For Monday Listicles, Ducky, the maestro of sass and humor at Batcrap Crazy, suggested “10 Amazing memories from not so long ago.”
Hmmm. When you think amazing, you think of wonderful blessings like rainbows and microbrewed beer. Things that radiate positivity. So, we started making a list of memories and it was long and it was great, BUT it was booooor-ing. And we wanted you to be amazingly entertained. We needed a different angle.
So when all else fails, turn to the dictionary. (Okay, we all know we Googled it, but we like to pretend we’re old school.)
Amazing: adjective – Causing great surprise or wonder; astonishing.
So we’re going with memories that evoked surprise, wonder or astonishment retold with our own measure of sass and humor.
Our Version of 10 Amazing Memories
1. Ellen remembers the time Erin punked her.
We were forming our LLC and I had the paperwork for Erin to sign. We live about 35 minutes apart and our schedules for that week were so crazy that we were hard pressed to find a time to meet. Erin chimed in that her high schooler’s soccer team was playing my daughter’s school and we could meet at the game. She thought the game was at my school and I told her she was wrong. About 5 different times. In five different ways. She insisted the game was in my neck of the woods. Before I left my house to meet her at my high school, I texted her with “Are you sure the game location is changed?” She replied, “Yep.”
Against my better judgement, I drove to my school and trekked out to the soccer field which is so far removed from the parking lot that I recommend packing a snack and a fully charged cell phone before setting out. Squinting, I could faintly see kids running around, but as I got closer, I saw ponytails. It was the girls’ soccer team. Practicing.
Whipping my fully charged phone out, my “Where the bleep are you?” was met by her innocent “Where are you?” She thought her “Yep” clarified that the game was indeed at her school. She thought that even though I could not spare 17 minutes to meet her halfway between our houses, I was suddenly willing to make the 90 minute round trip to her son’s school to collect her signature. On the I’d-like-to-make-a-voodoo-doll side, at least I got to wait at the school for 40 minutes for my daughter to finish her volleyball practice. I do not wonder if the rest of what I said was blazed upon her brain forever.
2. Erin remembers a time when she could keep her calendar straight.
So with exhibit A (see above) still fresh in everyone’s memory, I proceeded to punk my husband, Steve, as well. As I set off to the cross country championships with the girl child, I sent Steve to the soccer fields with the four boys and a crappy, erroneous game schedule. Steve pieced together the REAL schedule through luck and ingenuity for 3 of the 4 boys, but there was a victim in this fiasco: the kindergartener who missed his game completely. Never mess with a hyper-verbal kindergartner. Poor Steve not only had to deal with unraveling the cryptic schedule but the fallout from an irate five year old as well. When I saw them hours later, the little one busted through the door and announced, “Daddy can’t take me to soccer anymore.” Steve gave me the look that long-marrieds recognize as “this one is going on the list”. Yikes!
And no one ever listened to me cite a soccer schedule again. Phase 1 of trying to rid myself of the job of Master Scheduler complete. Mwahaahaahaa.
3. Ellen remembers a time when 25 minutes was not added to each round trip to her kids’ school.
I might not have gotten so peeved about the soccer screw-up if I had not been having time sucked away by the detour to the school. Sucked away like gerbil hair attacked by a Dyson on steroids.
Three days before school began in August, the rinky-dink bridge over the trickling saliva stream of a creek on my road was closed for replacement. That bridge is still closed. I make up to three round trips to that school each weekday and sometimes on Saturdays. I have lost days worth of minutes, People.
Think of the awesome blog posts I could have written! Think of all llamas I could have pinned on Pinterest! Think of all the laundry I could have done! Wait, I’m now thinking of all of the times I could have used this as an excuse.
4. Erin remembers a time when her kids were all in the same school. On the same schedule.
With the same days off. With half the paperwork and emails from administrators. With the same drop-off and pick-up times. <sigh> Those were the days. Talk about a time suck. Love you high school.
5. Ellen remembers a time when she had regular Friday date nights.
Speaking of loving high school, ALL activities, competitions, dances, parties, and tournaments seem to fall on Fridays. Wait, I’m exaggerating. A gagillion events consume Saturday nights too. Ironically, just when I no longer need a babysitter, my babies’ social calendars override mine.
