We have reached the point of summer where we are ready to fly a white flag and surrender. Visions of summer fun are fermenting under a stack of musty pool towels, those dreams of beautiful family memories are fading, and the natives are more than restless. Hang in there, though. There is still much to love about the season. So pull yourself together, here are 10 reasons to be grateful summer isn’t over yet.
1. You can just add water.
One of summer’s finest points. From cranky toddlers to truculent teens, nothing will cure what ails them like a little H20. So feel free to toss those puppies into the nearest watering hole. Just make sure you keep them safe .
2. You can appreciate nature.
Summer is when Nature is all dressed up and ready to party. Hungry for a gorgeous view? Got a hankering for some sparkling blue water? Just get thee and thine out into the Great Outdoors and drink it all in. Bonus: nature is the perfect buffer for your herd of traveling monkeys. Besides when you are hitting a trail, you can always hang back and pretend all that noise is coming from somebody else’s kid.
3. You can appreciate science.
Big shout-out to chemistry for protecting our kids from summer’s dangers with a marinade of DEET, chlorine, and SPF. Brussel Sprouts should totally counteract this.
4. You can toss your calendar.
Hitting snooze to our heart’s content, pushing back bedtimes in favor of chasing lightning bugs, and generally ignoring our to-do lists, we barely recognize ourselves in the summer. We love the easy, breezy nature of schedules with a little more wiggle room. Of course, this also gives our kids the freedom to constantly bug us for sleepovers. Nothing says easy like a house full of other people’s kids.
5. You can hit the road.
Erin jokes that her Native American name would be Have Minivan, Will Travel, while Ellen fills our Instagram feed with her travel exploits. But whether you are traveling internationally with a a big brood or just down the street with a more travel-sized crew, there are still days left to make great family memories.
6. You can keep cool and carry on.
God bless air conditioning for preventing fratricide and swamp butt. Our kids appreciate living to see the light of a new day and, well, crack sweat is not attractive on anybody.
7. You can channel your inner Olympian.
Nothing like a little international sports competition to kick your crew off Netflix for awhile. You can use the month-long celebration of athletic excellence to align everybody’s TV viewing habits or even inspire a little Olympic spirit among your own people.
8. You can have the Good Eats.
With fresh fruits and veggies available all season long, this is the time to really get excited about food. These recipes are some of our favorites!
9. You can actually read Good Books.
Summer’s more relaxed pace means that you might actually make it to the bottom of that pile of books on your bedside table. Here are some sizzling reads we are loving this summer.
10. You can admire the sunsets.
Nothing tames the beasts or quiets the soul quite like a setting sun, especially over the water.
So take a deep breath and remember that summer’s time is fleeting. Make the most of its last few moments: you’ll be packing backpacks before you know it!
Hey! Want to buy our new book? I Just Want to Be Perfect brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.
This time last year, my family was altogether for a pretty big moment: my brother Jonathan asked his girlfriend Kelly to marry him. Almost immediately after all the hugs, high-fives, and champagne toasts, Steve pulled out his calculator and started crunching numbers. With my brother and Kelly living in San Diego, a cool 3,000 miles from us on the East Coast, we would be booking airfares and lodging times seven in our near future. Then things got interesting: they were doing a destination wedding in Cancun, Mexico. Yay! And, gulp! Now we weren’t just googling great fares, but how to get a crew our size to another country. The sad truth is that there is not that much help to be found on the internet if your group is more super-sized than travel-sized. Here are some of the things we learned about how to travel internationally with a large family.
1. Plan Ahead
Though this one has been drilled into us from a lifetime of trying to go, well, anywhere, getting a brood the size of a basketball team to a tropical destination meant we had to take our planning game to the next level.
Pace yourself. Free-wheeling, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants travel is for young adults and moms on the lam. We were making lists and checking them twice from about 10 minutes after we got the first text about the wheres and whens and we didn’t stop double-checking them until we landed safely back home.
One important part of this phase was thinking through the travel process itself. We made sure to download movies and podcasts and create playlists for everybody’s tech. Then we picked out books, magazines, snacks, and gum. We loaded backpacks with all of this and then threw in a deck of cards and some plain sketchbooks. Keeping the campers happy during the not-so-fun parts of travel was key to peace in our moveable kingdom.
Give yourself loads of time any time you try to go anywhere. Remember the “20-per-kid” rule. For every child you are trying to get out the door, you need to add at least 20 minutes to your “out the door” time. Somebody is sure to be faster, but that just gives you back precious minutes for your “slower than molasses but we love him anyway” child. Nothing destroys the memories you are trying to make faster than a screaming mother trying to get everyone out the door in time to meet a flight or dinner reservation.
Pay attention to the details. Like. . .
Passports Everybody needs one obviously BUT what if some of you already have one. We almost got punked with this one. Steve’s passport was set to expire about a month after our trip. While you can use your passport up to the date inside the cover, many countries will deny travelers entry if the passport expires in less than six months. Avoid unfortunate, uncomfortable, and expensive consequences and make sure you renew your passport at least nine months prior to the expiration date.
ALSO, and this is HUGE, find a small regional passport office (often a post office) that will let you schedule your appointment. Even though many passport offices will let you just walk in, these are not for you. Also, have all paperwork filled out, all necessary documents (birth certificates and social security cards), and bring the passport photos with you. We did ours at the local Walgreens. Yes, you can get them at the passport office but this slows the already slow process down to a stultifying crawl. Don’t break your people before you have even left native soil.
