I just framed Jackson’s art & I totally have coffee filter flowers on my night stand. It’s all over.
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And we love you for it. Ellen
That was a great listicle. I especially liked the picture at the end.
Thanks!
Oh man, this looks familiar. I like to call it “kid sprawl.” Advanced takeover is right. First step, admittance. Second step, acceptance. Third step, call to action. You can’t beat ’em so might as well join “em. Embrace the sprawl and learn to make it look prettier 🙂 Just as you did!
I love your “steps”!! Ellen
Number 10? So darn true!
And that “I Heart Unicorns” sign on the wall in number 2 totally cracked me up. Love it!
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And it is totally authentic. Ellen
Haha, Legos are my centerpieces too! And magnetic paint? That’s brilliant! I wish I had known about that before I repainted.
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Everyone always loves the magnetic paint. BTW, loved your centerpiece, too. Very tough looking. 🙂 Ellen
I have to admit, I am coveting your lovely book shelves. I could even live with the Lego Death Star — my son would go crazy for that.
But you have explained the infestation of children so very well. My house looks nothing like what I envisioned my home looking life — way back when I used to have dreams. *side eye*
All the money goes to making their clothes, backpacks, and toys fit in a organization mode that would rival an army base. Meanwhile, my bread maker, crock pot, and KitchenAid are sitting on my kitchen floor — patiently waiting for that appliance closet that will likely never be built.
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Oh my goodness you sound like me. For real. Ellen
Oh, you mademe giggle! According to you, I have suffered an extreme take over! Silly me, I thought Legos in the center of the table was a center piece! It’s a good thing I read it here before I pinned my new decorating advice!
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Pin it and it will be my favorite! Ellen
I’m having a “bad mommy” moment. Our extra fridge is still filled with beer and white wines. And, just now, I’m realizing that might not be the best thing considering all the teens in our house. :o/
Note to self: lock it up.
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At least inventory that stash! Ellen
Ha to the remodeling!! We are in the process of having a contractor turn the office into DD#1’s bedroom. We have now moved said office into the basement. Both adults work from home full time…..in the basement. The former office had a beautiful storm door allowing us to work daily warmed by the sun streaming in the office. Now…. we’re in the basement. Sigh.
Oh you win. And we’re sorry for you that you won. But I bet he will love that bedroom. Ellen
“Our Kids Mark Our Homes.” Brilliant concept. That is exactly what they do. I often flagellate myself because I’m not very good at making them pick up stuff. Makes me crazy. But like you, I love to have their art work and creativity surrounding me.
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I’m not kidding that I will miss it when it’s gone. Stop beating yourself up and enjoy. Ambivalent housekeepers unite! Ellen
I like your take on the list. Fun! It’s amazing how kids take over. But it does make for some serious entertainment…as you’ve recorded.
Thanks! We’re glad we could oblige.
Love the “hobo casino” and I think children’s art is beautiful. I’m serious. It doesn’t have to be my grandson’s art. Any children’s art. I mean, just look at that middle piece on your number 6 above. It has a certain Picasso flair, don’t you agree? Love it! Definitely worth the frame and proud display.
Love your post!
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Thank you! And thanks for giving a shout out to the Hobo Casino! Ellen
Why, gosh I did in fact relate to this entire post. Except your home is infinitely cleaner than mine. What is up with that? My children have taken it over and left it a mess! 😉
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It is ALL in the camera angle. Truly. Ellen
I just might have to steal your idea of the frames children’s picture (art). Adorable and I agree, it is art. Picaso has nothing on my 3 year old. 😉
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Everybody’s doing it! Frame it. Ellen
Well, I am a damn good mom, but I make a HUGE effort keeping the stickyness and messiness under control – my choice, I know. It’s for both my and the family’s sanity.
So far, a new toy comes in, a not-so-old one goes into a box.
So far, the “art work” has not been replaced or mingled with my other things, but I fear very soon I would find a stinky shoe in my bookcase.
Great list ladies.
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You are a wonder to behold. Especially about the “In with the New, Out with the Old.” Impressive. Ellen
I love the “theme” of your list!
Erin you are one organized woman. Our extra fridge is still used for ummmm MY beverages (tee hee) oh and water of course.
Wish I knew about magnetic paint Ellen and be sure to let me know the next time a game is happening at “Hobo Casino”. 😀
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Oh yes!! My son has his own bathroom and bedroom and yet he brushes his teeth in mine and would sleep in my bed too if given the choice. We have the same table decorations!! Trendy ha?
Love your spin on the topic ladies!!
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I can so identify with #8….but our decorations are up on our entertainment center. We’ve had a soda bottle rocket up there, lego creations, and other contraptions the kids have built. Looks very nice next to the framed pictures of family…:/
I think the death star centerpiece is one of the best I’ve seen. I May pin it for my inspiration later!
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My five year old walked by while I was reading this, and he almost saw the Death Star/Hogwarts picture. My heart is still racing from that close call!
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I LOVE that bed! Seriously.
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Those bookshelves are amazing! thanks for sharing!
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Great list! The fridge makes me cringe, because it is starting to look like I might inherit three more school-age children, which would mean 5 kids between 10 and 6… even if three are only part time! OY!
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Beautiful list, and I covet those bookshelves!!
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My favorite part about cleaning the house is that as soon as you get one room clean, it instantly becomes the kids favorite room and magically transforms into an unrecognizable oasis of all their favorite things!! (not my favorite part!) 🙂
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I’m not sure more truth could be crammed into a 10 point summary, my friend. The only thing I don’t identify with is a second fridge…but she’s only 9. As much as she plows through, I’m guessing that’s not too far in our future.
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