6. Ellen remembers when she had an appendix and her house was not such a wreck.
My friends, my husband, and my children did an excellent job of keeping our lives running after my surgery, but let’s just say a lot of of things just got pushed to the periphery. And might now be overflowing to the center. A cleaning service would not be turned away.
7. Ellen remembers when she could run.
My appendectomy put a serious hurting on my half marathon training and therefore is putting a serious strain on my waistbands.
8. Ellen remembers when she could fit into this costume.
Yeah, not running is not a good thing. Coco (14) did have to cinch it quite a bit, so maybe I haven’t lost that much ground. Just put on your happy face and nod.
9. Ellen remembers when she could find her shoes, jewelry, and make-up.
Coco doesn’t just take my old Halloween costumes.
10. Erin remembers when these pants fit.
I spent Labor Day weekend shopping furiously to piece together some semblance of a work wardrobe for the job I didn’t know I was going to have until three days before school started. All went well and I found a fair number of great pieces including these pants which fit perfectly that day. Now, two months in, they look like this. Some fabulous combo of stress, work, and regular exercise have transpired to create this situation. Or it could be a tapeworm. Either way, I’m not complaining
Great job on the weight loss, Erin (although I really hope it’s not a tapeworm ;))
And #4…my kids are in this stage right now. I’m dreading the days they aren’t.
The Twix costume? AWESOME!!
Runnermom-jen recently posted..I Remember…
Erin looks great, right? And in a flip-flop, I spent the last three years with my kids in different schools (they did have the same days off, but they had different start and end times). They are now in the same location and it is so much better! Now if only that stupid bridge would open, I think I might claim that I live in Mommy Nirvana. Ellen
LOL! The tapeworm comment had me laughing!
This was a great list. You guys crack me up!
Dawn Beronilla recently posted..Day 4: B Is For Bad.
The tapeworm comment got me too. 🙂 Ellen
I would love to remember the kind of pants transformation Erin experienced. Super Twix is a fab idea and now I must scavenge through the kids treat bags.
Robbie recently posted..Brain Freeze
I took a picture of my daughter wearing the costume and eating a Twix bar. We titled it “Cannibalism.” Ellen
Love the super Twix costume and the last pics of you with the big pants. You made me laugh out loud.
Bruna from Bees with Honey recently posted..featured artist: little B
Thanks! Erin only wanted to use the goofy picture, but I insisted we needed the one that showed how far that waistband could be stretched out. Ellen
The period between not requiring sitters and your teens getting a social life is waaaaay too short!
Twix is on of my favourites…great costume! Hope you’re feeling better Ellen. Wooo-hoooo Erin!!!
Diane recently posted..10 Amazing Memories from a Not-so-Distant Past…
I am feeling much better now. Thank you. Ellen
The schedule. Oh the dreaded schedule, and pick ups, and driving forever, and miscommunication! Ugh. Just yesterday I sent Dal to pick up Taryn at the movies. He went to the wrong theatre. I swear I told him. Probably. Maybe. Possibly told him which one…
Bridget recently posted..Monday Listicles
Sooooo glad you understand! We are not alone in the schedule fails. Ellen
Whoot to tha whoooo on pants that are too big! And how awesomely adorable is the Twix idea?! I’ve made a mental note on the costume and daughter thing. Thankfully there are a few for which there is no photographic evidence!
Ducky recently posted..I’ve Got Swagger…
Yeah, we saw your previous costume list and the disclaimer that was there. ;).
Great topic for a Listicle.
Ellen
I have a detour in my neighbourhood that is really cramping my chauffeur style; I will never get that time back. Great list! 🙂
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..10 Memories From Saturday
You KNOW what I am talking about! It is killing me. Ellen
Nice job on the pants girl! I would pay money for a tapeworm…which ironically, I realize I could have actually done in the 50’s or something! 😉 Great post y’all…I loved it!-Ashley
thedoseofreality recently posted..Politics of the Playground
Nice pants! My kids have NEVER been on the same schedule. So I don’t have that nice memory 😉
Stacie @ Snaps and Bits recently posted..10 Stormy Memories From 2011
If it was a tapeworm, you’d be half the woman you were 😉
Alison recently posted..Cookies, Bonbons, Community, Oh My!