Fraud alerts. Steve works for a large bank and he has worked in fraud divisions before, so he clued us into the importance of this one. Let your credit card company’s fraud department know what countries you will be visiting and when including any countries you might be changing planes in. This way, they won’t flag your card as stolen and cut you off from funds just when you need them the most.
Flight restrictions We scoured the website to make sure we understood everything we needed to know about who could bring what, luggage sizes, etc.
No restrictions on taking pictures during flight. The ones my kids took during take-off and landing are among my favorites of the whole trip.
Be the early bird. For dinner, flights, tours, and just about anything, be ready to get that worm. Understand that your group is large, unwieldy, and largely unwelcome in the world of travel packages built for 4. Google and read travel reviews about what time to arrive and then plan on getting there at least thirty minutes beforethat. For flights, we were there an hour earlier than the recommended time (usually three hours, but at least two for international flights).
Be flexible. We met twenty of our relatives in Mexico for the wedding, so meal planning was complicated. We used What’s App to coordinate meals, beach time, and wedding to-dos. Our resort also had a great a la carte restaurant on site which was perfect for trying to get everyone together for meals that accommodated picky 7-year-olds and particular retirees alike.
Decide what you are doing about data. While checking out our cellphone plan to solve our “insane international data charges but Instagram-loving teens” dilemma, we discovered that our resort had a special app that could be downloaded to use social media without incurring international roaming charges.
BEST NEWS EVER!
2. Travel Light and SMART
Consolidate where you can. Despite the fancy clothes we would be bringing for the wedding, the rest of our clothing would be bathing suits, cover-ups, and clothes to go to dinner. This meant that we could pack the two youngest boys together in one suitcase, a worthy goal. Make “less is more” your vacation motto.
Plan on checking at least one bag. The idea of trying to fit all of our liquid needs to TSA standards was stressful. Because we were able to get us all into 2 rooms, we decided that we would bite the fees and check 2 bags, one for each room. This meant that each room would have all the big bottles of sunscreen, medications, and toiletries needed without having to worry about fluid ounces or special baggies.
Fly fancy. It’s just good travel advice in general to pay attention to the local customs about what is appropriate attire for dinner, visiting churches, holy places, etc. Our resort did not allow flip-flops or t-shirts at dinner which meant everyone needed at least one nice, closed toe shoe and a collared shirt. We made the decision to fly “dressed-up” so that our bags wouldn’t be as heavy.
We usually save the collared shirts and fancy hats for family parties.
Get the good luggage. Ellen knows the sad state of our luggage. As an intrepid traveler, she has many pieces of good luggage perfect for travel and she lent them to us. Good, rolling luggage and carry-ons make a huge difference when herding your cats through an airport or hotel lobby. We loved especially the underseat carry-on which was perfect for our 12-year-old. Roomy enough to fit all the clothes for him and his brother, it also meant I didn’t need to worry about him hitting any seatmates in the head as he tried to stow it overhead, or worse yet, worry about snagging overhead storage at all.
Pack smart. We had everybody pack and then take three things out of their bag. Except for the 8 year old who took out three pieces of underwear, this system was solid gold. Ellen also has a great tip that really saved space. We had a goal to only take 6 bags total. By checking 2 of them, we were down to only 4 bags going through the TSA line which was a huge help, especially considering that the college-aged kid forgot he had a water bottle in his backpack and was detained for a bit.
Protect travel documents. We made copies of all travel documents, then we gave all the actual passports to my husband Steve to distribute to each person right before they were needed. He immediately collected everything again after they were no longer immediately needed.
On the way to Mexico, the flight attendants didn’t give us our country entrance documents until we were disembarking, and the scene below ensued. On our way back, we got smart and asked for them while we were on the plane.
No, we aren’t a spectacle at all filling out our country entrance documents.
3. Honor your travelers.
Preserve bedtimes, routines, rituals. As much as you can obviously. All will benefit from happy, well-fed, well-rested kids. This even applies to older kids. Don’t plan a 9am museum visit knowing that punchy teens buck at the mere suggestion of being out the door that early.
When they are done, let them be. A lot of travel is overwhelming. Give them space and time to decompress.
Flower girl-ing and vacationing is a lot for a 7-year-old. This baby needs some pool time.
Let them do vacation their way.
We have teens and young adults, in addition to younger kids. We took the pretty pictures with my fancy DSLR, but I think I might love some of the ones my kids took of the trip even more. Let them show you the trip through their eyes.
Snapchat filters aren’t just for stateside fun anymore!
Make the experience of traveling part of the overall fun. Travel is great . . . and boring and confounding and frustrating too sometimes. We tried to make the parts that weren’t as much fun still interesting especially when we saw the troops fading.
Long lines getting into the country just meant there was time for cool photo opps.
AND one more piece of advice,
JUST DO IT!
We are ever so grateful not just that we were able to see my brother and his beautiful bride get married, but that we had the chance to create such a wonderful family memory. The truth is that despite all jokes to the contrary, all families are travel-sized. Don’t let your sheer volume deter you. Slow, steady, and steely-eyed will get you and your plentiful peeps over that finish line known as a great international family vacation.
Hey! Want to buy our new book? I Just Want to Be Perfect brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that
showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.
