10 Questionably Amazing Memories

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For Monday Listicles, Ducky, the maestro of sass and humor at Batcrap Crazy, suggested “10 Amazing memories from not so long ago.”

Hmmm. When you think amazing, you think of wonderful blessings like rainbows and microbrewed beer. Things that radiate positivity. So, we started making a list of memories and it was long and it was great, BUT it was booooor-ing. And we wanted you to be amazingly entertained. We needed a different angle.

So when all else fails, turn to the dictionary. (Okay, we all know we Googled it, but we like to pretend we’re old school.)

Amazing: adjective – Causing great surprise or wonder; astonishing.

 

So we’re going with memories that evoked surprise, wonder or astonishment retold with our own measure of sass and humor.

Our Version of 10 Amazing Memories

 1. Ellen remembers the time Erin punked her.

We were forming our LLC and I had the paperwork for Erin to sign. We live about 35 minutes apart and our  schedules for that week were so crazy that we were hard pressed to find a time to meet. Erin chimed in that her high schooler’s soccer team was playing my daughter’s school and we could meet at the game. She thought the game was at my school and I told her she was wrong. About 5 different times. In five different ways. She insisted the game was in my neck of the woods. Before I left my house to meet her at my high school, I texted her with “Are you sure the game location is changed?” She replied, “Yep.”

Against my better judgement, I drove to my school and trekked out to the soccer field which is so far removed from the parking lot that I recommend packing a snack and a fully charged cell phone before setting out.  Squinting, I could faintly see kids running around, but as I got closer, I saw ponytails. It was the girls’ soccer team. Practicing.

Whipping my fully charged phone out, my “Where the bleep are you?” was met by her innocent “Where are you?” She thought her “Yep” clarified that the game was indeed at her school. She thought that even though I could not spare 17 minutes to meet her halfway between our houses,  I was suddenly willing to make the 90 minute round trip to her son’s school to collect her signature.   On the I’d-like-to-make-a-voodoo-doll side, at least I got to wait at the school for 40 minutes for my daughter to finish her volleyball practice.  I do not wonder if the rest of what I said was blazed upon her brain forever.

2. Erin remembers a time when she could keep her calendar straight.

So with exhibit A (see above) still fresh in everyone’s memory, I proceeded to punk my husband, Steve, as well. As I set off to the cross country championships with the girl child, I sent Steve to the soccer fields with the four boys and a crappy, erroneous game schedule. Steve pieced together the REAL schedule through luck and ingenuity for 3 of the 4 boys, but there was a victim in this fiasco: the kindergartener who missed his game completely. Never mess with a hyper-verbal kindergartner. Poor Steve not only had to deal with unraveling the cryptic schedule but the fallout from an irate five year old as well. When I saw them hours later, the little one busted through the door and announced,  “Daddy can’t take me to soccer anymore.” Steve gave me the look that long-marrieds recognize as “this one is going on the list”. Yikes!

And no one ever listened to me cite a soccer schedule again. Phase 1 of trying to rid myself of the job of Master Scheduler complete. Mwahaahaahaa.

3. Ellen remembers a time when 25 minutes was not added to each round trip to her kids’ school.

I might not have gotten so peeved about the soccer screw-up if I had not been having time sucked away by the detour to the school. Sucked away like gerbil hair attacked by a Dyson on steroids.

Three days before school began in August, the rinky-dink bridge over the trickling saliva stream of a creek on my road was closed for replacement. That bridge is still closed. I make up to three round trips to that school each weekday and sometimes on Saturdays. I have lost days worth of minutes, People.

Think of the awesome blog posts I could have written! Think of all llamas I could have pinned on Pinterest! Think of all the laundry I could have done! Wait, I’m now thinking of all of the times I could have used this as an excuse.

4. Erin remembers a time when her kids were all in the same school. On the same schedule.

With the same days off. With half the paperwork and emails from administrators. With the same drop-off and pick-up times. <sigh> Those were the days. Talk about a time suck. Love you high school.

5. Ellen remembers a time when she had regular  Friday date nights.

Speaking of loving high school, ALL activities, competitions, dances, parties, and tournaments seem to fall on Fridays. Wait, I’m exaggerating. A gagillion events consume Saturday nights too. Ironically, just when I no longer need a babysitter, my babies’ social calendars override mine.

