Don’t catch that back-to-school cleaning bug just yet! Here are 9 reasons NOT to clean out that minivan.
1) Theft deterrent.
Nothing stops a thief faster than the stench of fermenting cleats. Effective and no danger of accidentally blaring in the middle of the night like your average car alarm. However, there is a slight danger you may faint away every time you open the door.
2) Filing system.
You never know when you’re going to have to prove you paid for those fundraiser funnel cakes. So keep those school forms and canceled checks at your fingertips, or at least shoved between the seats and in the glove box . . . because it would be crazy to drive around with a filing cabinet.
3) Nothing solves cranky better than a snack.
In our experience, the farther you are from a place that sells anything food-like is in direct proportion to the volume of your child whining that he is “STARVING.” So because it’s frowned upon to duct-tape your kids’ mouths shut, those extra peanut butter crackers are a much better solution.
The Sour Patch Kids were chosen for their silencing power, not their nutritional value. Obviously. The apples and edamame are out of frame.
4) It’s electrifying.
Is it worth the risk of sucking a charger up to vacuum those crumbs? Not on a back road with the Friday the 13th theme song playing it’s not.
5) Body fluids happen.
It’s a Parenting Law of Physics: if it goes in, it’s coming out. . .at the least convenient time in the most epic way. You are gonna need that extra dinosaur t-shirt one day or another, so leave that extra laundry wedged between, under, and behind the seats.
Erin has 5 kids. There are LOTS of wardrobe catastrophes.
6) Hydration DOESN’T just happen.
Would you rather: tote your gaggle of kids into Quik-y Mart for a $3 bottle of water OR select one from the stash rolling around in the back? Exactly.
Is it hydration or is it art?
7) You’ve gotta have friends.
Who’s gonna keep you company in carpool line if you get rid of all the action figures and Barbie dolls?
8) Media library-mobile.
You’ve got a magazine, DVD, CD, and book for every occasion. And yes, an iPad could fill all of those roles, but you like kickin’ it old school. Bonus: you have materials for a bonfire if you breakdown on the side of the road.
And along those delusional lines . . .
9) If a tsunami delivers you to the crest of the Andes, you could live for a week on what’s in there.
-Ellen and Erin
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Signing my song. What will I feed my kids now that I’ve even gone so far as to clean out the cup holders in the booster seats?
Nicole Shaw recently posted..Urban Moo Cow and The Pigeon Loves Things that Go
The cycle begins anew for you. New treasures are waiting to be stored, smashed, spilled, and smeared. Never fear. Ellen
Now let me give you one reason to clean it out.. projectile weapons. In the event of a crash anything in the vehicle not enclosed or well contained in netting or whatever has the ability to become an airborne projectile. In a wreck as slow as 10 miles an hour can produce flying dangers that seemed harmless when you put them there. Tell me how horrible would you feel if you did all the right things on safety and seat belts and the like to have a can of soda fly out from the back and cause severe physical damage, even breaking bones because their speed is completely contigent on their size, weight and angle of direction..
Southern Angel recently posted..Finish the Sentence Friday… If I had a magic wand…
Good thing we did clean out the bags of broken glass and lead pipes. Ellen
The one upside to having a 12-passenger van is we can store even more survival gear. We even have the 4yo’s bike in there, just in case we break down and he needs to go get help for us. 🙂
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Now THAT is a survival plan. Ellen
Ha! This gave me a smile today. I love time savers.
We are sensible that way. 🙂 Ellen
Hilarious! The FBI could track my husband’s whereabouts based on 10 years of crap in his car!
Thank you for seeing the humor in this and adding to it. Ellen
It’s really freaking me out that you managed to take pictures of my minivan & i didn’t even see you!
Robbie recently posted..My Parenting Advice
Anytime I try clearing out the minivan my neighbors always start yelling at me to get out of their car. You can’t win.
Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point recently posted..No Thank You on the Thank You, Thank You
Ahhhh, the water bottles. I’m gonna say there are 4 rolling around in my SUV right now. Thanks for convincing me I need to retain them for future use. But mostly, thanks for the laugh.
Toulouse recently posted..Mumbling Through Marriage
Thank you for the water bottle pic, I just realized I am not adequately using all my available space for 1/2 drank bottles.
Right though? Ellen
Yes! Every last one of these has totally saved me. I’ve been on a cleaning spree that hasn’t made it to the car yet… and now I don’t think it’s gonna!
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You’re welcome. 😉 Ellen