A little over two weeks ago, while taking my daily walk to try and get in my 10,000 steps, I had a “wince and curse” kind of fall. All apologies to baby Jesus and any other soul who was in earshot but I was at least a mile and a half from home with no cellphone and a little free-flowing blood action happening below the knee, so I pulled out the top shelf expletives. With this build-up, you might think that I would high-tail it to the doctor. Unfortunately, I let my eternal optimism override my common sense. I decided that the fact that I was able to walk home meant that I did not in fact have a medical situation requiring attention, gaping wound hole be damned. Apparently, despite having parented for over 19 years and through several ER trips with my kids, learning when a cut needs stitches is a lesson I would be learning the hard way.
Lucky for me, I saw Ellen a few days later. One look and gasp from Ellen told me that I was in trouble. One “you know I wrote a post about this already” told me I was in deep. The fact that I had a wound that was large, deep, and not closing was an issue. An even bigger issue was that I would be traveling to Mexico in 3 days with a gaping wound. Ruh-roh.
Mexico or bust for the family wedding!
“You will be going to your primary physician tomorrow, right?” Ellen said.
The next day, my ego took quite the hit as I had to explain OVER and OVER and OVER again to a multitude of concerned and confounded medical personnel my decision to not get medical attention right away. There really was no excuse for it. I know that there is a small window for getting stitches. I know that if you miss that window, you still need medical attention. I know that missing the window increases the risks for infection and scarring. Sometimes, knowing isn’t enough. I waited, because it was inconvenient at the time to make the time.
You also run the risk of reopening the wound. This is the picture of my cut over a week later after I slipped on some wet tile on the way to dinner. Yikes!
BUT because I waited, I had to have my wound flushed out with hydrogen peroxide and the necrotic tissue debrided (y’all can google that if you want. It’s dang nasty, and it hurts!) I needed to take 4 doses of antibiotic a day PLUS a topical antibiotic PLUS I had to wear a waterproof bandage the size of a small island nation every time I even looked at water. Yay, this girl really knows how to cue up a fun international vacation with her family!
This was the type of family fun I almost missed from my stupidity. Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!
Seriously though, learn from my lapse in judgment, read Ellen’s article, use her easy checklist to assess your wound, and then take the time to get the attention your wound requires.
Hey! Want to buy our new book? I Just Want to Be Perfect brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.
What’s that, friends? You feel that gorgeous sunshine on your back and hear those birds chirping? Yup, it’s officially SUMMER! And to all the readers of the world, that means one very, very important thing: it’s time to dig into that summer reading list. These must-read books will brighten your summer as surely as ours!
Been a little too distracted by the end-of-school insanity to bone up on what all hot summer reads are? No sweat! We’ve got you covered. Twenty of us blogging gals have teamed up with The Mom of the Year and Normal Level of Crazy virtual monthly book club to create a list of exactly what belongs on your summer reading list. Not only do these books come highly recommended (along with the reason you need to be reading them!), we are giving eleven of them away to one of you, along with a $225 Amazon giftcard. We know, it’s insanely awesome! More details on the giveaway at the end of the post. For now, log into Goodreads, grab a notepad or settle in with however you track your to-read list and start adding these titles.
20 Books that Belong on Your Summer Reading List:
Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientologyby Leah Remini (Toulouse and Tonic) is a GREAT summer read. Leah Remini doesn’t hold anything back, from her decades-long experience with Scientology to celeb encounters along the way, especially experiences within Scientology. If you want to hear all the dish on Tom Cruise, including his “Scientology arranged and groomed” girlfriend and then his marriage to Katie Holmes, get the book now. Her honesty and lack of pretense is refreshing. I couldn’t put it down!
The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin (The Not So Super Mom) This is a bit of a quirky book, but it is perfectly quirky without falling into the creepy or just plain confusing. A.J. Fikry is not the most immediately likable character but you find yourself rooting for him (and his bookstore) anyway. I appreciated that he was a bit of an oddball, because who in our lives isn’t without their own idiosyncrasies? I enjoyed the themes in this book–loss, romance, mystery–all peppered with humor and the format–each chapter moves the story forward in time and serves as an ode to one of Fikry’s favorite books–was different but enjoyable to any book lovers who try to find themselves in the stories they read.
Smart Women by Judy Blume (Meraki Lane) I was a huge Judy Blume fan when I was a kid (Starring Sally J. Freedman As Herself was my favorite!), so it’s no surprise I jumped with joy when I discovered she writes novels for adults as well, and this book did NOT disappoint. If you like a light read with a little racy romance thrown in, this is the perfect summer pick!
A Window Opens by Elizabeth Egan (Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms) With its light, breezy touch, infinitely likable characters, and easily recognizable tensions, this book will sink its stealthy hooks into you and then spit you out an afternoon later. You will adore Alice, her kids, and her very believable relationship with her husband as much as we do. This may not be ground-breaking fiction, but it is a wholly satisfying, utterly delicious piece of literary pie.
Beyond the Break by Kristen Mae (Kristen Mae) Quoted from Melissa Mowry of One Mother to Another‘s review on Amazon: “This book absolutely crushed me. The writing is hauntingly beautiful and full of depth, with well-rounded characters and gorgeous imagery. As a card-carrying heterosexual, I expected to feel a little squirmy about the girl-on-girl aspect and was just reading because I love this author’s writing. I was SO WRONG. The sex was, in a word, mind-blowing. None of that lazy, euphemistic smut book language (you won’t find talk of anyone’s blossoming flower here) just seriously hot, almost artistic love scenes. Hazel is a flawed but loveable main character with a haunting past and so much dimension. Claire is absolutely magnetic; even I was attracted to her. You owe yourself the pleasure–and I do mean pleasure–of reading this book. It will change everything you thought you knew about love, sexual attraction, and chemistry.”