6. Ellen remembers when she had an appendix and her house was not such a wreck.

My friends, my husband, and my children did an excellent job of keeping our lives running after my surgery, but let’s just say a lot of of things just got pushed to the periphery. And might now be overflowing to the center. A cleaning service would not be turned away.

7. Ellen remembers when she could run.

My appendectomy put a serious hurting on my half marathon training and therefore is putting a serious strain on my waistbands.

8. Ellen remembers when she could fit into this costume.

Yeah, not running is not a good thing. Coco (14) did have to cinch it quite a bit, so maybe I haven’t lost that much ground. Just put on your happy face and nod.

Caution: Only wear costumes you would like to see your daughter wear. Or at the very least add leggings, t-shirts, and boots. Or better yet, just burn them after you wear them. But Super Twix is pretty awesome.

 

9. Ellen remembers when she could find her shoes, jewelry, and make-up.

Coco doesn’t just take my old Halloween costumes.

10. Erin remembers when these pants fit.

I spent Labor Day weekend shopping furiously to piece together some semblance of a work wardrobe for the job I didn’t know I was going to have until three days before school started. All went well and I found a fair number of great pieces including these pants which fit perfectly that day. Now, two months in, they look like this. Some fabulous combo of stress, work, and regular exercise have transpired to create this situation. Or it could be a tapeworm. Either way, I’m not complaining

10% less Erin. 10% more crazy.

 

Amazing right? Check out what other nuggets of amazing are on Monday Listicles this week.

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39 thoughts on “10 Questionably Amazing Memories”

  1. Runnermom-jen

    Great job on the weight loss, Erin (although I really hope it’s not a tapeworm ;))
    And #4…my kids are in this stage right now. I’m dreading the days they aren’t.
    The Twix costume? AWESOME!!
    Runnermom-jen recently posted..I Remember…My Profile

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    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Erin looks great, right? And in a flip-flop, I spent the last three years with my kids in different schools (they did have the same days off, but they had different start and end times). They are now in the same location and it is so much better! Now if only that stupid bridge would open, I think I might claim that I live in Mommy Nirvana. Ellen

      Reply ↓
  6. Bridget

    The schedule. Oh the dreaded schedule, and pick ups, and driving forever, and miscommunication! Ugh. Just yesterday I sent Dal to pick up Taryn at the movies. He went to the wrong theatre. I swear I told him. Probably. Maybe. Possibly told him which one…
    Bridget recently posted..Monday ListiclesMy Profile

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  7. Ducky

    Whoot to tha whoooo on pants that are too big! And how awesomely adorable is the Twix idea?! I’ve made a mental note on the costume and daughter thing. Thankfully there are a few for which there is no photographic evidence!
    Ducky recently posted..I’ve Got Swagger…My Profile

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  14. Delilah

    I nodded my way through your list. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools and 1 at home full time this year. There isn’t a calendar known to man that will keep all that junk straight. And Erin, I would totally take a tapeworm if it meant I could fit into my skinny pants. snort.
    Delilah recently posted..Storing Up Amazing MemoriesMy Profile

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  16. Marie

    You never fail to make me chuckle. Your blog is one of my Monday listicles favorites!

    I envy you this thing of “having-all-kids-in-one-school.” I have two out of three of my sons in the same school for two years (elementary school). That’s the extent of it. Enjoying it while it lasts!!

    Ellen, my house looks like that all the time. Seriously. I love the fact that my hubby is a stay-at-home dad, but I don’t think he places cleaning on quite as high a priority as I might.

    Congrats on the weight loss. Are you sure they didn’t take out your appendix, too?
    Marie recently posted..10 amazing memories from a not-so-distant pastMy Profile

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  20. Sarah @sundayspill

    You guys crack me up. And please don’t talk about the crazy schedules! For the time being I have everyone tucked away at one school. It’s nice and neat and cozy. And I like it that way 🙂 p.s. you both look fab!

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  27. monica

    SO glad to discover you b/c of Listicles! You are so much fun…and Now I’m going back and getting a laugh out of all of your stuff. Makes me want a sister to blog with! (or a sister at all–I’ve go only brothers, AND only sons! HELP! :))
    ALOHA, and see you again soon!

    Reply ↓
    1. The Sisterhood Post author

      Well, you are in luck because we aren’t related – we’re friends. There’s hope for you finding a partner. But I do have to admit that it is a very special person whom you can blog with and REMAIN friends. 🙂 Ellen

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