Hallo-Awkward-Ween Costumes
It’s Monday Listicle time and we had a hand in choosing the topic: Ten Halloween Costumes! You know the saying “Birds of a feather tweet together”? Just go with it. Well, we’re naming this feather “Fabulous” because we weren’t the only ones to suggest this. Robbie from Fractured Family Tales seconded our motion.
Then somewhere in the Twittersphere the same suggestion was made by Bridget from Twinisms and backed up by Brandee from One Crazy Kid.
Okay, so we acknowledge that this might not be the most creatively earth-shaking topic, but it’s Halloween and it’s fun and we can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with.
For us, we decided to go with the awkward side of Halloween because, quite frankly, we are of the age that many of our cutest Halloween pictures are not electronically saved because they were, gasp, captured on film. Erin’s scanner is not hooked up and Ellen’s scanner is on a lower shelf in her office and she is in no condition to get down on the floor for that. So to Pinterest we go!
Source: google.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
Ten Tremendously Awkward Halloween Costumes
Our original thought was to list these from least awkward to most, but dang, they are just all awful. We are going to start with the innocents who could not say no and who had no one of any sense to stand up for them.
1. You Can Dress a Pig Up
If a 9 year old girl did not stage this photo, then the awkward sadness oozing from this cannot be adequately expressed in words.
Source: via Sisterhood on Pinterest
2. Doubt His Farts Smell Like Rainbows
We find it a little sad to see animals dressed up, but the sorrow in this pooch’s eyes haunts us. But maybe this pug had it coming. That’ll teach him to pee on Aunt Gertrude’s heirloom Persian rug. And really, he could have run away; not to mention he has a little thing called fangs.
Source: google.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
3. Little Giblets
Now this poor baby had no defenses. What new mom or dad has enough sleep or fortitude to construct anything like this? And this definitely screams custom-made. Not a big market for transforming your offspring into entrees. Are you feeling the fear in his eyes?
Source: google.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
4. Emu Contortionist
The little Butterball above didn’t have a chance, but this capon made the choice for ridiculousness. This costume defines the meaning of the word awkward. Are you grasping that the person’s head is at the base of the fowl’s neck? And, oh yeah, the head is a shoe. But the kicker? Look UNDER the picture at the source we cited for this one. It’s subtle, but we are here to find ALL of the funny for you. This is the worst manifestation of party animal ever.
Source: sexycostumesclub.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
5. Couple of Boobs
This costume requires more commitment than a diamond ring and a mortgage. For it to make any sense, you are walking with your arms around each other. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. And you’re getting groped.
Source: postteenageliving.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
6. Creepier Than Chuckie
We cannot even imagine what went into the decision making process for this get-up. We do know what was NOT involved in the planning: Testosterone.
Source: via Sisterhood on Pinterest
7. Chainmail Can’t Protect You From Awkward
The one problem with this? Lack of commitment. Where is the chainmail diaper? But we are just pulling your leg, there’s a moat-load wrong here.
Source: google.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
We know we said it was impossible to rate these from least awkward to most, but really, these last three are the grand finale . . .
8. Precocious Prophylactic
So much wrong in such a skinny wrapper. Can you feel the awkwardness of the neighbors having to pass candy out to this? Bright side? He’s been offered an after-school job at the local health center.
Source: google.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
9. Bakery Fail
If the previous costume was screaming for a call to Child Protective Services, this one begs for a Health Department write-up. Why exactly does her belly have to be naked?
Source: pregnancy.about.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
10.Words Fail Us
Source: google.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest
We love you, so we won’t leave you with that last image. Here’s Stasha’s button. Go check to see if the other bloggers had less disturbing takes on this topic.
By Ellen Williams Erin Dymowski
Once again: What are people thinking?
Ginger Kay recently posted..Monkey in the Middle
If only all of that effort could be used for good.
Ellen
That last one was so bad
The definition of bad. Ellen
WOW to the last one. And the condom one. Sheeesh.
(Okay, I kind of like the guinea pigs and pug. I can’t help it.) But for the record, I’ve never actually dressed an animal up before.