Summer Sisters by Judy Blume (Herd Management)Summer Sisters provides a fascinating view into the inner workings and dynamics of a close female friendship over the duration of their journey from young teens into adulthood. Many women will be able to relate to the power that female friends have over one another’s hearts, and their ability to shatter them completely sometimes. Riveting, relatable, and emotional.
The Weekenders by Mary Kay Andrews (Confessions of a Mommyaholic) This summer/beach town set book is the absolute perfect read this summer while you are sitting beach or poolside that is filled with just enough intrigue, suspense, drama, romance and more.
Mud Vein by Tarryn Fisher (See Mom Click) This is one of those books that draws you in and won’t let go, even after you’ve put it down. Senna Richard wakes up on her 33rdbirthday, locked in a house in the snow in the middle of nowhere, full of clues she has to piece together to gain her freedom. Not just a mystery, but a rip-your-heart-out love story, the author keeps you guessing while you become totally wrapped up in these characters’ lives.
Dear Mr. You by Mary-Louise Parker (Shakespeare’s Mom) In this collection of personal essays, Parker writes beautifully about her encounters and relationships with various men in her life – everyone from her grandfather to ex-boyfriends, to, in an essay that manages to be both brutal and hilarious, a male goat. I read the whole book in one day. I had to ignore my children and personal hygiene to do it, but finding myself sucked into the book’s spellbinding word-webs was totally worth it.
Not Without My Father by Andra Watkins (Andra Watkins) This story is a great summer read because we all struggle with loved ones. It’s an easy, yet poignant, read that changes a lot of people.
Totto-chan: The Little Girl at the Window by Tetsuko Kuroyangi (Femme Frugality) This true story of alternative education in WWII era Japan serves to inspire. If you’ve ever known a kid that doesn’t seem to fit into a traditional education system, Tetsuko Kuroyangi’s story will warm your heart and give you hope. Kuroyangi, after getting kicked out of a traditional school, grew up to be one of Japan’s media sweethearts and a great, hands-on philanthropist.
A Desperate Fortune by Susanna Kearsley (The Whimsy One) will take you on a waltz between present day and the 18th century as Sara (present day) tries to decipher a journal written by Mary during the Jacobites uprising in Paris (1732) what she discovers in the handwritten pages is not at all what she was expecting.
Summerlong by Dean Bakopoulos (Jana Says) I fell in love with this author after reading another one of his books but this one, a stunning, sad, sometimes funny, heartbreaking, (mostly) realistic portrayal of a marriage in crisis and its subsequent implosion during a summer long Midwestern heatwave, solidified him in my top 5 favorite authors.
What Alice Forgot By Liane Moriarty (Tamara (Like) Camera) This book gripped me – I felt all the joys and pains. I recommended it to both of my sisters who are still postpartum.
Mosquitoland by David Arnold (Kiss My List) You will not regret spending an afternoon curled up with this smart, funny, and poignant novel about a teenage girl’s bus ride back to her mom in Cleveland. Mim’s journey from Mississippi is filled with people who could be fascinating main characters in their own books.
Before the Fall by Noah Hawley (The Golden Spoons) Hawley alternates between perspectives of different characters as well as switches from past to present in this story of 11 people – some connected, some seemingly out of place – whose lives are changed or lost when their private jet goes down in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Martha’s Vineyard on a foggy August night.
The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith (The Lieber Family) This second Cormoran Strike novel follows our detective as he investigates the disappearance and later death of a controversial, not-well liked author whose last novel didn’t have anything nice to say about…well, anyone!
You: A Novel by Caroline Kepnes (Pulling Taffy) If you love a good, creepy thriller, with an occasional chuckle, this is a great summer read. By the end you will be rooting for the serial killer and hoping his intended victim dies (Please. End. Her. Incessant. Whining.)
The Show by Filip Syta (Normal Level of Crazy) I’m taken by Amazon’s description of the book, “Think of the greatest tech company in the world. Imagine getting a job there. Picture the perks: free gourmet food, free booze, a gym, a swimming pool, and a holiday bonus . . . every month. Brilliant coworkers. No dress code. Great parties. More money. Everyone’s admiration.” You know there are inevitably problems that will arise, but it sounds so exotic in comparison to my world, that I can’t wait to dig in!
The Tulip Factory by Kacie Davis Idol (The Mom of the Year) Amazon’s description makes it sound like the perfect dreamy, fun summer book: “Before they exchange even a single word, Corrine knows that James will change everything. And sure enough, their serendipitous meeting in a North Carolina coffee shop sets off a whirlwind of desire and possibilities for the two.”
Hey! Want to buy our new book? I Just Want to Be Perfect brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.
Summer is the perfect time for hanging by the pool, putting your feet in the sand, and catching up on your reading. These sizzling summer reads are all winners and will pair nicely with just about anything you have planned.