I loved #8, and congrats to Erin on the weight loss!
Ginger Kay recently posted..Routinized vs. Whimsical
Awesome twist on the list as usual and great job on not fitting into those pants! Also, I’ve made a note never to meet either of you anywhere unless you get there first and then confirm your location via gps. or something. 😉
BonnyBard recently posted..Monday Listicles – The Happy Edition
You may have changed my life with the “confirmation via GPS” advice! Ellen
I nodded my way through your list. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools and 1 at home full time this year. There isn’t a calendar known to man that will keep all that junk straight. And Erin, I would totally take a tapeworm if it meant I could fit into my skinny pants. snort.
Delilah recently posted..Storing Up Amazing Memories
Delilah, you made me shudder. You need a chip implanted inside your brain to keep your life straight. 🙂 Ellen
Tapeworm…LOL. Loved your list. I always enjoy your listicles. You two are so much fun! Thanks for sharing!
Terri Sonoda recently posted..Monday Listicles – Five Not-So-Distant Memories
You never fail to make me chuckle. Your blog is one of my Monday listicles favorites!
I envy you this thing of “having-all-kids-in-one-school.” I have two out of three of my sons in the same school for two years (elementary school). That’s the extent of it. Enjoying it while it lasts!!
Ellen, my house looks like that all the time. Seriously. I love the fact that my hubby is a stay-at-home dad, but I don’t think he places cleaning on quite as high a priority as I might.
Congrats on the weight loss. Are you sure they didn’t take out your appendix, too?
Marie recently posted..10 amazing memories from a not-so-distant past
I want a tapeworm! Seriously, I NEED a tapeworm. Breastfeeding is just not cutting it. Thank you for reminding me of another perk of having these kids close together – they’ll be at the same school most of the time when they’re older. Thank God.
Azara recently posted..10 amazing memories from a not so distant past
Ellen is a very cute Twix bar and how great about the pants Erin. Woo.
Jamie@SouthMainMuse recently posted..10 Great Recent Memories for a hot grandma. (Who keeps forgetting she’s not a grandma.)
Ellen-L.O.V.E. the Super Twix costume! Erin- congrats on the weight loss!
You guys crack me up. And please don’t talk about the crazy schedules! For the time being I have everyone tucked away at one school. It’s nice and neat and cozy. And I like it that way 🙂 p.s. you both look fab!
Great list! Super twix is awesome! And awesome losing weight! Can I borrow your tape worm?
Audrey recently posted..Monday Listicles – 10 Amazing Not So Distant Memories
Oh you girls are fab. There is a half marathon with Ellen’s name on it. Heck I see a marathon actually, with a cape from Super Twix! And Erin running alongside! Yes!!!
Stasha recently posted..Monday Listicles
Wow, now that’s a twix bar! Great costume =)
Anja recently posted..Morroccan-style Frosted Glass Door – Tutorial
So much awesome I don’t know what to mention first! The costume? Awesome. Erin’s weight loss. Double awesome. The punking? Omg. I’ll never cross you, lady. Ever!
Kristi recently posted..10 Amazing Memories From A Not So Distant Past-Monday Listicles
You guys are just too funny! LOVE all of those…but the tapeworm really got me laughing hysterically. Good for you though for looking awesome in your new bod!!!
Chris Carter recently posted..Wounds Make Warriors…
Love both the Twix costume and the pants that now double as hand warmers. Perhaps there is a way to combine the two…?
Amanda recently posted..Princess Lilah
SO glad to discover you b/c of Listicles! You are so much fun…and Now I’m going back and getting a laugh out of all of your stuff. Makes me want a sister to blog with! (or a sister at all–I’ve go only brothers, AND only sons! HELP! :))
ALOHA, and see you again soon!
Well, you are in luck because we aren’t related – we’re friends. There’s hope for you finding a partner. But I do have to admit that it is a very special person whom you can blog with and REMAIN friends. 🙂 Ellen
OK, love the costume AND the too big pants! My kids are in High School, both are driving and I’d love to go back to the carpool days, turns out that’s WAY less stress.