Mayor Gia recently posted..Totally Random Costume Ideas
I kinda secretly liked the pig and the pug, too, but they looked sad. But thank you for setting the record straight. Don’t be an animal costumer.
Ellen
Do you suppose the condom wrapper on the tot is meant to explain why he was a surprise baby?
Cynthia Meents recently posted..Random Blog Prompt FRIDAY! (So there, Alyssa!)
That is a very generous explanation.
Ellen
You double Es are brilliant! I still haven’t started my post for the same reason – hello, my best pics are pre-digital! I can’t pull that off so quickly. But you are awesome! But the condom, those parents should be committed. That’s just sick!
Stacie @ Snaps and Bits recently posted..Yogurt Covered Versatility
The couple of boobs are real dicks aren’t they?
Bwahahahaha, sorry about the poor play on words.
Alison recently posted..Are You Judging Me?
Bwahahaha-ing right along with you! Ellen
Love it! Funny you!!
Stasha recently posted..Monday Listicles
Hahaha! The boobs! That does take commitment. What’s up with the trojan kid?! Wrong. Wrong wrong.
My fave was the boobs but #10 – wow, left me speechless! Too funny!
Emily recently posted..Comparing Notes: A First Pair of Eyeglasses
These are crazy! Great list!
Kate recently posted..My Dream Job Is NOT Fecal Sample Extractor
LOL! I love these.. I just came across that last one today… crazy. And I can’t believe #7, seriously what were his parents thinking??? Great list!!
Karen @ Desert Chica Ramblings recently posted..Family Halloween Costume Idea Roundup
One word: ERMAGHERD!
Lisa C recently posted..List #48: Ten Halloween Costumes
Those are some awkward costumes! I don’t think I could chose which one is the most awkward, either!
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..10 Halloween Costumes – Date Night!
Awkward is an understatement for these costumes!
Robbie recently posted..Fragmented Friday
Love it. I mean eeeeewwwww, but totally cracked up with each one. Except the last one. That I need a shower.
I was going to do ten costumes I would NEVER wear but I realized it would be basically adult store catalog…
Stasha recently posted..Monday Listicles
I’m with Emily ^^. The boobs cracked me up and number 10…I hope I can sleep tonight. ;P
Diane recently posted..Halloween Costumes #Monday Listicles
The condom one just seemed wrong…funny but wrong…
Wayne recently posted..Monday Quiz
ALL awkward for sure! But numbers 8 and 10 are beyond awkward. There are just no words.
Diane@BeStillaMinute recently posted..10 Hallowiener Costumes
I laughed out loud, I gasped in astonishment and I snorted in all the right places. Your captions/titles took the show though! This was hysterical. You guys are the best!
Ducky recently posted..A Fairy, A Geisha, and Wonder Woman
These are SO FUNNY! I have to hand it to that last one. Wow! That’s really committing to an idea!
(I really like the couple of boobs, though)
The Dose of Reality recently posted..I’ll Stop The World And Melt With You
#5 looks like something from Britney Spears and Kevin Federline’s marriage. seriously, they look like them…and they’re boobs as well
Lance recently posted..Feel The Pain
wow that last one is hilarious!
Wow–these are truly awful! Just when I think I’ve seen the worst (baby turkey), it gets even worse (pair of boobs, child in a Trojan wrapper)!!
OMG those are awful costumes! Poor baby turkey! And Trojan boy! How embarrassing for those kids!
Audrey recently posted..Monday Listicles- Halloween Costumes
OMG. Just, OMG. I mean the pug / unicorn was terrible but the baby / turkey right after was terrifying. And the last three? No words.
But really, a few words about that last one, WTF. Seriously, WHAT – THE – F***
As usual I love you guys!
BonnyBard recently posted..Some things you simply don’t want to forget.
Loved the bun in the oven!! That was clever! The 2 boobs wasn’t bad either and made me laugh. And the last one – well I think if you and Frank showed up with that costume for Kanjarpalooza – it would be hysterical!!
Okay, I didn’t think much could top the emu, but those last three costumes are NUTS!
Leslie recently posted..Halloween Costumes for a 3-Year Old