On the surface this book is nothing special, a familiar story about a SAHM who suddenly has to work full time. But “Danger, Will Robinson”, it’s the quiet ones that will get you. With its light, breezy touch, infinitely likable characters, and easily recognizable tensions, this book will sink its stealthy hooks into you and then spit you out an afternoon later. Erin adored Alice, her kids, and her very believable relationship with her husband. This may not be ground-breaking fiction, but it is a wholly satisfying, utterly delicious piece of literary pie.
‘Tis the season for a baseball reference, so here goes: this book knocks it out of the park. The story is simple and unassuming on the surface: Lucy is recovering in a hospital bed when her estranged mom comes to visit. However, Lucy is no ordinary protagonist and Strout is a gifted writer so the results are literary fireworks. Small but mighty, this slim novel packs a lot of extraordinary into a tight, narrative thread. We both loved Strout’s other gem Olive Kitteridge, so we weren’t surprised by how wonderful this read was so much as profoundly grateful for another reason to worship at the altar of the inimitable Strout.
Erin always considers it a good thing when she wants to throttle and hug the characters in equal measure. Straub’s story offers up characters that deliver on this front. College bandmates now mellowing in middle age, Elizabeth and Andrew who are married live down the street from old bandmate Zoe and her wife Jane. The band’s fourth member Lydia achieved some success on her own. When a film about Lydia’s life requires them all to touch the past, their present unravels a little at the seams. Straub’s deft hand controls the realistic tensions, steers the careful and realistic examination of midlife, and delivers characters that resonate. A satisfying, well-paced read by a gifted writer.
If you can judge a family by its flaws, the Plumbs are a perfect hot mess of a crew. They also couldn’t be more charming. The novel kicks off with the family inheritance in jeopardy after one of the siblings gets himself into hot water. As the four siblings wrestle with the mess left behind, it would be tempting to dismiss them as shallow or lacking substance. However, Sweeney gives each character multiple dimensions. She exposes their humanity and moves the story along. In doing so, their tale of personal woes, family ties, and thwarted ambitions is reminiscent of challenges we all face. A thoroughly entertaining read.
Marriage isn’t a straight narrative so much as a thousand shimmering moments—beautiful, terrible, and strange—and Offill lays them all out for us in this gripping, lovely book about what it means to take this particular trip. With her unique gift for plucking the extraordinary from the everyday, Offill doesn’t just offer up moments from a marriage but gives us glimpses of the diamonds hidden in the rough patches as well. Offill’s structuring of the story can be the reader’s hard work. Through her careful curation of snippets from the marriage at the heart of this novel, Offill leaves the reader asking on every page—how do these pieces fit together? what does this mean here? Yet it’s these tenuous but important questions that serve the story she is trying to tell and give the reader a satisfying and wonderful read.
Nothing quite captures the emotional pressure cooker of the admissions process quite like this utterly delectable piece of fiction. The Hawthornes are a family so familiar you feel from the first page like you might be reading about your next door neighbors. As their oldest gets put through the wringer applying to Harvard, dad’s alma mater, so do the rest of them. Things unravel, secrets surface, and everyone responds to the demands of the process in different ways. In real life, this would be heart-breaking and soul-crushing. In a book, all the elements jive beautifully for an immensely enjoyable read for you that will make you grateful for your own process in comparison.
Summer is a great time to dive in to a juicy mystery. After a lovely party at the lake house, the Edevane family’s 11 month old son Theo goes missing. Morton’s page turner takes this pivotal moment in a family’s history and creates something special and utterly unputdownable. Told from two vantage points–2003 London and 1930s Cornwall–this book will have you ignoring kids just to figure out what is happening and where this story will go. As always, Morton’s gift for managing complicated story lines while simultaneously creating well-developed characters will make you grateful for all that extra time you have to read by the pool.
Before this one was a movie, it was a delicious book club read of ours. In a nutshell, a young woman loses her job and then goes to work for a young quadriplegic, but that’s just on the book jacket. There is so much meat to this tale. The relationship that develops between Louisa and Will doesn’t just touch the reader, it makes you reevaluate the line between ordinary and extraordinary and the paths we take to get where we need to go. It also launched a great book club discussion which is, of course, the very best endorsement.
Don’t read the dust jacket: this book is neither Gone Girl nor The Girl on the Train, both books we really, really liked even with their creepy, psychological suspense. It IS a great read though. In fact, it reminded us more of Leanne Moriarty’s The Husband’s Secret with the marital secrets and the mystery at the heart of it. Sometimes, multiple points of view can be distracting, but in this case, the structure of the novel contributes to some of the magic. Be forewarned: you could easily lose an afternoon falling down this delightful rabbit hole, but the pay-off is worth it!
We know what you are thinking: “Um, ladies, this is actually literature. Not chick lit. Not a beach read. This will not go well with my margarita and chillaxing.” We beg to disagree. We’ll concede that this IS literature at its finest. Steinbeck did win the Nobel Prize for Literature after this one after all, but this powerful epic narrative of two families as they rise and fall and love and lose is exactly what you need to get your heart racing. Sexy as hell, East of Eden is dangerous too. Sure, people like to chalk it up to a modern retelling of Adam and Eve, but that simplification doesn’t do this story justice. Steinbeck picks at our fundamental desire to find love and be found and joins us in our search for the answer to the question “who am I really?” He gets that humanity is flawed perfection itself and he has given us a novel that wraps this all up in one deliciously enticing tale. Take the apple, friends. You will be rewarded.
With 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect, it is just as great whether you are hanging our poolside, by the beach, or even just the doctor’s office.
When I was a lifeguard, this moment right at the start of the the season was the most dangerous time of the year in a pool. In my seven years guarding, most of my saves were young swimmers in the first few weeks after opening. Kids came back to the neighborhood watering hole after a long winter and jumped right into the water fully expecting to swim like their end-of-summer-super- strong-swimmer selves. Their relative weakness after a long hiatus would bring on panic and cause them to flounder. Either that or they would sink like stones in their first jump off the diving board. Even now with my pool-running days way back in my rearview mirror, I still get anxious at the opening of the season and for good reason.
A couple of years ago, our friend hosted her annual End of School/Welcome Summer pool party. With tables overflowing with yummy eats, good friends brimming with conversation, and a pool full of splashing, happy kids, we were all in a happy, relaxed place. This is not to say that we weren’t vigilant. In fact, the sides of the pool were lined with moms and dads watching their kids play or even in the water with them. But the pool was packed full, there was a lot of splashing and carrying on, and in the end, even with lots of eyes on and in the water, nobody saw the tragedy that almost played out in front of us.
What to expect at an end of year pool party
I was busy refereeing a disagreement over a pool noodle, when a woman I barely knew walked over to me with a crying little girl in her arms.
“I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am to your son. He just pulled my little girl off the bottom of the pool.”
My eyes found my ten year old breathing heavy on the side of the pool. He had been swimming underwater trying out his new goggles when he saw the little girl on the bottom. He reacted quickly, grabbed her by her polka dot suit straps and yanked her to the surface. The little girl was a new swimmer and had slipped down the slope that led from the shallow end to deeper water. It was a common mistake, but her panic at not being able to put her foot down rattled her. When she panicked, she got some water in her mouth and ended up on the bottom of the pool. The scariest part: not one single adult sitting on the edge or swimming near her saw her go under. This is the stuff that stops my heart, scary movies be damned.
Our story is one of a near miss and we are grateful for it, but this scenario is common this time of year. In fact, at another pool party the same time the next year, I jumped in fully dressed to pull another five year old to safety. It’s the most dangerous time of the year in a pool. So what can you do?
First of all, the very best thing you can do for your kids if you plan to even look at water this summer is make sure everyone can swim. Find a reputable place for some lessons and then commit the time and resources to get this one done. But there is a caveat to this very sage advice: real lessons shouldn’t start until age 4. Swimming lessons are not a replacement for common sense and they can give a false sense of security. By all means, have your kids take lessons as early and often as you are able, but know this truth: just because your child can swim a little and very young kids can swim, it does not mean they have enough stamina to swim out and then back to safety, a key marker of a competent swimmer.
Second, make a hard and fast rule that no one enters ANY body of water (even backyard kiddie pools) without a buddy. Accidents happen even to great swimmers, even in inches of water. Even with people watching. Lots of people.
Third, never leave a swimming child unattended. We both have kids who have spent a season or five on a swim team and would easily qualify as strong swimmers. There is no way we would let any of our kids ever swim unattended. We’ll say it again: accidents happen even to great swimmers, even in inches of water.
So stay swim safe out there, folks! Summer fun is right around the corner and we wouldn’t want anything to spoil your fun!
There’s an inclination in motherhood to dial this whole gig we are doing up to ten, scrapbook it up real nice, and then add a Pinterest bow on top. Feel free to blame the internet for that, but we here at The Sisterhood are not immune. We have the photographic cringe-worthy evidence to back it up. But newsflash, friends: perfectly imperfect is the new black. Check out the following exhibits of our striving for the elusive motherhood pinnacle of perfection. Trust us, we are laughing on the inside.
Exhibit A:
When non-crafty people have delusions of grandeur
Exhibit B:
Sometimes even simple snacks are simply too much.
Exhibit C:
Sometimes brown thumbed girls get a little ahead of themselves and plant a tree in the name of family bonding
But lucky for us (and YOU!), we found a group of friends who are laughing with us, not just at us. That’s why we are so excited to be part of a new anthology that’s all about the art of being perfectly imperfect. Jen Mann of the People I Want to Punch in the Throat blog masterminded this anthology. She has books on the New York Times bestseller list, so we basically begged to be included. With 37 funny stories about women who have tried—and failed—to achieve perfection, we know you won’t just love it but laugh your way through it too. Better yet, we know you will feel like you have found the “little black dress” of motherhood. This book fits just right and makes us feel great! We want to carry it with us everywhere! We know you will too!
You can order your very own copy to carry everywhere.
So feel free to order a copy of the book, either paperback or Kindle, and leave a review if you really want to be a pal. It’s a great book for the bottom of your beach bag and will make you laugh (we promise!) whether you are chilling by the pool, hitting the beach, or shuttling kids to camp. In fact, one could argue it’s the perfect accessory for wherever you’ll be hanging out this summer.
If you have a high school senior, you are sprinting towards the finish line. You might feel a bit whoozy as you rush from that end-of-year banquet to that awards ceremony while simultaneously planning a graduation party, but buckle up. If you are getting ready to launch your first chick from the nest, this is the roller coaster ride you will be riding all summer. Time certainly feels like it is running out now: time together as a family, time to just enjoy your kid, time to tell your kid everything he needs to know about having a beautiful, safe, happy life, time to just love her in the easy way that is a family. But the truth is that we never stop parenting, it’s just HOW we parent that has to change over the next few years. Here are some things you can do to get a kid ready for college. These ideas will help you all!
1. Ride the wave.
Let yourself and your kid feel whatever you need to feel. Pride, joy, a sense of loss, apprehension, even grief—all of these emotions might bubble up. Or not. You are an individual and so is your kid. Just like there is no real compass for how to handle sending your kid off into the great blue yonder we call The College Years, there is no one right way to feel about them leaving either. You can’t help yourself from wanting a way to navigate the vast sea of unknowns and unknowables, but you can help you and yours by being honest about where you are and what you are feeling.
Are you gonna be able to muster a thumbs up? Or a mopey hug? Either way, it’s OK.
2. Ask for help.
As in all things in parenting, reach out to the those who have traveled this road before, either virtually or in real time. We have made a great booklist to help you, but don’t dismiss the value of the internet and great posts like this one about how to send your firstborn son to college or this perfect guide to college. Sometimes, the short, sweet observations from the road ahead will be just what you need when you need it. Similarly, we think of the ladies over at Grown and Flown as our internet big sisters on this road. They have great posts about nearly every aspect of this next phase of life. Of course, we have a short and simple guide for how you can help your girlfriend send her kid to college too. The bottom line? For some things like sending your kid to college there is no way to go but through it. Just know that you don’t have go it alone.
3. Create a space to come home to.
Special traditions can be a pain with all the planning, time, and expense, but every time Erin made her husband tape up a pinata for Cinco de Mayo or order special treats for their Doctor Who party, she said the same thing: “Kids come home for stuff like this.” We both always wanted to create our own little country that my kids would want to keep visiting. We invested in experiences over things and hoped that not having a pony would pale in comparison to all the happy memories we made.
4. Be honest about what you need.
All we parents really want is to have a good relationship with our kids especially as they move up and out. But an 18 year old’s ideas of what that entails differs wildly from his parent’s. Between texting, Facetime, Skype, and Snapchat, there is no end to the ways to stay connected as the miles between you stretch, but a good relationship requires open and honest communication, not just easy access. Tell your kid what you want but tread lightly. Even if you asked him to call you every Sunday, don’t nail him when he doesn’t. Text often and leave the lines of communication open. Then when he goes radio silent on you, hopefully, it won’t be for too long.
5. Sit on hands, close mouth, open ears.
Active parenting is over, but actual parenting is not. It is so much easier to say than do, but plan to listen 90% of the time and only offer advice when asked. Young adults need to wrestle through decisions and make their own conclusions. If you want to be the sounding board, start acting like one.
6. Set goals and make clear expectations.
Things are gonna get awkward. Someone called freshmen “high schoolers who happen to be in college. ” Your child and his peers won’t have all the life skills figured out by October. Being honest about what they can expect, what we expect, and what we want for them and what they want for themselves will do much to create a positive relationship this year. It’s also a good time to mention that college is not a magical place of unicorns and rainbows. These years are also hard work, crappy roommate drama, and bad food. There are plenty of goods to outweigh the bad, but it’s life and if it’s crappy sometimes, that’s ok today.
7. Be flexible.
An open heart and an open mind won’t just benefit everyone, it will make this parenting an adult thing a smoother transition. Vow to be open to talking about your own college experience as well as to hearing that his isn’t great. Vow to ask open-ended questions as well as be ready for answers that you aren’t ready for. Vow to let her follow her own path and to check your own stuff.
You CAN do this!
You are about to have one of those summers that can’t be captured in a postcard or photograph. The emotional roller coaster and the super warp speed time travel may be disorienting and draining. But remember: this new hard thing called college may not be as unfamiliar as you might have thought. A lot of this summer is really just getting ready, physically and emotionally. You will need to outfit the perfect college dorm and find bargains to make it all affordable. Let these last steps together bolster your resolve and boost your confidence. You didn’t get through the last eighteen years of parenting without knowing how to rock a back-to-school list. You can do this. You HAVE done this. This can be done. Sending a kid to college may not be as easy as checking off boxes, but it’s just the next phase in this parenting ride you are on with your child. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.
We are on a wild ride here at The Sisterhood: The Express Chute to College. It goes from 0 to 600 without any brakes, takes surprise hairpin switchbacks that leave your disoriented for days, swings your emotions from elation to heartbreak on the turn of a dime, and grinds your bank account until it physically hurts . . . but we wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. It’s a blessing, but, oh my goodness, it’s exhausting. Between the two of us, we’ll be on this ride so long we may need a rehabilitation program to adjust us to life without SATs and submitting the Common Application on the regular.
Just so you can be sure to follow along on your scorecard, Erin has five kids–four sons and one daughter–and Ellen has two daughters. Erin kicked this party off by sending her oldest son to college last year, Ellen sends her oldest daughter away in August, Erin follows up the next year with her daughter, then we both get a two year break until “Boom!” Erin sends another son while Ellen sends her youngest daughter for a double graduation year. But wait, there’s more! Literally. Erin has two more sons.
But just to cut to the chase, there is one lifeline that will trump all others. Staying connected. We’ve written oodles of advice about keeping the lines of communication open with your kids, BUT . . .
Sometimes it’s not about leaving yourself open to their ideas and opinions.
Sometimes it’s not about leaving your own agenda behind and following their lead.
Sometimes it’s not about keeping your mouth shut and your ears open.
SOMETIMES IT’S ONLY ABOUT THEM HAVING A CHARGE ON THEIR EVERLOVIN’ PHONE WHEN THEY HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK TO YOU.
Seriously. Sometimes it’s that simple. And what is simply wonderful is that this is one of those moments where blogging has made our parenting easier and better. We have been lucky enough to partner with myCharge several times over the past couple of years, but this time they really came through for us by gifting us the myCharge HubPlus 6000mAh. (By the way, we’re able to gift you with a 40% off coupon code and a chance to win an iPad mini and a HubPlus of your very own, but more on that in a bit, also known as “at the bottom of the post.”)
We’re not even kidding when we say myCharge gave Erin one of the best conversations of her life.
Erin: Since my son went to school 300 miles away, texting has been our connection. There have been some calls and Face Time with the whole family boisterously talking over top of each other as is the dog pile M.O of the Dymowski clan, but calls between just my boy and me have been few and far between. Until The Call.
I hadn’t shared an actual conversation with him since our good-byes as he went back to school after winter break. So while I was pleasantly surprised when HE called me out of the blue, my first words were a panicky “Is everything ok? Are you bleeding?” But he babbled right over my initial nervous blurt, we bantered a little, and then he talked NON-STOP for the better part of an hour. It was Christmas in April, a ticker tape parade, and perfect haircut all rolled up in one! I heard all about his summer internship (which I knew nothing about), his new girlfriend (who I sort of knew about. Thank you, Instagram feed!), his classes (which his sister said were kicking his butt), and his work on the television and radio stations there (which I watched or listened to each week). Never underestimate the power of real spoken words in real time over the airwaves to warm a Mom’s heart and keep the connection going strong.
This picture with myCharge was posed when I picked my boy up from school, but the moment myCharge gave me with my son was 100% authentic. We call this one: Call your mother!
Ellen: And remember those hairpin switchbacks we were talking about on The Express Chute to College? My family was thrown for its own loop. Just eight days before a commitment had to be signed, we were visiting the University of Miami–an eleventh hour addition to the Common App. A school that was ultimately added because of its academics and opportunities, but was initially thought of because I asked my daughter to apply to a school in a city that was not a past terrorist target. See, the applications were due just weeks after the Paris bombings and her school choices were all located in either Boston, New York City, or Washington, DC.
So, Miami wasn’t the top choice–at that point, she was pretty set on Boston–so only my daughter and I went down because, well, airfare. But our trip seemed worthwhile from the get-go because our meetings with students and the assistant dean impressed us. And as we texted, snapchatted, instagrammed, facebooked, and tweeted our way through the campus (to keep my husband and family in the loop), my daughter knew this was the one. The joy in her face and voice can still choke me up. And all I could think of was “I can’t believe this is the one Frank missed after going all over the East Coast.”
I told her, “You have to call your father and explain to him how this feels to you. Texting is not enough”
And I’m not even kidding, because of myCharge she could. Snapchat can kill a battery.
She dialed her dad for an actual conversation which is almost like spotting a unicorn except more rare.
And they talked . . .
And talked.
Because we had the battery power, her Dad was able to share in the magical moment, I was able to take pictures of the whole thing, we were able to continue using Google maps to get us around, and we both never missed a beat on social media. Did I mention my daughter and I both fully charged our phones off of a single HubPlus charge??
But enough about us! Let’s talk about what you can get! If you’re a US resident you can enter to win your own iPad mini and HubPlus! We’ve been talking about all that it has done for us phone-wise–like extending talk time by a whooping 45 hours–but this baby is so powerful it can charge an iPad! And no cords to lose! The wall prongs, micro-USB cable, and Apple® Lightning™ cable are all fully integrated. And one of our favorite features is the pass through charging. You can plug this into the wall, plug in your device and the powerbank and connected device will charge simultaneously. We never knew how much this was missing from our lives until MyCharge introduced us to it.
Even if you don’t win the giveaway or unable to enter because you’re not a US resident, you can still come out on top.
Go here to myCharge, enter promo code CONGRATS and receive 40% off your very own HubPlus! (The code is valid until the end of June 2016.) There is free shipping on all orders over $25. These would make swell graduation or Father’s Day gifts!
by Leah Remini (
by Gabrielle Zevin (
by Judy Blume (
by Kristen Mae (
by Judy Blume (
Now that you’ve got the whole list, we know you’re dying to immediately lose yourself in book pages, but don’t forget to first enter the fantastic giveaway here! Eleven of these books (
by Elisabeth Egan
, so we weren’t surprised by how wonderful this read was so much as profoundly grateful for another reason to worship at the altar of the inimitable Strout.
3. 
by Emma Straub
by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney
by Jenny Offill
by Meg Mitchell Moore
by Kate Morton
by Jojo Moyes
by Fiona Barton
nor 
, both books we really, really liked even with their creepy, psychological suspense. It IS a great read though. In fact, it reminded us more of Leanne Moriarty’s 
with the marital secrets and the mystery at the heart of it. Sometimes, multiple points of view can be distracting, but in this case, the structure of the novel contributes to some of the magic. Be forewarned: you could easily lose an afternoon falling down this delightful rabbit hole, but the pay-off is worth it!
So feel free to order a copy of the book, either paperback or Kindle, and leave a review if you really want to be a pal. It’s a great 
